Thank you to itsallinmyhead for pointing out the link wasn't working. This should work now crashhaleffart(dot)weebly(dot)com/broken-place(dot)html
And thank you to my good friend ReneeFF for not only editing but everything else too. She knows she means a lot to me. Hope you guys enjoy the next chapter.
Chapter 2
Jake comes by almost every shift I have for the next couple of weeks, but he doesn't ask me out again. He just smiles, orders his drink, and thanks me. He's probably right not to ask me out again. I'm not the kind of girl that's ideal for dating.
I can't help feeling disappointed though. I want him to ask me out again, and I want to say yes and spend some time pretending to be normal. I want to know everything about him. I've spent most of my days thinking and wondering what it would be like - what he's like.
After almost a month of fantasizing, I'm just pissed off. Who the hell is this guy to get my hopes up and make me feel like a horrible person? I was fine before he asked me out, I didn't want for any man, now I'm aching for one - wondering if having someone hold me could feel good again.
In my bad mood, I rush to get ready for work and pack a few things in Mila's bag. I don't realize Jasper's called my cell until Mom comes into my room and asks why I'm ignoring his calls.
"I'm not," I frown and she hands me the house phone.
"Jazz?" I answer, grabbing my cell phone out of my bag to see I did have a bunch of missed calls. "Sorry, I was busy, didn't hear my phone."
"It's fine. Listen, we can't take Mila tonight... It's just not good for us."
"Oh." I frown and look at Mila who's playing on the floor, "That's okay, I'll ask Mom."
"Don't bother Mom and Dad again," he huffs and I can hear the annoyance in his voice. I know he and Alice had another fight because of me, otherwise she'd be calling me instead.
"Again?" I want to cry and swing my fist into the wall at the same time. "What am I supposed to do? Take Mila with me?"
"Being a parent means your kid comes first, Rose."
I am so sick of him judging me, but I appreciate his help so much that I will never say a bad word to him. He doesn't deserve my anger.
"Bye, Jazz." I finish the conversation and hang up before I say something I will regret.
I sigh as I look at Mila and dread asking Mom to look after her. It's hardly ever pretty.
As expected she gives me a lecture about how I'd be out of luck if she had something else to do tonight but finally agrees last minute, making me late to work.
I'm in a worse mood than I've been in a long time and I beg Jason to take Jake's order when he comes in. I can't deal with talking to him now.
My shift is long and tiring and all I want to do is go home to pass out on my bad.
"Rose?"
"What?" I'm shocked when I turn around and see Jake.
He smiles and backs up with a smirk, "Wow, you're kinda scary when you're in a bad mood."
"Then I'd definitely stay away from me tonight if I were you." I expect him to listen to me and leave but he continues smirking.
"Maybe I can't stay away any longer."
I raise my eyebrows in question. "Really?"
"Are you mad I didn't ask you out again?" he asks with amusement.
I put on an act as I pretend that's not at all the case. "My bad mood isn't because some guy doesn't ask me out after he says he will."
"Well, some guy is asking you now... Can I drive you home?"
"I was always told not to get into a stranger's car." Although I am highly tempted to say fuck it to my current lifestyle and live a different life with him, even in a short car ride home.
"How about we walk then?"
I think about it for a second. It's safer than a car ride, if that's really what I'm worried about. "You don't have to." My bad mood dissolves at the realization that I'm suddenly a little shy in front of this gorgeous man.
"I really want to."
We don't talk much on the short walk. By the time we're outside of my parents house, he makes me promise to tell him when I'm free for a date. For some reason, too selfish and horrible for me to admit, I don't tell him that I'm never free. I'm a mom and it's my job twenty four seven for the rest of my life. He gives me his cell phone number and asks me to call or text him sometime, and he'll make himself available.
A few days later Alice is freaking out that I didn't tell her Jake walked me home. She quickly remembers that Jasper is going to a buddy's poker game next week and tells me she'll watch Mila and we'll tell my parents that we three girls are just hanging out at her place.
It's the perfect plan, since Alice and I usually do that when Jasper goes out anyway. Jake and I text each other until we figure out what we're doing. He's going to pick me up from Alice's at eight thirty and we're going to see a drive-in movie and grab some food at a drive through. I like the plan because I don't want to do anything with too many people around.
Mila plays while Alice makes me try on seventeen different outfits she's arranged. A lot of them are way too dressy so I finally convince her to let me wear the skinny jeans and floral print shirt. I wear black flats and a sweater to match. I'm suddenly extremely nervous.
"What's wrong?" Alice asks as she folds a pair of jeans.
