Author's note: Sorry about the confusion . . . the only description I can come up for for this is a multi-chapter one-shot. It is done, though, except for the epilogue, so I'll be giving you a chapter every day or two.
Disclaimer still stands.
"I really can't believe you lost him." Sideswipe stood looking at Thomas and Epps as the two men reentered the main hangar.
Epps ignored him, speaking instead to the human medic. "I checked the house. He's not there."
"I've been all through this place." Thomas replied. "No sign of him."
Ratchet's form materialized from the darkness, stepping into the lights of the main hangar. "Not in my quarters or the Junkyard."
"Biological sensors outside came up with zilch." Sideswipe put in. He let that paranoia manifest itself in his circuits again. "You don't think he's been kidnapped?"
Epps gave him an incredulous look. "We've got the best defense network known to human-kind set up around this place."
"More than likely, the colonel woke up disoriented and wandered off." Thomas spoke up. "It's not unheard of."
"Did you guys fall asleep? Or let him walk past you?" Sideswipe was getting irritated now.
Epps was matching him, though. "Don't get bitchy with me. Doped or not, if Lennox hadn't made it with the Rangers, he coulda been a freakin' ninja."
Sideswipe couldn't argue that point. Despite being an All-American good guy, the colonel was a slick guy. He could out-maneuver and out-think just about anyone, human or Cybertronian. It was one of Lennox's attributes that made Sideswipe admire him early on. He understood.
Even still, "So, as we speak, he could be out in the middle of the desert being eaten by coyotes?"
"I doubt it." Nothing ever ruffled Thomas. Even big, paranoid mother-hens. "I don't think he could walk that far."
"Could he have taken one of the Humvees?" Ratchet asked, concerned.
"While he's high?" Epps replied. "I think we'd have heard about that from someone by now."
There was the rush of a powerful engine and Optimus's alt-mode rolled into the hangar through the large bay doors. With the release of his airbrakes, the Autobot commander stopped and began to transform. After a couple of seconds, Prime stood tall, a slightly concerned look on his plates.
"No luck, Boss Bot?" Epps asked.
"No." Prime answered. "Where haven't we searched?"
"We could go door-to-door. But I doubt that would make us popular with the base staff." Ratchet looked to Sideswipe. "You scanned for his biological signature everywhere?"
"Everywhere. Except in here."
"Why not in here?"
"Because Epps and Thomas were searching in here." Sideswipe came back snippily.
"But we're not equipped with biological sensors." Thomas came back. "Especially ones completely attuned to Colonel Lennox."
"Yeah, we like him and all." Epps was looking at him, amused. "But we ain't his babysitter."
"Or his mother."
Sideswipe gave both of the smirking humans a glare. He declined to dignify their teasing with comment and simply redirected energy to his biosensors. They immediately hit on Lennox's familiar vital signs. The colonel was right behind them.
The mech turned and looked to where his sensors were directing him. The only thing there was the Autobot couch and the smaller version for the humans. It was fairly obvious Lennox wasn't on the human couch.
With two strides, Sideswipe crossed the room and looked over the back of the piece of furniture. There was a gray ball curled up in the very corner. Lennox had covered himself with a blanket and tucked himself as far into the foam as he could. Sideswipe, Ratchet, and Prime had been past this thing at least three times apiece and completely missed him.
Thomas and Epps had come around to the front of the couch and were looking up. The sergeant put his hands on his hips and looked up at him. "Okay, how the hell did he get up there?"
There were no ladders or any way for humans to get up on the couch without bot assistance. The arms and padding were completely smooth. There were no handholds and never mind his injured hand. But somehow, Lennox had managed. Sideswipe wondered if he had spontaneously evolved the ability to fly.
Optimus's steps shook the ground as he moved up beside Sideswipe. "Perhaps it is the primate heritage."
"Well, get the Monkey Man down from there." Thomas sighed heavily with annoyed amusement. "If he wakes up and decides to go for a walk again, that first step is a doozy."
With gentle motions, Sideswipe reached down and rolled the human into his palm. The blanket went too, tangling the man's limbs. Lennox barely stirred as the mech straightened and took two steps back towards medbay.
Then he woke up. And not groggily and steadily like he usually did. Lennox's eyes flew open. Sideswipe's best guess was that the blanket wrapped around him felt like restraints, making him believe he was trapped. With a war-cry, he rolled over in Sideswipe's palm, flailing and swearing.
