Ooh! Thanks for reviewing/favouriting/alerting! Here's another chapter for you!
This is another of MissJulia(dot)Miriam's prompts - the second out of five that I'm working on at the moment - and the prompt was 'Falling'.
This one is also fairly near our time, except a little bit ahead – as much as I like to think that The Doctor is already completely in love with her, I think it'll take a bit more time after the reveal, and so this is how I imagine him realising that he is. I've got some other ideas coming from a completely different place in their timelines, but just thought I'd ease my way in with a younger Doctor.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. I do however own a pair of knockoff converse purchased in Vietnam that are a lovely TARDIS blue - I don't suppose that counts?
2. Falling
For the first time in a long time, The Doctor allows himself to feel truly weightless. It's been a while since he's allowed himself this kind of freedom to float effortlessly in and around thoughts like these, and he closes his eyes in an attempt to block out the rushing of blood in his ears. This is, of course, not very logical - he can't close his ears, and the rushing seems almost louder. It takes his mind less than a fraction of a second to bring River into his thoughts.
Everything was much simpler before he knew who she was – he was allowed to feel whatever he liked, without having to realise the subtext of these emotions because he didn't trust her completely yet. He trusted her conventionally – because even when he'd first met her she had given her life to save millions, and as he got to know her better he could plainly see she trusted him implicitly. When Octavian had told him that she'd killed someone, it had made everything easier, because he had had a reason to keep her at arm's length. Now that he knew who she was, the trust was completely and utterly there. It frightened him how suddenly she had become the person he trusted the most, and once he had stopped resisting his feelings, he was able to finally hold her in the same light that she knew he would eventually. He had always known that it would happen – it was inevitable – and he had felt safe in the knowledge that he was obligated to love her, because it was written in time.
It isn't obligation anymore. He loves her. He's sure this time. It's not safe anymore – but he doesn't want it to be. He wants it to be dangerous and sexy and exciting and new and everything that he hopes it'll be. It already is, and it feels exhilarating and beautiful to be exposed to her love.
His heart beats a syncopated tattoo against his ribcage, and he can hear himself yelling against his own will, out of sheer wonder and excitement of the sensation. In this moment, the universe could've been silent apart from the noise of the wind rushing against his ears.
He can't even remember why he's here until he sees that the ground is getting much, much closer – and then he realises that he's falling. He remembers that he's fallen.
He isn't scared, though. He just waits for the familiar blue to flash before his eyes like he knows it will. When it does, it looks like it's falling too – except it's not. It's flying – downwards, but it's flying. It's flying faster than he is falling, and it's at least 2000 feet below him when it stops and spins until it seems like it's floating in the air. The doors of the box are flung open, and an eerie green column shoots out, bathing him in light.
Sooner than he can say 'zero-gravity air corridor' he stops falling, and instead of smacking into the box at 120 miles an hour, he floats downwards gently. She's been lightning-fast, and so he has a full-minute to admire her standing in The TARDIS, leaning against the doorframe and smiling up at him. They're both horizontal, but everything seems the right way up. To The Doctor, everything seems... right. This is how his life is supposed to be – running and loving her and trusting her with his life every other day – the days she's not trusting him with hers. It's the first time he's fallen. It's also the first time he's trusted her to catch him – he guesses he's lucky that the two coincide.
As he draws closer, she reaches out her hand – and he reaches out his in an attempt to hold it, except then the light all around him flickers before vanishing completely. He hovers for a moment before dropping into The TARDIS. As he passes through the doorframe, his body collides with hers and they topple to the floor. He's still giddy from the sensation of the fall, and they giggle together like teenagers. He attempts to pull himself up, but he trips and crashes down on top of her, making them laugh even harder.
"Sorry about that," she says with a grin, "You know it's hell trying to sustain a zero-gravity air corridor."
"I'm safe, aren't I?" He tries and fails to get up again, grinning. "I knew you'd catch me."
"Don't I always?" She untangles their legs, straightening his bowtie.
He stops and thinks. This is the first time she's caught him. This is the last time she'll catch him. Shit. He saw the look on her face the last time something like this happened – he doesn't want to tell her. He'll just wave it of. He can't see her face like that again, because it kills him.
