Dance Cards: Don't do Drugs

Author: Howlynn
Realm: The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins
Story Title: Dance Cards: Don't do drugs
Summary: We all know in theory what the victors have to do. This is a little Peek into our favorite victor's appointments. Several drabbles and bits – some will be funny, some sad, who knows, maybe both. Rated M - because sex is scarier than death to most people.
Character/Relationships: Finnick and Haymitch – dealing with the small troubles of being a victor in a demanding world. F1 – just funny slash hints and flirting – no lemons

I Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


Finnick is having one of those days. He had completed three appointments of the day, and each was more bizarre than first. He'd taken performance drugs at the last fiasco and it had left him a painful swollen problem. He sits in the victor's lounge, which served as his personal deserted outpost during off season, with his feet propped up and Ice on his groin, watching television with no sound and wishing he could just be dead.

He closes his eyes, trying to keep his mind off his annual nightmare. The capitol throws an end game orgy each year. He seemed to be stuck in the roll of feature presentation to the brutal. They had nearly killed him last year and there had come a point in time that he really hadn't cared. He gave himself a fifty-fifty chance this year. The grand event was slipping forward and Finnick had made himself sick, every time he'd thought about it.

It hadn't been so bad once. He hoped they didn't kill the unfortunate Peeta next year. He wondered if Haymitch had explained it all to those poor kids yet. At least Finnick knew that if he survived this year, next year would be a breeze. Haymitch would be back to protect Katniss and Peeta, and Finnick would maybe get downgraded a few ticks.

He has balanced another pack of ice on his head and is just in that floating space between pain and almost relief. His head is comfortable against the wall, his chair in perfect equilibrium on two legs and the pain pills are kicking in, to almost allow him the nothing of an hour or two of death. Silence and alone is the purest pleasurable sensation Finn knows. Only in silence can he see the sea and her liquid eyes.

"Ah, the sexy life of Finnick Odair. How we envy him, one and all."

"Oh shit!" Finnick hollers as he loses his grip on peaceful death and edges, with crashing and graceless falling, toward actual painful death.

"Well, I knew you would be thrilled to see me, sweetheart, but really, I would settle for a wave and a stiff drink rather than a stiff…'"Haymitch smirks, "Miss me?"

"Shut up, Haymitch. A little help? What are you doing here?" Finn painfully untangles himself from his predicament while Abernathy stands over him smirking. He rolls his pants back over his still unfailing work related injury and stuffs the ice down his pants for good measure.

"Halftime business set up and a dance card filling up, while I am in town. Seven this week so far. A whore's work is never done."

Finn rolls his eyes. "Poor baby. Your pain is heartbreaking. Number four today is in two hours. I thought you got to be a drunken hermit, protector of the damned, these days."

"Well, the kids think that's all I do. They don't really feel the protective part, I'm afraid. But, if I was injured or missing and counting on a little help from the team on fire, I would die of old age before the girl would find me. Peeta could, if Katniss wasn't on a mission to kill him with anguish of the not speaking to him kind. They won't even miss me. Even this is more fun than they have been. They are both a pain in the ass, if you asked me," Haymitch says with disgust.

Finnick eases himself back into his chair with the grunts and groans of an old man. "Yeah, these new victors just seem different. Last year's managed to survive what, three weeks past his tour. Poor kid. The whole Juliette routine? Why did she bother with it? Why all the fuss if she is just going to ignore him?"

"She's mad about him. She's also the most obtuse, selfish, cruel thing I have ever seen, for a girl her age. She is worse than you. Arrogant as a hog." Haymitch sips the drink he's poured.

"Were you by any chance capitalizing on your victory with a certain girl's mama?"

Haymitch snorts, "Not when she actually showed up, I wasn't. Left me for her husband. "

Finnick laughs. "But you admit that…" he pauses and winks, "She has your scowl, you know."

There is a silent pause then Haymitch snorts a gruff laugh and says, "I know, but she's still a pain in the ass." Haymitch's eyes shine a little. He side-glances Finnick watching his reaction to his long held secret. One corner of his mouth slides just far enough to pull a dimple out of long term storage at Finnick trying to hide his shock. He sighs.

Finn doesn't laugh, but the events of the last games certainly take on new light. "That explains a few things. So, we have two sticks in the mud for the merrymaking. It's the revolt of Calamity Clueless and her mournful sidekick, Doughboy. Think it's going to work?" Finn asks, trying to keep the hope out of his eyes. Haymitch's revolt plans are about the only thing that keeps him in the world now.

He can't keep going, if this is all there is. Haymitch and his insanity have allowed Finnick Odair the tiny hope of someday. It is a someday filled with Annie alone, demanding his body, and making love instead of surviving sex. Haymitch had saved his life so many times he'd lost count. If Abernathy's rebellion fails, he would accept his punishment, and hope the way he'd ignored Annie for some time would convince them that she was no longer of any concern. He hoped. It was all he had left. Mags, Annie, Johanna and Haymitch were the only things that mattered enough for him to keep breathing.

