Yeah, yet another chapter of confusing craziness! ...Well, it's not as crazy as the first chapter, but I hope it's good enough for you! ^.^
"No way!"
"Yes way! I'll take it in cash."
"…You must've cheated!"
"He doesn't cheat, hypocrite. Now hand over the cash."
"Hmph."
"Take it as a lesson, you won't win against him. Ever."
Sakura wagged her finger at the now broke chuunin glaring at Naruto, who fanned his face idly with a stock of cards. The chuunin grumpily handed over the money and quickly left.
Sasuke smirked, while Naruto expertly counted the green paper slips. Anko and another jonin, Kurenai Yuhi, was watching them with a smirk and a faintly shocked look respectively.
"How did you get so good?" The crimson-eyed jonin wondered. Naruto shrugged as he pocketed the money. "I'm a natural, and it's good practice to play with Kyuubi, he's got some awesome skills!" He grinned, and lit a cigarette.
Kurenai was slightly unnerved at how he spoke of Kyuubi, though curious. Anko raised one eyebrow. "You play poker with the natural disaster?" She chuckled. "He plays poker with anyone." Sakura deadpanned.
"He'd probably play poker with the leader of an evil mercenary band if he could." Sasuke agreed dryly. Kurenai and Anko sweat dropped. "Say…what do you want to do today, brats?" She wondered.
Naruto got a thoughtful look on his face. "Can we go ask the old man Hokage about being allowed to leave the village? I want to go to Nami, and get someone to make a bridge, named after me!" He grinned, breathing out a cloud of smoke.
"…That's a strange thing to want…okay, let's go to the Hokage!" Anko grinned, poofing away. Kurenai started, and sighed as the three genin poofed away as well.
"I think they've made Anko even crazier than normal…" She muttered.
XXX
The Hokage looked somewhat incredulous as Naruto explained his 'great' dream of getting a bridge named after him. Sasuke and Sakura were adding reasons, while Anko stood behind all three with her hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh.
"Should you not ask Kakashi for permission?" The old man asked pointedly. Naruto waved his hand. "Nah, he'd never allow us to. And old man, we'd be having Anko with us! She can watch out for us, ya know?" He offered.
The Hokage sighed. "I can't just allow you to roam wherever you want, when you want, Naruto. Even with a jonin… But." He took a dramatic pause here. "I can send you on a mission to wave. Recently we got a request for an escort to Nami."
"We'll take it! Pretty please?" Naruto grinned innocently. The Hokage snorted. "Very well. It is only this once Naruto. Understood? I will send the client to the gate in an hour." He said.
The three genin grinned, while Anko smirked. In a matter of seconds, all were gone, leaving only a lot of smoke.
"Cough, cough! Why can't anyone use the door?"
XXX
"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz. You'll find he's a whiz of a wiz! If ever a wiz there was." Sakura chanted as she skipped beside Naruto.
Tazuna, the client, looked miserable, and incredulous. 'What did I do to deserve a bunch of strange kids and a crazy woman as my escort?' He demanded in his mind.
"Mitarashi? What would happen if one were to drop a paper bomb in a puddle?" Naruto asked, looking at the purple-haired jonin through half-lidded eyes.
Anko shrugged. "It'd blow up." She replied dryly.
"Oh, nice!" Naruto grinned, and dropped said paper bomb in a suspicious puddle lying in the middle of the way.
Two screams echoed the blast.
Tazuna swallowed heavily. "How'd you know they were there?" He wondered. Naruto glared at him. "It hasn't rained in days." He pointed out. Sasuke smirked at the old man.
"So, why are they after you? And don't try to explain it away, we already know."
"How?"
"We're just awesome like that. Let's continue!"
"Aye, Captain!"
"Not again!"
XXX
"Hm…Mitarashi? You might want to…duck." Naruto said with an amused smile as a giant sword cleaved right through him, though for some strange reason, his waist only dissolved into smoke before settling back to normal. Anko rose and glared at the sword.
"Don't glare at it! You'll hurt its feelings!" Sakura exclaimed.
Tazuna felt as if he should begin to weep.
"Look! It's Mr. Pajama pants!" Sasuke declared, pointing at the tall, muscled man standing at the handle of the sword, wearing somewhat poofy pants and no shirt. Not to forget the bandages around his mouth and neck.
