Hey guys! I had muchos funos writing this story so I am doing a sequel whether you wanted one or not!! It is just the 50 Things series, so not all of them will be things that they're banned from.
This time it is Edward's time to SHINE! XD
50 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen
1 Tell him that he is not allowed to go near Bella, 'just in case'
2 Call him Eddie (we all know that one)
3 Go to school with human food just for him and demand he eat it
4 If he doesn't, explain that he must keep up human appearances because the humans will get suspicious
5 If he still doesn't, burst into tears and cry about how he hates your cooking, until the cafeteria gives him death glares for upsetting you
6 Tell Bella that if she jumps from great heights and hurts herself, he will have to change her
7 Tell Rosalie that if she kills/changes Bella, all the danger will be over and they can be 'normal' again
8 Tell him that Bella was in a tragic accident
9 Give him irrevocable proof that Bella was in a tragic accident
10 Put Bella in a tragic accident
11 Kidnap Bella and change her, then say Victoria did it
12 Get Victoria to do it
13 Send her off to the werewolves with a packed lunch and sleeping bag to stay over
14 Then laugh at him because he can't go 'rescue' her from their clutches
15 Have Emmett hold him down so you can escape after performing 13 and 14
16 Call Jacob and ask if he wants to buy Bella because she is on eBay
17 When he says yes, pocket the money and let him steal Bella
18 Put Bella's photo in a dating agency then direct all requests to him
19 Draw penises all over his CD's
20 Draw penises all over Bella
21 Draw penises all over yourself then tell Carlisle that he did it
22 Use Bella for javelin practice
23 Use Bella for shot-put practice
24 Spray Bella with whipped cream, instruct her to trash his room as loudly as possible, then inform him that she has rabies and the only way to get rid of it is to change her
25 Give Bella rabies then inform him that the only way to get rid of it is to change her
26 Take Alice shopping with his credit cards
27 Allow Alice to makeover his room
28 Allow Alice to be anywhere near his room
29 Buy a grand piano for the express purpose of destroying it slowly
30 Destroy his and replace it with said grand piano
31 Repeat process with a cello, violin, piccolo, viola, guitar, drum kit and some egg shakers
32 Leave roosters in his room in the middle of the night to wake Bella up at the crack of dawn
33 When confronted, insist they were intended as breakfast for him
34 Steal his wedding ring and replace it with a radio tracking coil
35 Track him wherever he goes
36 Make a fake video of said tracking, making it look as though he went to a porn shop
37 Plant porn in his room
38 Wash his car in pheromones 1
39 Laugh and film as animals stampede his car, attracted to said pheromones
40 Tell Rosalie that it was him who put mud in her sexy boots
41 Redecorate the house with pictures of human models
42 Graffiti the pictures with slogans such as "I'm hotter than this one!"
43 Glue down the kitchen – cutlery to draws, pots to shelves, food to fridge, fridge to ground... the blame him
44 Burn Carlisle's medical bag and leave the obvious smelling ashes in a trail from the Mercedes to his room
45 Spread Jacob's scent all around Bella's room and underwear drawer 2
46 Spread Carlisle's scent all around Bella's room and underwear drawer 3
47 Have sex with his piano
48 Buy a cheese factory for him for Christmas, saying that it will fatten Bella up for him to eat her
49 Convince Bella that this is his actual plan
50 Host a rave party in his room, with POWERTHIRST and GLOWING SWEAT
1 Pheromones being the chemical that animals secrete when in season and looking for a mate. Animals will flock and try to mate with his car XD
2 & 3 Being aware that this will be annoying and potentially fatal to the other parties involved. But who cares about that?
Hoped this was ok for you all. Personally, I hardly ever find my funny lines funny at all but I get people telling me that they are so I just keep going :D
Thank you so much to my most faithful supporters bloodnoir, and a new reader Maximum-Twilight-Ride who has reviewed on everything that I have put on this site, every chapter, every oneshot, everyeverything. ILY ALL WHO REVIEW! I wouldn't keep going without you guys XD
