Clove's steps made a creaking sound against the floorboards.
"I like your house."
Katniss smiled. "It's not a lot really, but it's good enough."
"And Prim and your mother, they're amazing." Clove said grinning as she walked around the room.
"Yeah, they really are." Katniss smiled to herself
Clove suddenly froze for a moment. "Am I going to have to meet Gale?"
Katniss laughed, "Are you still jealous?"
Clove glared at her. "Shut up."
"Clove, he's my best friend."
"I'm your best friend."
Katniss grinned and took a couple steps over to her. She kissed her softly on the lips.
"That was sweet."
Clove continued to glare at her, "Well it better be true."
"ehh" Katniss frowned
"Shut up."
"I'm not kidding."
"I'm sorry, who are you spending time with right now?"
Katniss grinned, "You're right. I should be elsewhere." She turned to walk away.
"Katniss."
She continued to walk.
"Katniss."
No response.
Suddenly Katniss felt a pair of arms grip tightly around her. Clove tackled her against the wall and pressed her lips against hers. She moved down to her neck and began brushing her lips against Katniss' neck tickling her. Katniss broke out laughing.
"Clove! Stop!"
"Say I'm your favorite!"
"Clove!" Katniss struggled against her. She broke off from her a little and reached towards the door. Clove pushed her to the ground and pinned her arms down. She buried her head behind Katniss' ear and began to bite it softly. Katniss squirmed.
"Stop! Clove!"
"Am I your favorite now?" she whispered in Katniss' ear.
"Fine! Fine!" Katniss screamed
Clove laughed and leaned down kissing Katniss softly.
Katniss stroked her hair. "But I do want you to meet him."
Clove sighed and sat up, lifting herself off of Katniss.
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yes. I know no one can compete with me."
Katniss grinned "True."
Clove leaned against the office table and glanced at it. Her eyes caught a picture frame she hadn't seen before. She ran her fingers over it and glanced at Katniss. Katniss met her eyes and glanced at the photo Clove was looking at.
"Katniss, who is this?"
Katniss looked down "It's fine."
"What's fine?"
"Nothing." She grabbed the photo from Cloves hands and placed it on the shelf in the corner face down.
"Katniss?"
"Don't worry about it Clove."
Katniss didn't really know why she didn't tell Clove right away it was her dad. Maybe she thought it was because of Clove's own history with her father it would seem stupid to complain about hers. Maybe it was because she thought Clove wouldn't understand. But that notion was ridiculous, Clove was the most understanding person in the world, despite what people could think.
"She's a career Katniss" Peeta had shouted at her, "She's playing mind games with you."
It was the fact that Katniss had never shared that part of her life with anyone. She had told people about her father of course but if she told Clove she knew that Clove would try to get her to open up about it. And that she was afraid of.
"Katniss? You know you can tell me anything."
"I know."
Clove stepped over to her and grabbed both her hands in hers.
"We've worked through so many things Katniss." she said softly
"It's my dad."
Clove's eyes widened. Katniss had never mentioned her father to Clove before. Clove had never asked because she knew she wasn't good at making people feel better. Whenever Katniss was upset Clove tried her best to come up with the perfect thing to say. She always felt like she fell far from it. Katniss told her she didn't, said that Clove made her feel like the most special person in the world. Clove said the same thing about Katniss. She meant it too. When Clove had told Katniss of her father and his drunken night rages Katniss had pulled her close and held her tightly and whispered soft words within her ear. Clove was determined to do the same for Katniss now.
"What happened to him?" She asked softly
"Umm.."
Clove looked deep into Katniss' eyes. "You don't have to tell me. But I want you to. Because if there's something in this world that's hard for you to face then I want to help you. That's our deal, remember?"
Clove never used to wake Katniss up because of nightmares. In fact, she was determined not to. She slept with her head in her pillow so that when she woke up thrashing she could roll over and easily muffle the sound of her screams. One time she did it though, Katniss was awake and watching her.
"Do you do that every night?"
"Do what?" Clove said trying to brush it off.
"Pretend."
Clove just stared at her. Katniss reached over and brushed a few tears of her cheek. Clove hadn't even realized she was crying. Then Katniss took Clove's hand and pressed it against her cheek in the dark. It was wet.
"Katniss?"
"Clove, it hurts me to see you in pain. But it hurts a million times worse to know that I'm not doing anything about it. I'm here for you Clove. Let me help you."
"It's just a dream. It's weak to be afraid them."
"Clove." Katniss said firmly "You are not weak."
Clove didn't answer.
"You are not weak."
No answer.
"You are not weak."
No answer.
"You are not weak."
Katniss heard a sob.
"You are not weak."
Clove rolled over and put her head against Katniss' chest and cried for the rest of the night. All the nightmares since the games, all the hurt, all the fear, despite it all Clove had never cried since they got out of that arena. Now it came.
Katniss pressed her lips to Clove's.
"Please, please promise me you'll tell me when you hurt."
Clove said nothing.
"Clove please. I'm here for you." Katniss begged. "I will never think you're weak or pathetic or anything less than the brave and strong girl you are."
Clove kissed her gently
"Help me, help you Clove."
"And you'll tell me when you're hurting too." Clove said "I know you hide things from me. And I know that I might not say the most perfect things about your pain but I will never stop trying to."
"I tell you and you tell me." Katniss affirmed
"I'll help you and I'll let you help me." Clove nodded.
"Deal?" Katniss whispered
"Deal."
" A mining accident."
"Katniss, I'm so sorry."
Katniss went on.
"It was just sudden. One day he didn't come back and we thought he was working late. And then we heard others say that they're husbands and brothers hadn't come back. And I knew right then. But I held my mother and Prim and told them the rescue parties might be able to find them. So we waited and waited and I can't think of when we stopped waiting and started accepting."
"Katniss..."
Katniss was crying now.
She rambled on her words rushing together. "And it was so hard because we had no one. He was dead and I hated myself because all I could think about was how hungry I was. And I was so worried I was going to lose my mother and Prim and then I would have no one. But I was so hungry and so scared its weak. Its so weak but I wished I was dead. Everything just hurt so much. It was so selfish. I'm selfish. It's se;fish now to be happy and..."
She broke off and crouched down on her knees, head in hands.
Clove bent down next to her.
"You are not weak. And Katniss you are the least selfish person."
"My father died Clove. And Prim had no one and so did my mother and I wanted to die because I was hungry."
Clove was sick at the thought of it. They always had more than enough to eat in 2. God all the food they just wasted while her Katniss was suffering.
"But you fought for them."
Katniss was silent.
Clove cupped her chin so that Katniss was looking at her.
"You fought for them and they are here now because of you. You protected your mother every day you fought through and didn't give in. You saved Prim's life in the reaping. And you saved me too that day in the arena. And your father would be nothing but proud of you if he was here now. And I gaurantee that where ever he is, he is looking at you and smiling with pride. I'm proud of you, and Prim is, and your mother, how could he not be?"
Katniss looked up at Clove.
"How do you do it? How do you always know exactly what to say?"
Clove smiled softly.
"I don't know. It's just easy with you."
Clove lifted Katniss up and held her tightly to her chest. She stroked her hair and whispered sweet words to her, planting soft kisses on her neck and mouth. Katniss held onto Clove as if she were a life line.
"Don't let me go ever. Please." she whispered
"Never. Just keep holding onto me." Clove said softly
'Don't let go." Katniss repeated.
"I won't if you won't. Deal?" Clove asked gently
"Deal."
