Summary: As Arthur, Merlin and the knights set about rebuilding Camelot after Morgana's defeat, a short break in their work gives them time for chatting up girls, philosophising and swapping tips about women. Banter and bromance...Lots of it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad it made a few people giggle. Hope you enjoy the second half, too.
Watching the Girls Go By, Part 2
Merlin was tempted to turn each of them into toads; fat, slimy toads with wicked little smirks on their stupid fat faces.
Looking up at the new faces with wide eyes, the girl seemed startled to find herself suddenly being beamed at by the group of knights who had clustered around them. She looked up at Merlin and caught him scowling at the newcomers while Arthur rocked back on his seat on the wall and chuckled to himself.
"My Lady." Gwaine swept into a low bow. "We just wanted to take the opportunity to welcome you to Camelot and to introduce ourselves. This is Lancelot, Percival, Leon and Elyan. And I'm Gwaine."
The girl smiled cautiously. "I'm pleased to meet you all. My name's Edith."
"The pleasure is all ours, isn't it, boys?" Gwaine grinned, looking around to see the others nodding warmly. "You're a friend of our Merlin's?"
The girl looked up at Merlin with a blush which was almost painful. Merlin opened and closed his mouth a few times without managing to produce a sound.
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Edith," he mediated, "allow me to introduce Merlin. Merlin, this is Edith of Miletha."
Merlin didn't know whether he wanted to thank Arthur or hit him. Slightly awkwardly, he reached out his right hand towards Edith. She placed her hand in his and Merlin grinned at her. Her hand was warm and work-worn.
"I'd really better catch up with my family," Edith murmured after a long moment. "It's been very nice talking to you, Merlin. And thank you for your advice about accommodation, uh..." She looked up at Arthur with a frown on her face. "I'm sorry; I didn't catch your name?"
"Boris," Merlin supplied urgently. "This is Boris."
The knights exchanged confused glances and Arthur looked as if he were being pushed to the edge of his patience. But rather than telling the truth, or reaching over and thumping Merlin, he forced his face into a smile and gave Edith a little wave of his hand. "Boris," he confirmed, stoically.
"Well, thank you, Boris. It's been nice meeting you all."
Merlin opened his mouth to speak, but Gwaine got in first. "You know, Camelot can be quite a hard place to find your way around when you first get here," he pointed out. "Perhaps Merlin could show you around some time?"
Merlin's eyes widened and he threw Gwaine a glare which was supposed to tell him to mind his own business but only made his grin grow wider.
"I don't want to be a bother," Edith said shyly when Merlin didn't speak.
"No!" Merlin cried out, much to the amusement of the onlookers. "No. I mean, it wouldn't be any bother. I'd be happy to show you around...if you like."
"See, Merlin's really helpful like that," Gwaine grinned. "Isn't he, boys?"
"He is indeed," Lancelot agreed, his eyes leaping with laughter.
"Although," Percival murmured, "I don't seem to remember Merlin giving me a tour when I first got here."
"Me neither," Elyan cried, folding his arms over his chest. "What's that about, Merlin?"
Arthur snorted. "I think Merlin's thinking up a few places he could tell you to go right now."
Sniggers broke out throughout the group and Merlin had to fight down the urge to give them all a magical smack across the top of their heads. He did his best to shut out every one of his troublemaking, onetime-friends and smiled encouragingly at a bewildered looking Edith.
"How about tomorrow morning? I can show you around the parts of the town which are safe to use at the moment and if your family needs anything I can see what I can do to help. Would that be alright?"
Edith smiled warmly. "Thank you, Merlin; that would be wonderful. You're sure you have the time?"
"I think Arthur could do without my advice for a couple of hours," Merlin beamed.
"I know he could," muttered Arthur.
Merlin ignored him entirely. "I'll find you tomorrow," he told Edith.
She threw smiles all around and then turned and hurried off along the path in search of her family. The group stood and sat where they were, watching until she was out of sight, at which point Merlin let out a playful growl and launched himself off the wall at Gwaine. He caught him by surprise enough to knock him backwards and for the briefest of moments Merlin had the upper hand. But the two tussled for only a short amount of time, cheered on by the shouts of laughter of Arthur and the others, before Gwaine stood up straight, Merlin's head locked conveniently under his right arm.
"Now, what kind of way is that to show your appreciation?" Gwaine laughed breathlessly, tousling Merlin's hair with his free hand while the servant boy twisted and squirmed in his effort to get free.
"Appreciation?" Merlin cried. "I'll show you appreciation!"
Merlin's fight-back provided the others with another brief spectacle until Leon, acting on a quick nod from Arthur, took pity on Merlin and freed him from Gwaine's grip with a few swift moves.
Ruffled but with a good humoured grin on his face, Merlin stood up and did his best to straighten his clothes. "And the rest of you are no better," he reprimanded. "Especially you."
Arthur gasped in mock disbelief as Merlin poked a finger in his direction and, for the second time in the last half an hour, reached out to help Merlin scale the rubble up to their perch.