The man glared at the dark-haired boy. "You ruined the moment, brat!" He growled. Sasuke pouted. "I didn't mean to. Will it be okay if we let you leave without letting Naruto blow you up?" He smiled innocently, and the man blinked.
"Uchiha-brat, no negotiating with strangers! Besides, I want to play with him, Naruto can find someone else!" Anko yelled with a childish look on her face.
"Is he really a stranger when we know his name?" Sakura wondered, looking at the black-haired man.
"…Don't talk as if I'm not here, you brats and woman!"
XXX
Haku watched in awed incredulity as Zabuza was running around, dodging the purple-haired jonin's snakes, the black-haired boy's fireballs, the pink-haired girl's kicks, and the blonde boy's sealing tags.
Those sealing tags seemed pretty nifty, but how in all the layers of hell did he put a ferocious kitten inside?
"Bad kitten! Fuzzy, let go of Mr. Pajama Pants and return to your tag now."
"Fuzzy, don't eat the cute little snakes!"
"Move, Fuzzy! I'm trying to fry someone here!"
"Get the cat away! That's my play toy he's scratching up!"
Haku sweat dropped as the escort team argued among themselves, while still attacking Zabuza. Tazuna was rubbing his forehead, and grumbling about crazy ninja.
"Would you stop that? I'm the one ambushing you, at least allow me one attack!" Zabuza yelled, ducking as Fuzzy the cat tried to skewer his head with strangely metallic claws.
"…Nah." Naruto smiled widely as he crushed his cigarette with his fingers. Zabuza grunted in irritation and swung his sword, batting Anko's snakes and Fuzzy away.
"Meow." The cat deadpanned, shaking its head after being slammed into a tree.
"What the hell is that cat made of?" Anko demanded. Naruto shrugged. "Metal. And cat." He replied.
"Water style, water dragon jutsu!" Zabuza's roar made the blonde and the purple-head turn to look at a large dragon soaring right towards them. Naruto sighed. "I hate water." He muttered, just as he dissolved into smoke.
"Oi, bastard! That was unneeded!" Sakura shouted, and gave Zabuza a solid roundhouse kick.
The tall, muscled man was sent flying, then skidding over the lake.
Haku watched his master slam into a tree. '…I suppose now is a good time to help.' He decided, and with that, he knocked the older man out cold with two well-placed senbon.
XXX
"So, what's up with the cat?" Anko asked as she trudged alongside Tazuna, who was shivering faintly.
"It's Fuzzy! Ain't he cute?"
"Fuzzy's cool, but he's got some issues with listening to commands."
"Bah, Fuzzy's alright. He was near dead when I found him, and some of his organs and stuff were destroyed. So I made new ones for him, and kind of saved him. After that, he was clinging onto me all the time…so I put him in a seal tag."
"He's not in the seal tag now." Anko pointed out, looking at the cat curled up to sleep on top of Naruto's head.
"Nah, it's not that much fun to be there, I suspect. Besides, he's better than a watchdog!" Naruto replied jovially.
Tazuna looked at the blonde genin curiously. "Say, how did you do that turn into smoke thing?" He wondered. Naruto waved his hand in the air. "Ninja stuff. I use my chakra to do it, so as long as I have chakra, I am more or less unkillable." He grinned.
"That's real unfair too, we can't do it because we haven't got enough chakra, and we're no good at manipulating floating substance…or whatever." Sakura complained with a pout.
"Something like that. I've got enough chakra to be smoked up for about an hour though." Sasuke added with a smirk.
"Meow." Fuzzy uttered, licking a paw before falling asleep.
Anko yawned. "The cat's got the right idea! Tazuna, how long 'til your home? I really want to sleep!" She complained. Tazuna sighed. "Not far now." He muttered.
"Hey, Sakura! Do you want a cat? I've got two others in my seal tags!"
"Oh, nice! Gimme one!"
"Me too, Captain!"
"Aye, you too, Sasuke."
Naruto dug up two more seal tags from his pouch, handing one to each. Anko and Tazuna watched interested.
Sakura's cat was a calico kitten, with green eyes, and claws similar to Fuzzy.
Sasuke's cat was a Siamese kitten, with dark red eyes, and the same claws.
"Their names are Scimitar and Coricopat! Scimitar's claws are a bit sturdier than Cori and Fuzzy's, and Cori's got a finer sense of smell and hearing than the two others." Naruto explained with a grin.
