AN: This is a short chapter. Obviously, lol. I was starting to write myself into a corner, so I decided to send off this bit – and fix the rest in the next part. :) The letter is taken directly from the Shadow Brokers files (thank you ). There are some people who are reading this who has not played the DLC yet (and one or two who hasn't actually played the game) so I decided to include it in its totality.
Oh – also – there is a vote on ME2's facebook fan page about what colour FemShep's hair should be. If you haven't, please go and vote. I'd tell you to vote for the red head, but that would be influencing your vote. But, show support to GingerShep. She was our default from the beginning and I would like to give her the honour to be on the collector's edition. :)

888

Damn you, Miranda thought as she pushed her hands against her face. Stop crying damn it, what the hell is wrong with you? The problem was that she had always been very head strong and rarely listened to anybody, including herself. In front of her, on her extranet terminal, was a letter. It appeared to be so inconspicuous, so innocent, that its words hurt her all the more.

It read:

From: Illium Medical Center, Prenatal Care Department
RE: TEST RESULTS, PATIENT 12-66AD-1
Miss Lawson,

As per your request for privacy, this message will be removed from our database upon confirmation of send integrity.
While we cannot firmly attribute the cause of the benign neoplasm to the irregularity in your genetic makeup, we can confirm that the progressive damage renders you unable to conceive a child.
About 12 percent of human women ages 18-54 have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant according to data obtained from the Institute of Species Reseach (ISR). There are many support groups if you wish to discuss your condition and several options available should you wish to consider the adoption of a child.
If you require further consultation, please contact our communication officer.

Sincerely,
Dr. Banner Grenway
Department Medical Director
Illium Medical Center

She closed the message and turned away from the screen, getting up so that she could move to the corner of her office and stand there with her back towards her desk. It had been a week since she returned from Illium after her appointment with Dr. Grenway. Although she would've preferred to get this information in one of her private apartments off the base, she had to come back early as the Illusive Man had ordered that Dr. Chakwas be moved to the Normandy project. They were so close to the end of Project Lazarus that her expertise was required elsewhere. As Miranda didn't trust Wilson alone with Shepard anymore, she had to come back.

Only to hear this.

A part of her wasn't surprised. She had feared that something might be wrong, she had seen the signs long before. But, she had been so focused on this project, so determined to see it through every step of the way that in many ways she had neglected herself. She wasn't important, Shepard was.

It's not as if she wanted children anyway.

She sniffed and turned back to her desk, only to find Dr. Elizabeth Chakwas standing in her office, looking at her in surprise. Miranda cursed and turned away from her, waving the doctor away.

"For God's sake," she snapped. "Don't you ever bloody knock?"

Dr. Chakwas hesitated, then took a step forward towards her. "You know I don't," she said and lowered her voice. "Dr. Grenway cc'd me in his message to you. I'm sorry Miranda, I just got it."

"Fuck you!" Miranda snapped aghast, feeling as if her last defence was stripped away from her. "How dare you do that? You had no right! I told him not to share the information!"

Chakwas seemed immune to her anger, though she didn't come closer, choosing to slowly sit down on Miranda's desk where she could watch her. "I was the physician that referred you," she said softly. "I asked for him to keep me in the loop. And, I'm glad he did. I'm sorry Miranda."

She was breathing heavily, gulping for air as she tried to get her emotions under control. "Fuck you," she said again. "This is private, this is a private matter!" When the doctor made to come to her, she held up her hand in defence. "Don't touch me damn you, don't come near me. This is private. This was mine."

Dr. Chakwas looked at her for a long time, before she nodded slowly. "It might feel that way Miranda," she said softly. "But you're not alone. I wouldn't have told you that I knew under different circumstances, but I leave for your other base this afternoon. I think that it is important that you know that you will still have support – even if I am far away."

