So, I'm back with an update. Thank you to those who read my story and especially those who reviewed. Flashbacks are in Italics.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters belong to Tommy Lynch.
Enjoy!
Good and Broken
I manage to shut the door before it hits. Before the shortness of breath and the pounding in my ears take over. I'm so used to these now that they've become customary, they're just another part of the routine now. The back of my head connects with the door as the pounding grows in volume. These attacks used to be so overwhelming, managing to take over my entire body as they hit, but now they're just predictable. I know when they're on their way even before the first sign shows itself. I can feel my body sliding down the door and headed towards the ground out of instinct. It knows that the shaking comes next. The uncontrollable spasms that leave me spent. As the first tremors hit the fingers on my left hand, the fingers encasing the most important trace of Spencer's, I shut my eyes. I let the darkness of this room completely engulf me.
I don't know why I agree to these things. I swear if she weren't so adorably pathetic when pouting I wouldn't allow her to take advantage of me in this way. But, alas, I am nothing when it comes to the Spencer pout. I become a puddle with it's mere presence. That's exactly why I find myself blindfolded and being led to God knows where.
"You better be naked when these come off or I won't be a happy camper." I say as those very images implant themselves into my mind.
"You know, not everything's about sex."
"Whoever told you that needs to be kicked." After thinking about it for a moment I add on "In the face."
She laughs. "Okay, I'll be sure to tell my mother that." I laugh too. The thought of Paula getting kicked in the face is just too precious.
She suddenly stops me. She turns me to face her and takes a deep breath before reaching around me and undoing the blindfold. Out of nowhere a set of nerves hit me and my eyes close just as she lowers the satin material.
"You can open your eyes now." She says after a minute passes. I know she's smiling, it's so obvious.
I wait another minute before opening my eyes. When they finally come open, I take a look at the girl standing in front of me. I'm drawn to the most beautiful blue eyes to ever exist. She smiles at me as I scan her body. "Damn, I was really hoping for naked Spencer."
Somehow her smile seems to grow. "If you play your cards right, I might be able to make that happen." That, in turn, makes me smile wider.
I take a look around and I can't help the look of confusion that crosses my face. "You brought me to a lake?"
"Yes, but it's not just any lake." She says suggestively and I quirk an eyebrow. "You don't remember." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
I tried to imagine why this lake would be so significant. It wasn't much to look at, it was simply a body of water meeting land, everything around it seemed to be dying or headed in that direction. This place seemed to be nothing special, yet somehow the complete opposite. There was a familiarity of these surroundings. A memory just itching to reach the surface. I had been here before. We had been here before. "At least you're not throwing things at me this time."
The slight frown that begun to grace her features was replaced by a larger than life smile. "Yeah well, you're less annoying now."
"Oh, am I?" She nods. "Come on, you and I both know I was never annoying, you were just smitten with me."
She scans my body, her eyes finally landing on my own before she says. "Clearly." I can't help it when another fit of laughter comes from my lips and as I hear her voice begin to mingle with my own, it only seems to escalate.
"Why did you bring me here?"
She takes a deep breath, most likely ridding herself of the last bits of giggling. "I figured significant moments required significant places, and what's more significant than the place we met?"
I take a step towards her. A slow deliberate step because the distance seems too much. The two feet that once separated us felt like two miles. Now there was barely a centimeter separating me from the most gorgeous girl in the entire world, yet somehow it still doesn't seem to be enough. Her arms go around me instinctively and mine find purchase on her waist. I move my right hand up to her face, brushing a stray hair away before cupping it. I lean forward, pressing my forehead against hers as my thumb draws circles on her cheek. "Nothing could possibly compare to meeting you."
Her hands leave my neck and make their way to her waist, where mine are holding on lightly. She grabs them and laces our fingers together. Taking a step back, she brings our joined hands between us and looks me directly in the eyes. "I'm still kind of hoping to top it."
I can't help but smile. "You can try, but it may not work in your favor."
"Well then…" She trails off as she reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out a small velvet box. "I guess I'll just have to keep trying."
"Spencer-"
"Before you say anything and potentially ruin this moment for me, can I just say what I have to say? Please?" I nod. "I know you think that I'm stealing your thunder here, but I'm not. I'm not proposing. But I am making a promise." She clears her throat. "I get that we're only in high school and naïve…and every other label that people love to put on us and our relationship, but I also get that we're meant to be. We're meant to be more than just some high school fling or…a college convenience. You're my forever and I hope I'm right in thinking I'm yours."
The lump in my throat grows slightly as the first set of tears make their way down my face. I barely recognize my own voice when I hear myself speak. "You are."
"And that's why I'm doing this. Because our relationship means that much. And I promise to never forget that, to never hurt you, or…stop loving you and to always be there, no matter what."
I kiss her. I pull her in and kiss her with all that I have inside me, with every passion and emotion I possess.
The pounding on the door behind me brings me back to reality. When I open my eyes, I'm met with blurry surroundings. I'm still on the floor.
"Ash…Ashley, are you okay?"
I attempt to steady the quiver in my voice. "I'm-" The word comes out strained and barely above a whisper. After the third failed attempt, I lift myself up and open the door. I'm met with a disheveled looking Kyla.
"Hey…"
"Hey! Hey! I've been knocking on the door for the past five minutes and all you have to say to me is hey? What the hell happened in here?"
"Nothing, okay? I'm fine." Even as the words leave my lips, I know they don't hold even a bit of truth, but Kyla won't push. Knowing Kyla she'll just pretend that she believes me.
She bites her bottom lip. "I take it you won't be going tonight."
"Tell Aiden I'm sorry."
"I will. And if you need anything…" She trails off as she shuts the door behind her. She knows better than to stay when I'm in one of these moods. She knows all too well not to push me too far.
I lock my bedroom door before making my way to the closet. Grabbing the camera and tripod that had been placed there earlier, I set them up in their familiar spot and take a seat on the bed. Playing with the remote in my hand, I turn it over and over again before pointing it towards the device and hitting record.
"This isn't how it was supposed to be. We're supposed to be together…and happy. I'm not supposed to be living my life without her." I stop for a moment. As the tears come harder, my hands somehow find their way to my face. "She told me I was her forever. Forever doesn't end. It's just not supposed to."
