The confession never came. Matsuda's heart sank, having expected something of a romantic story's beautiful conclusion. He had been so sure that Ide would have uttered the words "I love you," but he was so far from the truth.

"I care for you, but…" Ide spoke hesitantly.

But? But what? Matsuda didn't know what to think, his heart racing right along with his mind. Was it a good 'but' or one that was leading into something that would be consolation. "But..?"

Ide shook his head, wishing he didn't have to say this. In truth, he didn't want to hurt his friend, his co-worker. Not to mention, he didn't want to feel awkward either. "But I can't love you."

Hurt surprise took over the entirety of Matsuda's face. It was unmistakable that the man was not expecting this. There was not much he could think to say, especially now that he couldn't think straight. You can't love me, Matsuda questioned mentally. "Ide-san… W-what?"

"I can't love you, Matsuda-san…" He couldn't look the other man in the eyes.

Grasping for words and finding none, Matsuda opened his mouth only to close it a moment afterward. Giving up on this endeavor, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply to gain composure. He forced a smile and laughed shamefacedly, "Th-that's alright. I should have known and not said anything in the first place."

Subsequently, Matsuda patted Ide's shoulder and left.

Once out of the room and far enough down the hall that Ide couldn't hear, he broke out into a run. It had no particular purpose other than to get his built up emotions out of him. After a while of running around the area of headquarters, Matsuda finally felt drained enough to head back up to his room and go to bed for the night. His breathing was rapid and heavy, his body ached, but he felt much better.

Getting to his room, however, he found that he was far too tired to actually bother taking a shower. Taking one tomorrow morning wouldn't kill him. So with that in mind, Matsuda simply stripped down to his boxers and climbed in bed.

Ide, on the other hand, was having trouble getting to sleep. Guilt racked his conscience incessantly. He knew it would be a lie to tell Matsuda that he loved him, yet he couldn't help feeling that he had hurt the other man's feelings. Much of the night was spent lying in bed and staring at the ceiling whilst he thought about the situation he had found himself in.

Although the morning came quickly for Matsuda, Ide wasn't as fortunate. It seemed to take forever to get to sleep, only to fall asleep with two odd hours before he had to be awake.

Matsuda awoke and did as planned. He wasn't feeling as bad as he had the day prior, which was always a big bonus. As long as he didn't give too much thought to what had happened, he was confident that he could act as he always did. He'd gotten over Ide once already this week, so Matsuda figured that it wouldn't be too large a hurdle to do again.

The alarm went off. Groaning, Ide threw an arm out to hit the snooze bar and closed his eyes once again. It had felt as though he slept a good five minutes, there was no way he was getting up right yet. Once the alarm went off again after the period of time the snooze offered, he finally dragged himself out of bed and got ready to face the day.

It was a difficult shift to pull through. Ide was wrestling with the ill effects of not sleeping well, and trying to balance those effects, work, and the feelings he was still sorting through. Watching Matsuda be so… cheerful, he just didn't know what to think. He remembered the hurt expression; he remembered the way that Matsuda pretended to be alright just before he left. Or did he remember? The whole night after work was something of a blur and a wave of mixed feelings. He couldn't be sure that he was remembering everything as it really was. For all he knew, it could have just been a miserable dream--it was not, but it was a decent defense mechanism to make himself feel better. Was Matsuda just putting on an act? He had to be, didn't he?

Work, work, work. Matsuda tried to keep his mind off of his co-worker and the night prior for the sake of forgetting what had happened and the feelings he had felt. Ide didn't love him, and the words that had proved it would rip through his mind if he didn't prevent it by thinking of something else. It was a pain trying to act like nothing was wrong, but it was well worth it. He didn't want to explain what had gotten him so down: "Oh, its just that Ide-san doesn't love me" would definitely not fly. If anything, he'd be yelled at by Aizawa that he should be taking things more seriously, instead of trying to date another task force member and complicate everything more than it already was.

Matsuda could just picture Aizawa now: "Shut up, Matsuda," he would yell, "This isn't the time or place! Get back to work, and stop fooling around!" It wasn't really a funny situation, but a stifled chuckle escaped his lips regardless.

This laugh was picked up quite easily by the other's around him. Aizawa seemed to be the one most offended, "What are you laughing about?"

Shaking his head and grinning foolishly, Matsuda waved his hand dismissively. "Nothing, nothing. Sorry." Of course, he got back to his work quickly.

It is very difficult to focus when sleep deprived; Ide relearned this very quickly. Attention and focus were difficult to maintain, and his eyes felt so sore and dry from being so tired. Its even worse to get sleep if the hours are few and far between. Getting a small amount of sleep you are not used to simply exhausts you more than you would probably feel if you had not caught a quick nap. It was a vicious cycle, really. And didn't Ide know now.

A hand was placed on his shoulder, Ide jerked up from the sleep he hadn't realized he had fallen into. Looking up, embarrassed, he found Aizawa standing behind him.

A sympathetic look lingered in Aizawa's expression, "Are you alright, Ide-san? Maybe you should take the day off and get some rest. I'm sure Light wouldn't mind."

