A/N: I just want to say one thing about all of you readers. WOW! Thank you all so much! You guys are incredible! I had nineteen reviews mere hours after I posted the story! I wrote as quickly as I could to get this chapter up and I really hope you guys like it! And thanks bunches for catching my math mistake. As you can tell, I'm a writer, not a mathematician. I hope that it is spelled right. Anyway, thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews. You guys are amazing! I love you all! Anyway, here's chapter two! I hope that I did Bella as much justice as you guys think I did Edward!

Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are not mine. No matter how much I might be like Bella.


The Very Blackest Kind of Blasphemy

Chapter Two: Hallucinatory Experiences?

I couldn't move. I was frozen on the spot. Time seemed to stand still. He was crouched on the ground, despairing. He wants... me? I felt nothing but shock at the knowledge that suddenly hit me. Edward Cullen wanted me? How could he want me now? Did he change his mind?

"Edward?" I managed to choke out, unable to believe my eyes. He looked up at me, his eyes dark with thirst. He looked as shocked as I felt.

"Bella..." he whispered in return, rising from the ground.

How could he be here? Why was he here? He had said he didn't care. He had said he did not want me. Yet, I knew that he wanted me now. I knew, because of my gift, that Edward truly did want me. It didn't make sense to me. Why would he come back after so long and suddenly want me again? It made no sense!

Then I understood what was happening. It explained everything: why he was here in our meadow, why I knew he wanted me, why he was here, today of all days.

"Oh God," I whispered, throwing my hands over my eyes. "I'm hallucinating again!"

There was no way this could be real. No possible way. It was too coincidental. What were the odds that Edward would return to Forks today, the only day out of three hundred and sixty-five that I ever came back to this place? Where would it be possible in anywhere but my mind that Edward still wanted me despite what he said? That he still loved me despite what he said?

Some things didn't match up however. For one, I always had hallucinations when something bad happened or when I was doing something reckless. I was doing neither at the moment. Second, all my hallucinatory Edwards were always either angry at me for my recklessness or soothing in my pain. If this Edward was a hallucination, why was he in pain? Third, in my hallucinations my gift never told me what Edward wanted. Fourth, my hallucinatory Edwards always had golden eyes; they were never thirsty.

Despite these differences, I was still certain that I was hallucinating. It was just too good to be true. It felt like my dreams were being handed back to me on a silver platter.

I gasped quietly when his cold hands, no longer freezing against my equally icy skin, wrapped gently around my wrists. He pulled my hands from my face and his liquid onyx eyes bore into my own. My breath caught in my throat when I recognized his smoldering gaze that had a hint of shock and confusion in them.

"If anyone's hallucinating it's me." he whispered quietly, his angelic voice rough with pain. "Bella... is it really you?" One of his hands stayed enclosed around mine as the other came up to gently caress my cheek. Shock seemed to fill me as I suddenly knew he wanted to kiss me.

"Yes." I whispered, knowing I was having difficulty with coherency. "Is... is it really you? Are you really here?" I desperately wanted this to be real. Every moment that passed I became less and less sure that I was hallucinating. How could my subconscious come up with something as vivid as this? I am not nearly this imaginative. Slowly, I extricated my hands from his grasp. I lifted one hand to cup his cheek, stroking the skin there. My other hand entwined itself with his, trapping his hand in my grasp.

He nodded silently and I could see that he was choked up. He wants to know what happened. He wants to know how I'm a vampire. I suddenly knew.

"It was Laurent." I whispered, moving forward slightly and tucking my head under his chin, my forehead pressed against his icy skin. I let my hand slide from his face to his chest, gripping his shirt tightly. "I was searching for the meadow and... it was late... he came out of nowhere. He said that Victoria was after me, that she wanted to kill me. Laurent said that I should be happy he was the one who would kill me and not here. That it would be quick and less painful than what Victoria would do to me. He bit me and I know he was going to kill me, but... he got scared."