"Did you name the cats? Honestly? The scary one has a cute name, the lazy-looking one has the name of a weapon, and what does Coricopat even mean?" Anko said with a confused expression.
"I think their names fit perfectly! …And I have no idea what it means."
"Indeed. Coricopat actually reminds me of psychopath. It's a perfect fit!" Sasuke decided. Sakura nodded. "Scimitar's a cute name too." She added.
Anko shook her head with a shrug, while Tazuna looked at the harmless-looking kittens each genin now had.
"Meow."
XXX
Anko stretched out on her futon, put in a guest room in Tazuna's house. "Ah, sleep now!" She yawned, and promptly fell asleep. The three genin she was currently teaching looked incredulously at the soundly sleeping jonin.
"Unusual, but smart."
"Why?"
"Well, no thinking, for one."
"So…what do we do now, Captain?"
"Stop it!"
"Eh, it doesn't matter, we're by the sea anyways. And what to do…? Let's go ask Tsunami!"
All three ran down, somehow managing to be as silent as if they had sneaked slowly down the stairs. Scimitar was sitting on Sakura's shoulder; Coricopat was lying around Sasuke's neck, while Fuzzy was still on top of Naruto's head.
"Tsunami! Is there anything we can help you with?" Sakura asked with an extremely cute-and-innocent expression. Tsunami blinked slowly in surprise.
"Well, I suppose… Could one of you find Inari? And then I need someone to go buy some food for me." The black-haired woman requested. Naruto grinned. "I'll find the little guy. That means you two go buy food." He waved with an impish smile and dissolved into smoke that drifted away.
"No fair, how come he's got yet another cool way of leaving?" Sakura muttered, before smiling brightly at Tsunami's curious face.
XXX
Inari was sitting at the dock, glaring at the water that rippled in slow waves. He sniffed and coughed as grey smoke snaked around him, with the typical smell of a cigarette.
"Now, now, kid. What did the water do to make you so angry?" A smooth voice questioned, and the young boy looked up to see Naruto standing there, with a cigarette in his mouth.
"Leave me alone." Inari muttered. Naruto smiled amiably. "I'm afraid I cannot. Your mother requested me to find you, after all." He replied. Inari glared even more fiercely at the water, hearing the blonde boy's near cheerful voice.
"Just leave! You don't know anything about this place, and you can't beat Gato! Just leave, or die!" The black-haired boy huffed. Naruto tilted his head. "I've already died before, it's not that bad." He retorted calmly.
"What?" Inari turned to stare incredulously at the boy. "Look, kid, I'm not a hero, I'm not a villain, and I'm merely me. And dying, it isn't so bad. You see, at first, it seems really cold…and then, it begins to get warm, and comfortable. You feel as if you can finally get some well-deserved rest. And finally…you can meet them again. Those you've lost…I met my mom and dad, you know? I was so happy…but then I had to come back to life again. But still, even though death is peaceful…life might be worth living, for just a while. Now come, your mother's waiting."
Naruto's wistful voice as he talked about death seemed…wrong, somehow. But then he shifted back to his cheerful persona, and Inari frowned. 'So…he isn't just stupid…' He thought.
"…Whom do you live with, if your parents died?" The small boy wondered silently as he trudged beside the blonde.
Naruto shrugged. "Nobody. I've been living on my own since I was kicked out of the orphanage. My mom and dad, they died the day I was born, cause the Kyuubi no Youko attacked." He explained casually, breathing out smoke and fascinating Inari with making shapes of it.
"How do you do that?" The boy demanded, just as another swirl of smoke turned into a cat, which made Fuzzy jump to attack it, landing on Inari's hat.
"I use my chakra, if you know what that is. Ninja energy, if you want. And say hi to Fuzzy!"
Inari pried the cat off his hat, and looked at it curiously. It was silverish-grey, with golden eyes and metal-looking claws. When it yawned, he could see that it's teeth were metal too.
"What's up with his claws and fangs?" He asked. Naruto shrugged. "Fuzzy was almost dead when I found him out in the forest. And I like animals, and though I'm not a veterinary the least, I could fix him up…so quite a lot of Fuzzy is actually a light, yet sturdy metal material." He explained.
Inari's eyes were wide in awe, as he carefully hugged the purring kitten. "Wow, that's amazing." He muttered. Naruto laughed as he tossed the cig in the water. "Not really. But thanks kid."
