Chapter 2 - It's Him. It's Always Been Him.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight Saga or the song portrayed in this story :)

Previously:

"Do you think..." But I was interuppted by a vision;

A storm was forming over the cliff where a shadow was lurking. It looked over the edge and said;

"Did you ever think about what I wanted to grant to you. Isn't it my choice, I mean it's my humanity." It said harshly. It took a few steps back from the cliff. Then rocked on the balls of its feet.

"But you won't stay for me. Why wouldn't I do it if you won't stay with me?" It challenged.

"Well, so did you." A tear dropping from the shadows face to the sand below it.

It straightened up and seemed to get ready for whatever it would come face to face with.

"You wanted me too be human, well. Watch me." It ran to the edge.

The vision ended.

I ran.

Bella POV

The light that brought up my life had gone out when he left.

They were slowly drawn away for as long as he was gone from me.

They didn't get fixed.

They only dimmed down until my life was taken.

He took my life in a chance to save me.

But what he didn't know is that I didn't want to be saved by him.

I wanted to be rescued.

From a human life.

I wanted him to take me to his forever.

It's Him.

It's Always Been Him.

I was pulled under, rather harshly and swept around. The lights went out and my reson for trying to swin to the surface dissapeared. It might sound bad but I didn't want to think of what Charlie, Renée or Jake would say, they weren't as important as, him.

I just couldn't bring myself to making a decision of what to do. Would I die not even trying? Or would I try and make myself swin to shore and start my life back up only seeing him in the most life threathening moments of my life?

Then I started to think of what the consequences would be if I died, not trying. Who would I hurt. How would I hurt. Would I hurt by the mere thought of me killing myself or by just not being with them anymore? Who would fill my missing presence. Who would think of me highly when someone asked about me?

No one.

Because I was giving up. I gave no goodbye or even 'I love you' before I jumped. I. Just. Left.

I suddenly felt sick to the core by my own cowardness. I just left. But that's what he did. If he would've cared. He would be here now.

If I died today I would be just like him, just leaving.

He left because he had a reason. He didn't want to pretend anymore, and in a way I didn't want to pretend anymore either. My days were made for a robot, I always stuck to the schedule, never falling out of the daze. but I still loved my dad, mom and, in a way I loved Jacob, but only platonicly, like my brother, everything would have been easier if he was my brother.

He left because he had a reason, mine was pitiful.

I couldn't take it any longer I was just numb and the lights went out.

The darkness of the water pulled me under and I was slipping away under the heavy water.

Goodbye Edward, I love you.

Edward POV

Racing to save.

Racing for love.

What have I done?

Knowing leaving was the wrong decision.

I ran.

I literally ran for my life.

Her dieing.

Wouldn't help.

She was it.

My Heart.

My Soul.

My Life.

My Everything.

I saw the vision from Alice's head and ran after her. Within seconds I was in front of the whole family. I heard their thoughts. They were questioning me and Alice's actions but just ran after. I spend the time running to Forks thinking about Bella. It hurt to think her name but now I knew I would either see her soon or I would go to Italy as soon as her heart stopped beating. I didn't dare to think about that too long but I knew what I would do if she wouldn't come back.

I thought about her face.

Her smile.

Her blush.

Her sleeping form.

Her light snoring at night.

Her skin in the sun.

Her warmth.

Her soft hair.

Her deep chocolate brown eyes.

Her fingertips grazing my face.

And lastly her warm lips moving against mine.

Oh, how I missed her. I also thought about our meadow and about prom. How beatiful she had looked. Of course she always looked beautiful to me but that color just suites perfect with her skin. I really miss her. I can't believe the lies I went through just to get her safe when she was probably safer with me around. I never blamed Jasper. Not once and I never blamed Alice either. Bella couldn't have decided to get a paper-cut on her birthday. It was imposssible for her to see what would happen on her birthday.

I really wanted Bella to have a human life but I really wanted to be the person to marry her and give her babies that we created, together. Not with someone else. I know I couldn't give her that and she knew it too, still she stayed with me and wanted to be with me forever. And what do I do. I leave her. These past months have been torturous, without her I'm incmoplete and I think everyone have noticed, especially Rosalie but she was still a bit jealous of Bella for being able to have a regular human life. But Bella didn't want that, she would give it all away for me.

It was the darkest blashemy turning away from her in that clearing. Just leaving her in the forest, she deserve so much better but as selfih as I was I felt like I couldn't give her to someone else even though I loved her, I always felt like we were meant to be. Right now I didn't care about what she would give away but I couldn't help but to think of Bella as a vampire.

Souless.

But I could never think of Bella without a soul, hers was too beautiful to take away and she had kept on telling me that I had one, but I denied the thought.

I gave those thoughts away as we were coming closer to Forks. I had recognized the cliff and beach.

La Push.

I stopped at the border and Alice came soon after. She explained her vision and gasps went through the forest. I could feel their eyes boring in to the back of my head. I turned around and looked into Alice's eyes. She was standing infront of everyone and nodded one stiff nod. I turned around and ran towards to cliffs.

I felt the wind on my felt and for the first time I could enjoy the fresh air a bit. It still reekeds of werewolf but still.

I came to the tree line and saw Bella running to the edge. I roared in rage of what she was doing. At this time I really wished I could read her mind. I came to a stop at the edge and looked down I saw where she had landed and I saw the huricane forming out in front of me. I was thinking about what I should do when I heard my family's thoughts coming to me and the connected thoughts of the werewolfes. I saw my family come through the tree line and Rosalie nodded eagerly and pointed towards the edge.

I jumped and heard Alice whisper.

"Lights go out." I could see through my family's thouhgts that the werewolfes had arrived and they weren't happy. Carlisle was explaining the situation as I was crashing through the surface of the water.

I looked frantically for Bella. I swan deeper and saw her at the bottom on the ocean floor, gripping a rock. Her jeans and shirt were moving with the strong current but it seemed like she was loosing grip. I saw her grip loosen and the last bubbles of air came through her slack jaw. I searched for her hearbeat but swam harder down to her when I couldn't hear it.

I grabbed her and cradled her to my chest. I swam to shore and saw my family minus Esme standing there with 3 werewolfes in their human form. From their thouhgts it was Sam, Jacob and Embry. Sam was still angry about us breaking the treaty but feeling sympathy for Bella. Embry was only feeling sad about Bella. Jacob was thinking about what would push Bella to these extremes. He had promised her cliff diving and when I heard I growled at him. He looked shocked then murdeously angry. Carlisle took Bella out of my arms and lay her on a blanket Sam gave them when I was swimming to shore. He listened to her heart and looked for her pulse and also tried to get her to breathe. He told me to do CPR while talking to the wolves. She didn't cough up water or anything and Jacob turned around towards a cave and hit the wall of it with his fist. I stopped the CPR and Carlisle turned back to me and said;

"We'll take her home and see if there's anything else we can do." I nodded and ran. I was in hysterics, Bella wasn't breathing and her heart wasn't loud enough for us to hear it. When I got back I put her on the bed Esme had put in Carlisle's office in our old home. After she was put down Carlisle was in and checking her values and connecting her to different wires and before he was putting in an IV with the whole family watching, she gasped and arched her back. Her eyes flew open and we could hear her heart fludder then start but we could barely hear it at all and it was faultering.