Startled, Sideswipe bent over, trying to predict the human's erratic movements to keep his servos under him. It was not unlike Annabelle playing with her pet hamster. She always put her little hands one in front of the other to let the creature run over them, careful not to drop him. She was usually giggling. Trying the same thing with her father, Sideswipe was hyperventilating.
Lennox wasn't winning the war with the blanket. It was wrapped around his leg and he rolled dangerously close to the edge of Sideswipe's hands. Sideswipe's mind flew back to the time Morty had hit the kitchen floor. He had been able to hear Annabelle crying and Sarah trying to catch the thing as she consoled her offspring.
Ten feet up, he doubted Will would be as lucky as the rodent.
Quickly, Sideswipe searched for anything closer to the ground to deposit the colonel on. The human couch was right beside him. Kneeling swiftly, he dropped Will on his back, blanket and all, on the sofa cushions. Breathing hard, he batted away the blanket with his good hand before Thomas put hands on his shoulder and called to him. "Will, wake up! You're having a bad dream."
It hadn't occurred to Sideswipe that the man wasn't fully conscious. It was strange to watch as the human's eyes went from blank and staring to alert. Maybe 'alert' was the wrong word. 'Semi-more aware' might have been a better description.
Will shook his head trying to clear it. "Vacuum cleaners."
Optimus canted his head, looking at the man. "Excuse me?"
"That nightmare. I was being attacked by vacuum cleaners." Will took a deep breath. "They were everywhere. I was able to escape with my cat-like agility."
For a few seconds, everyone was quiet. Then, a thought struck Sideswipe. "I should be offended, right? Am I the vacuum cleaner?"
In a rare show of humor, Optimus said with a slight, reassuring smile. "I'm sure they were Decepticon vacuum cleaners."
Ratchet snorted as Thomas spoke up. "Chalk it up to the drugs. Though Freud would probably have a field day with that dream analysis."
"Geez, Doc." Will rubbed his good hand over his eyes. "What the hell did you give me?"
"A small dose of Percocet, you lightweight." Thomas said back. "Does your hand hurt?"
"What hand?"
"For the love of. . ." Epps started before shaking his head and saying jokingly. "Boss, I'm losing respect for you, here."
"Sideswipe."
"Yeah?"
"Slam Epps hand in your door." Lennox gave the silver mech a mock-glare. "That's an order."
"Damn, you're a cranky patient," Epps said, nonchalant, leaning on the couch back. "You want me to carry you back to medbay, sweetheart?"
"This isn't the submarine service. Don't call me, 'sweetheart'."
Epps laughed out loud. "Seriously, man. You need a hand?"
"I'm fine here." Will waved his friend away, his eyelids already drooping again. "It won't be the first time I slept it off on a couch."
And with that, he was unconscious again.
Sideswipe rolled his optics and shook his helm. Humans.
Taking the stethoscope from around his neck, Thomas leaned in to check the colonel's heart. Of course, Sideswipe could have told him it had been beating pretty fast but was quickly slowing down again.
Now that their ally was accounted for, conversation rolled back around to the refugees. Ratchet looked to Optimus. "How are our guests?"
"Settling in for the night." The Autobot commander replied. "The youngest still seems dazed."
"Can't imagine why." Ratchet replied. "He's the youngest Cybertronian I've seen since before the war. It is possible that this is the first time in his life he doesn't have to be afraid. His whole life has been nothing but violence."
"Is Prowl his caretaker?" Sideswipe asked.
"No." Optimus answered. "According to him, he found the mechling just outside of Kaon after the loss of the AllSpark. Prowl has been unable to determine what became of Bluestreak's caretaker."
Sideswipe's spark-pulse skipped a bit. He remembered back to the days when he and his brother had been brought online by the AllSpark. A mech named Jumpstart had been assigned as their guardian. Spark-split twins were a challenge, but the mech handled them with practiced ease. As much as they tried, they were never able to get anything passed the broad orange mech. Some of the scrap they pulled would have driven a lesser mech to distraction. His love for his charges never lessened.
When Sideswipe found his empty protoform buried in the rubble of Polyhex, he had felt something in him nearly break. He understood what the kid was going through.