I look at Mila. "I didn't tell him." I confess.
Alice doesn't need me to explain. "You should, but do it when you're ready... If he's a good guy he won't mind."
I nod, but I'm scared he will. I don't want Jake to be the kind of guy that considers me having a child a deal breaker.
The doorbell rings and my mouth gets dry. "Go." She tells me with a wink.
I grab my handbag, kiss Mila goodbye and quickly rush downstairs.
Jake's in a black t-shirt and dark jeans, looking like a male model. I feel horrible, and definitely not good enough.
"Wow, you look amazing." He smiles brightly. "You ready to get going?"
I look back into the house before I step out and close the door. If I was a good person, I would have introduced him to my daughter who was right inside.
"Yeah, let's go." I bite my lip when he gently places his hand on my mid-back and leads me to his car. I'm quiet as he opens the door for me and then walks to his side and begins to drive. I don't know much about cars, but I know this one is nice.
I feel so out of place. I don't know what to do on dates. I've never really been on a real one.
"You okay?"
"I'm kind of nervous," I admit, feeling silly.
He laughs and nods, "Me too. It's not every day I get to take you out."
I look at him and he shrugs. "Let's just decide right now not to be nervous." He suggests.
"It's hard when it's the first date." I already hope there's a second.
"We should pretend we've just known each other for ages. Nothing new." He winks as we pass my parents house. I hold my breath and feel dread coursing through me. I have to tell him. I don't want to be this person. I'm not a liar.
"We should probably talk more than we did on that walk, huh? ... Tell me about your day?" He asks.
I turn to look at him as he drives. The lights from lamps and other cars enhance his stunning features and I feel as though I can see his soul. I can see he's kind and caring, and deserves more than I'm giving right now.
"Jake?"
He smiles and glances at me. "How do you make my name sound so good?"
I glance down with shyness.
"Yes, Rose?" he continues. He makes my name sound good too.
"I should have told you..."
I look at him again as he stops at a light and gives me an encouraging smile. "What's that?"
I decide to just blurt it out. "I'm... I have a daughter." I brace myself for the part where the whole date turns to shit and he only continues it to not be an asshole by taking me home right away.
"I know." He says instead.
I sit shocked for a second.
"I mean... people talk. I don't listen but I figured they wouldn't make up that you had a daughter if she didn't actually exist."
My heart sinks when I think of all the things he might have heard about me. I want to be a fresh, untouched canvas in his eyes. I want him to see me the way I want to be painted. There went that.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you... I don't really know why it was hard... Guess I just wanted to be normal for once... That's horrible, isn't it?"
"No, Rose. Besides, you told me two minutes into our first date. It's not like I deserved to know anything about you before tonight..."
He must be able to tell that I'm worried because he rubs my knee. It's oddly not awkward at all and I don't mind his touch. "Really, don't worry; no one said anything bad about you."
"Why are they talking about me then?" It is something that always eats at me, but I never admit to. I just want to be left alone. I don't bother any of them. I guess I am just something to gossip about.
"Because they know I'm interested in you. I was wondering if you were with anyone, so I asked."
"Oh... I'm totally free." I tell him, feeling so inexperienced with all this.
"Lucky me."
I can't help but smile widely and it feels so amazing; butterflies and all.
"Here we are... I love this place."
I love movies, so this is always a fun place to come. Jake finds us a spot after he pays to enter and we both step out to go grab a snack.
"You come here a lot?"
"Not as much as I'd like. Maybe we can make it a regular?" He suggests.
I nod and stop myself from gasping when he takes my hand while we walk like it's not a big deal. I like it. My hand's never felt so safe. His hold is warm and secure and I lean slightly into him on the walk.
"That would be nice." I suddenly picture us as two people who have regulars. We'd come see movies here, and as Mila grew, she'd come along too. It was such a distant dream; one I'd left behind.
I used to drown in sorrow; wishing things were different with Emmett. I stopped that when I realized how stupid it was. I am not about to go back to that spot. I had to be realistic. Reality is that Jake and I were on our first date, maybe it would be our one and only.
"What do you like?" He asks.
I look at the list. "Water ice?"
His beautiful smile grows. "Red flavor or blue... Yes I heard myself call colors flavors." He rolls his eyes.
I smile. "Red."
He orders two and I can't help but feel special when he holds my hand on the way back.
"So tell me all about your daughter. Bet she's awesome, huh?"
I'm scared that me not telling him means I am ashamed of her. It wasn't her I was ashamed of.