"Yeah, but that doesn't make it any less great..." Hopefully she'll assume that the reason his answer is total crap is because he's just fallen out of an airship and is still a little light-headed. She doesn't show any signs of suspicion. He vows not to have to distract her again because of things like this – he'll have to do everything at once, or something – maybe he can have as many firsts as possible, so it will last that little bit longer. Maybe he can take her with him this time – that way any firsts for him might not be lasts for her.
He kisses her fully on the mouth, his palms resting on the floor of the console room as he braces his forearms either side of her head, her fingers twining in her curls. She responds eagerly, her hands travelling up from where they've been resting on his shoulders until they're at the base of his neck, her thumbs brushing his cheekbones gently. His kiss isn't searching or sweeping like the ones she's been getting lately – those were slow and passionate, like he'd just gotten to know everything about her and he wanted to explore everything about her, map her body out square inch by square inch. With this kiss he is kissing her like he's just discovered it, like it's a secret that someone else could find out about and try to take from him. It's quick and breathtaking and quite frankly, hot. She moans into his mouth, and this only seems to encourage him, but then she parts her legs slightly and he sinks closer to her.
She curses inwardly as he pulls away, but decides not to take it personally. Perhaps they're not there yet... except the last time she saw him they were, and it didn't seem like it was his first time. Either their timelines aren't completely jumbled up or they do it soon. She quite likes this idea – she's always wondered what The Doctor's first time with her was like. He'd never told her anything more than a few whispered secrets.
"What was that for?" She's not complaining, but she wants to know what spurred him on.
"No reason." He shrugs, and then grins. "I really wanted to kiss you." He tilts his head away, and for a moment she sees shyness in his face.
"Doctor, why so coy? You can kiss me whenever you like." She really means that. "Wherever you like." She purrs as an afterthought. He gulps and scratches his chin, not sure how to react at all. She realises she might've gone a bit far, and hastily amends her statement. "It's okay, I don't expect anything from you, I know you're not there yet and I'm not expecting you to feel the same way that I do yet..." She's rambling, trying to stop him being frightened off for fear of losing him forever. "And I completely understand if you want me to go..." She lifts her body upwards, willing herself to just disappear.
She can't get up. His body is pinning her down, his legs still between hers. He stares at her intensely, his eyes boring into hers. He bends down to kiss her on the on the corner of the mouth, his lips just touching her skin briefly. He pulls back, still looking at her and she feels like his gaze is scorching, like it's marking her. He bends down again, pressing his lips to her jaw, kissing a trail down towards her chin then down her neck. She has a feeling that this is the first time he's done anything like this, and she very much loves that she's the one that gets to feel it. He pulls away, and this time his eyes are so dark that she can see entire galaxies in them, and he's looking right at her. She feels vulnerable, even though the rolls should be reversed.
He's just fulfilled everything she's said, but she won't know unless he tells her.
"You're wrong." He says simply, his head dipping.
"Wrong?" She questions. Her hand traces circles absent-mindedly on his hip.
"I want you to expect things from me, because I am there. We haven't yet – but I'm there. I trust you completely and utterly and I don't want to live another day when you're not catching me every time I fall out of an airship. I've fallen – quite literally. I love you." His gaze is still dark and intoxicating, but there's a softness to it now, and she can see the love there. "And I... I don't want you to go this time. I want you to stay – with me, for a while."
She understands now why there was such distance between this and their last meeting. She wants nothing more than to stay for a while, and for things to take their course – for his sake, at least. She feels happy knowing that perhaps this time his first won't quite be her last.
"I'd love to." She whispers, wishing that she had something less-corny to say, but she makes up for it with a breathless kiss, throwing her arms around his neck. This time she gets a mix of this Doctor and The Doctor she kissed the last time – it's still passionate and breathtaking, but that searching, sensual edge that she thought she'd seen the last of is there. She sighs happily, and reluctantly lets go as he pulls away.
"You know what?" He asks, twisting a curl of her hair between forefinger and thumb absentmindedly. "I think I'm beginning to enjoy falling."
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