Sebastian took the top envelope in his hand, carefully opening it and removing the papers inside. He glanced at the corner of the page noticing the date.
"Not long after you became pregnant with our dear Evian, I can imagine the carefully selected words now." Sebastian thought out loud as he began to read.
Sebastian,
By the time you're reading this, I would have told you about what happened today. While I'm sure both you and your mother will be thrilled, I am absolutely livid! You must have known that there was some possibility. You were born into this, you would've known something. I was unaware that this could be the result as I am by no means a girl. where I come from boys don't have this problem.
I'm so beyond angry with you I can't even tell you. I'm not meant to be a mother! Had I known, I never would have consented to your little trick. It hurts my heart, I trusted you.
The healer offered me a second option,I think you know what it is, he said most demons do it, they never tell their mates and it's like it never happened,they go one with their lives.
You know what's frustrating, as angry as I am with you, I love you too damn much to ever hurt you like child didn't ask to be here and it shouldn't suffer for a choice I made, however ill informed I may have been.. I could never hurt your child.
Sebastian paused, sighing,the demon Prince found it difficult to read. Especially the few words, the ink had been smudged.
"You were crying when you wrote this, weren't you my dear one?" Sebastian lightly touched the page, his heart breaking.
I couldn't give you my soul as we agreed on,I can give you this,I'm not the least bit happy about it,but you've given me so much and knowing how you're going to react,I don't think I've ever seem you genuinely happy, you had better be because I won't be doing this again. Sometimes I really want to hate you,I just can't do it, not after everything we've been through. Not after the talk we had that night when you told me that our contract was offered for my protect from the other one I didn't see. That you would've taken me away from there anyway. You mentioned that from the moment you saw me, you felt connected in a way you couldn't understand at the time you wanted to protect me. It's conversations like that that make it harder for me to deny you this small favor.
Why do you have to love me the way you do,I can't hate you when you're like that. The child I'm carrying, I know it doesn't make sense really, but I would die to protect ir,It was created from the love we have for each other and that's something I can't allow to be taken. The truth of it is...I'm terrified.
I know it doesn't seem like it, but you know by now that I'm good at masking my true feelings behind others. I don't hate the baby,Sebastian,I'm afraid of it. I hope in time you'll understand that.
I don't know how to tell you this. I don't really want to be a mother. The very thought fills my heart with mixed emotions. I want you to be happy,after everything I put you through and the pain I causedcaused, you deserve to have this. I hope you won't let my insecurities ruin it for you. I'll handle it in my own way and try to be okay with this for you.
I'm sorry I'm not even a half way decent mate for you. All this added pressure of learning your ways and then trying to cope with the child sharing my body, it's a lot to get through and I don't want to let you down anymore than I already have.
I wish you had taken my soul when you had the could've found someone better to have your child. Someone who wouldn't be upset,that could offer it what I can't. I'm sorry,Sebastian.
I'm not sure I can do this.
The former butler carefully folded the paper and put it back inside it's envelope. Ciel's letter had indeed surprised him. He would have to remember to talk to his mate about it when he was finished with his work. For the time being, he would pour himself a drink from his cabinet and settle in once more to see what else his love had to tell him.