"Her name's Mila. She's sweet, perfect, funny, crazy," I laugh. "I can't even... I can't explain how important she really is to me. She's my world, and I feel kind of... I don't know, not good enough. I mean, I got her and she got me. She's everything that's good and I'm... I'm sorry. This is too deep for first date talk."
He shakes his head, "I bet you're an amazing mom. It's probably not something anyone ever feels perfect at... I'm glad you're telling me this."
"Do you always know what to say?"
He laughs. "I'm not just saying it. I mean it."
"Thank you... Should we tune into the movie?"
"Yeah. Tell me more later?"
I nod. The movie plays and we make up our own dialogue, laughing and joking around. Afterwards we pick up some food at a drive through and Jake parks at a beautiful cliff overlooking the beach. It's close to the reservation, if not on it.
"Do you live here? On the reservation, I mean?" I wonder, sipping on my drink.
"Kind of... But no."
I frown in question. I feel so much more comfortable now. Jake may look intimidating, but he's really sweet and down to earth.
"What do you mean? Do you have two homes?"
"Yeah actually. My dad is disabled and when my mom died I got put into foster care. I was eleven."
"Oh, I'm so sorry about your mom, that must have been hard."
"Yeah, it was hard to leave my dad too, he was so broken hearted. But, my foster mom is great; we kept in touch with my dad, I got to see him all the time, and we helped him out a lot. As I got older, I just got used to going back and forth between the two."
"Your foster mom sounds incredible."
"She is. She never had kids, and never got the opportunity to adopt so when I came along she put all her focus into raising me. And trust me I didn't always make it easy."
"Where you a trouble maker?" I smile. I can totally see him as a hand full when he was younger.
He smiles also and places his cup down.
"Are you still a trouble maker?" I laugh.
"You could get me into a lot of trouble." His voice is low and sexy and I can't help feeling light headed. I want nothing more than for him to kiss and touch me, but I'm nervous.
I swallow instead of asking him what he means, and lean in towards him when he does the same.
I look down at his full lips and the light stubble along his jaw. His hand reaches up and pushes my hair aside. Right before his lips meet mine, my eyes close and I let the soft, gentle kiss wash over me. My whole body gets tingly and it's as though the short moment is in slow motion.
I smile when we pull slightly apart and look into each others eyes. His are dark and it feels as though I'm the only one who's ever been looked at by him this way.
He smiles back, using his hand behind my neck to draw me back in. This time the kiss deepens and we both moan as we taste each other. It's as though I've never been kissed, it's so much more exciting then it's ever been.
I completely forget about my uneaten food and the amazing view. This is so much better.
His large but gentle hands caress my face, neck, and shoulders. Once I'm a little more relaxed I reach over to touch him too. I place one hand on his shoulder and the other over his chest. His heart is beating as hard and as fast as mine. I want him to press me up against him so I can feel his heart against mine, but I'm still on guard and know that I have to take this slow.
I moan when I pull back slowly, and he smiles. He's so beautiful.
We finally eat and talk about different things. I find out his birthday is January fourteenth, and his favorite color is blue, at which point he tells me my eyes are beautiful. I blush and thank him. I never want this to end.
Jake pulls up in front of Jasper and Alice's house two hours later and shuts off the car. He's about to get out when I stop him. He gives me a questioning look but stays put.
"My brother doesn't exactly know I went out."
"He's home?"
"Yeah," I glance at his truck is in the driveway, "I stay here a lot of the time when his wife is looking after Mila."
He nods in understanding. "I'll just wait until you're inside then."
I smile my thanks.
"We can do this again soon, right?" He asks as he reaches over and takes my hand.
"I'd love to."
"Let me know when?"
"Of course,"
He leans in to give me another kiss. It' short but sweet and leaves me happy.
"I should get inside." I sigh.
He smiles and nods. I want to spend the rest of the night making out with him but I know better.
I walk around to the side door and take my shoes off before I enter. Flats don't make the same amount of noise that high heels do but I don't want to risk waking Jasper. I know he's passed out on my usual spot; the couch.
I bite my lip and slowly sneak past him and upstairs into Alice and Jasper's room. Alice is awake, as I knew she would be. She puts down her iPad and grins at me.
I can't help but grin back, quickly changing into my pajamas and cuddling into the warm blankets.
"So," she says excitedly. "Was it amazing?"
I cover my face with my hands, feeling my cheeks burn up. "So amazing." I mumble.
"Did he kiss you?"
I nod and peek at her through my fingers. "He's a really good kisser. I still feel all hot."
"Want a minute alone?" she jokes.
"Ew, Alice, no."
She laughs and we spend hours talking about romance. It's amazing and I want to feel this way all the time.
