Gators – Chapter Two

Suddenly, an odd sound registered in Mr Giggles's ears. It was kind of a ...splashing sound, a pattering sound...
"Oh, bother. I've left the washing out and it's started to rain!" whined the office clerk.
Eureka! A solution. Mr Giggles promptly stripped off his clothes and leapt out onto the balcony stark naked. He danced around joyfully in the thunderstorm.
"David, David, it's a sign from the Heavens! I'm coming for you!"

He was now sodden wet and had no way to dry himself. He went back inside before he could catch a cold. He didn't want to be sneezing in his love's face. He wanted to make the best impression he was capable of. Which wasn't the best if he were to be honest.
How was he going to get dry? He thought through his options again, and the only alternative he could think of was rolling around on the carpet like a drugged dog.

Other workers in the office began to gather round in a circle surrounding Mr Giggles. It was a peculiar sight - a chubby, middle-aged man rolling around on the carpet, stark naked and whispering words of love to himself. Eventually the man stood up, confused as to why there were so many people now watching him. He felt quite proud to have an audience. These people must be so impressed by him - hopefully David would be too!
"Well? What are you waiting for?" He looked at the office clerk from before. "Bring me some fresh clothes!"
The office clerk nervously ran off to the laundry on the same floor and brought back a dashing suit that was unfortunately a few sizes too small. However, Mr Giggles wasn't in the frame of mind to notice such trivial things. He squeezed himself into the suit, only popping a few buttons and stitches along the way.

It was time to get this show on the road! He hurried back down into the basement. He was so full of excitement that he tripped down the last stair and fall planted. His nose ached in immense pain and he was pretty sure it was turning bright red.
Mr Giggles had never had such bad luck before. Even when Carmen and Juni Cortez stopped him from taking over the world that time or other.

Oh well, he thought. He could tell his beloved that it was a battle wound he gained in a fight to the death against a tiger. Of course David would believe him. He would be so happy to be pulled from his dreary world into this new exciting one, and would see Mr Giggles as a dashing hero. This would only add to his charm.

His machine was ready for the testing. He realised that he hadn't come up with a name for it yet. His mind raced over all the possible names he could call his new creation. Just calling it 'the machine that brought fictional characters to life' was a bit of a mouth full and abbreviating it seemed silly.
Almost getting himself into a headache he had finally come up with a name. It would be called Delorpatrix machine.
The most exotic machine to ever be invented, by the most exotic man ever to have been born.

His heart told him to sprint down to the basement, but luckily his head intervened and decided that he should walk instead so that he didn't rip his clothes or break out into a sweat. Being slightly unfit since his retirement, he still broke out in a sweat, but it really wasn't too drastic and it would probably add to his new tiger killing tough guy image.
On the way down the stair, he saw a copy of Twilight lying on somebody's desk. He paused to stare at it. "I suppose... it would be a good idea to test the machine first." He grabbed the copy of the book and also went into the store room to grab and axe, a tank of gasoline and a box of matches. They kept plenty of those kinds of objects in the store rooms. See, Mr Giggles had seen the Twilight movie because he had a bit of a crush on the dude who played Bella's dad, so he knew how to kill that awful Edward vampire if his machine was successful.
Mr Giggles continued on his journey then eventually reached the basement. He deadlocked the door, took off his shoes, paused to be confused as to why he took off his shoes, put one of his shoes back on, removed his glasses, tripped over his other shoe, put his glasses back on so he could see, put the copy of Twilight into the machine, took it out again, put it back in again, started to cry, started to laugh like a maniac, choked on his tears and laughter, slapped himself across the face because he didn't have an assistant to do so, pulled himself together, and then pulled the lever on the machine.

The lever snapped in half. Mr Giggles screamed in frustration. Oh, but he was too clever for his Delorpatrix invention. He knew something like this would happen so he installed a red emergency button in case the lever failed to cooperate with him.
"I don't like levers anymore," he growled.
He brought back his fist and violently punched the big red button into the machine.
Lights started blinking and the machine suddenly rose up into the air. It rocked and rolled and did a few somersaults and cart wheels. It was playing loud irritating carnival music at full blast. It wouldn't stop. The racket was driving him insane. Even more than usual. But soon it finally ended.
He signed in relief. He was too busy freaking out that he realized he had collapsed on the floor and was hugging the leg of the desk table madly.

He was a total mess. He was swimming in a puddle of his own sweat. Before he could get up the door opened wide and Edward Cullen stepped into the room. Mr Giggles went ballistic as he tripped and stumbled off of the ground to retrieve his axe.

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU FILTHY, SPARKLING CLEAN BLOOD SUCKING WELL DRESSED CREEP!" Mr Giggles swung wildly at the creature with his axe.
"Well, I must say, we do not need to resort to this kind of savagery, good man!"
"** off."
Edward began leaping around the room, bouncing off the walls and leaving glitter wherever he touched. Mr Giggles had no chance in catching him, until Edward made a fatal mistake. He leapt up so high that his shirt got caught in the ceiling fan and he was stuck, swinging around the room.
"You're screwed now, Sparklepants."
Mr Giggles threw gasoline up over Edward, and threw a match on him.
"Aaaah! My designer clothes!"
Mr Giggles let the vampire burn up into a pile of ashes, and then began to carefully chop the ashes up. He scooped them up and put them in his pocket as a souvenir. He now knew for sure that his machine worked.

It was time to meet his beloved.
In the machine went the book. In the power board went cable. In his head went what was left of his brain.
He was ready!
He pushed the big red button and up flow his invention. It somersaulted and cart wheeled just as it had before and played its irritating carnival music. He would have to fix that. The Delorpatrix machine smashed to the ground with a thunderous thud. Mr Giggles realised just how much he must have been freaking out previously because he hadn't heard that thunderous thud before. Maybe he was losing his hearing. He wouldn't be surprised. He was having a rather miserable day.
But that was about to change.
The door opened.
"My heavens. Where the jumping jacks am I?"

To be continued.

A/N: Still bored and still dorky, we managed to finish the second chapter! Hope you enjoyed it!

~ By aurorstorm and ZeIllusionoftheNight