Before we go on with Chapter One, I want to specially thank Celestial Moonshine, Junoan, seasnake.756, brokenheart-edge, windam2611, flower mirage, SeikaDragon, Komute, iruka92, imhappynessinabottle, beautiful000enigma, Lonely Kitty, buchouslvr, YugiKitten and DMFAZINA for taking some of their precious time off to review! They mean a lot to me! Honestly! You all made my day! :D And also thank you all who have favourite and alerted!
You all are so nice XD (I'm so pleasantly surprised by all these cause I did not expect much of a response initially).
Thank you once again! On with the Chapter!
Warning: Sad and Lonely Allen!
Disclaimer: It's only the 2nd time I'm saying this but I already feel bored of it. Well, but if I don't, I'll be violating some copyright laws so... I do not own D.Gray-man. Awesome Hoshino Katsura does!
1st Night of Darkness: Dawn of Realisation
It was deathly silent. All he could hear was the resounding echo of emptiness.
Where was he?
Tentatively, he slowly opened his eyes and blinked. As his vision came into focus, Allen was met with the sight of a dusty old wall, yellowish with dark patches of mould growing on it. When his mind cleared, it dawned upon him that he was lying down and that what he initially thought was a wall, was actually a ceiling. Something soft and fluffy was cushioning his head. Was that a pillow? Then, he must be lying on a bed.
Naturally, Allen's first instinct was to sit up and take in his surroundings, but then he realised that he was unable to push himself up into a sitting position with his arms.
His arms… hold on…
Where were his arms!?
Panic seized the young exorcist. He could not feel any of his four limbs at all!
Swiftly turning his head to left, Allen could not help feeling partially relieved. Relieved that his appendage was still bound to his body, and surprised at the condition it was in.
His Innocence-embedded arm was firmly restrained with sturdy metal chains, wound several times from shoulder to wrist. He could not see where the chains were joined to, for it snaked down across the side of his bed, out of his field of vision, but Allen assumed that they were connected to the ground.
And that was not all.
It was as if the person who had him chained up doubted the capability of the chains in securing him, and thus went on to adding a supererogatory security measure – Plastering hundreds of paper charms unceremoniously all over his left arm.
Allen knew from experience that these paper charms worked wonders. They caused his Innocence to remain inactive and restrained him from movements due to their notorious weight. He had been moving around the Black Order secured with these charms for the past few weeks, so he was pretty much used to the strange and uncomfortable sensations. What surprised him now was the vast number of them plastered carelessly all over his arm. He had never expected to see so many of them. The force exerted by these charms was so great when combined in numbers that the nerves of his arm were numbed and unresponsive.
It felt as if his arm was not there at all.
He raised his head slightly to get a better look of himself and was startled to find that the rest of his body had undergone the same treatment as his left arm – Chained and charmed. Only his head was spared, and he wondered why so. Maybe for some reason the charms were unable to attach themselves to his head.
Allen did not feel well at all. He felt as if he had been beheaded, with only his head still living and conscious. It was an extremely unpleasant sensation.
Why is this happening to me?
Allen just could not comprehend the fact that he was being chained to this bed as if he was some sort of sadistic eccentric that would go around killing people and end up in an asylum. He should be out on a mission retrieving Innocence, or sparring at the training grounds, or gorging himself with glorious food in the cafeteria. Or simply, spending some quality time with his friends.
What happened?
Or was he being held as a hostage? Was he defeated by an Akuma? Or maybe a Noah clansman?
He tried to recall what happened before he had drifted off to unconsciousness, but was met with a blank response from his dazed mind. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind, but the haze stubbornly clung on.
Sighing, he decided to look around from his restrained position. Before him was a barren wall, with hints of cracks running along its scratched surface. Its coat of white paint was stale and had long turned to yellow through the passage of time.
Nothing of interest.
To his right was an empty stretch of marble-tiled floor that led his eyes to yet another aged yellowish wall. This time, however, he could make out the faint outline of a door at the extreme edge of his vision.
To his immediate left was another empty rough wall.
Allen was clueless as to how the other half of the room looked like as he was unable to turn his head around. He wasn't even sure if it was half a room behind him, but Allen guessed that the other side of the room would be the same – Aged, worn-down and plain.
From what he had seen, Allen could only presume that he was locked up in a cold, empty and lonely small room with nothing but four walls, a ceiling, a floor, a door and a bed.
Now what? He was done analyzing the room, and was left to face the harsh reality of the world once more. And the harsh reality being him, clueless as to what he should do next.
He sighed deeply. What could he do? His actions were very limited. For starters, he could not get out of this wretched bed that was starting to feel like a prison cell to him. And if he could not even get out of the bed, he could forget about leaving this room.
And the worst of it all was that he could not struggle.
No matter how much willpower he bore, no matter how determined, how desperate he was, he was completely helpless. He could not even TRY.
