Yeah. I'm consuming space and mass. Wait-what? I should pay attention in Science moar...

Name: Despair

Protagonist(s): Loganator and Kendork.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort... I guess e.e

Pairings: Some Kogan Friendship 8D

POV: Kendork.

Time: About sixth grade.

Other: I use too much smileys. I don't own teh BTR show/band. D: Oh yeah, can someone be a beta-reader for me? I make a lot of mistakes...

It doesn't seem right when he frowns. It doesn't fit him.

I think this as I stare to the side at the raven-haired boy which had gone into auto-pilot, who was currently starting his Algebra homework, scribbling down words with fierce strokes of his orange pencil. When he entered the room with a crestfallen look instead of a gleaming smile; you could tell the whole atmosphere had gone downhill. Usually whenever he'd enter homeroom, the depressing weight that everyone feels seems to be lifted. More smiles would greet him, the rut of "hello's" and "how ya doing's" would make his grin even broader, showing those pearly whites.

"Hey, Logie Bear! Look! I drew the meanie Math te-" The latino, who had the seat in front of Logan, frowned and cut himself off upon seeing the despondent grimace which the ebony-haired boy held. Carlos turned his confused gaze on the idle me, who was desperately trying to avoid the conversation which was about to insue. I hated it when I didn't know anything. And it made me even angrier when someone asked me.

"Kendall," Carlos whimpered, his puppy face appearing. "What's wrong with Logie?"

I ran a hand through my dirty blonde hair, opening my jaws to speak, but a, "What's up, guys?" interrupted my sentence. Carlos immediately sprang up out of his seat, hitting his right knee in the process, the query forgotten as he latched onto James like a lost puppy, ignoring his bruise. This goes to prove how much Carlos loves James.

"Jamie!" He yelled, hugging him so tightly that it made the brunette almost suffocate. Small laughs erupted out of the class, as this display was shown pretty much everyday. The only way you'd know something was wrong with Carlos was when he'd cease hugging James whenever he'd enter the room.

"Hey buddy!" Laughed James as he pried Carlos' fingers off of him so he could breathe, setting him down in front of him. I smiled lightly at this, though the grin quickly fell as I noticed Logan didn't even spare them a glance, his chocolate eyes glued to his classwork which he had to finish before our Math class began. I was about to tell Logan to put it away, for Math class was fourth period, but quickly pushed it out of my mind.

Let Logan be Logan. I thought with a quiet huff, resting my head on the tan desk. Usually that would follow when we'd want to stop James from being stupid about something, though today that quote fit the ebony-haired male more accurately.

A loud clap of thunder made Carlos shriek and hide behind James, which, of course, made everyone giggle once more. James rolled his eyes, walking forward so he was no longer the latino's personal human shield.

"Hey, James! I thought we were friends!" Carlos cried, running up to James who was currently sinking into his chair, his hazel eyes closed. I didn't hear the rest of their discussion as my world began to revolve around Logan again. I lowered my voice, asking,

"Logan, what's wrong?"

The sixth grader didn't even look up.

I repeated the sentence five more times. When he still didn't respond, my brows furrowed as my face contorted into a snarl that would make a male tiger proud. Though it fell as quickly as it came, for I had an idea. I took a deep breath in, my features twitched, and I let out a fake, loud, sneeze.

As usual, it worked.

Logan popped up, looking like someone had just set off the doctor alarm in his head. "Are you sick?" He asked, his gaze becoming focused unlike before, though he frowned when he saw my smirk.

"No," I replied solemnly, the triumphant smirk gone. "But what's wrong with you?"

Logan looked surprised, his eyes widened so much you could see the white rims around his brown irises.

"Wrong? There's- there's nothing wrong with me," He stuttered, looking away, giving a fake laugh as if to reassure me. I tipped a brow so high up it almost touched my blonde hairline.

"Really?" I questioned, not even a ghost of a smile evident at his laugh.

He turned his head back so it was facing me again. "Yeah."

I folded my arms, gripping the bridge of my nose. "I can tell you're lying."

Logan looked taken aback. "Are you insinuating that I would lie to my best friends?"

"Yes, I am, considering that's just what I said," I responded through gritted teeth, trying to not get impatient with him. I took a sharp breath through my nostrils like a bull ready to charge. I slitted my eyes at the clock; mentally noting we had ten minutes until class started.

Logan snorted, his eyes rolling up slightly. "I would never do that-" He gasped in pain as I grabbed his skinny, pale wrist and hauled him outside into the almost empty hall.

"Logan, please tell me what's wrong," I pleaded, my tone different from a few seconds ago. "I hate it when you frown. It's..." I lowered my voice. "Not like you." I ignored the strange glances the other bystanders were sending my way as I awaited his response.

Logan was still stubborn as ever as he folded his arms. "There's nothing wrong."
I was about to explode. "Dude, you always smile. It's like second nature to you."

Logan was about to open his mouth to speak, but furrowed his brow when he heard a voice.

"Boys, what're you doing out here?" The teacher that asked the question was usually very kind, so I wasn't necessarily worried. I frowned, shaking my head, immediately discarding my response.

"Nothing," I mumbled, angrily grabbing the metal door handle as I let myself in the classroom, trying not to flinch as the bell rang. Logan exchanged a solemn look to the teacher, before following suit.

It was still raining when we were let out of school. I narrowed my eyes against the pouring rain as I chased Logan's retreating silhoutte with my emerald eyes. I didn't care if he noticed I was going to follow him, which I still did anyway. I felt a soft tap on my right shoulder, and I craned my neck.

