Disclaimer: Not outs, we wish they were. Here's the second part - Dany's faster than I than updating, so the second chapter got put up on A03 yesterday. I will try and update at the same time, but because Dany and I are in different time zones, co-ordinating posting at the same time is fun. But we'll get there. Okay, so, second chapter. Please don't kill us, we just love writing lots of angsty stuff. Enjoy. AngelMouse.
Shattered Souls
chapter two
By MzDany and AngelMouse5
The grounds surrounding the SPD Academy were comprised of tens of acres of sprawling woodland and open areas used mainly for cadet training of all kinds. But tucked into a corner of it was a smaller, park-like area almost out of sight to anyone who didn't know it was there. That area was the last home to SPD's fallen heroes; the Delta Patrol Cemetery. Surrounded by a wrought-iron fence, the cemetery was accessible by crossing a small decorative bridge which spanned over a narrow, burbling creek.
Syd found him there; Gloved hands folded and forearms leaning on the bridge's wooden railing, he looked out onto the water below with such a forlorn look in his eyes that the Pink Ranger's heart hurt for him all over again. She silently stood next to him, and for a few moments they simply watched the water whorls form, spin, and dissolve in never-ending repetitions.
"It wasn't love at first sight between us, you know," Bridge said when he finally looked up. Syd nodded and followed his gaze towards the cemetery. "But when it did turn into love, I just knew that it was going to be love for life."
Syd put a hand between his shoulder blades and began to rub the spot soothingly. "It is," she said. "Because you're going to love him for the rest of your days."
Bridge simply nodded before he hung his head and gripped the railing with both hands. He radiated exhaustion and grief. The last few days had been hell on all of them, but worse for Bridge. Syd had no idea when was the last time he slept without the help of medication. Yesterday's service had been especially tough on him.
The funeral had been mostly ceremonial. Due to the harsh circumstances of Sky's death, there had been no body to bury, so the funeral congregation had gathered around the Wall of Heroes, where Supreme Commander Doggie Cruger hung a plaque depicting Sky's name, rank, service and death dates as well as a beautifully written epitaph listing Sky's many accomplishments as a Ranger and Commander.
The commemoration had been a solemn and dignified event. Most of the base cadets had shown up, crowding along the lawn outside the fence, but inside the cemetery there were only Bridge, Syd, Z, Jack and Ally, Grace and Airian, Kat, Boom (who had brought RIC along), Sky's mom, Doggie Cruger and his wife as well as a few older Earth Rangers, who had come to pay their respects to one of their fallen fellow Rangers.
Cruger – who was supposed to speak at their wedding reception – delivered a moving eulogy and Bridge had somehow made it through the service without breaking down or even crying, but the despair in his eyes would stay lodged in Syd's memory forever.
The same look was still in his eyes now as he turned to face her.
"Why did he do this to me, Syd? I thought he loved me, I thought we were getting married... so why did he do that..." The rest of the sentence was cut off by a heart-wrenching sob that seemed to come all the way from Bridge's core. Syd pulled him into a tight hug and held him silently. She knew he didn't need a verbal reply; neither was he actually mad at Sky. He was simply pouring out his pain to her at the injustice of it all.
Syd squeezed her eyes shut and held her friend while he clutched at her and his tears were soaking her shoulder. Together they stood on the wooden bridge while all around them birds were singing, the sun was blazing down on them and life was going on.
Headquarters waited a full week before notifying them that they were sending a replacement Commander for Earth Headquarters. He would be arriving with five aides in the next two days to take over from the temporary command situation that they were in at the moment. Bridge had, for the last two days at least, finally come out of his room and had been going over what decisions Z had been making and approving all of them. But he was a pale shade of himself, the shadows in his eyes were dark, deep and full of pain. The dark circles around his eyes showed the little sleep that he had and he was barely eating.