He wanted to TRY to break free of the chains, but he had lost complete control over his limbs. He could not even send an impulse to his arm to move. His arm was not a part of him anymore, only his head was left. And it was in his head where all his emotions pulsed and grew. His mind nurtured his will, and his limbs expressed them. Thus, when his limbs were taken away from him, these fierce emotions could only grow, and grow, and not be expressed.
It was a horrible feeling for an Exorcist whose strength and reason came from such strong emotions. It was a feeling… a feeling of helplessness. To want to do something but be unable to do so, with not even a chance to try. Some even being the most menial of tasks.
All he could do was wait.
Hours dragged by. Or was it already a day? Allen could not tell. He had already lost track of time. He tried counting the seconds, but every second dripped at such an excruciatingly slow rate that he had lost count.
Allen tried sleeping to pass time, but sleep never fully came. Occasionally, he drifted off to brief moments of sleep, only to wake up from an intangible dream that had eluded him, with cold sweat trickling down his neck. Those were tiresome and feverish hours.
When will the others come?
If he was in a room in the Order, then Komui would come in and explain things to him. Maybe this was one of Komui's sick jokes. Maybe he had tied him down so that he would not be able to escape when he performed one of his surgeries on his Innocence. Or maybe it was April and Lavi was pulling one of his pranks on him.
If Lavi thinks this is funny, he's so dead. Allen fumed.
If he was really being held a hostage, then Lenalee and the others ('excluding Kanda' Allen pointedly notes) would be searching for him. Yes, that must be it. But why didn't his captor kill him? Maybe, he wanted a ransom?
Then an appalling thought struck Allen.
The Order treasures every individual Exorcist... if... if the Earl gets his hands on me, he could make all sorts of demands to the Order in exchange for me.
Allen shuddered at the thought.
But then, why hasn't his captor shown himself? Maybe he was busy... And was he even engaged in battle before he had passed out? Maybe...
Allen stopped himself.
Every question only gave rise to more questions. Every answer only brought with it another chain of questions.
Allen wondered how many 'if's and 'maybe's he had thought out already.
Frowning to nobody in particular, Allen wondered if his friends were really coming for him.
Thump thump thump…
Allen's eyelids flew open as anticipation stirred in his heart. Was someone coming for him?
Thump thump thump…
The cursed boy strained his head to his right, towards the direction of the door. Were those footsteps?
Thump thump thump…
Allen was sure he had not heard wrongly. Those were footsteps! Someone was coming for him! He felt thrilled at finally being able to leave this horrid place. He wanted to move his limbs again, and stretch his stiff muscles. Then, he would ask someone about what had happened… no, he would go straight to the cafeteria and fill up his stomach first! Yes! He would stump Jerry with his list of dishes, and Jerry would merrily prepare them for him. Then he would go investigating.
Thump thump thump…
Was it Lenalee? Or Lavi? Or some Finders? Or maybe the whole lot of them! (Excluding Kanda, of course. The irascible samurai would never in a million years offer to join a search party for him.)
Thump thump thump thump…
Getting closer! Excitement swelled in the boy's heart and adrenaline coursed through his veins.
It won't be long now…!
He waited in anticipation for the creak of an opening door, or the click of a turning doorknob. He could hear the pulsing of his heart quicken as his excitement cumulated within him.
Thump thump thump thump thump!
So close!
THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP
What?
THUMP Thump thump thump… thump… thump… thump…
Suddenly everything was wrong. The whole world was wrong.
Wh-Why…?
His whole world came crumbling down to dust as realisation dawned upon the white-haired adolescent.
N-No…
Every silver of hope shredded to nothingness. Anticipation left him as suddenly as it had come. There had never been any footsteps from the beginning.
Everything was silent. He could only hear his faint breathing and the rhythmic beating of his heart resounding in his ears.
Thump thump thump…
Suddenly, everything seemed so loud.
Thump thump thump…
He hated it. Detested it so. He wanted to silence it, so that it will never beat again. To fill him with false hope and then drain it all in one painful moment, was just plain nasty. It was as if someone had stabbed him straight in the heart, puncturing an empty hole in it. It was torment.
How could he have been so foolish? They were never coming, right?
Allen had never felt so alone.
They would never find him.
And they would give up eventually.
And pronounce him gone forever.
The room temperature plummeted.
It was so cold…
Allen shivered as ice-cold fingers trailed along his skin. Voices whispered maliciously in his head, taunting him, cackling darkly.
Leave me alone… He whispered, feeling rising fear in his throat.
But Allen… the voices murmured, their chilly breath blowing into his ear, didn't you yearn for company?
Go away… he begged. It was getting harder to breath.
He was suffocating in his own fear.
No… An icy hand clutched at his throat. You're lonely.
G-Go a-way… he moaned. He wanted to move his arms and claw the cold hand away, but he could not move. Breathing was so difficult, and painful. Black spots started to appear in his field of vision.
No… The voice cooed, and licked the side of his neck, its rasp tongue leaving behind trails of freezing moisture.
You're lonely.
