Hello! This is a repost that was requested over on tumblr. :) Just a warning, if you don't like angst, might want to skip this one.
She walks into his room and sees her best friend and the love of her life lying in bed, his face pale and even from where she is standing, she can hear him struggling for breath.
She immediately feels the tears well up as a heavy feeling settles on her heart; her heavy heart that seems to be beating even more slowly but as she sees the man the she loves lying in that bed, she's surprised that it's beating at all.
I can't do this she panics. She doesn't want him to see her upset like this but before she even has the opportunity to move, he slowly opens his eyes with what appears to be a great deal of effort.
The way his face still manages to light up with a smile as soon as he sees her feels like another blow to her heart.
They had their ups and downs just like any other relationship but there was one thing that nobody could ever deny: they were crazy about each other even when they drove each other crazy.
"Hello sweetheart," he says in a low and labored voice.
He sees the tears in her eyes and reaches out for her and she all too willingly rushes over to take his hand, the knot in her throat growing thicker when she feels his hand colder than it normally is. She intertwines their fingers and brings up their joined hands to press a kiss on the back of his.
She clasps his hand with her free one, almost as if trying to warm it up and feels the first tear fall when she feels him bring up his other hand to tuck some loose strands behind her ear and cup the side of her face.
"It's alright love, it's alright," he says soothingly in that same tone that had always managed to bring her a sense of comfort.
She doesn't say anything and merely shakes her head furiously, refusing to let go of his hand wrapped between hers and refusing to look at him.
She can't bring herself to do it without losing it completely and having a total breakdown in front of him.
It's not like she hasn't broken down in front of him in the past but this time would be different and she can't do fears if she allows herself to give in, she'll never be able to stop the tears and she can't do that now. Not in front of him.
"Look at me, sweetheart," he says gently, lightly stroking the side of her face with his thumb.
She sucks in a breath and closes her eyes to try and keep the tears from falling.
"Caroline look at me," he says again firmly, bringing his hand to gently lift her chin up.
She forces herself to slowly open her eyes and barely manages to make out his features through her tears as the second tear runs down her face followed closely by a third and soon she loses count when she feels him lean in and begin to press light kisses against her cheeks, trying to capture every tear with his lips. He then pulls back and cups both sides of her face before he leans in and captures her lips in a gentle yet passionate kiss that makes her heart both swell and feel like it is breaking at the same time.
She wraps one hand around his neck and caresses the side of his face with the other, while he uses his strength to pull her in closer, feeling like he would never be able to hold her close enough.
He wants nothing more than to keep kissing her but his already weak lungs demand a break to catch some air so he forces himself to pull back and rests his forehead against hers as he struggles to get some air while simultaneously trying to breathe in her intoxicating scent.
"How are you feeling?" she asks and he can hear the concern in her voice.
"I'm alright love," he sighs and tries to smile and make some innuendo but his body betrays him and he begins coughing and wheezing instead.
He can't really see her but he feels her immediately jump into action and try to help him the way she had been doing for months now. He feels her warm touch on his back and he leans into it, sighing when he feels her help him lay back against the propped pillows.
"I'm going to go get a nurse," she says as she makes to stand up but he quickly stops her.
"There's no need. Just stay here with me," he says with slow and panted breaths.
She looks at him warily and he can see that she's unconvinced so he tugs on her hand to pull her closer to him.
"I don't need a nurse, I just want to spend some time with you," he says in a low voice that makes her heart ache that much more.
She silently nods her head slowly and watches as he slowly adjusts his position to make room for her on the tiny bed.
"Klaus what are you doing?" she instantly protests as she tries to stop him. "You need to be comfortable-"
"If I recall correctly we managed to make it work in a bed about this size all through your college dorm years, granted we were partaking in much more pleasurable activities," he says in a labored voice but with that dimpled grin that makes her fall even more in love with him.
She feels a smile tug on her lips that doesn't quite reach her eyes when she sees him pat the now open space next to him with that adorable grin still in place.
She shakes her head with a small sigh before carefully lying down next to him, trying to take up as little space as possible but he seems to know how to fix this space problem as he tugs her closer until her head is resting on his chest and her leg is tangled with his, his arm wrapped around her waist.
She breathes in his scent and feels his heartbeat against her ear and for just a moment, she can pretend that this is just like any other day at home for them.
"Rebekah came by earlier," he comments after a moment of lying there in silence.
A moment that she knew he needed to regain his breath. Even now she can hear it is still labored but at least it's steadier.
"She dropped off a present," he continues and points to the chair behind her.
