Draco subconsciously squeezed and his own hand as his eyes remained focused on the floor in front of him. He sat in a dimly lit room, slouching in a small armchair surrounded by ten others. No one their looked comfortable. Not because of the small wooden arm chairs they all resided in, but because of what they were in this room for. This was a room of Death Eaters. Ex-Death Eaters in fact. You would think that being surrounded by people who have similar trauma as you, for very similar reasons as you, that it would make it easier to talk about. It wasn't though. These men and women once held a title that administrated fear and radiated power. It was a title that held no room for weakness. And although these ex-Death Eaters wanted nothing more than to erase the title they had been given, to remove the mark that had been permanently embedded onto their skin, to move forward...talking about it seemed impossible.
"This is a safe place." Leopold, the man running this little program began. Leopold was an older man in his sixties or seventies. He, like the rest of them, wore a dark mark. His gray hair, that was more so white than gray, Draco supposed, was neatly brushed back, and his matching beard trimmed giving him a noticeable jaw line. When Leopold had first gathered the group in front of him, he had said the same words. "This is a safe place." It was clear that they did not all believe him. Leopold told them the story of his own dark mark and his time serving under that dark lord. He had met Tom Riddle when they both had still been at Hogwarts. Tom had come to influence most of his Slytherin house and Leopold was no different. It was a different time of course. Segregation between the Wizarding world and the muggle world had always been in place for both the safety of not only muggles but witches and wizards as well. The Salem Witch Trials had taught them all that much. At the time, everything Tom had argued seemed to make sense. Magical beings were superior to non magical ones and everyone needed to know that. Muggles on their own had discriminated power and rank among their own people based off much more trivial things such as the color of ones skin, or religious preference. Petty things such as that did not matter to Tom. All that mattered was that people knew their place based off the magic running through their veins. Anyone who thought otherwise was a fool.
In time, Leopold found Tom's ideals shifting. It was no longer about taking the magical community out of hiding and into the open for muggles to praise, but about destroying any link to muggles at all. Having magic was not enough, not if you had non magical blood in your genes. Muggle born witches and wizards were not witches and wizards at all but thieves of magic. People who did not deserve to have it and by being born into such a life must be eliminated for crimes they committed unwillingly. Leopold told them how when he tried to back out he was punished with the cruciatus curse. That it was enough to persuade him to never think such thoughts again. He told them how he was weak, and that he wished he could have done differently, but that he supposed none of that mattered anymore.
"Often it isn't the initiating trauma that creates seemingly insurmountable pain, but the lack of support after."
He had created this space, in hopes that ex-Death Eaters like himself, would be able to find the support they needed, because he knew it would be something difficult to come by from those who had been on the opposite end of the war.
"Lets start as always, shall we? Hello. My name is Leopold Withers and I used to be a Death Eater."
"Hello Leopold." The room echoed. Clockwise to him the next person began.
"Hello. My name is Anthony-"
"Why are we doing this?" Another interrupted. Draco looked across from him to see Theodore Nott to be the one to speak out. In the group, Theo was the only one Draco recognized. His short brown hair sat on his forehead looking wet, probably from sweating. It was something Draco noticed about him during their time in school. Theodore often sweat when he became nervous or stressed. More so than the average person.
"Why are we doing what son?" Leopold asked patiently.
"Introducing ourselves? We already know. Everyone already knows."
Draco glanced at Leopold who gave him a gentle smile.
"Because it is not for them, it's for you."
"I already know-"
"I know you know. But you need to be able to say it." Leopold turned to Anthony and nodded for him to continue.
"Hello my name is Anthony Kail, and I used to be a Death Eater."
"Hello Anthony." The room echoed.
And so went the circle went on. Andrew, Bethany, Carl, Donovan, Willis, Monica, Theodore, Franklin, Josephine. All the names seemed to mold together into background noise until there was no more talking. A nudge with an elbow brought Draco's eyes up from the ground. Everyone was looking at him now. He cleared his throat and adjusted himself in his seat.
