"Mary? Could you come down and give me a hand please?" Ma called up to the loft.

Mary peeked her head around the stone chimney which blocked off the loft from the rest of the house. "Yes, Ma. I'll be down in a minute."

Satisfied, Ma went back to her duties in the kitchen. Mary sat at the desk where she did her homework and studying during the week and tied her hair ribbons on Sunday. The desk she shared with Laura. She examined her facial features from the line of her jaw to the rounded tip of her nose. Her long blonde hair was pinned back with her favorite hair clip. Mary's hair was the same color as Ma's; her blue eyes were the same shade as Ma's. Where his eyes like his Ma's? Or perhaps more like his Pa. No matter, as his eyes were a beautiful shade of green, while hers were just blue. Plain old boring blue. When she looked into his eyes she often found herself getting lost in them, seeing waves of the green prairie grasses in the spring time. Often times she had to snap back to reality before he caught her staring too long. His expression had a certain kindness Mary never saw in a man before. He looked at her differently than Pa did, then Doc Baker and the Reverend did. Was it right to call a man's eyes beautiful? Mary couldn't find the right way to explain how she felt about them, but no matter. Mary placed her brush back on the desk and climbed down the ladder to assist Ma with dinner.

"What would you like me to do, Ma?"

"Well, the apples for the pie need to be sliced. Would you do that while I finished in here?"

Mary brought the bowl of apples to the table so she could cut them into pieces for the pie. She sat in silence for a spell, contemplating.

"Ma?" she finally said. "Do you – do you think I look like you?"

Ma twirled around to face Mary, wiping her floury hands on her pale yellow apron. "I reckon so, Mary. Everyone always says so. Why do you ask, darlin'?"

"Oh… just something I heard someone say once. Do you think Laura takes after Pa?"

"Is there something bothering you, Mary?"

"No, Ma. Just had a lot on my mind, I guess."

"Well then. How about you finish kneading slicing the apples and I'll finish kneading the bread and we'll have a night hot dinner for Pa when he gets home, huh?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm nearly finished." Mary sat very still at the table while she finished her work. So many thoughts ran through her mind. For weeks she felt this way. She wasn't sure what it was exactly… she never felt this way before. Not even with John Jr. It perplexed her in ways she didn't understand. Mary questioned everything she thought she knew about the matter. She pondered on the matter and wondered if she ought to speak with Ma about her concerns but she couldn't find the words to say. The exact words she was looking for escaped her at the moment. Laura was a good listener, but Mary was sure Laura never felt this way. In fact, she was sure Laura never had. Oh! What should she do?


Come Sunday, Mary was more confused than ever before. Ma had allowed her to pull back her hair in a knot for church, to try something different. She wasn't a small child any more and didn't need to leave her hair so loose. It wasn't proper for a young lady to do so. As she climbed the church steps with her family, Doctor Baker and Reverend Alde were conversing about the day's sermon.

"Why Mary! You look just like your Ma with your hair like that!" declared Reverend Alden.

Ma smiled at Mary as Pa agreed. "The Reverend certainly is right, I'd say."

Mary's cheeks blushed a bright shade of pink. "Thank you Reverend Alden."

"Don't grow up on us too fast Mary. Why, just yesterday your family arrived in Walnut Grove. I remember when your Pa's wagon pulled in and out of the back popped two little heads. One blonde as the corn in summer time, the other as brown as bear fur. Today you're all grown up lookin'. Tomorrow you'll be chasing your young'uns around!"

If Mary's face was pink before, it flushed deep scarlet now. Pa laughed his deep, hearty laugh as they all moved into the church to begin their Sunday service. Pa's laugh reminded her of him, brought back memories. The way he threw his head back when he laugh when was really happy, the way he chuckled when he was amused by something she said to him, how he flashed his pearly white teeth at her when he laughed her most favorite laugh. The one that gave her butterflies in her stomach.

Mary shook her head to clear her mind and followed Laura to their usual spot in the front pew.


Laura and Mary were in the loft, preparing for bed. Laura drew her night gown over her head, waiting for Mary to be through at the mirror. She observed her sister for a few moments before deciding she needed to add to the conversation which took place on Sunday. She had remained silent through the exchange between her sister and some of her family's dearest friends but she couldn't help but smile at how true it was.

"You know… you really do have Ma's likeness. Sometimes when I come in from the chores and see you standing at the table preparing dinner… I even think you're Ma!"

Mary ceased brushing her silky hair and glanced at Laura, who was standing behind her, through the mirror. "Laura, if you're trying to get my dander up…"

"No, I mean it! I used to be jealous of you when we were little because you were always so good all the time. You could sew perfect little stiches and never had to take them out to redo them. You would do whatever Ma told you too and never made a fuss. And you're so smart! Just like Ma. I think you're going to be the best teacher when you're old enough. Now when I think about it I see it is just because you are just like Ma. I guess I'm more like Pa in the way I look and being as I'm such a tomboy, but that suites me just fine."

"Someone like Ma…" Mary whispered very softly.

"What was that?" Laura wondered.

Mary bound out of her chair and flung her arms around Laura's neck.

"Oh Laura! Thank you! Thank you!"

A startled and confused Laura simply patted Mary's back and murmured a welcome to her sister. Mary bounded into bed after she donned her nightcap.

"C'mon Laura! The sooner we get to sleep the sooner morning will be here!" she exclaimed, bouncing a little bit with excitement. The sooner morning got here the sooner she could talk to Ma about everything… starting from the very beginning.

"What are you so excited for? We have school in the morning," moaned Laura.

"Oh don't be such a sour puss! I promise I'll explain it all to you when I have it figured out."

"All right, all right. I still don't see why you're so excited about morning getting here."

"Go to sleep Laura!"

"Aren't you two asleep yet?" Pa asked as he climbed the last of the ladder and stepped into the loft.

"We were just going to sleep, Pa," Mary explained. Pa kissed each one of his girls on the cheek and tucked the blankets around their chins. He wished them sweet dreams and went downstairs.

Mary did dream sweet dreams that night. For the first time in weeks she slept a full night, dreaming about a man with light brown hair.