Disclaimer: I don't own, so you big guys in the Lamborghinis can sue me!!!


Sing 'Dude looks like a lady' whenever he comes into the room

Blame it on Tobi

Replace all of his explosive clay with Play-dough

Mold a copy of his scope in his explosive clay

Steal his scope, and replace it with your clay one

When he goes to wake himself up the next morning by splashing water in his face, watch as the clay explodes

For that whole day run around him screaming "UN!" repeatedly

Sneak into his room at night and place a bowl of cornflakes right where he will step when he wakes up

When he wakes and steps, scream "WHY YA STEPPIN IN MAH CORNFLAKES, UN?!"

Dress up exactly like him, with a Play-dough scope, and right down to the hairstyle, look like a shadow clone

Make it so that he can only eat cornflakes for breakfast

Hide in the fridge

When he inevitably has a bowl of cornflakes, jump out of the fridge and scream "YA STILL UP IN MAH CORNFLAKES, UN?!" still clad in you're Deidara costume

If you're a girl say "Hey Girlfriend, un! Wanna go shopping, un?" while still in you're Deidara out fit

If you're a guy say "DUDE, UN! A HOTT CHICK, UN! Hey baby, wanna go out sometime, un?"

In both cases you'll get a reply of "IM NOT A GIRL, UN!" before you spray him with pixie stick sugar

When he looks at you funny, snap your fingers

A sugar crazed Tobi will bound in, and start eating the sugar you sprayed on Deidara

Snap you're fingers again, and a fountain of sugar and a mountain of candy will appear in the middle of the room

Scream "CANDY MOUNTAIN, UN! CANDY MOUNTAIN, UN! FILL ME UP WITH SWEET SUGARY GOODNESS, UN!!" Whilst doing the worm on top of the mountain of candy

Then shove a toy dinosaur in front of Deidara

Scream "IT'S A LEOFLORIDON CHARLIE, UN! A MAGICAL LEOFLORIDON, UN!" and swich to the Numa Numa Dance

When he asks you what the heck you're doing un, make him watch 'Charlie the Unicorn'

When he starts twitching, take him into a bowling ally

Use an explosive clay bomb as you're bowling ball

When Deidara screams "NO, UN!" don't listen, and throw the ball

When the bowling ally explodes say "SHE DID IT, UN!" and point to Deidara

He'll blame it on Tobi

Tobi will blame it on you

Start playing the blame game

Walk with Deidara and hide a radio fixed to sing 'Barbie Girl' in his robes

Mind you, you are STILL in you're Deidara costume

Rig it so that when he trys to turn it off it gets louder

MUCH louder

Sell his underwear to fangirls as he tries to destroy the radio

Force him to eat cake

Force him to eat Fishcakes

Tell him that you sold his teddies to fangirls

Then tell him that 'teddies' means underwear

Happily proclaim that you're the reason Deidara lost his arms

Then proclaim even happier that you are Lord of the Underwear

No, I didn't mess up just then

When he looks at you funny again, climb on top of his head and do the Running Man

Insist that if he doesn't join you, you won't stop

When he reluctantly joins you, jump off doing the worm in mid-air

Tell him that the Running Man went out of style before he was born

Still doing the worm in your Deidara costume explain the phrase 'Yaio' and 'Yuri'

When he starts twitching stop doing the worm and switch to the Robot

Then explain the phrase 'Detailed Lemon' as it applies to fanfiction

Show him a Detailed Lemon in the form of an Icha Icha Paradise book

As he pulls out a kunai to stab himself tell him "Naughty, naughty, Deidei-chan, not until you finish your cornflakes." Shaking your finger like a scolding mother

Sure enough on the table in the kitchen there are his unfinished cornflakes

Instead of letting him finish them, make spaghetti

And pile it with chocolate sauce, marshmallows, M'n'M's, and gummy bears (like in Elf)

Squirt a large amount of ketchup on it and get Tobi to force feed Deidei-chan

The result:

Deidara woke up and his scope exploded, and all of this clay was replaced with Play-dough. Tobi ran around him in circles yelling 'UN!' all day, he got yelled at for stepping in cornflakes, he had a hallucination involving a shadow clone and a Candy Mountain, he blew up a bowling ally, he had to eat Kisame's home cooking, his 'teddies' were sold to his fangirls, he did a really out-of-date dance, he was exposed to the horror of the Icha Icha series, his mother used his nickname with him, and he had to eat spaghetti that was covered in many things that should never be eaten on spaghetti.

All in all, a fairly normal day. Now if he could only find his clay…


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