The last time we had a party I was eight. It was right after Gretl's birth and Father decided to take some time off his business and relax with his family. Naturally, the first thing he and Mother decided to do was host a huge party.

We were all excited. Or at least, those of us old enough to understand what was happening were excited. That meant, of course that Marta, at two, and Gretl being a newborn had no idea what was going on. Brigitta, even at five could comprehend that was occurring was a major event. After all, she notices everything.

Oh, all except for me. I was sick with scarlet fever. I had to stay in bed for the entire party! Even Gretl saw more of it than I did, as Mother brought her down to care for her. But I was sick and I felt horrible. But even so, it wasn't as horrible as I felt in the following months.

Within a week of the party, Mother started displaying symptoms of scarlet fever. A week after that it was obvious she had caught the illness from me. And within a month she had died.


So that was my secret. My siblings all knew about it, but we never spoke of it. So naturally, I never told the governess. But as soon as the Baroness had proclaimed Father must throw a party, my heart had sunk to my shoes.

I stayed in the bathroom long after everybody else had gone to sleep, watching my tears drip steadily into the basin. It must have been an hour at least before I heard a knock from outside.

"Louisa," said the musical voice of Fraulein Maria. "Are you alright?"

I unintelligibly sobbed in response. The door opened and in walked my governess. She bent down beside me and put her hand on my shoulder, as if I were Gretl's age.

"What's wrong?" she asked again. "Your father seems to think the Baroness's idea to hold a party is a great."

After that I could stand it no longer. I began to sob once again. My knees buckled and I collapsed into Fraulein Maria's lap, burying my head in her skirt.

"Louisa, it's only a party," she said sweetly. "What's so fearsome about that?"

My mind brimmed with images of my mother and I began to cry again. But I couldn't keep crying forever; I knew that. If Father heard me and came to investigate, I would be punished severely. If I was feeling upset about my mother, my Father's reactions would a thousand times worse.

"It's about your mother, isn't it?" she asked. I looked up at her big eyes, full of genuine concern and worry for me. That's when it all became crystal clear; I trusted her. I loved her and she loved me back. Fraulein Maria was different from the other governesses. I could tell her anything.

Brushing a tear out of my eye, I nodded sadly.

She led me over to a bench against the wall and sat me down, before sitting down beside me and wrapping her arms around my body.

"Louisa," she said. "You're trembling. Now tell me what's on your mind. Please."

I heaved again, and unable to stop myself, the story spilled out. Within ten minutes Fraulein Maria knew everything that had been rolling around in my head ever since my mother died.

"I lost my parents too, you, know," she told me. "Louisa, you know as well as I do your mother wouldn't want you to sit around being miserable."

I nodded, once again, burying my face in her lap.

"Come on," she said. "I'll walk you to bed."

I smiled. She shouldn't be doing to me, not at my age. This sort of thing was meant for children Gretl and Marta's age.

"You're going to have a wonderful time at the party," she told me before leaving the bedroom.

"Do you really think so?" I asked.

"I promise," she whispered, before turning off the light and shutting the door.


As I lay in bed, I promised myself I would have a good time at the party. Fraulein Maria had promised to be by my side the entire time, which made me feel better already. For her sake, and my mother's, but mostly for my own, I would try to enjoy the party.


I normally don't include notes down the bottom of my stories, but in case any of you are wondering about Gretl and her first party...for the purposes of my story she has no memory of the one Louisa mentions at the beginning of this chapter.

Oh, and the 'you're trembling' line is what Julie Andrews herself said to me when I met her for my birthday present.