"Kaon?" Ratchet spoke up, looking concerned. "The Decepticon capital?"
"My thoughts exactly." Optimus told his CMO. "I shudder to think what Bluestreak has endured."
"Does he speak?" Sideswipe asked quietly.
"To Prowl or Hound." Optimus replied. "Given time, I believe that he will open up to the rest of us. . . once he realizes he is safe here."
Epps and Thomas had been standing near the couch where Lennox snored lightly. It was the sergeant who spoke up. "Do you know these guys?"
"Hound was a scout very early on in the war." Optimus looked down at him, offering a slight smile. "Despite the looks of him, he is a very talented spy."
"What about the other one?" Thomas asked, "Prowl?"
"I had not met him before today."
"He's a pain in the aft." Sideswipe expected the heated glare Optimus pinned him with.
Ratchet spoke as Optimus continued to try and bore holes into Sideswipe's plates with his optics. "He was an Enforcer on Cybertron, equivalent to a police officer here on Earth."
"Hound knows little about him, despite their time together." Optimus replied. "However, Prowl has earned Hound's confidence. I trust his judgment."
Sideswipe muted his vocalizer. Prime was pretty good at placing his trust in the right mechs . . . people . . . organisms. But to simply go on a word from a mech he hadn't seen in centuries seemed a little brash.
Optimus moved on, setting the patrols for the evening. "Ratchet and Sideswipe: base guard duty. Supplement the human guards and the security net with hourly perimeter patrols."
"Understood." Ratchet replied.
"I'm going to patrol with the Wreckers this evening."
Ratchet's optic ridge rose slightly. "You're supposed to be off-duty."
"I'm aware." Optimus replied with a gentle tone. "But extra sensors on the shift couldn't hurt."
Sideswipe frowned and crossed his arms. He saw this for what it was. "He got to you, didn't he? That Enforcer? He's got you second-guessing everything now."
There was a hint of forced patience in the Prime's response. "Prowl pointed out areas that might need improvement, yes. But my choice to patrol tonight has more to do with needing time to process as opposed to feeling that our defenses are inadequate."
Sideswipe wasn't buying it, not fully. Prime hitting the road had a lot to do with doubts Prowl had planted in his mind. And the fact that there was now a youngling recharging in Gamma Barrack increased that doubt exponentially to near paranoid proportions. Sideswipe had co-existed long enough with Optimus to understand Prime coding. He was programmed to protect, pure and simple.
And he was glaring at Sideswipe again. The mech relented. "All right, all right. I get it."
As the Prime departed, Sideswipe went with Ratchet to the security center. The large bank of monitors gave them footage of the entire base. Sideswipe scanned them quickly. Except for those on-duty, most of the human base staff had retired to their domiciles for the evening. There were a few nocturnal creatures rousting themselves. Other than that, as usual, everything was quiet.
"Glitched freak." Sideswipe muttered, but not quite quietly enough for Ratchet not to hear.
"I suppose you speak of our new Enforcer?"
"You suppose right." Sideswipe replied. "Does Optimus really expect us all to get along like some big happy family?"
Ratchet moved his gaze to the monitor beside the surveillance equipment. The life-signals of Optimus and the three Wreckers pulsed strongly on the display, showing them rolling down past the guard gate and splitting after moving through. Topspin accompanied their leader to the end of the military's property before turning south. Optimus signal tracked north. "I suppose he does."
Sideswipe watched his commander's signal for a moment before huffing, "Slagger."
"Hi Sides!"
"Jiminy Flippin' Christmas!" The enthusiastic screech of Annabelle Lennox's voice in his com immediately triggered the codes to his 'anti-swear word' programming. Beside him, Ratchet sputtered through his vents, beginning to chuckle.
He left the line open, allowing Ratchet to listen in. The com was for emergencies only, but if Annabelle was on it, it wasn't too urgent. "Hey, Bit. What's up?"
"We're calling to say 'Hi'!"
Predictably, a familiar voice asked for the handheld device before Sarah spoke up, laughter in her tone. "Sorry, Sides. I couldn't resist."
As happy as he was to hear the voices of his charges, Sideswipe had an inkling of where this was going. Fortunately, Thomas had heard the com and was already walking towards him, leaving Epps with Will. "No problem. What's up?"
"I tried to call Will." Sarah started, her voice a little lighter than normal. "But his phone keeps going to voicemail. Did you guys make it home okay?"
