Authors Note- Dont get mad, I put a pool at the institute.. i was feelin rather beachy. Also, i havent read the books in awhile so i may have phrased things wrong or said some things wrong. sorry for that! Enjoy!

We all met in the library, with the exception of Max, Jace at my side and Clary next to him, Isabelle on my left.

My mother and father stood behind the desk, sitting in the chair was the inquisitor. Two strangers I have never seen before were standing by the fir place, I assume they are from the Clave.

"Have a seat." The inquisitor gestured to the two empty chairs facing her. I questioned her ability to count considering there were four of us.

Isabelle sat as did Clary, Jace stood behind her as I did behind Isabelle.

"Now, down to business."

I didn't dare look at my parents, and I prayed to Raziel that they didn't notice my physical change.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood, you are requested to Idris where you will join a search with other Shadowhunters."

"A search?" I asked quietly.

"For the Morgenstern child of course." The members of the Clave stepped forward looking at me. "These men will take you there. You leave in 5 minutes."

My mind was racing. I didn't want to leave, I wanted to stay in my room and sleep. I didn't want to go to the one place Magnus would never be, I didn't want to be a whole world away from him.

"Gather your things, these men will accompany you." The inquisitor gestured to the Shadowhunters.

I looked over at Jace who gave me a reassuring nod and I turned and walked out of the library. The men closely behind.

Gathering my things in my room I wondered what is happening with Jace, Clary and Isabelle. What could they be assigned to do? If anything.

I packed for a week, that should be enough, mostly Shadowhunter gear; some casual and semi-formal. You can never be too prepared.

I armed myself with my weapons belt and threw my arrows over my shoulder. I wanted to sneeze from the dust on them, or maybe it was my imagination.

I carried my bow and held my duffel bag as I took one last look at my room, my only source of comfort, I turned and left trying to erase thoughts of Magnus and sleep behind.

We took a portal to Idris and ended up at the Hall of Accords.

"We depart here." One of the Shadowhunters said. "You know your way to the Institute." They turned and went back through the portal. I wondered why they went back, if they are Clave members they should be here. I shrugged it off and started for the Institute.

The city was deserted. I suppose it would be given the circumstances. I could see the white pillars around the city guarding it.

It was strange being outside after being in for so long. The light burned my eyes and the fresh air was overwhelming. It was surprisingly nice.

The walk to the Institute was short. The cold bitter air inside reminded me of my dark time indoors and the reason I quarantined myself.

I didn't see any other Shadowhunter as I walked to my room, probably busy on the search. It suddenly dawned on me that I'm not entirely sure what I am assigned to do. Search? But search where and when? Who else am I searching with?

I guess I could wait until further answers.

Yes. Waiting sounds wonderful.

I reached my room and shut the door, the room was slightly dusty but I wasn't in the mood to care.

I dropped my bag on the love seat in the corner and removed my gear, placing it all on the dresser.

I collapsed into bed, coughing at the dust that flew around me. I undid the sheets and crawled underneath.

That's better.

I willed myself to sleep. To forget about where I was and everything that's happening.

To forget about Magnus.

The on who saved me.

Loved me.

Helped me.

Did everything for me.

His glitter shining in his dark hair and his warm eyes resting on me that reflected his love for me.

The way he dressed. I hate it but I love it, I still have a shirt of his.

They way he smiled and danced; his voice and intelligence.

The way his nose scrunches when he is angry and the way he rolled his eyes at me.

How we made love.

The way he said 'I love you'.

I'm crying again. It just never seems to end. I miss him so much I don't know how I can take it anymore. I need him back.

I need him.

I love him.

When I awoke I rubbed my eyes, swollen, yet again, from crying.

I looked at the clock, 1:30.

There was a knock on the door, I'm guessing someone to tell me actual orders.

I got up and sluggishly went to the door. I opened it and found Jace.

"Sleeping again huh?"

I frowned. "What are you doing here?"

"Turns out they were one searcher short, the inquisitor was going to send me with Clary to London. But found out another Shadowhunter was needed here. So here I am."

Great. Jace is going to keep me on my game the whole time I'm here.

So much for sleeping.

I didn't realize Jace was holding something until it was thrown at me.

"Put these on. I assume you didn't pack for swimming. You are white as hell it' like staring at someone coming from a funeral." Jace was wearing a white t-shirt and red swim shorts. Something I would have personally enjoyed if I was still into him. "Hurry up." He said and walked away, flip flops echoing in the hall.

I sighed and shut the door. I didn't want to go outside, much less swimming. I looked at the shorts in my hand, blue and white floral.

Magnus' favorite pair on me.

I blinked back tears and changed.

The shorts were loose on me but fit enough. I didn't dare look in the mirror.

I walked outside bare foot and squinted from the sunlight.

Jace was laying on a lawn-chair, next to him was a chair set up for me. Towel laid across, flip flops next to it; I see he brought my pair from home.

Home.

I sighed and walked to my chair.

"Well look who decided to come out from his cave." Jace smirked.

"Drink?" He held up a glass holding yellow liquid and had a lemon slice on the rim.

"No." I said and sat down.

"My my. Snappy aren't you."

"I just want to go back inside."

Jace rolled his eyes and replaed his drink with a small black remote. A second later, music started playing.

Party mundane music.

"Come on Alec." He pulled me up and dragged me to the pool edge.

"Have some fun."

And he pushed me in.

We were outside for hours, swimming, tanning, eating, dancing.

Who knew just two people could have their own party. Who even knew I could be one of them?

I had fun. I was smiling. I was happy. I knew Jace was proud of himself, I was proud of myself. I was actually able to forget about Magnus for awhile and be able to take care of myself.

All that went away when I went back inside, though. I am once again alone in my room with nothing but darkness and my thoughts.