Paper Plane

By: Lady Lithe

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Naru-chan: Thank you all who reviewed!


Chapter Two: Throw It All Away

Riding on these waves

Holding on to what you say

Everything will be okay; it will work out one way.

But I've drifted way too far. My arms my legs have grown too tired

And could you be inspired – now I'm just tired.

And on a swing you push me hard

So I'll come back to where you are.

-Azure Ray, The Drinks We Drank Last Night

"You're leaving."

It wasn't a question. It was an accusation. Harry shut his eyes and felt himself tense up.

"You're really leaving…" Her voice was etched with sadness now.

"Yes," he answered quietly, not facing her. Instead he remained where he was, his back turned to her and his head bowed over his packed trunk. He refused to look at her, but he knew that her head was probably raised, her chin high and firm.

"Why?" It was only one word but the hurt behind it tore through his heart.

"I've just murdered several people. I think I deserve to go away," he heard himself snap. He didn't mean to. He didn't want to. But he simply felt it burst from inside of him.

"That's a horrible excuse, Harry, and you know it," she whispered fiercely.

He shrugged.

"But it's over…it's finally over. Two years – the two years of separation are over. We don't need to hide it anymore; we don't need to avoid each other. We can be together now. Harry…" her voice was soft…pleading. "Don't do this. Please."

"I need to," he replied, feeling his nails dig into his flesh as his hands balled into fists. He struggled to keep all emotion from his voice. He couldn't let her see how much he was hurting.

"You don't need to do anything anymore! Don't you see? You've come back to me… You're finally free from that prophecy!"

"Can't I just have some time to myself?" he cried out furiously, though he immediately regretted shouting. He swallowed hard. "I just want…to be alone. All my life I've had one goal. To kill the man who killed my parents. The man who took everything from me! And everyone has always expected me to do it! I've never really lived my life. I've never seen the world! For God's sake, I lived in a cupboard for ten years! I just…! I just don't know what I have to live for anymore…"

The silence hung heavily in the room.

"So when you were with me, that's all you ever felt? My expectations of you, the great Harry Potter? And I…I'm not reason enough for you to stay?" her voice lowered and bordered on being accusing, but instead, there was only sorrow.

"That's not what I said," he said lamely.

"Fine. Go. I believe you deserve time alone more than anything, Harry. You deserve to…what was it again? Live. That's right. You deserve to live more than anyone else. And certainly I won't – I can't stop you."

"I…" He took in a shaky breath before he rose and turned to look at her. She stood, tall and strong as always at the door. Her red hair flamed down her back and framed her beautiful, yet pale face. Her eyes flamed with determination…and hurt, but she did not cry. He felt all the emotions inside of him jerking at him. Don't leave her. Don't do it.

"But I will ask one thing. Do you still love me?" she asked, stepping forward so that they were looking into each other's eyes. Her dark, brown eyes searched his.

"Ginny…" he said softly.

She inhaled sharply.

"I see."

She turned away, and began to walk slowly towards the door.

"Ginny…!" he called out to her helplessly again. He had to stop her! Grab her, hold her, kiss her! Let her know just how much he truly cared. If he didn't now he felt in his heart that he would never be able to again. But his limbs refused to move. She halted at the doorframe, her pale hand resting on the golden doorknob. "Come with me."

Inside he was screaming. Come with me! Don't let me leave alone! Tell me that you're not okay with this – that you need me. With you. That you can't live without me. That I can't live without you. Don't let me leave you. And he knew that he had no right to feel this way. That he had no right to ask this. But part of him hoped…that maybe she could be persuaded. He could see the two of them traveling together, being together, seeing the world. Together.

She took a deep breath.

"No, Harry. I belong here. The war just ended, my family…" she stopped. "Just because the war is over doesn't mean that there isn't so much more that needs to be done. My services and needed here. And like you said you want to be alone. To find yourself. I'm not the type of girl drop everything for a boy. I won't let myself become one of those girls. No matter how much I love you…"

"Then…will you wait for me? I swear I'll –"

"Just…hurry up and find yourself Harry, because I don't know how much more waiting I can take."


