SEASON 5
"I just-I don't-I can't..." Booth didn't know how to explain how to explain how he was feeling. Broken.
He sighed as he took another shot.
"Booth, you've had enough," Aldo sighed, "Go home. It will all be better in the morning."
Booth laughed, "I-I wish I could say that was true. But it isn't! It won't be better!" he started crying again, "I have never felt the way I feel about her for anyone else ever."
"You said that about Rebec-"
"Bones stopped the nightmares," Booth growled, "The ones about the war. The ones about my father. All of them."
"Booth! It will get better j-"
"WHEN?!? WHEN DOES IT GET BETTER?!?! WHEN HAS LIFE EVER GOTTEN BETTER FOR ME?!?!? IT NEVER GETS BETTER!!!!" Booth began crying, "It hurts," he pointed at his heart, "Its always hurts."
"Booth, go home," Aldo ordered.
"You're right. I should."
Booth took the bottle off the bar and walked out of Paradise Lost. He always wondered why the name "Paradise Lost," but now he knew.
Brennan was his partner. His friend. His coworker. His crush. His love. His everything.
Temperance Brennan was his paradise.
Booth finally told her how he felt. How he's loved her since the first case. She was supposed to love him back. Everyone saw that they loved each other. But Brennan didn't say she loved him.
"I'm not a gambler. I'm a scientist. I can't change. I don't know how."
His paradise was lost and when he lost his paradise, he found himself with an empty bottle.
"You'll change, Bones. I know you will," Booth muttered to himself as he then took a drink out of the bottle.
He stumbled down the streets of Washington, D.C. to his lonely apartment. He walked inside and looked around. He wasn't ever there, really. He was always with Brennan. He sighed as he took a sip of his drink. Realizing the bottle was empty, Booth threw the bottle angrily at the wall.
The bottle shattered against the wall. Booth was angry, tossing every object in his path across the room, until he got to a single object.
A small picture frame containing a picture of Brennan and Parker, smiling on the swings at a park a few blocks away.
Booth clutched the picture to his chest and dropped to the floor, sobbing.
"After everything I've been through, I can't get a single chance to be happy," he cried, "Why am I not allowed to be happy?!"
He cried himself to sleep on the floor. Dreams of Brennan flooded his brain.
Booth woke up hungover, begging God that what happened last night didn't happen and was only a dream.
But it wasn't.
Booth made himself some coffee and began cleaning his mess he made.
"You'll fall out of love with her one day," he thought, then chuckled and muttered, "Who am I kidding? I'll love her forever and always."