Syd had been watching him constantly, making him eat when she could, but she wasn't having a lot of success. He was losing weight he couldn't afford to lose and his clothes were beginning to hang on him. The funeral and the last week of mourning had taken its toll on all of them, but Bridge especially. Each of them were grieving in their own ways, but Z and Syd were completely focussed on making sure that Bridge was okay.
Bridge took the news that a replacement was coming for Sky with the same indifference he had been showing since the funeral. It was like he had lost his soul, his heart and his will to live. It was like he was just going through the motions of just existing. Privately, Z and Sydney had decided that it was only his sense of duty as Red Ranger that kept him going. Supreme Commander Cruger had contacted Z privately and advised her that the new Commander was already planning to make major changes, wording her up so that she could keep Bridge out of his way for the first few weeks apart from what was necessary.
So on the day of his arrival, things were already edgy and the atmosphere was a combination of tension and anticipation. The squad was waiting at the front entrance, Grace and Airian were bouncing with excitement and eagerness of the young. Sydney and Z were standing either side of Bridge, silently giving him all the support that they could whilst carrying out their duties as well. It wasn't easy, but they were all coping in their different ways.
A motorcade pulled up and from the front car several people got out, all of them aliens, which surprised Z and Sydney a bit, as most Commanders had a mix of staff - human and alien - but this new one had all aliens. There were two Debonians, two Praxians and a Xybrian - complete with bright blue hair and blue gem. Exchanging glances with Syd, Z just kept her composure and giving Bridge a gentle nudge for him to step forward, moved with him as the door opened and the new Commander stepped out of the car.
He was tall and well-muscled and very obviously a Tangarian. This caused Z some immediate concern, as they all recalled what happened when they last encountered a Tangarian. But they had to give him the benefit of doubt and see what he was like. The Commander walked forward, staring hard at them and then stopping in front of Bridge with a small frown. Z quickly nudged Bridge again, he came to and suddenly gave a salute.
"Sir, welcome to Earth SPD Headquarters. I'm Ranger Carson, Red Ranger and leader of B-Squad." The Tangarian returned the salute and nodded.
"Thank you, Ranger Carson. I'm Commander Laver Tarns. I hereby take formal command of this base from your temporary status." He frowned slightly. "I am sorry for your recent loss, but we have work to do. Let's go." He strode forward, his aides falling into step behind him and Syd gave him an incredulous look as he went past but said nothing. She watched as they all strode past and then fell into step with Z. She held her tongue though, they had to, for Bridge's sake if nothing else. Z suddenly squeezed her hand and Sydney knew exactly that she was thinking the same thing. This guy was going to take some getting used to.
It fell to Z to show the new commander and his entourage around the Delta Base, since Bridge had clammed up due to an overload on his emotions. The tour ended in the command center, where he was introduced to Dr. Kat Manx, who handed the command codes over to him as well as the SPD manual for Earth. When she tried to familiarize him with daily base procedures and command duties, however, the Tangarian's attention quickly faded.
"We'll get to all this tomorrow. Right now I am ready to retire to my lodgings until dinnertime," Tarns announced. He turned to Z. "Will you show me to my quarters, please, Ranger…"
"Delgado, Sir. Right this way." The new commander gestured for the other aides to go about their pre-assigned duties and they moved off with their own purpose. Tarns then motioned for Sky to bring along his luggage, which had been stored in the command center for the time being, and Z led them to the executive guest quarters. However, as soon as the commander walked into the spacious and comfortable accommodations, he rounded on Z.
"Why am I being housed in the guest quarters?" he demanded to know. "The Commander's Quarters should have been ready for my arrival, what's the holdup?" If Z was taken aback at the Tangarian's outburst, she didn't show it.
"Sir, as you know, Commander Tate and Ranger Carson were life partners, and on this account they resided in the Commander's Quarters together," she explained. "His sudden…demise has left Delta Base in a state of chaos that we are still working on straightening out, and there has simply been no time…"
"So let me get this straight," Tarns cut her off. "You are telling me that the Red Ranger is occupying my rooms?" The disdain in his tone was easy to hear and Z held her temper with an effort.