The walls started closing in on the petrified boy. His breathing tightened as the air turned denser. The room… the room was shrinking! The voices laughed hysterically in his head, their cold touches never leaving him.
He-Help… Allen whimpered, tears forming in his eyes. Leave me alone…! Please…
Laughter. They were coming. More of them. They were going to caress him with their freezing hands.
No boy… you're lonely, we'll be your friends…
Allen wanted to scream, but his voice was caught in his throat and he could only open his mouth to a silent scream of agony. He wanted to close his eyes, to block out the sight of the advancing walls, but his eyes were paralysed with pure terror. He wanted the taunting voices and the heartless laughter to go away, but they only advanced upon him, like the closing walls.
You're ours now, boy… You'll never be alone!
Go AWAY! He cried. GO AWAY!
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha….
GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!
The boy cried as the cold stung his skin. Soon he would be crushed to death by the walls. He would suffocate from the cold. He would be crushed into nothingness. He would freeze to death.
It was so cold…
You're ours!
GO AWAY!!
"Baka Moyashi, are you awake?"
Silence.
Every word sounded melodious. Every syllable sung. He felt like a deaf who had just heard the first five words of his life. The sense of relief that calmed his heart was ineffable.
Suddenly, the cold voices were gone. The walls froze.
No more cold. No more taunting voices. No more cruel laughter. He wasn't going to be crushed by the walls anymore.
He was safe. He was warm. He could breath.
And the voice. That beautiful ethereal voice. It was like a sun emerging from behind the gray heavy curtain of clouds, to shine its brilliant rays of sunshine upon a barren dark winter landscape, unleashing its hounds upon the cold evil beasts. Bringing warmth to his heart.
"Hey, Moyashi, don't bother pretending to be unconscious. I heard sounds. You're definitely awake so answer me."
It was only later when the fact that the voice had called him "Moyashi" registered in his mind that Allen realised that his description of the said person was totally inaccurate.
"K-K-Kanda!?"
"Kanda!?"
When Kanda's voice came from behind him, Allen had been relieved and euphoric by the fact that someone had finally come for him. Now, however, Allen's sense of well-being was replaced by utter shock and surprise. The sword-wielding Exorcist was the last person he had expected to come save him.
"What, Moyashi?"
"It's Allen!" the cursed boy snapped indignantly. "Did you come to get me?"
"Hell no, I'm locked in here." Kanda muttered darkly. Allen could sense that Kanda was unhappy over something.
"Huh? Did you lose to a Noah?"
"Do you have a Death wish?" Kanda growled brusquely.
Knowing Kanda's fractious self, Allen decided not to probe any further.
Awkward silence.
"These damn chains are so damn irritating," Kanda grouched from behind him, breaking the silence. As if to justify his sentence, the clinking of metal chains was heard as the samurai struggled with them.
"What? Kanda, did they chain you up and place those paper charms on you too?" Allen was surprised and disappointed. He had intended to ask Kanda to help remove the paper charms and release him from the chains.
"Chains, yes. Paper charms, no. Those bastards handcuffed me and tied my legs to this damn bed with chains."
"Oh." At least Kanda was not a mummy of paper charms. Allen wondered if it would be presumptuous of him if he asked how Kanda got chained up, but decided that it would be best to remain silent.
Awkward silence.
"Kanda," Allen started, unsure about how the other Exorcist would react, "Do you think the others will come for us?"
Awkward silence.
"Come for us?"
"Yes. Do you think Komui and the others will come rescue us?" Allen elucidated.
Awkward silence.
"Rescue us? What, do you think we're being held hostage or something? That's so childish." Kanda snorted derisively.
Allen felt his face heat up.
"So, do you have a better explanation as to why we're chained and locked up in here?" Allen countered.
Kanda sighed emphatically. Allen could just imagine him shaking his head at his ignorance, which only made his face heat up another level.
"I bet you're thinking Baka Moyashi again, aren't you?" The incensed boy growled.
"No."
"Yes you are!"
"I'm not thinking Baka Moyashi, I'm saying Baka Moyashi."
"What kind of answer is that!?"
"Just shut up and listen," Kanda's tone suddenly turned dead-serious. "You're really dense Moyashi. Up till now, you still do not know why the both of us are here? Isn't it obvious?"
Allen sobered up from Kanda's tone. "No, I don't know. So tell me why."
"Fine." Kanda let out an exasperated sigh, as if he was about to do something that he didn't want to.
"I'm here in the custody of the Black Order until they have decided on how to deal with me.
"And you're left here to die."
Sorry if the first chapter was a little draggy, I wanted to emphasize on how Allen felt before Kanda made himself present and the impact Kanda's presence had on him. But I still hope that you've enjoyed it! :)
(And Sorry about my English - it is a mix of American and British XP)
Please Review! I really appreciate them! (I don't mind constructive criticism, I'll gladly try to improve on my writing style to suit the readers' needs)
Oh and I forgot to add that Allen is shirtless in this fic (I'll leave this sentence for you to ponder about lol XD)
