I swallowed past the lump that had formed in my throat. I was four blocks from Jacob's house and a few teens from the La Push High passed my truck, throwing punches and catching laughs. I shook myself and started my truck again, an anger rising in my throat. This was childish. I was going to see my best friend. My best friend I couldn't live without.
His last words echoed in my mind, misting my eyes. I pulled out into the road and drove those last four blocks.
"You know I love you,"
"I know," He breathed, his arm tightening automatically around my waist. "You know how much I wish it were enough."…
I leaned in and kissed his face softly. "I love you Jacob,"
He laughed lightly. "Love you more,"
I nearly had to pull over again.
Jacob's house was coming up on my left and fast. I started to take in gulps of air, large ones and in spurts, until dizziness overwhelmed me.
I was turning into is drive way and I saw the curtains shift. Billy.
I parked my truck and got out, the gravel crunching under my sneaker soles. I wobbly tottered up the wooden steps and knocked on the door.
It took only a few moments for Billy to open the door and greet me with a dubious smile. "Hello Bella. What a… unexpected surprise," Billy moved to the side so I could enter. I squeezed into the cramped house and looked at Billy.
"Jake'll be out in a few minutes." Billy wheeled into the living room and I followed. I sat on the ripping couch, leaning against some over stuffed pillows. Billy asked how everything was and what Charlie was up to. I answered, putting as much detail in it as I could.
Then I heard him. His door opened down the hall and I nearly scrambled up and darted out the door. But I didn't, I sat and watched the door expectantly.
I nearly started crying again when his frame appeared in the doorway. His eyes were dark and accusing. He was scowling until he saw me, then he started sniffing the air. I choked back a sob; he was making sure I was still human. He watched my face, waiting for me to talk.
I opened my mouth then closed it. What was I supposed to say? Just came by to rub it in your face that I'm getting married. "I want to talk to you," I mumbled, trying to make sure my lower lip didn't tremble. Without seeing if I was following Jacob stumbled out the front door. I took a deep breath and followed, his back was hunched making him look tense and uncomfortable.
I was about to say something but he beat me to it and grumbled. "Did you just come by to say how much you hate me?" He kept his eyes down cast, refusing to meet mine. My heart swelled and I bit my lip.
"No," I whispered. "I came by to make sure you came tomorrow," I regretted them as soon as they left my mouth, I wanted to suck my words back in. His head shot up.
"Oh, so even better, you wanted to ground my face in the fact that you chose the blood sucker over me," He huffed, running his hands through his now buzz cut hair. Jake scratched his neck and looked at me. I couldn't hold it in any longer. The tears poured down my cheeks as I answered.
"This is one of the most important days of my life. I want my best friend to be there. Jake, I need you there." His bark of laughter sounded harsh and angry to my ears.
"If you needed me so much why did you chose the rock?" That cut me and I staggered back a step.
"Jake, please don't be like this," It was starting to rain and it was soaking us both. Jake wasn't bothered by it, but I couldn't tell if I was crying anymore.
"Bella," He hissed. "You chose him. I can't be there when you practically kill yourself. I'm not going to be a witness." He looked to the trees as if they held all the answers. I followed his gaze and watched the trees. I didn't have an answer for that.
"I'm sorry Bella," Jacob said quietly. "I'm sorry, but I can't come," With that he turned and headed to the house. I cried out to him and he turned. I ran to him and looked him in the eyes. I pulled his head to mine and placed his forehead against mine.
Our noses touched.