"Um, right. Hello, my name is Draco Malfoy and I..." He brought his had up to his arm and placed over the spot where his mark resided beneath his shirt sleeve. "and I used to be a Death Eater." It was choked out, like he might throw up if he said it any slower.
"Hello Draco." The room echoed.
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"Draco, are you alright?" Stella asked, looking up from her book. Draco breathed in the fresh air and the smell of the black lake. The two sat on a blanket near the edge of a cliff, the black lake blow them. Draco had been given a task. A task he could not share with the one person he truly wanted to share it with. He feared her reaction almost as much as the task itself, thus chose to hide it from her as long as possible.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Stella nudged him with her shoulder causing him to look at her. The concern in her eyes was evident and Draco felt guilty for being the one to cause it.
"You can talk to me you know."
He gave her half smile and nodded. "I know...I know. I have some stuff going on, but I can handle it Stella. I got this. I promise."
She sighed a little and looked rather unconvinced. She gave him one last glance before returning to her book. Draco couldn't let her sooth him with her words because if she knew what was going on with him she wouldn't want to. So instead he settled for her soothing him with her presence.
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Walking up to a help desk before he lost his confidence, Draco leaned in to speak to the receptionist. Entry into the ministry itself had been time consuming, as security for the place had been made slightly stricter after Voldemort, as well as after finding out that one of the important head figures, Umbridge, had been involved with him. At the desk a woman, who looked in her late sixties turned her attention to him. Her gray hair pulled in a tight bun looked almost like it was giving her a face lift and Draco gave her an uneasy smile as she looked at his through her glasses that rest toward the end of the bridge of her nose.
"How may I help you?" She asked, Her voice much kinder than her appearance.
"Uh, yes, I am here to see Stella Simmons."
"Do you have an appointment?"
Draco shook his head no. "This is a social visit, I didn't think to make one, if shes busy I can come back some other time."
"Name?" She asked him.
"Draco," Draco cleared his throat. "Draco Malfoy." The woman paused a moment, registering the name in her head. For a moment Draco thought she might turn him away.
"One moment please." With that the woman picked up a black old fashion telephone and punched a few numbers.
"Hello, Ms Simmons, I have a...Mr. Malfoy here to see you...alright."
The woman hung up the phone and slid a piece of paper to Draco.
"This is your pass, Mrs. Simmons is located on level 2 in the-"
"Misuse of Muggle artifacts office."
The woman gave him what seemed to him like a forced smile.
"Yes."
Taking the pass Draco quickly made his was to the lifts and got inside one. Two other people stood with him as well an escort. Draco gave the floor and without much warning the lift took off in a seemingly random direction. When a voice announced they had reached the second level, Draco squeezed by the others and stepped off the lift. The main hall was dark and quiet and if Draco had not known any better he would have assumed no one was there. This was not the first time Draco had been here, however that was years ago and his confidence in finding Stella without having to find someone else to help guide him was slowly dwindling. Soon enough however, Draco could hear a muffled sound coming from the direction he was heading. The sound was odd to him, it sound something like...music perhaps? Looking at the door in front of him, the words 'Misuse of Muggle artifacts office' as well as 'Head Perkins, assistant Simmons' were engraved onto plaques attached to it. Slowly opening the door, Draco's ears were filled with a loud harmony and the voice of a man singing.
"Say it ain't so! I will not go! Turn the lights off! Carry me home! Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah!"
Stella stood in front of a filing cabinet bobbing her head to the music, mouthing the words as they played. Draco raised en eyebrow at her, unsure of what to do. Luckily he didn't have to do anything because as she looked up from her files, Stella noticed him and quickly went to turn off the music.
"There you are. What took you so long?" She asked crossing her arms with a small smile. Her blonde hair that she usually wore down was in a neat up-do, showing off her neck which showed off a thin, gold chain necklace with a blue gem attached to it that look vaguely familiar to Draco. She wore a simple navy dress that complemented her figure but all in all was not much to look at, with a pair of little black pumps. What surprised him a little was that she currently wasn't wearing gloves, though he could see them resting on the desk she was standing next to. In all the years he has known Stella, he had only seen her without gloves three times. The first was in during Care of magical creatures in fourth year, the second was when Umbridge forced her to remove them in class, and the third, well the third was when he was in the hospital wing in sixth year after Harry Potter came after him in the bathroom.