"Sir, Commander Tate's death has been very hard on Ranger Carson, and he has not been in the mental frame of mind to vacate the Commander's Quarters yet. He needs a little more time."
"Well, as the commander of this base, I am not in the mental frame of mind to settle for guest quarters, Blue Ranger," Tarns exclaimed. "I'm sure that the Red Ranger can find a room somewhere in Delta Base's dormitory wing." He stepped closer to Z, leaned in and growled at her: "Get him out!"
Sky had to give Z credit for the way she managed to keep her face schooled in a neutral expression. He knew his friend well enough to read her body language, however, and the stiff way she stood at attention and the balled fists behind her back told him just how angry she was. A few seconds passed until she ground out the required
"Yes, sir," reply. "I will notify you when it's done."
"Dismissed."
Laver Tarns stared after Z's retreating form until the doors had swished shut behind her. Then he took in his surroundings once more with a face like thunder. "Can you believe this?" he barked at Sky. "Stuck in the guest quarters like some visiting tourist." He slammed his fist down onto the sturdy dining table next to him with such force that the sound reverberated throughout the entire room. "The lack of respect these humans have for the chain of command is appalling! That'll be one of the first things I'm going to change around here!"
He leveled his furious gaze at Sky, clearly looking for confirmation. The urge to put his fist between Tarn's eyes was like a force of nature, but instead Sky put on what he hoped was a concurring expression and nodded.
"Appalling indeed, sir." Sky - in his guise as Venda, the Xybrian - answered as expected. He looked at the Commander. "I shall wait to unpack for you then, sir. Do you need anything else at the moment, sir?" Tarns shook his head and reached into a pocket, getting out a small flask. He took a swig of it and then growled.
"Stupid humans. Once I'm settled in my quarters, I want you to see about getting me some supplies. I'll send you a list. But in the meantime, I don't trust that Blue Ranger, make sure that the Red Ranger is out of my quarters within the hour, you understand?" Sky felt his heart clench but nodded.
"Yes, sir." Sky moved to the door and was stopped by Tarns.
"And Venda,"
"Sir?" Tarns smile had a touch of malice about it and Sky was immediately on guard.
"Don't be gentle. It's time these humans learned who really is in charge in this galaxy."
"Yes, sir." In character, Sky returned the malicious smile while promising himself that once this was over, he was going to punch Tarns teeth out. Leaving him to his booze and heading out, Sky was determined to get the evidence he needed quickly and then get the hell out of this disguise.
Sky stared at the closed double doors of the Commander's Quarters. He didn't want to do this. This was just rubbing it in his face. He really, really didn't want to do this.
He remembered the time when Cruger had him clean all the cement areas outside the base entrance with a toothbrush after the fiasco with Dru, and right now he would gladly repeat that if it got him out of this chore.
He didn't want to be here. Anywhere but here. But to keep up his cover he needed to follow Tarns' orders, so… Sky swallowed heavily, reached for the doorbell buzzer, then thought better of it and just walked through the doors unannounced. From the foyer he could see several Z's moving around, packing things into SPD-issue plastic crates while the real Z was standing with Bridge and Syd by the living-room sideboard, looking at a framed picture he was holding. It was one of Sky's favorite pictures; Boom took it several years ago when Jack was still Red Ranger. It showed the five of them with their arms around each other, smiling at the camera, so glad to be back from SWAT training.
Better times.
Grace and Airian were moving in and out of the kitchenette and bedroom, packing up his and Bridge's possessions, and Sky's stomach lurched painfully at seeing their home being dismantled.
Z looked up and her brows furrowed at the sight of him. "Lieutenant Venda. Can we help you with anything?" Her tone was neutral, but her demeanor all but screamed what the hell are you doing here?
Sky had never felt so intrusive and unwelcome in his life.