"I tell you, Merlin, you and Arthur had the right idea getting a seat up here," Gwaine drawled from his new position on the section of the wrecked wall just above Arthur's head. "It gives you a great view. Did you see that woman who just walked past? There's something about a redhead that really tickles my fancy. Hardly surprising, though, considering some of the redheads I've known."
As Gwaine chuckled to himself Merlin shook his head, Elyan turned and laughed and Lancelot looked up at Gwaine disbelievingly. "Gwaine, they're refugees," he said in disgust. "Surely you draw the line at upset and destitute young women?"
Gwaine looked down at his fellow knights who had all picked out relatively comfortable spots on the fallen debris to rest their weary muscles. "Maybe they just need a handsome knight of the realm to care for them, defend them and the like?" he suggested with a wolfish grin.
That elicited groans from every one of his companions but Arthur, who was leaning back on the wall just below him with his eyes closed and his face turned to the sun. Merlin shook his head in mock outrage. "Poor girls. They're out of the frying-pan and into the fire with you on the prowl."
Gwaine flicked a small piece of mortar at Merlin. "Look who's talking! You're the one giving girls the chat the minute they walk in through the gates!"
Merlin bristled defensively. "I did no such thing!" he cried, his face colouring again as the others started laughing. "She came up to me! I was just being friendly."
"Ah well," Gwaine laughed. "We can't all set the girls swooning with our deep blue eyes, can we?"
Merlin shrugged his shoulders. "That's true," he concurred, with a mischievous smirk.
The knights on the rubble below chuckled and Gwaine threw another piece of mortar at Merlin, sending it pinging off the side of his head.
A companionable silence stretched out between them all. Clouds which had been hanging around the horizon all morning finally made their way across the sun, providing some relief for the workers below. Sir Leon stretched out his long frame somewhat stiffly.
"We should probably get back to it."
Merlin looked across to Arthur who had not moved from his position reclined against the broken section of wall. His eyes were still closed and his face relaxed. If he wasn't asleep he couldn't be far from it. Merlin turned back and looked down at Leon, nodding his head quickly in Arthur's direction.
"Not yet," he said suggested.
Leon threw Merlin an easy smile as he caught his drift and settled back against the rocks. It occurred to Merlin that it must say something about them – about Leon, about this little group they'd formed – that a senior knight would so comfortably take a direction from a lowly servant. Arthur's words as they had gathered around the Round Table had not been merely the product of a moment's emotion; he'd believed what he'd said when he spoke about their equal worth. And maybe he could even allow himself to acknowledge that it had something to do with him, Merlin, as well. He might not be much use with a sword, but he'd won the respect of everyone there even though Lancelot was the only one who had a clue just how much he'd done. Merlin grinned to himself. Yes, they definitely had a lot of respect for him.
"So, Merlin," Gwaine began, interrupting his thoughts and pelting him in the head with a piece of mortar which might actually have been big enough to have qualified as a rock, "what are your plans with the lovely Edith? You're not going to chicken out and head out on patrol with Boris here instead, are you? You looked scared out of your wits when you were talking to her. She's a girl, you know, not a three-headed beast looking to eat you for supper."
Merlin glared up at him. So much for respect. "If I looked scared it'd be because I was worried she'd notice you leering at her," he accused with a cheeky smirk.
"Leering?" Gwaine cried in mock offence. "Me? Did you hear that Sir Elyan?"
"I did, Sir Gwaine," Elyan replied, his face creased with good humour. "Outrageous."
"Merlin, I take offence!" Gwaine continued, moving his hand to rest on the hilt of his sword. "Sir Percival! What action should I take about this slur against my good name?"
Percival turned slowly to look up at them, his eyebrows raised. "Stop leering at women?" he suggested dryly.
It was Merlin's turn to laugh and the others joined in. Unexpected and pithy remarks were becoming quietly-spoken Percival's trademark and they were, more often than not, aimed in Gwaine's direction. But, unable to resist a joke even at his own expense, Gwaine just kept setting himself up, time and time again.
"Right," muttered Gwaine, fighting the grin which was spreading across his face. "Always good to know who your friends are. Never you mind, Merlin. I was just thinking that me and the boys could give you a bit of friendly advice about women, is all."
"Advice about women?" Merlin asked incredulously. "From you lot? No thanks."
"What's that supposed to mean – 'from you lot?'" Elyan asked, squinting up at Merlin.
Merlin threw out his hands. "Look at you. There isn't a girl between you!"
The knights looked around at each other with slightly doleful expressions, loath to admit the truth of Merlin's words. A few pairs of eyes came to rest upon Arthur, who was still lying back against the stones, utterly unresponsive.
"Uh uh." Merlin shook his head, piping up before anyone had a chance to say it. "Boris doesn't count. It's a miracle Gwen still has anything to do with him, and that's with me helping him out every step of the way."
"Ah well," Gwaine sighed. "Don't say we didn't offer. You'll be missing out on some real pearls of wisdom."