"Scared?" Edward asked incredulously, pain still in his voice. "Scared of what?"

"The La Push werewolves." I whispered, breathing in his scent. It was even sweeter than I remembered. "Some of the boys in La Push started... embracing their inner-wolf after you and your family returned. They chased him off and managed to kill him. They wanted to kill me too, when they saw I had been bitten but Jacob Black stopped them. He wouldn't let them kill me. He wouldn't speak to me again so I don't know why, but..." I trailed off. I could feel that Edward had tensed every one of his muscles and was shaking. I looked up at him and felt pain. His eyes were clenched shut and his face was screwed up in pain and guilt. He was in so much pain that I felt like someone was stabbing me. I ran my hand through his hair, trying to soothe him, and kissed his chin gently. "Don't blame yourself. Please. It's not your fault. It was stupid of me to go out in the woods alone."

"It's still my fault." he whispered, his angelic voice choked in pain. He opened his eyes and looked down at me, stroking my hair and my cheek. His eyes were full of so much hurt, so much pain that it looked as if he were about to fall apart. "I should have been here." he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against mine, moving his hand from my face to the back of my neck, holding me to him. "I shouldn't... I never should have left, Bella. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I can't say it enough. I just... I didn't... I only wanted..." He trailed off, unable to continue.

And I knew. I knew that he only wanted me to be safe. I knew that he had only wanted me to be as happy as I possibly could. I knew that he had thought I could be happier without him. I knew that he had never wanted to hurt me. I knew that he had never wanted to actually leave. I knew that he had desperately wanted to return to me every second for the past eighty years. I knew that he had only ever wanted me, that he had only ever loved me.

I felt so complete with this knowledge, so whole. I no longer cared if this was real or a hallucination. I was with Edward and he wanted me. It didn't matter if it was only a result of my subconscious as long as I could stay here.

"I know, Edward." I whispered to him. "I understand."

He shook his head, his face still contorted in pain. "No, you can't know. I hurt you so much, Bella. I just..."

"Edward, look at me." I commanded of him quietly. His onyx eyes, filled to the brim with pain gazed at me. "I do know. You only wanted me to be safe. You just wanted me to be happy and thought I could be happier without you. I know that you didn't want to leave and that you wanted to come back... I know that you want me, Edward. Trust me, I know."

I could see that he was confused know. "But... how... How do you know that?"

I grinned at him softly. "You and your brother and sister aren't the only ones with gifts." I told him. Understanding filled his face and I knew he wanted to know what my gift was. "I know what people want. I can't explain it, I just... know. If I want to I can change what they want. I... I hate doing it, though. It feels all wrong."

Suddenly tension was in the air. I suddenly knew again that Edward wanted to kiss me. I grinned at him and wrapped my arms around my neck, pulling him against me. I felt a rush of pleasure that I was strong enough to hold him prisoner against me.

"Do you know what I want now?" he asked teasingly, the pain disappearing from his eyes for a moment. I felt myself tremble when he grinned at me crookedly. God did I love that smile.

"You want to kiss me." I told him quietly, trying to mask the way that he was turning me into mush in his very capable hands. Everything was silent for many moments and we just gazed in each other's eyes. Eventually I felt impatience that he wasn't moving. "Well?" I demanded obstinately, wanting to feel his lips against mine as much as he did.

He chuckled and I felt dizzy from the musical noise. His voice was like nothing else I had ever heard in my life. At a painfully slow pace, he moved closer to me. I could tell that he was teasing me and I moved my hands subtly to the back of his neck and brought his lips upon mine.

It felt like heaven, to be kissing Edward again. I felt myself trembling slightly in his arms and I was shocked by this. Vaguely, I knew that Edward wanted more and I could not disagree. His lips moved over mine like icy fire and I held myself to his body which seemed to fit against mine like a puzzle piece. I felt moaned as his tongue slipped out and traced my lips. I felt rather than heard the growl that resonated deep within his chest. He wants-

I jumped abruptly as something in Edward's pocket vibrated. He pulled away, swearing, his expression furious. He pulled out his phone and opened it, still holding me against him. I wondered vaguely who I had to kill for interrupting us.