"Actually, I am here to help you," he replied, hoping it sounded snidely enough. "You obviously need another hand, since this is not moving fast enough." He emphasized 'this' with an all-around sweep of his hand. Z narrowed her eyes at him and Sky didn't need empathic powers to know she was ready to eat him alive. Bridge, however, barely glanced at him.
Sky tried not to stare at the love of his life. This was the first time Sky had a good look at Bridge since his arrival at the base. Bridge looked a shadow of his former self. The black circles under his eyes were deep and his face was gaunt. His uniform was starting to hang off him and he could tell that he had lost weight that he could ill afford to lose. Sky felt his heart and soul shatter into a thousand pieces once more.
"Thanks, but we got this," the Blue Ranger said and turned away from him in apparent dismissal.
"Obviously not. These premises need to be vacated in the next thirty minutes. Commander Tarns expects to be able to move in within the hour," Sky retorted and reached out for another one of the framed pictures on the sideboard to put it in a bin, only to have his wrist grabbed in a nearly bone-crushing grip by an iron hand. Literally.
Syd tossed her curls back over her shoulder with a flick of her head as she looked up at Sky. "I think you heard my fellow Ranger," she said. "We don't need your help. We got this."
Syd barely reached his chin, but she stood her ground so resolutely that she seemed twice his height. He was immensely proud of her as he leveled a cold stare down at her that didn't intimidate the Pink Ranger one bit.
It was Bridge who broke the staring contest by putting a gloved hand on his blond friend's shoulder. "We'll be done by then," he said quietly, and the resigned look he gave Sky wanted to make Sky claw out his own eyes. There was no sign of the Bridge he loved in those dead looking eyes.
Syd let go of him, but with her eyes she all but yelled at him, don't you dare touch anything in here!
Sky couldn't blame her one single bit. "Thirty minutes," he repeated, made himself glare at Syd and Z for another few seconds, then turned on his heel and strode out.
When he returned exactly thirty minutes later with the rest of Tarns' entourage to back him up, he found the Commander's Quarters vacant. The bleak sight of the empty walls and the few pieces of now impersonal standard-issue furniture pierced his heart like a jagged piece of glass. How could he ever make this up to Bridge?
After settling Tarns into his 'new' quarters, Sky had retired for the night as well, after making sure that Tarns was taken care of - in other words, had his nightly two bottles of booze. Having to stand over his friends as they packed up all his and Bridge's things had taken its toll on Sky's mental state. Seeing the man he loved forced to move out of the quarters that they had shared for so long was terrible. Having the girls there to keep an eye on Bridge seemed to help a little, but having to play the role of Venda, Sky had to keep in character at all times. Even if it was tearing his own soul apart. Yet he was so proud of the way Syd and Z had handled themselves, even Syd's iron fist was so much of her protectiveness for her friends, his pride in how she handled 'Venda' was enormous, he would make sure that he told her that when this whole mess was done and dusted.
Sky sat down on his bed, slowly taking off his jacket, trying to rationalise this whole situation in his mind even as he tried justify his actions to his heart. He knew that Bridge would, eventually, forgive him - he hoped, oh god he hoped so. The girls would as well, after making him pay for a while, which he was actually looking forward to. The girls could be very inventive with their paybacks. Yet it was Bridge that he was worried about, thinking about constantly, missing terribly. Why in god's name he had agreed to this mission? He couldn't understand right at this point in time now that he was immersed in it. Even though he intellectually knew why he did, the actual reality of this mission was harder than he had ever expected.
Throwing his jacket over the back of the chair, he toed off his boots and then just flopped down on the bed, staring at the roof of the small room he had been assigned as one of Tarns 'trusted' assistants. He had been carefully and slowly gathering the evidence against Tarns and the others over the last week, but was having to be very careful about it, playing his part exactly as expected was starting to take its toll on him. Hopefully tomorrow he'd be able to slip to Kat the little information he had managed to gather so far. Tarns was being careful and paranoid, it was only the fact that Sky was taking the place of someone he already knew and trusted, that he had been able to get the little he had so far.