There was a short silence but Merlin couldn't resist. "Go on then," he sighed, knowing he was going to regret asking. "What've you got?"
"All you need to remember, Merlin," Lancelot said quickly, turning to look up at Merlin with a serious expression on his face, "is to remember to treat her like the lady she is. You need to respect the beauty in her heart; her goodness and compassion. Each woman has that inside her...some more than others."
It was almost painful to look at Lancelot just then, the earnestness of his words and his solemnity; the way his eyes lit briefly upon Arthur's form before he looked back down at his hands.
Elyan must have felt the awkwardness too, because he spoke up quickly. "Flowers. You can never go wrong with flowers. Women just seem to have a...thing about them."
"Be a good listener," Percival suggested simply, drawing a smile from Merlin.
"Stay on the good side of her mother and father," Leon suggested. "It won't matter how much she likes you if her parent don't."
Merlin waited a beat before looking up at Gwaine, the only one still to make a suggestion despite being the instigator of the conversation. He raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"All good, all good," Gwaine nodded approvingly. "For myself, when it comes to women, I live by one simple rule...never make a spur of the moment decision after five hours in the tavern – she might not be such a looker in the morning."
A collection of groans filled the air and Merlin flicked a pre-prepared piece of stone up at Gwaine. "That's about all the advice I can take," he laughed.
"Don't you want to hear mine?" Arthur asked, startling Merlin and drawing everyone's attention. He was still lying back on the wall and had only one eye cracked open to peer at Merlin. "It's what my father told me when he caught me looking sideways at Sir Ordric's daughter when I was thirteen."
"Oh, I've got to hear this," Gwaine grinned, leaning forward in his seat. "Birds and the bees advice from Uther Pendragon!"
"Alright, let me see if I can get it just right." Arthur sat himself up awkwardly and let his head hang back as he thought. When he spoke, his tone was dry but he had a grin hanging about his lips at the memory. "He sat me down in his chambers one evening, gave me a glass of wine, rested his hands on my shoulders and said: 'Arthur, I'm about to tell you everything you need to know about women: get her with child and I'll have your head on a platter.'"
The mirth that had been rising in Merlin as he watched Arthur tell his story broke into unrestrained laughter and Gwaine was so amused it took a steadying hand from Arthur to stop him falling from his lofty perch.
They were still laughing when Gwen appeared, looking up at them with an expression half bemusement and half relief. Merlin knew what she must be thinking. It had been too long since there was much laughter in Camelot. He felt as though they'd achieved more sitting around for half an hour than they had in the whole morning of work.
"Arthur, Geoffrey needs to see you in the throne room, if you have the time," she said, regretfully. "I think he and some other members of the council want to have another try at convincing you to take the regency. And there's a messenger waiting for you. Apparently the grain supplies from the northern borders have been delayed. And," she smiled at him apologetically as her list of problems grew, "we need your permission to turn the Great Hall into temporary accommodation – we've run out of room everywhere else."
The smile had fallen from the Prince's face and Merlin felt his stomach drop. Back to reality.
Arthur let out a sigh, smiled weakly at Gwen and clambered to his feet, one hand on Merlin's shoulder. He negotiated his way down the rubble and between his knights with two careful leaps, landing neatly before Gwen.
"Thank you, Guinevere." He reached out with his hand and squeezed her arm in a familiar gesture before he turned back to them.
"Get everyone back on with the sorting those stones and I'll be back when I can. Stay here Merlin," he added. "But don't try to move any more bricks. You'd be even less use to me dead, if that's possible. Just...supervise or something."
Merlin grinned at the vague wave of Arthur's hand.
"I'll send more men along if I can scare any up. Lancelot, you're leading the patrol this evening, so don't forget to go and get some rest soon. I need you alert."
He set of walking at Gwen's side, heading towards the castle, and Merlin and the knights began to pull themselves to their feet, stretch their backs stiffly. They stopped, however, when they heard Arthur call out again.
"Oh, and Gwaine." He was walking backwards, his eyes once again full of mirth. "Leave Merlin alone. I know you're bored but if you bait him too much he gets all frazzled and overwrought."
"It's never stopped you," Merlin called.
The Prince grinned and turned to keep walking next to Gwen, the crowds of people in the street who knew well enough slipping respectfully out of their way.
"Right, you heard the man," Elyan announced, looking wearily towards the massive piles of unsorted stones. "Let's get back to it."
Merlin slipped the rest of the way down towards the ground and adjusted his rolled up sleeves. Percival and Leon eyed him disbelievingly as he moved to take his place in the chain.
"I thought Arthur told you to sit this out," Leon observed.
"Pfft," Merlin breathed disparagingly. "Moving a few stones is hardly going to kill me."
Four boulders later, Merlin was reconsidering the embroidery.
A/N: So there it is. I hope you enjoyed it. I had so much fun writing it I'm considering writing one or two more stories about 'the gang' as they settle into their new positions in Camelot. I'll see how they turn out. Thanks for reading.
