Holy Shit. I'm back. I came back to life. Because I got bored. Alright.

"If that assmunch thinks he's getting away with that…" Roxas grumbled, setting up a trap. He was actually putting the finishing touch on a prank "gauntlet" to get back at Axel. It would be a start, but he wouldn't be done with Axel for a while. He had the trap adjusted perfectly right as he heard Axel whistling from down the hall. Roxas dove into a nearby closet, the darkness hurting his eyes because of the transition from the stark white walls.

He watched in anticipation as the redhead passed by. He knew his trap had worked when he heard a yell, and ran from the closet, making sure he got Axel's attention.

"Got'cha bitch!" He yelled at the now pissed Axel, who was covered in a substance better left to the imagination. Axel roared and gave chase, just as Roxas knew he would. Roxas led he though a series of traps, each of which attacked him in a whole new way. Roxas eventually stopped, turned around and laughed at the now fully and utterly pranked Axel, whose only response was a breathy muttering of the words "you little bitch".

Axel knew what this was for, and by that logic he knew it wasn't over. What he didn't expect, was his life would be complete and utter hell for the next couple weeks.

The next morning, Axel's fears were confirmed when awoke to find a homeless man, who was frequently found outside the castle, in his bed. It was quite obvious that they had, for whatever ungodly reason, had had sex. Unprotected sex. Axel responded to this outrage with an outcry of "Motherfucker!", directed toward a certain asshole who had just started a war.

He wanted a war? He has one, goddamn it.

Axel pondered outright slaughtering the boy, possibly a combination of fileting him with his own keyblade after raping him with it, but he decided against this. He has to suffer.

So, Axel went on a mission of revenge, deciding on the only payback fitting for this offense. Make him fuck something worse.

"I know someone who just might work." He said, seemingly to the very disinterested homeless man who was still in his bed.

A day later, Roxas awoke to find a bedmate so much worse than a disease-ridden, homeless drug addict. Marluxia.

A scream of 'you son of a bitch, I will destroy all you can ever hope to live for, eat it, and shit it on your chest' could be heard through the castle. Axel knew his plan had worked, but wasn't prepared for the confrontation between them later.

"Marluxia? Marluxia?" Roxas yelled at Axel as he approached, "That's too far! Not cool, man! At least the homeless guy didn't try to rape you again after you woke up!"

"As much as I'm sure this is a vital conversation, I ask that you take it somewhere else." Xemnas stated, very factually and not expecting resistance. But Axel wasn't gonna take a complaint without responding.

"Swivel on it, shithead. We've got to finish this. Roxas, that guy had HIV, you're lucky I didn't catch somethi-"

Xemnas cut him off by shoving him into a wall, cracking him into it a couple times. "Listen, char-brain. You don't insult me. You don't." They met eyes. "If you ever do again, I'll string you and the walking hay bale up by your left nut, and leave you there until it comes off. Get me?" Axel just nodded, slightly frightened by Xemnas' threats. He always seemed like the kind who would never do shit.

"Ok… Let's leave, Roxas." The blonde was wide-eyed and simply followed suit.

After the pair retreated to a safer location, they resumed their argument.

"So, why the hell did you start coming after me like you had a vengeance for blood? A did you a goddamn favor!" Axel started in suddenly.

"A favor? You're shitting me." Roxas replied, obviously owning a different viewpoint. "You had me under your control and forced me to rape an innocent girl!"

"Rape? Nuh-uh. She seemed to be enjoying it as much as you. Besides, I wasn't controlling you, your real version was. You know, Sora? Apparently, kid's into some kinky shit." As if to prove his point Naminé skipped by, winking at Roxas as she did.

"Yeah, but- wait, did you say you weren't- but then…" Roxas stumbled over his thoughts as he sorted things out. Eventually he had something comprehensible to say. "How do you figure that was a favor?"

Axel just laughed, wondering how the kid was so dumb. "Because I helped your virgin ass get some. You owe me for that shit."

"I guess." Then there was silence. "So how the hell did you engineer that whole stunt?"

Axel smirked. "Pure. Damn. Luck. You can't plan that shit, it just happens. Nice job with the homeless guy, glad I didn't get HIV, though."

"Nice comeback with Marluxia. That shit was ingenious."

Axel looked away. "So. We cool?"

Roxas nodded. "Yep."

They sat.

Axel spoke. "Wanna go fuck with Xemnas?"

"Hell yes." And so they did.

Hope you all are happy. Consider this an aftermath/epilogue/closing. Regardless, I felt there was enough request for a continuation. Unfortunately, there is no way in hell I'm taking it further than this. It's been too long for me to get characters right over a longer story line. Also, I've fucked up my typing like five times in just this authors' note. So thanks and bye. Get the fuck out of my house.