Taking a deep breath, trying to still his mind over how it was churning over the hurt he was doing to the man he loved, Sky turned over to face the wall, trying to focus on the welds but they just reminded him of the time that Bridge had talked for over an hour how the welds in the plas-steel had been done when they constructed Delta Base and how it made the whole base a lot stronger. God, he missed Bridge so much.
Groaning, he turned back around again, trying to settle but he couldn't seem to settle not only his mind, but his body as well. This last week had been terrible trying to sleep without Bridge in the bed next to him. He had gotten used to being able to spoon with Bridge during the night, waking him from nightmares or exploring each other's bodies in many intimate ways that they could do - for as long as Bridge's powers could stand it. Sitting up, he got up and went into the small bathroom and got himself a drink of water. Standing there, looking at his reflection in the mirror, he didn't see himself. All he saw was a Xybrian with blue hair, blue gem in the middle of his forehead and no features of himself whatsoever.
Rinsing the glass, he left it on the sink, and went back into the quarters. To make sure he didn't risk blowing his cover, he hadn't been allowed to bring anything with him that would remind him of his real identity or his feelings for Bridge. That was what was tearing him apart, the fact that he was hurting Bridge so badly by accepting this mission. Yet this mission was essential. The fact that there were officers like Tarns in Space Patrol Delta was frightening, worrying and very bad for the service. Sky just hoped that one day, one day, he and Bridge would be able to put these terrible few weeks behind them.
Groaning at his inability to sleep, Sky threw himself back onto the bed and began to try and meditate, not even bothering to get changed into his night clothes. This was not going to be a good night. And the next few weren't going to be any better, now that he was this close to Bridge yet so far from the man he loved. Maybe tomorrow he could ask Kat for sleeping pills, as for the moment, he didn't think he'd be getting any sleep anytime soon whilst he was on this assignment, being so close to Bridge yet not being able to go to him.
After settling Bridge into his old room, thankfully it was still empty, Z and Sydney retired to their room near his with his promise to call them if he needed them, gratefully locking the door behind them as they both collapsed onto their respective beds. Syd gave a soft groan and sat up slowly, rubbing the back of her neck to ease some of the tension that had appeared over the last hour or so.
"This is not going to be a good move from High Command, Z. I don't think this guy likes us at all." Z sighed, sitting up as well, slowly undoing her jacket. Syd's tone was thoughtful, but it had a hint of worry underlying it.
"I don't think he does either. Cruger called me and said this guy had some radical ideas, and to watch ourselves. He also said we had to keep an eye on Bridge. I think this is hitting him hard, too." Syd had grabbed Peanuts and was cuddling him for some comfort. Even after all these years, she still occasionally needed some comfort of her childhood toy. Z's tone was thoughtful as she relayed that bit to Syd.
"Z, I don't think he's going to go easy on Bridge. Those guys he brought with him, they give me the creeps." Z threw her jacket over the back of her chair and stood up, absently getting her things ready for bed as it was now quite late in the evening. Z nodded in agreement at Syd's words.
"I agree. We'll just have to try and run interference as best as we can." Syd nodded and spoke again after a few moments.
"That second of his, the Xybrian, what was his name?" Z paused as she grabbed her night clothes.
"Venda. Lt Venda." Syd frowned at the guys' name as Z gave it to her.
"Something is definitely off with him. I just get a strange vibe off him. But it could just be the fact they have just got here and already making changes and that. Just wish Bridge didn't have to cope with this on top of everything else." Syd just nodded and sighed, burying her head in Peanuts to hide the tears in her eyes. Z saw this but didn't say anything.
"I'm going to shower, Syd. Back soon." Z walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her, and leaning against it, blinked back her own tears. But they had to be strong, for Bridge if nothing else. She just wished that Jack was around more easily than he was these days. She needed her adopted big brother more than anything at the moment. Taking a deep breath, she headed towards the shower; she had her own demons to wrestle with, just as Sydney did.
tbc