Ide nodded and stood, "Thank you, Aizawa-san."

There was no denying it. Ide needed sleep. He didn't like the idea of taking the whole day off, so he intended to get some rest and return later to take another shift. It worked perfectly fine. He would get some rest, and he wouldn't have to see Matsuda and feel bad about what had happened last night. Ide was out the moment his head hit his pillow.

Fade in; The room was empty, silent. Ide looked around the dark room in which the task force considered headquarters. All the monitors had been turned off, which was a rather strange sight to behold seeing as there was always someone watching them. He heard his name, which caused him to reel around to search for the person.

Aizawa stood by the door, though Ide couldn't remember seeing him when he came into the room. Nevertheless, he composed himself. To ask why the other man was here would be pointless--he worked here too.

"Hideki," Aizawa smiled.

Ide was confused. It felt strange to be called by his first name by a co-worker since it just wasn't customary. Still, he didn't question that. "What?"

He shook his head, "I've been meaning to tell you, but I've always been afraid to. I love you, Hideki. I love you."

Upon hearing the words, Ide's heart fluttered. "D-do you… really?"

Solemnly, Aizawa nodded. "I do."

This confession was soon followed up by a passionate kiss, and Ide could feel the other man's hand slowly sliding down his ba--

Ide was jerked awake by the sound of a grating beeping-- otherwise known as an alarm clock. Groaning not only because it was annoying and that he was still tired, but also because, in all honesty, he had been enjoying the dream he'd been having. It had been the first time that he'd had a dream of that nature, particularly about his co-worker Aizawa. Feeling such a way, though, was not a new experience. Still, hearing what the Aizawa in his dream had said, he still hadn't gotten the jittery feeling out of his stomach. Either way, he got himself decent again and headed back to work.

Once back in the room with those on shift, Ide was greeted with a smile from Matsuda, "Feeling better, Ide-san?"

The reply was an absent-minded nod. Though, when he thought about it, Ide felt pretty guilty having had a dream about Aizawa right after he'd turned down Matsuda's feelings. Sure, he couldn't control what kind of dreams he had or where his affections lied, but he could help but feel that it was wrong to be thinking of anyone else right after rejecting someone else. There had to be something morally wrong with that.

Likewise, Matsuda nodded before returning back to reading through the papers he had been given to look through. He didn't really mind the lack of verbal response; he didn't think much of it and besides, it was never good to think too far into something someone did who you were trying to get out of your head. Besides, there was no reason to expect anything other than a nod.

The more he thought about Aizawa, the more he felt bad about rejecting Matsuda. The more he felt bad about rejecting Matsuda, the more Ide thought about Matsuda. The more Ide thought about Matsuda, the more he felt bad about rejecting Matsuda. From there, he thought more about Aizawa and then it started all over again. Frustrated by this cyclical thought pattern, Ide rubbed his head and frowned. He much preferred reading about love triangles than living one. It was a lot easier.

It was easy to notice something had been bugging Ide, especially because Matsuda rarely--if ever--saw his co-worker distressed. The thought of it bothered him, but he didn't think it was appropriate to fuss about it. Ide was a man, and men had to work out their own problems. Matsuda didn't want to step in on that unless he was approached about it. He'd already overstepped enough boundaries for the week.

Nearing the end of the shift, Matsuda finally decided to say something. "Hey, Ide-san," Matsuda grinned, perching his chin on his upright forearm.

Ide glanced over, hoping it wasn't another pitch at becoming romantically involved.

"You seem down. Want to go drinking tonight?"

He considered it a moment, unsure if he should or not. However, the need to forget his troubles overcame the feeling that he should go out. "Alright."

A triumphant laugh escaped him, "Good. We can go after the shift."

It seemed like forever before the shift was over, and eagerness was making it hard for Matsuda to focus on the task at hand. Eventually, of course, the time rolled around and they were free to leave for a while. He waited on Ide before they left.

Along the way, Ide began questioning himself. Why did he accept? He didn't like to drink too much, but he figured it may be good that he didn't: they needed someone to drive afterward and it was difficult to guess how Matsuda would be after this trip. Hopefully nothing would get complicated…

After some time at the bar, Ide had found that Matsuda had become quite drunk. No, no; it got worse than that.

Matsuda chuckled in a drunk manner with a grin to suit, "Ide-san~!" He slung his arm around Ide's shoulders and pulled him close, "I'll tell you what~!"

"W-what?" Ide was sure it was going to be something embarrassing.

He tried to look serious, which didn't amount to much. "I think you're sexy! Not my type, but what the hell! I'd have sex with you!"

Looking around nervously, Ide hoped that his co-worker hadn't drawn any attention to them. Meanwhile, he could feel his cheeks burning up with embarrassment. "Uh…"

"No, no. Really! I'd have sex with you, Ide-san! Don't be shy~!" That so-called serious expression of his was still not working out, even though he thought he was saying the most profound of things. In fact, he didn't realize how uncomfortable it was making the other man.

