I leaned against the familiar seat of Baby, reveling in the luxury of driving her again, Sammy by my side. Of course I would never say it, but I thought there was no way in hell that I would ever leave hell, at least not as a human still.

The things I did…I didn't feel very human anymore.

And it concerned me that Sam had visions of my first month, or decade, in hell. Alistair had threatened me, saying that Sammy was sure to see everything I did. Sure, I thought it was part of the psychological warfare, but I still tried to block Sam from seeing anything, seeing my agony, hearing my screams.

Apparently I failed at that too.

I was snapped out of my selfish pity-session though.

"Dean, Bobby thinks we ought to get a demon to see if they know how you were released. It won't be pretty, but it's necessary. You up for it?" Sammy said, snapping his cell phone shut.

"Always ready, Sam. Where to?"

"Next exit. We think there's a group of demons in town but we are not sure. We'll stop at the diner, gather intel, all that," Sam said.

I steered baby off the next exit into a small rural town. I pulled up to the first diner I saw.

"Is Bobby meeting us here?" I asked.

"No, he's doing some research on…other stuff," Sam said. I threw him a look before exiting my baby.

Other stuff? They can't trust me, can they?

I walked in the diner ahead of Sam, loaded with Holy Water and my 1911. Sam had the demon knife again, somehow. I would have to ask later.

I lead Sam towards a table in the back where I could observe everyone in the diner and talk privately. A pretty blonde waitress came up and took our drink orders. I stared as she walked away, apparently not subtely enough.

"Dean, focus!" Sammy said, smirking, "Okay, so if there are demons here, we need to check for the usual signs and be prepared to fight."

"Yeah, yeah Sam. The usual," I said, glancing back to the returning waitress. I noted that the diner seemed much quitter suddenly, and the lone family had left.

I cast a look a Sam, hoping he read my message.

"Alright boys, I have your drinks. What can I get you to eat?" she said in a smooth voice.

"I'll have the… Christo salad," Sam said, kicking it old school.

She flinched.

I was standing, firing a round of rock salt into her torso before Sam had drawn the demon knife.

She grinned, punching me in the face full forced. My head snapped to the side as Sam took the opportunity to stab her with the blade, and her internal fire flickered menacingly as she dropped. We worked our way to the exit as several other staff members came out from behind the counter, eyes oil slick black.

"Dammit, Sam. We need to go!"

We fled, as two of the three demons still alive smoked out at the threat of the knife and the holy water I was now throwing around. We were not prepared for that quantity of demons and we needed to regroup.

Firing a few rounds of rock salt for good measure, we climbed into the Impala and sped off, parking at a motel on the opposite side of the small town.

"You okay, Dean?" Sammy asked once I pulled up to the dilapidated motel.

"Never better, Sammy. Missed that," I said.

"How could you miss it if you don't have any memories of hell?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sammy, go check us in while I restock and clean the weapons, okay," I said abruptly. He glared at me for ignoring his question and stomped off to the front desk.

By the time I had cleaned everything and reloaded my 1911, he was back.

"This room," he said, pointing to the door right in front of Baby, "Go ahead in and get established. I have to check some stuff."

I stomped inside with my duffel and began making salt lines at the door and windows, standard practice. I even hopped in the shower.

My first shower since hell.

I let the water run cold. I had had enough heat for a lifetime.

After I enjoyed the cool stream on my muscles, and dressed in some clean jeans and shirt, I sat on the edge of the bed for a moment.

Where is Sam? He should be back by now. Whatever "stuff" he had to do can wait

I tucked the demon knife in my back pocket and went out to check on Sam. Sure enough, he was leaning against the Impala. And a petite brunette stood next to him.

"Sam, who's this?" I asked impatiently, recognizing her faintly but unable to place it.

"No one," he mumbled.

I stepped forward. "Sam?"

The woman watched me closely, eyes glinting with knowledge and recognition.

"Her name's Liz. You don't recognize her from earlier?" he asked, and it clicked. She was the woman from his motel room.

"Got it," I said, grinning, "I can leave, Sammy."

"I was just going," she said hastily, clenching her hands into fists. She ran off to a vehicle awaiting around the corner. I casually noticed that her hand was bleeding just a touch.

She probably tripped.

"Sammy," I said, smiling.

"Don't Sammy me," he retorted, "It's done, don't worry about it." I took his silence as a sign of anger and simply retreated inside before he threw a fit. He followed me inside.

"I'm going to do some research," he said as I clicked on the TV. I let him do his thing for a couple hours, until I realized I was hungry. We hadn't eaten at the diner, and I guess you could say I hadn't eaten in four months.

"Sam, I need some grub. Let's go to a bar," I said, pointing out that it was 9 pm after all.

"Stop whining," he bit.

"Harsh. I haven't eaten in four months, Sam." This led him to reluctantly shut his laptop and put his shoes on. He followed me to Baby, and we went to the nearest bar.

The moment I walked in, I knew something was up. Only two men, the bartender, and one waitress occupied the bar that I would have thought would be busy.

"Sam," I whispered, handing him my 1911 behind his back. I had the knife.

"Hey, Dean. Remember me from hell?" a voice said, stepping out from the corner. I looked to see a tall, toned man, graying but still fairly young.

I froze in fear.

"Dean?" Sam asked, tensing next to me.

The other demons began circling us as the man spoke. "Sammy, is it? I'm Kragen, one of Alistair's apprentices. I got very familiar with how to make Dean scream, now didn't I, Dean-o."

"Dean? You don't remember, right?" Sam's voice pleaded.

I grit my teeth, frozen in fear. A flashback ripped through my mind as Kragen stared at me.

Kragen loomed over me, grinning sadistically as he cracked the whip down across my shoulder, hitting it right where the meat hook hung me from the rack.

"Sammy's not coming for you. He doesn't love you, never needed you. He wouldn't have died in the first place if you hadn't dragged him back into the life of a hunter. He hates you," Kragen spat as I screamed.

Kragen had a knack for psychological warfare, and it kept me rooted in place even once the flashback was over. What he could do to me- to Sammy- was terrifying.

"Dean remembers everything," Kragen said to Sam.

"What?" he gasped.

I watched as a demon tackled Sam, disarming him. I stabbed the demon in the back, suddenly snapping back to reality, before two others restrained me.

"We will have fun," Kragen said, and everything went black.