Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue!
Premise: 3 x 13 Predictions
Lyrics: Jeanette Lindström/(c) 2009 Music Box Publishing
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***Sorry…I know that I said the next chapter would be Sam & Collins, but it was getting too long and I divided it in half. I just called this "At the Station" because it's about stuff that happens at the station! :o) Sam & Collins is next!

No Regrets - At the Station

We went walking along the water
Evening sky in gold
Stories yet untold

"He escaped from our division and we're gonna get him."

Sam barely heard the staff sergeant as he addressed the officers on parade. His eyes were on Andy. She'd been beaten up pretty bad by that sick prick, Jon Gray, earlier this morning. Her face was cut and bruised, but that wasn't the worst of it. Andy was taking it hard, Sam knew. She was blaming herself. He wanted to stand beside her-to protect her. He wanted to reach out and touch her-to feel her skin under his fingertips. He wanted to move, but he didn't.

I let her down. I wasn't there. I let Jerry down. Andy, Jerry, and Sara, too. I let Sara down, too. Everyone. Everyone who's ever loved me. Trusted me.

He watched Andy as she stood in front of him. As she stood surrounded by the other officers-her friends. As she stood alone. Alone in her grief. Sam understood that. He'd been grieving most of his life.

"Sara? Sara?" The young boy called out into the darkness. There was no reply, so the boy began walking down the sidewalk. Ahead, within the shadow of a dim street lamp, the boy saw a small, cowering figure surrounded by three other, larger ones. "Sara" he yelled again as he began to run closer. One of the large figures turned to him and the boy saw that the figure had a face-that the figure was a man. He should have been afraid. He was afraid, but that didn't stop him. He ran closer still. His heart was racing. "Sara?" Then, he was close enough to hear the sobbing. To see the tangled mess of black hair. His sister's coat. A red coat. His sister's cries. Sara. He heard laughter, too. It was coming from the figures-the men. "Get out of here…your sister's busy," one of them laughed as he shoved the boy aside. The boy tripped and landed hard on the pavement. He tried to break his fall and scraped his palms and wrists on the concrete. From the ground, the boy grabbed fistfuls of rocks. He began to throw them at the men. A bottle. A large piece of broken cement. His hands ached. He ran at one of the men. Kicked him and clawed with his fingers. The man responded by beating the boy in the face-knocking him to the ground. While the first man began to kick the boy, a second grabbed a piece of the broken bottle the boy had thrown. "No!" The girl cried out in grief. "Leave him alone. He's only a little boy. You can have me, see? It's fine. Sammy, go home now," her voice shook with sobs. "Go home and I'll be home, too, in a little while. It will only be a little while."

"Shaw and Diaz…Epstein and McNally…Swarek and Collins…" Frank was reading off the list of partners. Sam was with Nick.

"Sir, I think that we should…" Nick began to say as he approached Sam.

"Collins, I'll meet you outside," Sam interrupted before he turned to walk after Andy. She was already halfway out the door.

"Hey, brother. Don't worry, we're gonna get that…" Oliver took one look at his friend and decided to leave his sentence unfinished.

Sam continued to follow Andy down the hallway. If she knew that he was walking after her, she didn't show it. When he finally caught up to her, he placed his hand on her shoulder to stop her and turn her around. "Andy," he said quietly. The heart in his chest sank when she shrank away from his touch. She stayed, though. Stayed and looked up at him.

It might have been better if she just kept walking, Sam thought. The look she gave him broke his heart.

"What do you need, Officer Swarek? " she asked trying to make her voice as cold and angry as she possibly could. Her eyes betrayed her, though. They were not angry. They were sad and tired. Sad, tired, and wet-as if the tears were just sitting on the edge, waiting to fall. Sam knew that he had helped put them there, and that made him angry. He had never meant to do that. He had promised to never leave her without a fight, and it had been a fight. It still was. With himself. He had been fighting hard every day to put distance between them. To keep her safe and to save himself.

"Sam, what do you want?" She asked again.

"I…I just wanted to, uh"

Say that I love you. Say that you're too good for me. That you're the sun and I'm the shadow. That you deserve the world and that all I could ever do is bring you down. That I'm afraid to ever let you know me, because you would probably still love me. Love me and stay when you should run.

Sam stood with his mouth opened unable, for a few long moments, to finish his sentence. "Say that it wasn't your fault. You did everything right, you know? So, don't blame yourself." Then, realizing the double-meaning of his words, he added "we'll find him."

Andy offered no response. She looked at Sam hard for a moment and then turned to leave. He let her go.

The sun was bright when he stepped outside, so Sam put on his glasses. It made for a good excuse, anyway. The ride with Nick would be uncomfortable. Lately he and Andy had been spending a lot of time together and Sam wasn't quite sure what that meant.

"Get in," Sam ordered curtly and the younger officer moved to the passenger's side. Sam scanned the parking lot for Andy. She was with Dov. Great, Sam thought to himself as he considered Dov's ability to keep her safe. With a heavy breath, Sam ducked into the driver's seat.

"Were going to Gray's last known residence," Sam informed the other officer. Nick nodded. It would take about fifteen minutes to make the trip, Sam knew. In silence the cruiser pulled out from the station.

***To be continued...***
Next chapter, No Regrets - Sam & Collins