She turns around and it's then she notices a deep blue gift bag and reaches over to see what appears to be two medium-sized photo albums. She opens the first one to see it's an array of pictures of him and his family, mostly him and his siblings, none of his father, that were taken throughout the years. She gushes over his baby pictures, much to his embarrassment and he quickly tries to skip over those only to cringe when they land on his adolescent ones. Feeling like he's had enough torture, he puts the book aside and she laughs while pulling out the other album and opens it to reveal a colorful cover page with individual pictures of her and Klaus as well as pictures of the two of them together.
"Have you looked at this?" she asks as she brings up her gaze to meet his.
He shakes his head and tugs her close to him again, feeling like there was too much space between them. She settles her head against his shoulder and he rests his head on top of hers as the two flip through the book together. They chuckle and make comments about some of the photos that ranged from the time they were dating, to their engagement pictures, their time being engaged, and finally, pictures of their actual wedding day.
Rebekah had created a theme for each page and had put such thought and intricate detail into every page that Caroline felt her chest tighten at the thought that her sister-in-law had taken such care and time into every detail. That it mattered this much to her.
Going through it with Klaus was bittersweet as she relived what felt like a thousand different memories with every page she turned to. She wasn't even aware of the tears that had formed in her eyes until she saw one land on one of the pages and felt Klaus immediately rub her arm soothingly and kiss the top of her head.
"That one is my favorite," he says as he points to one of the pictures on the page.
It was a candid photo taken of them after their rehearsal dinner where she has her arms wrapped around his neck and he's cradling her face and looking at her with such love it brings more tears to her eyes.
She knew why it was his favorite because as soon as she saw it, she remembered that night and what had taken place just before this picture was taken.
He had asked her to join him for a walk after the dinner while their families and wedding party were distracted. The two needed some space from the rest of the group after the disaster that the day had been and the stressful week. The two snuck off to the botanical gardens that were part of the restaurant and overlooked the ocean.
He had stopped her when they reached the end of the gardens and turned to face her with a smile that was both nervous and excited and she remembered seeing what felt like a different emotions crossing his eyes all at once.
"Do you know that since the moment I laid eyes on you I was captivated but did my best not to let it show?" he asked with his infamous smirk. "If you ever repeat this, particularly to Kol, I'll probably deny it but since I met you, there have been so many times I felt like an inexperienced teenage boy trying to woo a girl for the first time."
She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck while he instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist to draw her in closer.
"You acted like it a lot too," she teased making him narrow his eyes playfully at her. "You weren't as smooth as you thought you were."
"Is that so?" he asked with a playful smirk before he leaned in and captured her lips in a kiss that felt like it ended as soon as it began.
"I will never understand why you picked me but I will spend the rest of my days trying to prove to you that you did not make a mistake," he said in a low voice, his gaze fixed on hers so that she could see the honesty in them.
"You don't have anything to prove," she responded without hesitation as she brought down a hand to cup the side of his face. "I love you even when I don't like you. I know who you are and that's the man I choose," she continued pecking his lips lightly. "Even when it gets hard. It's always going to be you. I love you."
He responded with a blinding smile and was kissing her again before she could say anything else and when they pulled back, she could see the hint of vulnerability in his eyes.
"Just like it's always going to be you, love," he promised in a low voice. "I've always stayed ahead of the game and done well for myself and my business because I always I planned, strategized, everything was always accounted for. I took pride in seeing things coming ahead of time. You however, there was no accounting for, there was no predicting you even to this day you continue to surprise me."
She smirked and listened attentively as he continued.
"I never thought it was possible to care about someone outside of my family so much," he confessed in a voice barely above a whisper and she had to wonder if he even intended for her to hear that. "I love you, Caroline. More than you'll ever know and so long as you'll have me, I'll never let you go."
She responded with a bright smile of her own, tears forming in her eyes and now it was her turn to crash her lips against his.
Caroline still remembers that day because in some ways, those were their secret vows that they got to share with each other. It was like a secret that belonged to them alone and in a way, she had always felt like that was the start of their new chapter together.
Kol and Rebekah had gone off to look to for them and had captured this picture right after.
She looks up at him with the tears in her eyes and gives him a small smile.
"It's my favorite too," she says.
He starts to cough and pant for breath again and she does what she can to soothe him. The cough attacks keep getting worst as his body grows weaker. She tries not to think about what this means. She refuses to but in that moment, she knows she's not going to have this luxury much longer.
It isn't fair. None of it is fair. She's only had three short years with him since they exchanged their vows. Only three years since they made those promises to love each other and grow old with each other.
They're supposed to get into fights and then fuck on every surface until they can't move. They're supposed to explore places together and try new things. She hasn't even gotten him to watch "The Notebook" with her yet! She thought she had time. They were supposed to have more time. This can't be how their story ends. She refuses to believe that everything they went through, all the battles they had to face to finally be together, that this is how things will end. When they exchanged those vows she thought they had a lifetime together, not three short years.
