A/N: Thank you so much for the kind reviews: unheardcries, Nunna, guest, Yuzuki Inohara, anon, and KurosakiCrystal18. They made my day! Just to let you guys know, I'm not one for super fast romance stories, so this might go a little slow at first. After I put those two through the wringer a few times, they are going to need some to to recoup...eeep. I'm saying too much!

I haven not had a chance to look over it yet, so please feel free to point out any of my mistakes.

Now here's the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. Though, I do own the DVDs...


I try to make it through my life,

but in my way, there's you.

Semper Memor

Stage 2

"Hey, Suzaku."

Suzaku rolled his head over and mumbled an incoherent word or two before blissfully falling back into a quiet slumber.

"Suzaku, wake up." A pair of hands lightly shook his shoulders, trying to wake the sleeping boy. But instead of waking him, he got welcomed with a hand in his face shooing him away. The hand promptly returned to its position next to his sleeping friend's head.

"You're not making this easy for me," the voice, which belonged to his roommate Gino Weinberg, sighed. Footsteps could be heard exiting the room, and seconds later, they re-entered. "You can't say I didn't try."

Cold water came crushing down onto Suzaku's head then, his head shooting up, confused yet angry eyes scanning for the culprit. They set on the only person in the room. Gino.

"What was that for?!" Suzaku asked furiously. His once messy brown locks were now sleek straight and dripping. His plain white shirt now clung to his chest, and much to Gino's amusement, showed off his muscles rather nicely.

"Your essay is wet," Gino pointed out as he picked up the piece of paper off the mahogany desk. "You were doing a paper on William Shakespeare's "The Tempest"?"

"My essay!" He took the paper from Gino's grasp only to rip it in half while doing so. Suzaku's eyes widened, his expression unreadable.

Gino let out a small laugh, amused. "Anyway, you should probably get cleaned up. I'm having some people over."

That essay took him hours to finish, and it only took a minute for it to be completely ruined. Why did Mr. Gottwald want them to write the damn thing and not type it? Suzaku briefly rubbed his temples as if trying to ease his pain and irritation away.

"Whose coming over?" Suzaku asked as shook his head, water flying around in every direction. He picked up the half of his essay and squinted his eyes, hoping and praying that some of it was still readable. The ink was already bleeding.

He wanted to go back to sleep.

"Just a few friends from class. You know Kallen Kozuki, right?" Suzaku didn't see the way Gino's eyes lit up as he mentioned the girl.

"Yeah, I think she's in my English class." The thought to blow-dry his essay and tape it back together crossed his mind. Would his teacher accept it like that?

"She's coming over with a few friends of hers."

His essay was no longer legible. His shoulders sunk at the thought of having to re-write it.

"Does she know you're bisexual?" Suzaku glanced up a Gino, attention finally off of his ruined essay.

"Heh. About that..."

"You better tell her, Gino. Remember the last time you kept that hidden?"

"I know, I know." He waved off Suzaku's warning.

"I'm going to go take a shower. Then I think I'm going to that 24 hour convenient store up the street." More notebook paper for that stupid essay. "Do you need anything?"

A smirk formed on Gino's lips.

Suzaku rolled his eyes, but couldn't help from grinning himself. "No, I'm not picking you up any porn."


Suzaku hated fall.

He pushed his hands into his sweatshirt in a feeble attempt to try and warm his already freezing cold hands. It was getting close to midnight, the temperature dropped considerably compared to earlier in the day. He would had fared the cold better with a jacket.

The convenient store was within sight now. The light-up open sign flickered on and off as he passed by and pulled the door open.

The ring of the door signaling a customer had come went off, and Suzaku gave a quick smile to the cashier who in turn smiled back.

"A Notebook and..." an energy drink, he added in his head. Since Gino decided to pour water all over him and his essay, he'd need an energy drink or two to stay up and finish it. He was surprised he wasn't as mad at his roommate as he thought he would be. Then again, with everything that had happened in the past week, he was most likely numb to it.

He spotted a shelf of journals, notebooks, paper, and a row of writing utensils.

Perfect.

His eyes scanned the price tags. He needed something small and cheap; his paycheck being a little less than usual for the week. "Now which one should I get..."

A pair of hands reached out in front of him and grabbed a slim, green notebook. "Here."

Suzaku gazed up, green eyes meeting violet. Oh, he was here. "Thanks, I guess."

"It's the cheapest and has the most paper, that is what you were looking for, right?" Lelouch held out the notebook for Suzaku to grab, no emotions showing on his face, but the know-it-all attitude was still there.

"Right." Suzaku stared at Lelouch's hand for a second, his mind drifting back to the first time he met Lelouch back in high school. It was a similar situation to this one, so similar, in fact, it gave him goosebumps.

He shook his head, dispersing any more thoughts on the subject. He took the notebook and turned to leave, but stopped at the sound of his voice.