"Trust me, sweetheart," Haymitch smirks and looks right at Finns crotch before returning to his eyes. "Are you going to put that thing away or are you trying to seduce me, Finn? It's working by the way."

Finn rolls his eyes. "Business hours, Hot Rocks. No can do. Must save the merchandise for the window. "

Haymitch shrugs. "Amateur. Change your mind let me know. Good to see you keep the commodities fresh and iced down for them. Oh, and I told you a month ago not to mix Smiling Bob with The Shine , you'd end up with a mess like that. Never seen anyone in my life who can get himself into more chemical enhancement disasters. You can blow your product out, you know. You won't like the consequences of that. " Haymitch reaches in his pocket and takes out a package. "Take this, drink three glasses of baking soda water, and try heat, instead of ice."

Finnick shrugs. "Thanks, Hay. I don't mean to…you know," he pauses, " I think he's finally found his way to torture me to death. Have you heard about this year's party?" he looks up at his friend with resolve. "I don't expect I can help you much. I may not be here," his voice is quiet and disheartened.

"I have heard, Finn. I have your wing. Why I flew in, to keep you safe from the scary monsters." Haymitch winks and spins to leave. "Dinner tonight, Crab-bucket. You don't want to offend your fairy-godfather."

"Haymitch! Hay…Thank you," Finn says eyes wide in relief. Haymitch just waves as if it is no big deal as he pushes open the glass door of the victors lounge. He watches Haymitch stroll up the grand hall with his sexy amble that Finn had never quite perfected. Haymitch is here. The party in question had resulted in a hospital stay for the last two years. Haymitch hadn't taken a party in the last three years, but he flew in, all the way from District 12 oblivion, to give him some hope of a damage free event.

Once Haymitch is out of sight, Finn breaks down and cries. Haymitch came all this way for him. Finnick realizes that it has been a long time since he felt so good. His last appointment isn't so bad. He heads home, grins in the shower, and dresses up in his own favorite cloths. Haymitch hobbles into the foyer. Finn rushes to the door in concern. Haymitch knocks loud on Finnick's door before he realizes Finn is already undoing the locks.

Finn grins as he opens the door. "Damned, you've been all this time on one appointment? What happened?"

"Not only did Mrs. Augustus have Smiling Bob and a large dose of The Shine in my dessert, she added it to my liqueur. I handed you the antidote. Let me in, before I die," Haymitch huffs.

Finnick laughs from deep in his belly. He helps Haymitch to a cushy chair. "Do you think she knew what would happen if she overdosed you on that?"

Haymitch growled as Finnick brought him an ice pack. "I must be rusty. Can't believe she tricked me."

"I know you said heat. But trust me on the cool first. Here I brought you the Bi-carb too. However we are both off the clock now. If you're trying to seduce me, Hot rocks, it's working." Finn leaned over the chair staring into the gray eyes that only appeared hard to people who didn't look deep enough.

Haymitch rattles the box of pills. He looks Finn up and down and tosses the pills on the table for now. "Come here, you pathetic guppy. Dinner can wait. I have a sweet tooth right now." Haymitch pulls Finn down into his lap and for now, this moment; there is comfort in being a victor.


AN – Hay and fin F1

I named my fake capital enhancement drug after the best commercial ever—no not really – and a monster book by the same name.

Eventually there will be a slashy of Haymitch's 'victor training camp' with Finnick. But I have gotten a few requests that I will work on next.

I have been asked if I think everyone is gay-bi –etc. My motive for victors to have no boundaries is the fact that they have been capitol slaves for many years. Fun as that is – in canon Finnick admitted he was sold to both men and women. Now in my little pea brain – those barriers are broken by experience so they have learned to watch out for each other. One duty I often mention for Haymitch is that he has 'victor training camp' – he extends his knowledge and kindness to new victors so that their plight will have some degree of survivability. People who work in the oldest profession – do have tricks and techniques different from amateurs in pursuit of this hobby. Even 'Players' are often a wealth of very enlightening information. So in this training period, Haymitch does bond with some of them and he himself has found some measure of acceptance and comfort in his little lambs. (He has mixed feelings about what he does for them – he saves them from slaughter, but the lives they gain may or may not be worth the horror – his isn't. Is he helping or prolonging suffering?)

For the – why would they want to have sex when they are forced all the time? Well, think of it like this – at work it is just a physically demanding job – like loading and unloading a truck. Everyone craves love and kindness – they don't see that at work. At the same time – who, but each other, would want them? They can't promise any monogamous commitment to anyone and if they do love – it is just something else Snow can hold against them and eventually take. I imagine victors would be a very close knit bunch – that's my take…thanks so much for reading and reviewing.