Miranda snorted and shook her head. "I don't need your support Doctor," she said. "Shepard needed you but know that I could've done this without you as well. You are not my doctor, and you are not my friend. I didn't need you to interfere with my life and you were certainly not privileged to that information!"

To her surprise, the doctor smiled, though the pity in her eyes almost killed Miranda. "Someone has to know," she said. "It might as well be me. You are not alone in this Miranda. I take care of the people who work with me."

Miranda wasn't done; her anger and emotions not yet spend. "I don't need you to take care of me," she said and motioned to her monitor. "That... that was just a message. A diagnosis. It's not as if I wanted kids anyway. Good riddance to me. My father did me a favour."

"You don't mean that," Dr. Chakwas said softly, with a touch of sadness in her voice. "We all want children. We might not admit it, but we do. You don't have to get over this immediately Miranda. Take your time to mourn this loss. Don't let anybody tell you that you've cried enough. This will affect the rest of your life; it's not something to be swept under the carpet."

When Miranda didn't respond Chakwas sighed and stood up, knowing that she would not get any more out of the woman. "I guess then this is my time to say good bye," she said softly. "If you need anything else Miranda, don't hesitate to ask – I'm just a call away and I'm sure your boss can bring me here in a second's notice."

Miranda didn't look at her, but continued to stare at her blank wall, not daring to touch her face to wipe away her tears. She was still angry, furious, but now – she wasn't sure whether she was angry at the doctor or at herself.

"I'll be fine," she said shortly. "Thank you for your work doctor."

Dr. Chakwas nodded and went to the door, where she hesitated. "When Shepard wakes up I want you to remember one thing Miranda," she said softly. "You two are a lot alike. She is determined, smart and very independent. She feels that if she can't fix it, then nobody can. And she puts all that she has into what she's doing. She'll never ask for help, even if she needs it. The important thing is to learn to let her deal with things on her own and when to give her assistance, whether she wants your help or not."

Miranda didn't nod but stared at Chakwas until the woman sighed and nodded at her. "I'll see you when our paths cross again Miranda," she said. "I'm sorry that I have to leave under these circumstances. Again, if you need anything – don't hesitate to call."

"I doubt that will be necessary," Miranda said smoothly and went back to her desk. "Good luck with your trip."

Chakwas left then, as she should've from the beginning, leaving Miranda to sit at her desk in solitude. She stayed there for a very long time, staring at her blank monitor, thinking about the injustice of her heritage, of her creation and finally – of the fact that she will never have children of her own.

Finally she sighed and put her gaming face on, calling up the cameras in Shepard's room. "Well, at least I still have you," she said bitterly. "And, I've put more work into you than in any child." She snorted to herself, thinking that carrying a foetus for nine months would seem like a breeze in comparison to the two years of reconstruction that she had had to endure.

I wasn't meant to be a mother anyway, Miranda thought bitterly as she checked Shepard's stats. If you've never had a mother – how could you possibly know how to be a good one?

888

She was going to lose her, she was going to lose Shepard.

Making her way to the infirmary, Miranda had to retreat when two Heavy Mecs cut her off. She turned around and run back in the direction from which she had come; because she knew that for all her power she couldn't take two of them on by herself. She had been in the gym when the attack started, running away her frustrations in the early hours of the morning. In the weeks since Chakwas left the base, her work load had doubled. She hardly trusted Wilson to check Shepard's pulse, let alone work with her so she had taken on almost all of the monitoring duties of Project Lazarus. If the man realized that he was under suspicion he didn't show it, rather commenting that she was turning into a megalomaniac, wanting all the glory of resurrecting Shepard for herself.

The only comment she had ever made about it was that the project had never been about resurrecting Shepard but saving humanity. Shepard was to be the tool for that goal.

Now, she was an open target for the hacked security system.

Fuck! Miranda thought when she cut a corner and found a squad of 5 Loki's waiting for her with another Heavy Mec behind them. She had to give it to Cerberus, they were always prepared for a small war though, she doubted that they ever anticipated that their security would turn on them. She changed direction quickly, saw an open door and ran towards it. She had to find a terminal where she could try and disable the security.