"Is this how it's going to be?"

Suzaku whirled around, half expecting to have imagined up the words he just heard. Yet Lelouch still stood there, and for the first time in a long time, Suzaku felt his heart stop and a light blush creep up. After all the years of practically acting disgusted in his presence, here was his old best friend bringing up the one event that tore their friendship apart.

Or what ever it was they had.

After all the time he had to bring it up, why now?

"Lelouch-"

"Suzaku!" A female voice cried out. "What are you doing? I thought you were suppose to be at the party?"

He didn't even need to turn to see who the voice belonged to.

Euphemia li Britannia.

"Euphy," he drawled," is there something you needed?"

She tilted her head to the side, ever so slightly, with a disconcerted expression. "I just came to pick up a couple things." She smiled sweetly, pushing pink strands of hair away from her eyes. "Oh, Lelouch, hello!"

Suzaku stiffened at the sound of his name, and for a moment, almost forget he was there.

"Euphemia," he acknowledged. His voice was friendly enough, his eyes yielding no hint of distaste. But Suzaku knew better, he could see how Lelouch's grip tightened around the water in his hand.

She was half the reason Lelouch disliked Suzaku, and in turn, half the reason Suzaku disliked Lelouch and despised himself. Her bubbly, carefree personality was enough to enrapture anyone. Anyone who had an interest in woman, anyway.

"Are you guys going to Gino's dorm together?" she questioned. She was either oblivious to the problems going on around her, or just preferred to ignore their presence.

Lelouch visibly paled at the inquisition, but it lasted only a moment, his facade back in place as quickly as it had fell. "No, I have to go back home and take care of Nunnally."

She beamed at the mention of Lelouch's sister. "How is she doing? I'd love to come and see her sometime."

"She would like that."

"It was nice to see you, Lelouch. Please, don't be a stranger!" Euphy then wrapped her arm around Suzaku's and snuggled in close, grinning up at him. "Let's go and surprise everyone."

He tried to slip out of her grasp, but couldn't find a way to get away without being rude. He looked over at Lelouch. "Ah, see you later."

Lelouch slightly nodded, his only assurance that he had heard Suzaku.

The walk home was filled with the pink-haired female chatting about old times they had together, mostly of when they were dating. She wasn't hiding the fact that she still had feelings for him, on the contrary, she wanted him to know. But no matter what she said, he wasn't focused on her. His mind was still on Lelouch, on the words he was starting to think he only imagined.

Is this how it's going to be?


He managed to sneak away from Euphy as soon as he got back to the dorm, mentioning the English paper he had to finish. She had pouted, but let him go.

He sighed in relief.

Suzaku was too nice, and still too attached to tell her to go away for good. Every time he looked at her - thought about her - he saw the person he wished he could be. He hated his self-loathing person, the part of him that always wanted and expected the worse. It was his own messed up way of punishing himself for all the wrong he had ever done.

But being with her was a lie. His feelings for her fabricated, weaved into a web of lies he chose to hide himself in.

False, fake, substitute feelings.

After being caught with her that day, it was just so easy to go along with the lie. Even if in the end, even if some feelings did come out of it, they still weren't real, and no matter how he wanted them to be, they never could be.

He hated the person he'd become.

That's why he hated Lelouch; he hated him for making him turn into some kind of monster.

But where there was hate, love was never far behind. The two walked hand in hand.

Suzaku sat at the edge of his bed, vacant jade staring off into the darkness outside his window. His hand found its way to the cold glass, his finger drawing lines in the light fog that glazed over the window until the lines disappeared, the fog swallowing it up once again.

Suzaku took in a deep breath and fell back onto his bed. He really didn't want to re-write that paper.


It was a mistake.

He knew he shouldn't of done it; he knew the consequences would be too great. But he wasn't thinking, taken by the moment.

And now he was making another mistake.

He wrapped his arms around the petite, pink-haired girl, pulling her closer to his body. She was warm - so warm - and he couldn't get enough. He pressed his lips against hers again, and to his surprise, she complied and deepened the kiss, hands finding their way to his back.

This was wrong and he knew it, but the feeling of another body pressed up against his own... it felt so good.

He needed this.

That's what he kept telling himself. He broke himself free from her grasp and looked into her eyes, searching, searching for something he couldn't quite place.

But whatever he was searching for, he wan't going to find it. Not in her.

As she pulled his lips in for another kiss, all of his other thoughts ceased to exist- they didn't matter anymore. Only three little words played in his mind now.

He needed this. He needed this.


Getting to some plot. Sort of. Still not as long as I was hoping, but this seemed like a good place to stop.
And to answer your question, KurosakiCrystal18, this is not a one-shot. :D But yes, when I finally finished Code Geass, I could not stop watching that video! A very complex relationship indeed.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!

Till next time!