Will's Monday morning was almost over, gone by in a messy and inconclusive attempt to fill the gaps left by the sudden shortage of associates.
As he frantically searched for something on his desk, papers kept falling on the floor, adding chaos to chaos. His secretary had really chosen the worst day to call in sick. Was she really sick anyway or just got a whiff of what would happen and battened down the hatches? He looked up as he noticed a female figure standing silently in front of him.
"Need help?" Diane said, with a bit of concern, as she glanced around at the mess that was his office.
"I can't find the Thomas/Lewis folder, I have a staff meeting with Martin in half an hour," he said, as he moved more piles of papers to the couch to make room on his desk. He loathed not being able to find what he looked for. The number of clients they had lost wasn't clearly proportional to the number of associates that left. Not by a long shot, Will considered, as the frustration grew more and more by the minute; he didn't find the damn folder.
"Will... we don't have the Thomas/Lewis case anymore," Diane observed, with quiet demeanor, as she stepped in and moved closer, managing to obtain a bit more of his attention.
Will looked up at her, confused at first. What did that mean? Why didn't they have the Thomas/Lewis case anymore?
"Actually we don't even have Martin anymore… he's one of the associates who left…" Diane's voice sounded very calm.
Too calm, Will considered, under the circumstances. Which only made him even more frustrated. He had wasted two hours chasing nothing. He started to seethe, as anger began to mix with frustration in a dangerous union. With a quick gesture, he took his baseball from the desk and in a rage threw it against the wall. The rebound unexpectedly hit the floor lamp, making it fall over. He heard the sound of broken glass, but didn't move. He looked at the lamp on the floor. He never liked it anyway. He breathed deeply, trying to calm down as he realized that he was starting to lose control. How could she have done it? Alicia of all people. He could have expected it from everyone else, but not from her. It was a real stab in the back. He moved to the window wall and peered outside to avoid any questioning gaze from Diane.
"Will…" Diane said with a hint of reproach in her voice. "Is this all about lost clients or lost associates?"
"They left us in complete chaos!" He said, his voice raising as he pointed at all the folders piled up on his desk.
"We should be thankful instead that many clients chose to stay," Diane observed, as she moved next to him. For a brief moment, silence brought back some quiet inside those four walls. "We asked for it…" She said with a light shrug, still looking out, as she met the reflected image of Will in the glass.
They had really asked for it. Will didn't even know what he was expecting in the end. But he couldn't get rid of the image of that fight. He had done the right thing; the advantage of his own firm. That was how things were supposed to be. First his firm, then everything else. Everything else was just… side effect. Even losing her… it was nothing more than a side effect. Then why all this anger? He remembered the conversation he had with Diane one year before, his promise to be ready to sacrifice Alicia if things would turn really difficult for the firm. He never needed to fulfill his promise. Even when he had every right to do it, he had chosen to sacrifice himself for her. What had happened since then? The situation had reversed along the way and Alicia did what was, all things considered, in her best interest. He couldn't blame her. Promoted to partner then downgraded to associate again. Twice in a few weeks time.
"Associates can be replaced at any time… now that we are over the financial crisis we won't have any problem to find new ones," Diane said, as she walked away and started to gather some of the papers scattered on the floor.
Associates… Alicia wasn't an associate. She was way more than that and Will thought that it was very polite for Diane to keep the discussion on a general level. The last thing he wanted was to discuss his feelings. He didn't even want to think about what he felt. He felt at the same time betrayed and betrayer. Too much to handle right now. Diane was right. Associates could be replaced. Maybe it was better. New young greedy lawyers to get back on track before people would start making wrong and harmful assumptions that might hurt the firm's reputation again. His suspension first, then the verge of bankruptcy. Now his best associates teaming up against them. What else? He shook his head to get rid of all those thoughts. Suck it up.
"Leave it…" Will said, not moving from his stance. "I'll do it, my meeting is blown anyway." He slowly walked back to his desk and sat down with a resigned look. The folders would never collate themselves. "All this stuff needs to be reassigned to the other associates… We have to arrange a staff meeting as soon as possible," he said as he quickly scanned through the labels and started to divide the folders in a sort of sensed classification. He noticed Diane standing up and stared at her for a moment. The satisfied half smile on her face was very eloquent. It was time to leave his outburst behind and move on. He still had a firm, after all.