She reached the room just in time, leaping through the door and shutting it seconds before a rocket exploded against it. Her own momentum tripped her up, but she turned smoothly and leapt to her feet, her biotics flaring to life as she turned around to face the mecs if they had managed to blow the door down. Luckily, it seemed to hold even as she heard another rocket explode against it.

Damn them, she thought. Trapped.

Shepard.

She turned around immediately, seeing that she was in one of the open plan offices that some of the other personnel used. She went to a terminal immediately and tried to link up with security but found herself blocked. The terminal also didn't have the security clearance that hers had and there was no way that she could by pass it.

Damn again, Miranda thought as she linked the terminal with her omni-tool, bringing up Shepard's stats. The woman's heart rate was still stable, she was alive – but there was no telling for how long. They were so close! Miranda thought angrily as she once again tried to get at the security systems. So close and now this…

She stopped suddenly and stood back. Close, she thought. Close enough! Giddy with adrenaline, she used her omni-tool to call up the security cameras in Shepard's room. They had moved her to recovery a week ago, her tissue healed to a point where she didn't need to be in a sterile environment anymore. Her scarring was still elaborate – Miranda anticipated that it would take at least another month for them to heal completely, but – other than that, everything was fine.

In theory.

The first thing she did was withdrawing the Commander's sedation and administering a counter measure against the drug. Then, she pumped her full of as many stimulants as she could safely, knowing that it would either give the woman a heart attack or wake her up. There was no time to be cautious, no extra minutes that she could take to ensure that the Commander would be alright. She had to get up now or die.

Riana Shepard's heart rate spiked, immediately making an alarm resound from her omni-tool but she turned it to mute and went to the monitor again, this time hacking the base's communication's system. She managed to get through just as the Commander started stirring, her omni-tool highlighting the areas which Shepard was moving. Setting up the microphone that the previous office occupant used to communicate through the extranet, she started calling into it immediately, her eyes glued to Shepard's stats.

"Wake up Commander!" she snapped when she saw the woman's eyes begin to move. "Wake up Shepard! The base is under attack! Wake up!"

A loud explosion rocked the whole base, jerking Shepard awake. Miranda saw her gasp as she moved her arms to steady herself. She was naked, save for the grey blanket that covered her and there were several medication lines still attached to her body. She would have to remove that herself…

When she realized that the woman had not moved again, Miranda called out to her. "Shepard, you have to wake up! For Liara's sake, open your eyes and wake up! You'll die!"

That got to her. Miranda saw Shepard open her eyes with what must've been an immense effort. She blinked around her, saw the lines connected to her body and slowly, precisely, with hands that had not moved in almost two years, started pulling them out. She paused at some point and for a moment Miranda was afraid that she was going to lose consciousness again but before Miranda could say anything, she took a deep breath and sat up. She swayed as she did so, dropping her one leg of off the bed and pulling out the last of the lines. Then, without warning, she lost her balance and fell off of the bed.

"No!" Miranda cried out, immediately checking her omni tool to see that Shepard's blood pressure had dropped significantly. "Shepard! Get yourself up! Come on!" Please, for the love of humanity, don't die again. Come on.

Another explosion rocked the base, followed immediately by a loud thud against her door. Miranda looked up briefly to see whether it was still holding before she turned her attention back to the monitors. She had a feeling that the Mecs were trying to get inside but luckily, Cerberus had build their bases to withstand nothing short of a nuclear attack.

Shepard was still for a few minutes, her breathing so quick that she was sure to hyperventilate. But, then she steadied her breathing and slowly pushed herself up.

"What…" she croaked and coughed as she sat up, instinctively pulling the grey blanket around her that had also fallen to the floor. "What the hell is going on?"

