HQ
General Clayton had just got of the phone with his superiors. Apparently, Major Charles Winchester had ruffled some Marine feathers. This was the last thing the General needed, it was bad enough that he was fighting a civil war between North and South Korea, he didn't need a further one breaking out between the U.S Army and Marine Corps as well.
"Lt. Colonel Burns!" Clayton barked.
"Yes, Sir?" Frank asked, saluting at attention.
"I have your first assignment for you…" Clayton said,"… it's at your old unit, the 4077 th."
"What have Pierce and Hunnicutt done now sir?" Frank asked.
"It's neither Pierce nor Hunnicutt."
"Is it Colonel Potter?"
"It's not him either. It's Major Charles Emmerson Winchester, a surgeon that came to the 4077th after you left. In fact, when you went, AWOL he had a cushy little job in Tokyo. He detests being here, and not a week goes by when our office doesn't get a request for a transfer." General Clayton informed him.
"So you've met him?" Frank asked.
"No, but I've read his file, and my phone is in meltdown mode from complaints from countless Marine Brass who have requested Winchester's head on a platter. That's why I am putting you in charge Frank! I want a thorough investigation of this so you can get the Marines off my back. We have to show the Marines that the Army is capable of disciplining its own." Clayton said.
Frank read through Winchester's file, and he was disgusted by Winchester's actions. The very fact that Winchester put North Korean patients ahead of American Marines made him squirm.
"You don't have to do this Frank, I could pass it on to one of my other officers who has had no involvement in the 4077th." Clayton said.
It only took a second for Frank to make up his mind.
"Sargent Wilson!" Frank barked to his aide, "Call Colonel Potter at the 4077th and tell him that I'm coming up to investigate Major Winchester. Then Get a jeep warmed up, and pack yourself enough clothing for a week, I'd imagine we'll be up there for while." Frank ordered.
" Yes Sir! Is there anything else?" Sargent Wilson asked.
" Yes, call the M.P.'s and put him under house arrest. I do not want Winchester to leave his tent for any reason except medical emergency." Frank said.
Frank was appalled to think that someone as undisciplined and as unpatriotic as Winchester could replace him as a surgeon at the 4077th. In Frank eyes, Winchester's action was an insult to not only the United States, but every soldier serving under the US Army Banner.
RADAR'S OFFICE
Potter paced up and down. He didn't like Winchester, but Potter was eager to find out who I corps was sending to investigate him. He sure didn't want to lose Winchester, no matter how pompous and arrogant he was.
" I'm trying to get through to HQ now, sir."
" Thank you Radar." Potter said, patting Radar's shoulder.
"There is a call for you sir, from a Sargent Wilson from HQ." Radar said.
"Potter here."
"Colonel Potter? Sargent Fred Wilson calling on behalf of Lieutenant Colonel Frank Burns, HQ Medical services." Wilson said.
Now there was a name Potter hadn't heard for a long time.
"Frank Burns? Is that the Frank Burns who is serial number 155888547 Sargent?" Potter said disbelievingly.
" One and the same Colonel." Wilson said.
" I thought he was at some VA hospital in Fort Wayne Indiana?" Potter asked.
" Well he's back here working in the Divisional Medical Services of I-CORPS! That's why I am calling you Colonel. We received Colonel Stevens' complaint about Major Winchester's conduct on April 6th, and Colonel Burns wanted me to call to inform you that he and I will be coming up to the 4077th to investigate the matter." Wilson said.
" Thank you Sargent for the call." Potter said hanging up the phone. Radar was looking up at him with puppy dog eyes.
"Who is I-CORPS sending to investigate Major Winchester sir?" Radar asked.
"You're not going to believe this Radar, but they are sending Lt. Colonel Frank Burns." Potter said forlornly.
"He's working in Korea again Colonel? Every week I get a report from I-CORPS about who's coming and who's going. I should've known about that!" Radar said, annoyed with himself.
" Relax Radar, your job is to look after the 4077th, not keep up with the Army gossip at I-CORPS." Potters said, matter-of-factly, trying to reassure Radar that he hadn't failed in his job.
"Permission to speak frankly Sir?" Radar asked.
"Granted."
" Once Major, or should I say Lt. Colonel Burns finds out that Major Winchester put a North Korean soldier ahead of the US Marines, he's going to want Major Winchester head on a platter."
"You said it Radar, controlling those two is going to give me a headache." Potter said grimly.
The SWAMP
It was a quiet day in the Swamp, with each of the doctors doing their own thing to try and occupy their boredom. Charles was listening to his favourite Mozart record, BJ busied himself by trying to solve a crossword puzzle and Hawkeye was preparing himself for a date with the new nurse, Lt. Gloria Brown. Hawkeye had just finished shaving, when Colonel Potter walked in.
"Hello Colonel, what brings you to our neck of the woods?" Hawkeye asked.
"I found out who's going to investigate Winchester." Potter said blankly.
"Yes, I'd like to know which poor sap I-corps is sending to participate in this little witch-hunt." Charles remarked.
Potter could find no other easy way to say it, so he just blurted out: " Lt. Colonel Frank Burns."
Potter was expecting a reaction of shock and awe from Hawkeye and BJ, to the news that Frank had returned to Korea and was investigating Charles. Potter studied their reaction, but instead found Hawkeye and BJ falling on the floor laughing.
"You mean to say, that the Army is sending Frank to investigate Charles? Isn't that the funniest thing that you ever heard?" Hawkeye said.
"The thought of it has me rolling in stitches!" BJ said laughingly.
Potter grew annoyed with the two.
"Stop it! Both of you! With Frank Burns investigating Winchester, we might just lose a damn fine surgeon. The Marines are out for Winchester's hide, and they're not going to be satisfied until the Army hangs Winchester from a high oak tree, comprende?" Potter said.
BJ and Hawkeye quickly fell into line. Winchester was calm about the whole thing.
"Don't worry Charles, we'll handle Frank for you." Hawkeye said.
" Pierce, I appreciate your concern, but I think I can handle Frank Burns, all by myself." Charles retorted.
"Charles, we know this guy. Frank's a stickler for Army Regulations, and he's probably on his way here now to cook your goose." Hawkeye said.
"The problem is Pierce, that you, Hunnicutt and MacIntyre before him could never handle Frank Burns because you were simply ill-equipped to do so. You don't have the Winchester charm ….or cunning." Winchester said snobbishly.
"Fine Charles, suit yourself."
Just then, a group of Army M.P.'s burst into the the swamp, looking like men on a mission, while the doctors looked on in amazement. Potter got up off Winchester's bed.
Colonel Potter spoke up. "Alright, what's all this about? I am the CO of this outfit!"
"Colonel Potter, which one of these...gentlemen is Major Winchester?" The head M.P. asked.
" That's him." Potter said, pointing to Charles.
"Major Charles Winchester, by order of Lt. Colonel Frank Burns, you are hereby ordered to be placed under house arrest and you are NOT permitted to leave this tent except for an extreme medical emergency."
Potter, Pierce and Hunnicutt looked around with shock and disbelief that Frank would go to these extreme lengths to make an example out of Winchester.
" This is over the top, even for Frank." Hawkeye said.