"Dude, where ya going? The bus is that way," James pointed with his thumb to the bus loading zone where all the kids were rushing towards for cover. I looked forward again, gritting my teeth in worry as I saw Logan's slowly disappearing figure.

"Uh... I think I'm going to walk home," I replied, blinking numerous times.

James laughed once, as if it were some silly joke. "Do you not see the pouring rain?" He raised a brow, his face turning serious, giving me the look. Let me explain. The look is only something Logan and James can do, and it's kind of creepy when it's given to you. Logan's is the "I-know-there-is-something-wrong-and-you-better-tell-me" and James' look is the "I'm-going-to-force-the-answer-out-of-you-whether-you-like-it-or-not". It's kind of like... They're interrogating you.

"I just..." I found myself breaking under the tall boy's stare. "Bye," I dismissed the conversation as I quickly scurried out of his eyes' grasp. James sighed, massaging his forehead before walking away. During my brief conversation with the brunette, Logan had walked out of sight, and this irritated me greatly. I needed to find out what was wrong with him.

I ran ahead in the direction the small boy had walked off into.

"Oh, Logan, where did you go?" I murmured, putting a hand over my forehead on top of my eyes to stop the pounding rain. I stopped for a moment, noticing that I had already wandered off into the deserted part of town at this time of day. It's usually pretty inactive right after school, which was good for me.

I must've walked for at least twenty minutes when I caught up with the raven-haired boy. His stride had slowed, and his red and black Vans he was currently wearing seemed to be interesting, as he was staring at them with dull eyes.

"Logan!" I called out, breaking into a full run as I headed towards the said male. He perked up, glancing at me with widened eyes and ceased his strut.

"Yes?" He inquired, acting as if he was not standing in the middle of a thunderstorm.

I decided to cut the formal greeting as I eyed him worriedly. "Logan..." I panted, taking in a deep gasp as my breathing regulated. "Logan, what is wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, as if our eariler meeting had never happened. I noted mentally that we were standing beside a large building.

"Please," I pleaded again.

He sighed, the ground becoming his focus again. He mumbled something incoherently and I had to strain my hearing to be able to apprehend what he was saying. "I didn't quite catch that," I leaned in closer, silently willing for him to talk louder.

"...He got accepted..." Was all I was able to comprehend, and a frown played on my lips.

"What do you mean?" It was my turn to ask the question.

"My brother... He got accepted into the Marines. And he left yesterday..." He trailed off, sliding his back down the tall building with a look of despair etched all over his pale features. The first roll of thunder echoed around the sky, followed by a brief flash of lightning.

"Logan... I.." I had no words to express as I sat down next to him, throwing my bookbag next to me. Suddenly, Logan let out a small wail of anguish and started to cry, no matter how much he tried to contain it, as another flash of lightning, followed by it's friend thunder sounded.

"Ken-Kendall... He-he could die..." He whimpered, burrowing his face in his hands, and I pulled him into an embrace, running my hand through his tousled hair as he sobbed on my chest.

"I know... But try not to think like that," I murmured in reply, sitting Indian style and repositioning Logan so we were more comfortable.

"But how can you not think like that?" He asked, letting out a sniff. I didn't know how I could think optimistically, since I was not like Carlos, but it was to comfort the small boy. Optimisim isn't my forte.

"Try not to be pessimistic," I closed my eyes, and I felt Logan grip around me tighter as a very loud boom traveled through the clouds.

"Pessismistic is my middle name," He muttered through my chest, though it sounded like, "Fessimiftic if my miwle name."

"Logan," I called out the boy's name sternly. "Logan, look at me." I lifted his chin with my finger, and the look in his chocolate eyes made me cringe. Everyone knows that Logan's big brother means a lot to the sixth grader. He was known for his advice and humor, and as you may have guessed, loyalty to his country. I wasn't known for my advice or humor, so I had no idea what to say right now.

I sighed. "Logan..." I began, trying not to stare into those brown depths. "I hate to have to tell you this... But it's what you need to hear. I found out long ago that I can't control anyone else's fate. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't keep them safe..." I took a deep breath, my stomach folding at what I was about to say. "If-if he dies... There's nothing you can do about it. If he doesn't, then that's great. But it's not in your hands."

Logan looked like he was about collapse right then and there, shocked that I would say something like that. Then he rested his pale face and nuzzled his nose in the crook of my neck. As awkward as other people would've found this, I found it comfortable.

"I understand..." He murmured, and I heard another sniff. I let out a breath of relief I didn't realize I was holding, for I was nervous how he would react. I idly ran a hand through Logan's hair. It's not the greatest thing to hear, that you can't protect everyone, no matter how much you want to. I learned that when my dad was murdered, and I took charge to protect Katie and Mama Knight.

"Kendall," A voice broke me out of my thoughts.

I grunted in acknowledgement, a questioning tone tinged into it.

"I'm cold."

I suddenly took notice of Logan's shuddering form, and the pounding rain registered into my ears. I smiled at him. "I wonder why," I chuckled, and he writhed and squirmed out of my grip. You could practically feel the much brighter aura that emitted from him as he grunted and fell back on his butt, smiling as he rubbed his head nervously.

"Logan," I called his name for the umpteenth time, and the smaller boy raised his eyebrows in question. "Are you alright?"

The small boy looked saddened for a moment, his eyes downcast, before they became brightened and determined again. "Yeah," He replied in a low murmur.

"Good. Because, it's raining, and... I'm freezing."
Logan grinned goofily.

Yeah... So I hope that one was a lot better. Reviews are like little tiny Logans! Wait, that's creepy... Next chapter: Out of Character.