Thy dead shall live; my dead bodies shall arise. Awake and sing, ye that dwell in the dust: for thy dew is as the dew of herbs, and the earth shall cast forth the dead. Isaiah 26:19…

"This base is under attack Shepard," Miranda said quickly as the disorientated woman looked around her, her movements still slow and sluggish. She raised a shaky hand to her face and touched it, winching immediately when she did so. "You're not healed yet, but we have to get you out of here. Can you walk?"

Shepard looked around, discovering that she was alone in the room. "Where are you?" she demanded, her gaze returning to the scars that covered the rest of her body. "What the hell happened to me? Who are you?"

There was another thud against the door in her room and this time, Miranda saw it give way a little. For the first time, she felt a moment's panic, wondering whether the three Heavy Mecs that she had encountered were now all outside. I can't die here and neither can she…

"I don't have time to explain!" Miranda snapped. "There are Heavy Mecs literally banging at my door! Please Shepard! Get up and out of that room!" She saw Shepard close her eyes and rest her head against the bed's side, again looking as if she was going to lose consciousness. "Commander!"

"I'm up," the woman muttered and opened her eyes, reaching up with a shaky hand to pull her up against the bed's side. "Just tell me where I have to…" She flinched and settled back but before Miranda could snap at her again she shook her head and pulled herself up again, steadying herself against the bed. She let the blanket drop as she had to use both hands to keep herself upright but then, when she took a few breaths, she bend down gingerly and picked it up again, tightly wrapping it around her body like a towel. "I'm up," she said again. "Just tell me where I have to go…"

888

Miranda was… Impressed.

An hour ago, Shepard had still comatose and set to be so for at least another month. Now, she was making her way through the Cerberus base, blowing Heavy Mecs up with a grenade launcher. They had always planned for Shepard to go through a rehabilitation scheme, for her body and her mind's sake. Mastering a new body could not have been easy but she was managing. Shepard had found some clothes for herself and strapped an armoured vest to her chest. Her heart rate had been very high when she started but – as she made her way through the base she began to relax a little and her stats came down to some semblance of normality. That improved her focus and her shooting significantly and – although Miranda knew that she was still in pain, she hardly said a word of complaint. She focused on what was ahead of her – and that was to get to the cargo bay no matter what.

She didn't even hesitate when she had to dive through a stream of fire.

Miranda was about to direct her into the ventilation systems so that she could make the rest of the way unhindered when the door suddenly burst open and the Loki stormed into the room. Miranda cursed and dove for cover behind the desk, flaring up her biotics for defence. She tried to hail Shepard but the Loki's shots hit the monitor, destroying her connection. They were both on their own.

There was a loud mechanical thud as the Heavy Mec forced itself through the narrow open space of the broken door. Miranda leapt up, threw a shockwave of biotics at the two nearest Loki and bolted to another desk. There was an unmistakable click as the Heavy Mec loaded it's automatic rounds and seconds after she managed to dive in behind the next table, it let loose a burst of gunfire.

Taking a steadying breath, Miranda mentally counted off the seconds, regretting that she never carried a pistol on base. She never thought that Wilson would go this far.

The bastard. All of them.

She made herself angry and it wasn't hard. She let the frustration of the past couple of months, the pain of her barrenness, the loneliness of her work and the injustice of her existence wash over her. When the Heavy Mec came round the table she was ready for it, leaping up with an animal like cry as she hurled all her power at him. Blue biotics exploded around her and the Mec was flung away from her, crumbling in the air as it did so. When it struck the wall, it exploded, sending her crashing to the back. The explosion took out the remaining Loki, leaving her alone in a now burning room. Coughing, feeling a shift in her chest undoubtedly due to broken ribs, Miranda pushed herself up, rubbing the blood from her face.

Take that you bastards, she thought as she stumbled out of the room to move towards the cargo bay where she trusted Shepard was heading. Nobody tries to ruin my project and gets away with it. Nobody.

888

To Be Continued...