Title: To Live Again
Pairing: Mi/L
Summary: Fourth story in "Picture" series.
Disclaimer: I do not own Roswell
A/N: In the event that you are familiar with the original To Live Again-this is completely rewritten. Instead of a one shot, it will be about three chapters. The final installment of the series should be up shortly once this it is finished. FYI, I love all of your reviews-or being favorited or anything that makes me feel like ya'll like what I am doing.
Chapter One: Breaking Point
Three months earlier
"Dammit, Michael!" and with that Maria slammed the door behind her. She stalked to the lobby of the no-name nowhere motel expecting it to be pretty empty at three in the morning. Instead she found Liz was sitting by the pool on the way to the lobby. Maria paused for a moment and considered continuing to the lobby.
Making a last second decision she went over to Liz, who looked at her suspiciously. Maria wrapped her arms around herself. There was a time where boy talk with Liz was the highlight of her day. Tonight Liz tensed up, readying herself for an argument with her former best friend.
"Can we just start over?" Maria found herself saying. "I was jealous of you. I thought this was like a fairy tale ending for you. Being married to Max and this whole Bonnie and Clyde ride off into the sunset thing."
Liz glared at her and laughed snarkily. "Where have you been all of this time? What made you think-"
"I know that it was irrational. You have every right to hate me. You didn't do anything wrong."
Liz stood up. "Where is all of this coming from?"
"Max and Michael hate each other. Although to be honest, I think Michael hates everyone," Maria joked. Liz didn't laugh so Maria took a deep breath and tried again. "Look, there's no reason why we can't be friends. I'm trying here."
"No," Liz protested. "I knew you didn't want to come with us. And you blame me that you chose to come because you regret it. That's not on me, Maria."
"That's the problem! When did you become one of them?"
Liz looked insulted. "And what? You think you're too good to be one of us?"
"No! I don't think I'm good enough!"
Liz recoiled, not expecting that response. "Maria-"
"I can't shoot energy balls or travel into people's dreams. I can't even get flashes half the time!"
That's because Michael doesn't let you, Liz wanted to say. Instead she went with, "What do you want, Maria? Do you want to belong here or not?"
"No, I don't. I don't want this. This is you, not me. I guess I've always tried to do what Liz would do," Maria laughed. "You've given up so much for them. With Future Max-with everything! But I can't give any more."
"You came for Michael."
"He doesn't love me. Honestly I'm not sure if I love him anymore. It's less lonely if we pretend though."
Liz went over to Maria. She had apologized and if Liz could be honest with yourself, the only reason she resented Maria was the fact that she got to be with Michael. There was no reason why she couldn't attempt to make this situation a little bit more bearable.
"Max wants to have a baby," Liz stated.
Maria inwardly smiled. Liz hadn't disclosed anything personal to her in a long time. However, her admission was startling.
"Is he crazy?"
"He says that he thinks that he's losing me. I'm not even sure how this will help. I mean we barely even have sex to begin with."
"I'll talk to him about it. If you want me too," Maria volunteered. "It might be nice to get some space from Michael. We work the same shift tomorrow."
Liz nodded. For some reason Max and Maria were the only ones who really got along. They both sat down in a battered pool side chair.
"I miss Alex," Liz admitted. A lump formed in her throat. "He never would have let us fight like this."
It was a step in the right direction for now.
The Next Day
Michael felt as though she couldn't breathe when she was this close to him. It was rare that Max and Maria had same shift days. Michael tried to avoid it-tried to avoid her. Maria had been extra difficult lately, it seemed. Although he did notice how Maria and Liz seemed to be friendly with each other this morning. Maybe that would help.
"I've been thinking," Liz said suddenly.
Liz had barged into this room and hadn't said anything at first. He had just looked at her, and felt the air leave the room. His hands were by his side, resisting the strong urge to hold her.
"About?" he urged.
"I pretend with Max. You pretend with Maria. Why can't we just pretend to be friends too? This whole not talking to each other ever makes me sick. "
She smiled at him, hoping for a positive response. Instead Michael turned away from her. "No. You can leave now."
The words physically hurt Liz. Her eyes immediately welled up. "What?"
"I'm not Max and you aren't Maria. It's either nothing or everything, Liz. I can't handle anything else. You need to leave."
When he turned around, he had expected her to be gone. Instead she was glaring at him, her lips in a thin line and her body rigid with anger. "You don't get to decide that."
Her reaction made him smile. He had missed her backbone.
"I do. "
"That's not fair! Even if it was everything, you want it to be on your terms-"
"Shut up. Why would you patch things up with Maria if you were ready to end this bullshit we do here, huh?"
Liz was shocked by his anger with her. He broke his safe distance from her and was almost in her face. She wasn't going to back down. In fact, a bubble of anger was rising in her as well.
"I hate her because of you! I've hated my best friend for taking someone she never knew I had! Do you know how unfair that is? When Future Max came to me, he didn't know about us, Michael. That's what happen when we wait for the right time, OK? It doesn't come for 14 years and we never get what we want. Is that what you want?"
He didn't say anything. Liz took a step forward and softened her tone. "We could die tomorrow. Max wants a baby-and now's a horrible time for that but that's what married couples do. I'm not sure I can even keep it going for that long but if I do-Eventually, Michael, something will happen that we cannot turn back from."
Liz became aware of how close they were and a lump began to form in her throat. She was searching his eyes for anything other with the same angry expression. Maybe they had already waited too long. Had Michael put up such a wide wall to keep his feelings for her at bay that he couldn't take it down now?
Liz shook her head slightly and started towards the door. He wanted her to leave-she'd leave.
"No."
He grabbed her hand to stop her. His thumb ran over hers for a moment and Liz looked at him questionably. The anger was gone.
He looked terrified.
"Michael?" she breathed.
"Stay."