"What is it, Alice?" he asked angrily. My desire for homicide faded away and I tried not to laugh, knowing that Edward wanted to do what my mind had just abandoned.

"You know what!" I could hear her exclaim impatiently. "Let me talk to her!"

Edward glared at the trees behind me, his eyes like dark fire. "Alice, do you have any idea-" I laughed then and took the phone from him.

"Hello, Alice." I greeted happily, positively gleeful that I was speaking to Alice again.

"Bella! I was right; I did see you in the meadow with Edward! How could I not see you become a vampire? It doesn't make any sense! I should have seen something like that coming! I'm so glad you're not dead, though. Well, technically speaking that is. Did Edward apologize for being such an idiot and leaving you? He's been a mess the past eighty years, don't let him fool you. Speaking of which, how have you been? What have you been doing? What-" Alice talked at top speed and I had to interrupt to get a word in.

"Alice, slow down!" I laughed, unable to stop smiling. "I can't answer any of your questions if you don't let me get a word in!"

"I'm sorry, Bella, it's just so good to see you again! Well, hear you right now. I saw you a few minutes ago but-" she exclaimed and continued at top speed.

"I know, Alice. It's good to hear you too." I answered. It felt like I was at home for the first time in eighty years. I was in Edward's arms and talking to Alice. I knew that Edward wanted me to hang up so we could continue our... previous activities. I also knew that he wanted to take me home, to Denali to see his family. At the moment, my life could not be more perfect.

"I'll see you soon, Bella! Don't be too slow, okay? I miss you!" I smiled softly at the pure excitement in her voice.

"Okay, see you soon, Alice. I miss you too." No sooner had I hung up the phone that Edward's lips claimed mine once more. The phone slipped from my fingers and I twisted my hands into his tousled auburn hair. I pressed myself as close to him as I could, gripping him to me. I clung to him tightly, kissing him greedily. I suddenly felt relief for the fact that vampires had no need to breathe. I could kiss Edward as long as I wanted and have no need to pull away.

Had I thought life couldn't be more perfect? I was wrong. Dead wrong. Edward slipped his hands down from my hair to caress my back, sliding down further to grip my waist and proceeding to my hips. I knew what he wanted and I knew that I wanted it just as much as he did.

Then he ripped away his lips from mine. I staggered slightly, something I had not done since I was human. I felt confusion. Why did Edward pull away? He still wanted me, so why did he pull away? I knew that he didn't want to pull away, but why did he?

"Edward, what...?" I trailed off, feeling off-balance. I clutched his shoulders so as to anchor myself. "What did you do that for?" I demanded, angry that he had pulled away. My angry vanished as he grinned at me crookedly, kissing my temple.

"Bella, now may not be the best time for that certain activity. I would not put it past Alice to call again if she saw we were not moving as quickly as she would like." he told me softly, his hand running through my hair. Slowly, he pulled me closer to him and buried his face in my hair, inhaling deeply. "You still smell so good." he whispered and I felt confusion. I had thought it was the scent of my blood that had smelled so heavenly to him.

"What?"

He must have understood my confusion because he answered my unspoken question. "Your blood called to me, Bella, but it wasn't just your blood that smelled heavenly." He pulled away slightly and grasped my hand in his. "Come on, we better not keep Alice waiting."

I smiled at him. "No, we wouldn't want that." Before he could turn away, I claimed his lips for the smallest moment and pulled away. I grinned at his expression before pulling him along after me so we could locate a car to get us to Denali.


A/N: Thanks for reading guys! If you could review, I would be thankful but if not I understand! I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. Oh, and I just want to let everyone know that this won't be a very long fanfiction. Maybe two or three more chapters depending on how it goes. Thanks for reading!

xoxoxo KT