Had it been anyone else, he would have played the word game. Technically, yes they had. It was only after Sideswipe had gotten Will back to base that he had tried to dismember him. But it was Sarah. Not only would she see right through him anyway, but he couldn't bring himself to mislead her.
Thomas saw him floundering and mercifully stepped in to help him. "Sarah, it's Captain Thomas."
"Oh god, what happened?"
"He's all right. He's fine." Sideswipe thanked his lucky stars that the medic had the foresight to reassure her quickly. The mech had thought about asking Sarah to send Annabelle from the room or take the com off of the speaker setting, but the little girl was no idiot. She'd put it together that something was wrong. "Will just got his hand caught in Sideswipe's door. It's a bad cut and two broken bones, but he's fine."
There was a deep sigh. "You scared me."
Primus, friggit. There was that guilt again. This time, there was no stopping the apology. "Sarah, I'm sorry."
There was moment of quiet before Sarah came back. "You didn't do it on purpose, did you?"
"No!" Sideswipe shouted back indignantly. "I would never-!"
"Then," the woman replied, cutting him off with a laugh, "it's okay. You've put enough 'Saving Lennox Tail' points in the bank to cover one mistake."
"Dad's okay, right?" Sideswipe felt his tank churn at Annabelle's small voice.
"He's fine." Sideswipe could see Sarah snuggling the little girl close and reassuring her. "Just an accident."
"Can I talk to him?"
"I'd like to let you, Annie." Thomas spoke up again. "But he's sleeping. The medicine I gave him zonked him out."
Sarah spoke again, acutely interested. "What did you give him?"
"Just a little Percocet."
There was silence on the com for a moment before Sarah came back drolly, "How's that working out for you?"
"Oddly enough I was just about to ask you about that." Thomas spoke up with a knowing tone. "There's nothing in his file about any bad reactions to medications. He doesn't have any, does he?"
"Nothing serious." Sarah's voice held a tone of amusement. "He just tends to get a little . . . random. . . .on certain painkillers."
"Like waking up from a dead sleep and finding new, fun places to hibernate?" Sideswipe left out the climbing onto the couch part. "Or how about dream death-matches with vacuum cleaners?"
"Oh, Sides," there was a hint of sympathy in the tone of Team Lennox's alpha female, "that's the tip of the iceberg."
"It's going to be a long night." Ratchet grumbled before speaking up. "Exactly how 'random' are we talking here, Mrs. Lennox?"
"Weeeellll," Sarah started with the air of someone not wanting to reveal bad news . . . or at least pretending to be compassionate about the situation of her husband's current custodians. "The day he got his wisdom teeth removed we ended up in the Waffle House parking lot at 2 a.m. with him on the hood of the car singing show tunes."
Sideswipe looked at Ratchet for a second before breaking out in barely restrained laughter. "Primus, you're kidding."
"I am not." Sarah replied over Annabelle's giggles. "For whatever reason, his body fights it, but he can't cope with all of the effects. He wanders and he says the funniest sh- . . . stuff." Sarah's anti-swear word programming kicked in just in time.
"Oh fabulous." Thomas spoke up. "He's one of those."
"Do you want us to come back tonight?" Sarah asked. "I can handle him."
"He was pretty explicit." Thomas replied. "He didn't want you driving back this late at night. We'll take care of him."
"You sure?"
"There's two sets of eyes and two sets of optics on him right now." Sideswipe replied. "And it's after eleven. You wouldn't get home before tomorrow anyway."
"You'll watch Dad, Sides?"
His spark warmed at the Annabelle's voice. He thought for sure that the girl would be at least a little upset that her metal alien friend had hurt her father. In retrospect, he probably should have known better. "You got it, Bit."
Sarah was back on the line. "Sides? Can you do me a favor?"
"Anything."
"Take video. He doesn't believe me about the Waffle House."
Sideswipe snorted, glancing merrily at Ratchet as he did so. The medic shook his head. "You got it, Boss Lady."
"We'll be home tomorrow." Sarah assured them.
"Safe trip, ladies."
And with that he signed off. Looking from the mech medic to the human one, Sideswipe shrugged. "So should we fit him with a GPS collar or what?"
And the whole vacuum cleaner thing is inspired by actual events. I'm not kidding . . .