XXX
Sasuke and Sakura looked around with definite frowns on their faces as they went to buy what Tsunami needed. Children in the streets held a defeated aura, even though they were playing. The game itself lacked the normal luster it should have as well.
Sakura smacked her fist against her hand. "That bastard Gato, no matter how many times I see this, it's still horrible!" She growled. Sasuke mutely nodded, though she could see his sharinghan swirl into existence.
"Sakura, do you still have one of those candy tags Naruto gave us?" He suddenly asked, and she blinked. "Oh! I forgot that. Good idea, First mate!" She exclaimed.
Sasuke glared. "You tell me I can't call Naruto Captain, and now YOU'RE reverting to calling me First mate? Hypocrite." He grumbled. Sakura just wiggled her fingers with a small grin and pulled up a tag.
"Hey, kids! Here you go, and share it, or I'll have my friend fry you, and cut off your fingers!" Sakura said, looming over the kids that came running seeing the near tower of candy.
"We will, miss! Thank you so much!" They said in unison, and Sakura smiled happily, while Sasuke looked faintly disturbed.
XXX
"So, how was it this time?"
"Still as bad, Captain. Though I did remember to remember Sakura to remember the candy tags."
"…Oh."
"Those kids were so sweet, though First mate seemed somewhat frightened of them."
"Not frightened, disturbed. There's a difference."
"Nah."
Tsunami and Inari sat listening to the team argue-report, while Anko was still sleeping, and Tazuna was gone in a drunken haze.
"Excuse me, why do you call each other as if you're…from a ship?" Tsunami wondered. Naruto looked over at her. "Oh, that's because we were pirates a couple times ago. Good pirates, not the bad kind. I'm Captain, Sasuke's my first mate, and Sakura is generally the navigator."
"…Couple times ago?" Inari blinked. Naruto shrugged. "Yep, just that. Oh, Mitarashi woke up!" He grinned, dashing upstairs.
Sasuke and Sakura looked at each other, then at the two inhabitants of the house. "We're dragging the others out to train, see ya at dinner time!" They chorused, and ran after Naruto.
Tsunami looked at Inari. Inari looked at Tsunami.
"They're quite strange."
"Yeah…did you know Naruto-niisan died?"
"…Huh?"
XXX
"So, brats! How good chakra control do you lot have?" Anko demanded, grinning at the trio.
"Mitarashi, did you, or did you not see all three of us walk on water?" Naruto deadpanned. Anko grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of her head.
"We've got all the usual ones down, and our made-up chakra shaping." Sakura said, making a butterfly that flapped its wings between her hands. Anko blinked.
"Say, Anko…? Would you mind if we lured you, went to Gato's hideout, blew it up with helluva lot of Naruto's tags, and came back?" Sasuke asked. Anko looked somewhat incredulous, though contemplating.
"Nah, I'd get in trouble with the Sandaime." She denied with a sigh. Naruto got a thoughtful look on his face. "What about us knocking you out and finding Zabuza and the fake hunter-nin instead?" He suggested.
Anko glared. "Even if I said no, you'd probably knock me out either way, damn brat." She noted. Naruto grinned, and nodded. "Fuzzy." He commanded, and the cat bounded from a tree, barreling into Anko who didn't really move or anything.
"…You…owe me…brat!"
The purple-haired jonin muttered, before falling to the ground with a dull thump. Sakura pulled her up and sat her to lean against a tree. Naruto quickly placed a couple of tags around the unconscious woman, and all three bounded off to where they first met the black-haired missing-nin.
"How come Anko didn't move away?" Sasuke wondered. Naruto smirked lightly. "She allowed us to go, First mate. And so the Sandaime can't really claim she didn't watch us good enough, she had to be knocked out. Simple, really."
"She's pretty nice, though she has a rough exterior."
"Yeah, she's nice to those she likes, but those she don't like…"
"Good thing she likes us then! Anyway, the track leads this way, now move!"
"Aye, Captain!"
XXX
...I have no idea where the cats came from. Probably the fact that MY cat, Putte, was just trying to attack my foot, jumping out of a box...
Anyway, I'm wondering whether this fic should be an 'invincible-and-crazy' fic, or a bit more serious...I've never actually written an I-a-c fic before, so it could be interesting...they'd probably mostly win because of their tricks and confusingness! xD
Please review!