Ide frowned, "M-Matsuda-san, you're drunk."

"No~! I'm just a little tipsy, s'all! Trust me~ I know my limits!"

"Lets go back to headquarters."

"Oh, you dirty bastard~!" Grinning and misconstruing the entire thing, Matsuda mussed Ide's hair with the hand which was over Ide's shoulder.

Ignoring the statement, Ide herded his drunken co-worker to the car to drive him back. It was already getting late and he was feeling quite uncomfortable.

Again Matsuda laughed, "I never knew you were so rough~! But don't worry! Hehe~ I don't mind that you are~!"

It was difficult not to speed. Ide wanted to get back as soon as possible, and had to catch himself every so often when he found himself exceeding the speed limit. The sight of the building in which headquarters was in was welcomed, and made Ide even more anxious to get back.

Once there, he had to again heard Matsuda. This time to his room.

No sooner, they had gotten to Matsuda's room. Ide had walked him there, and tried to leave him on the bed and leave. However, Matsuda had different ideas.

Before Ide had the chance to leave, Matsuda grabbed him by the tie and pulled toward himself so that Ide's face was only inches from his own. "Where do you think you're going?"

The smell of alcohol on his co-worker's breath was terrible. The man winced, "I'm going back to my room. Try to get some rest, Matsuda-san."

The drunken man pouted, "Ide-saaaa~n. Don't play hard to get. Its not a turn on, that's for sure."

Ide shook his head, "Stop it, Matsuda-san."

Simply, Matsuda grinned.

"Wha--"

Before Ide could retort, he was pulled sharply into a kiss by his tie. The taste of vodka and other various drinks was quite apparent, especially when Matsuda tried to force his tongue into his mouth. Not wanting this to occur, he tried to pull away. The tie pressed immediately into the back of his neck when he jerked backwards, which was quite a surprise and a sudden pain. Quickly, he tugged the tie right out of his drunken co-worker's tie. Or rather, tried.

Matsuda released the tie and dropped backward on the bed, arms spread for no reason other than the fact that they just ended up there. He spent a little time just looking at the man with a drunken smile until he ended up falling asleep where he lay.

It was a relief, honestly, but Ide felt bad leaving the man in that condition. What if he were to throw up in his sleep? It was a disgusting thought, but legitimate enough. Drowning on your own vomit, what a nasty way to go… Sighing, Ide took a seat in a chair.

He hoped that, if Matsuda stayed asleep, he could make sure that the man would make it alright while not having to worry about being flirted with… poorly. Unfortunately, in the meantime, he ended up dozing off himself.

The next morning, Matsuda awoke feeling like he'd been hit by a bus a few times. Not to mention the fatigue. Rubbing his head, he groaned and got up. When he'd gone drinking, he hadn't expected to drink as much as he had. Frankly, he'd lost touch about just how much he'd had; it was an easy thing to do when drinking, after all. Why did he have to have hard liquor?

From the corner of his eye, Matsuda spotted a figure. Startled, he turned to face them. "… Ide-san?" To say that he wasn't surprised would be a lie. Sure, he had been out drinking with the other man, but why was he here? "Oh, don't tell me…" Matsuda mumbled to himself.

Ide stirred and looked at Matsuda groggily.

"Ide-san… Did we..?" He didn't remember getting intimate with Ide, but he wasn't certain if he could have just forgotten it because of the alcohol.

"No," Ide shook his head to suit his answer. There needn't be a reason to say more.

Matsuda nodded slowly, nodding any faster would kill his head. "Sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Whatever I said or did last night."

Ide shook his head, "Its alright. You just got carried away."

"Are you sure..? I'm sure I said things that made you really uncomfortable… I wanted to bring you out so you could get whatever you had on your mind off it, and let you have a good time. But instead, I just made you have to deal with me drunk."

"It's alright…"

"I don't understand why it would be," Matsuda frowned. He felt awful about it.

"Because I love you," Ide admitted quietly. His gaze was averted, fearing that he might provoke teasing from Matsuda or that Matsuda had changed his mind about him over time.

This was definitely not a reason that Matsuda had expected. However, to hear it out of his renewed love interest's mouth, in his voice, caused an excited fluttering sensation in his stomach. He wanted to hear it again, but thought it would be emasculating to dwell too much on it.

Matsuda threw his arms around him and grinned, "I'm so glad!"

Although Ide hesitated, the embrace was soon requited. He felt a huge burden lift off his chest, glad that it was now gone. Still, he could not believe this was happening-- no matter the details of the situation. It couldn't be. Sure, he could see and feel the other man in his arms; he never expected this. He had tried giving dating women a shot before, but he never felt successful in his attempts even on the off chance that he was able to have a girlfriend. Ide had never really thought much about this, really-- despite that he never really felt fully satisfied.

Not only that, but Ide had been wrestling with what he should do about the love triangle that existed in his feelings. It had finally won out that he at least had a chance with Matsuda who had feelings for him, against a man that had a wife and children.

The close embrace soon ended. Matsuda pulled away slightly, grinning in a teasing manner, "I thought you'd never admit it."