Harry woke up, drenched with cold sweat. He gasped for breath as he felt his heart slam against his rib cage. He held back a choked sob as he dragged his clammy hands through his dark hair. His eyes frantically flickered about the black room. There was yet another woman beside him, and though he didn't really care if he woke her, he wasn't in the mood for any questions. The only noises that could be heard were his shallow breathing and the pitter-patter of the rain on his single window.

Calming himself, he rose from the bed, not caring when the mattress made a soft creak. He felt the urge to light a cigarette. He hated the blasted things. He hated smoking. It didn't even calm his nerves. The gray, ghostly smoke that came from them sent chills down his spine, for it was slow and deadly. It reminded him too much of snakes. But what he liked was the smell. Or rather, he liked it because he hated it with a passion. The smoke would serpentine around his nose and the harsh, acid-like smoke would fill his lungs, burning his throat. He deserved that uncomforting feeling. It was almost like self-inflicted torture.

But now he sat there, staring out his window at the full moon that flooded white light into his room. He thought of Lupin, his old friend, who had gotten married to Tonks so long ago. He had received their overjoyed wedding invitation, but he had not attended. He was in Japan at the time, he recalled. He had wanted to attend so badly, but he didn't. He made good excuses of course. The Ministry of Magic at Japan just wouldn't let him go. Endless parties and interviews…it was his duty.

Bullshit. He had been much too afraid.

He had always meant to go back. Never had he had an ounce of doubt of returning, but as the days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years... it had become harder and harder to go back. It had never felt like it was the right time.

He wrote. Of course he wrote. But the letters were short and terse. He mostly only sent letters to Ron, Hermione, and Lupin. Ginny…it had been too hard to write to her. He had not wanted to even think about whether or not she would respond so he had refrained from doing so. It was one of the many, many things he regretted doing.

But now…he spent his days mindlessly. Woman after woman after woman. Name? Didn't matter. Intelligence? Didn't matter. Why? Because none of them mattered. They never had and they never would. He had known since the day that he left that there would only be one person for him, but at the time, he didn't want that. He didn't want to settle down so quickly and feel like he'd only known one thing. What if there was something else out there? What if there was something waiting for him? Well…now all he thought was what if there was nothing waiting for him if he went back?

Suddenly there was a flurry of white at his window and a pecking against the glass. Harry blinked, and almost smiled. He walked over and opened it, letting the glorious snowy owl enter and perch itself on his arm.

"Hey, there, girl," he cooed, stroking her wet feathers. "Where have you been? Do you have something for me?"

Hedwig hooted and lifted her leg. Harry untied the small letter attached to it and she flew over into her cage. Quietly he unfolded it. He hadn't been expecting anything. He hadn't sent anything out recently…

Harry,

I'm pregnant and you're the godfather! Ron's a nervous wreck – he even tried to keep me from going to work! I need a steady mind to calm him down. Hurry your arse back here before your other best friend and my husband drives me mad! You've taken much too long! Come home, Harry… A seven-year banishment is long enough. And soon it's going to be Luna's wedding. We're all waiting for our best friend. So come home. Come home.

Hermione

Harry stared at it for a moment before he couldn't resist a laugh. Hermione was as forceful as ever. And pregnant! Blimey, it had taken long enough! He had been their witness when they eloped right before the Final Battle (which had of course driven Mrs. Weasley crazy). And now…after so long… they were having a baby and he was its godfather. He wiped away the tears he hadn't realized he had shed.

How long had it been since he had last seen or spoken to his best friends? And a child... A living, moving being, a combination of Ron and Hermione. A new life. A new hope. Maybe…maybe this was a sign. Maybe…

"Maybe it's time to go home…"


Naru-chan: Like? don't like? Criticism? Questions? All are welcome. Hopefully you did like it though. Review perhaps? And by the way - there's more to his leaving than just that. I just won't tell you yet.