He finally stops coughing and leans back against the pillows, the exhaustion written all over his face.
She moves to get up and get the nurse but he keeps his hold on her and refuses to let her go.
"Klaus-"
"Stay," he says in a low voice that's barely a whisper. "Stay with me."
She looks at him through the tears in her eyes and feels her heart shatter when she sees him slowly open his eyes and look at her with such sadness and exhaustion. After fighting this disease for more than a year, his body is finally ready to give in and this thought is more than she can bear.
"Please," he whispers.
She leans back and curls into him like she's done so many times before and a small sob escapes her because somehow she knows this will be the last time she gets do this.
"It's okay sweetheart," he whispers as he tightens his hold on her.
"It's not okay Klaus none of it is okay," she sobs against his chest, her small frame beginning to shake with the broken sobs escaping her.
He continues to hold her and rub her arm soothingly as he continues to whisper over and over in her ear "It's going to be okay, love I promise."
She tightens her grip around his waist, desperately clinging to him and never wanting to let him go as her tears soak through his hospital gown.
"We were supposed to have a lifetime," she whispers between a broken sob.
"I know this isn't what we signed up for but I wouldn't trade anything about the life we lived together, short as it may have been," he says in a tight and labored voice. "I love you Caroline and I'm thankful for the time I did have to love you and earn your love in return."
She tries to bury her face deeper into him when she feels him take her chin with his thumb and forefingers and tilt her face up to meet his gaze. She looks into those blue eyes that she's committed to memory and feels a new wave of tears form when she sees him looking at her with the love radiating from them. She sees him looking at her the same way he looked at her when he proposed to her and when they exchanged their vows and so many times since and in between.
He's looking at her with a look that promised her he loved her.
He would always love her.
"I would give anything to have more days with you and to take you to all those places I promised. While my time is running out, you still have your whole life ahead of you sweetheart and I need you to promise me that you're going to live it and not feel guilty about moving on."
"Klaus don't-"
"I know it hurts now, love but there's going to come a day when you won't hurt as much anymore and the day when you'll have the desire to travel and you'll have new dreams you'll want to fulfill and when that day comes, I want you to be okay with it," he says in a tight voice, the tears welling in his eyes despite his efforts. "I want you to live the life you always dreamed of Caroline, even if I don't get to be a part of it."
"Don't you dare start talking about falling in love again because I will kill you right here and right now do you hear me?" she says through tears.
He smiles but it comes out weak as his body begins to give in to the exhaustion. He gently caresses her face and wipes away some of the tears.
"You'll know when you're ready for that step, love. Just remember, there's a whole world out there waiting for you and you can experience all of it. Your story isn't over, Caroline. Not by a long shot."
She can barely see him through the tears in her eyes as she leans in and places a soft but ardent kiss against his lips that he quickly deepens allowing her access to explore every inch, every crevice of his mouth while he does the same. It's a kiss that's filled with all of their love pouring into it, all of their unspoken desires, all of their unfulfilled dreams and when they're forced to pull apart, tears are streaming down both of their faces.
She wipes away some of the tears with her thumbs and lips before resting her forehead against his and shutting her eyes as another broken sob escapes her body.
"I'll always love you," she whispers. "In this lifetime and the next. Always."
He presses a soft and gentle kiss against her forehead.
"Loving you is the best thing that happened to me," he whispers against her lips as he rests his forehead against hers.
He holds her as she curls into him and eventually, she finally stops crying. She can feel his breathing grow more shallow and she looks up to see him and somehow she knows it's almost time. She instinctively tightens her grip around his waist and he does the same she intertwines their free hands together. His eyes are closed but she knows he's awake.
"Will you wait for me?" she asks in a soft voice that's barely a whisper.
He doesn't immediately but instead brushes her wedding ring with his thumb gently.
"Always," he whispers.
She curls back into him and the two hold each other without saying another word. She holds him as he falls asleep and she continues holding him until his body finally succumbs and gives in to the disease.
One of the nurses finally peels her away from him and then she finds Elijah holding her. She buries her face into her brother-in-law's chest and clings to him as he carries her out of the room.
She had known this moment was coming but even all the time in world wouldn't have been enough to prepare her for this instant. The moment where she felt like the world was ripped out from under her.
She thinks about their last conversation and what he told her he wanted for her. She would laugh again one day and pick up new dreams while fulfilling some of the dreams they had shared together. She could promise him that but not today.
She looks down at her wedding ring and can almost feel his warm and calloused fingers gently brushing against it as fresh tears roll down her face.
"Loving you is the best thing that happened to me," she whispers. "I will always love you."
She knows in that instant that no matter how much time passes, no matter where she goes, she'll carry him with her. Today. Tomorrow.
Always.