"Oh Draco..." He could hear her voice call out to him. It was a whisper but it seemed to echo around him in the empty infirmary. That was when he felt it. Her small, warm hand grasping his own cold, larger one. As he looked at her through the crack of his eyes, he watched as he she stared down at their hands. In a moment it was as if touching him had burned her, as she pulled her hand away and brought it to her chest, cradling it with her other hand. Her eyes, now brimmed with tears looked at him, and he knew she knew. He didn't understand how she knew, but he could tell by the broken hearted looked she was giving him that she knew everything.
"Draco..."
"Draco!" He blinked and realized he had gotten lost in thought.
"Sorry, I..."
"Are you alright?" She asked, titling her head to the side.
Draco nodded quickly and took a deep breath through his nose.
"Yeah, Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry I got lost. It's been a while since I have been here. Think I was maybe 14? Place looks bigger than I remember, which is strange. You would think as a person grows, small places get smaller."
"That's because it is bigger." Stella explained walking over to her desk to sit in her chair. She gestured for him to take one of the two seat in front of her desk, which Draco obliged. "It expanded some time ago. After the second war it became a bit more important, we work with the improper use of magic office a lot. These things come hand in hand usually."
Draco gave her a bored look. "Why ever would you want to work in this bloody department?"
Stella laughed and shook her head. "I don't. This is just a stepping stone. A foot in the right direction. What I want, is to work on level nine.
"The department of mysteries?"
"That's the one."
"Careful Simmons, your Ravenclaw is showing." A smile crept onto Draco face. "That would be the perfect place for you really. You always did have a passion to know the unknown."
What felt like only a few minutes of conversation soon became a few hours. Their words were light as Stella would continue to talk as she filed more paperwork and stamped a few documents. She told him how after the war she finished her schooling in America at Llvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She went on about how they too had sorting houses and in it she was sorted into Thunderbird. Something that surprised her considering she expected to end up in the Ravenclaw equivalent, the Horned Serpent. Draco explained to her how after the castle was made open to students again, he had finished his schooling at Hogwarts. He went on about how his last year there was uncomfortable to put it lightly. That everyone seemed to want to go on a if the war had not happened, like everything was normal. The house of Slytherin had a reputation to begin with but that last year...if you were in Slytherin, you were a bad person. He assumed things were different now of course. Time had passed and a new generation occupied the school, but if one thing was for sure Draco was happy to not have to go back when the summer came.
"Who did you end up marrying? If you don't mind me asking." Draco inquired.
A scoff escaped Stella and she looked at Draco as if she couldn't believe he even had to ask.
"Timothy."
"Timothy? Timothy Anderson?" Draco raised his eyebrows and looked at her in surprise.
"Why is that so shocking? We dated forever!"
Draco scowled at her and crossed his arms. "You dated on and off again forever, that's not the same thing, the guy couldn't spell commitment."
Stella gave a harsh shrug and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, clearly, seeing that we got divorced and all."
"He cheated?" Draco asked suddenly very serious.
Shaking her head no, Stella gave a sigh. "No, he didn't cheat...he just...lost interest I guess."
"I wish I could say I was surprised. Not that your not interesting Stella." He cleared waving his hands around. "With your...great personality and...super cool paperwork job..."
"Nice." Stella deadpanned.
"All I am saying is they guy was a flake. He was a flake in school, he was bound to be a flake as an adult. I know that may have been hard for you to see with all the charm and broad shoulders, but If I recall correctly, and I didn't want to say this but...I told you so. "
"And..I knew that, sorta. When I ran into him once I got back home I just thought, maybe things would be different. I never minded the flakiness in school. We were kids, we didn't need to commit to each other forever, it was just fun. In the end he always came back to me, so I guess I just thought maybe there was a reason for it."
"How tragically romantic of you."
"Shut up. If I recall correctly, you had quite a few admirers when we were in school as well. That is until they got to know you and threw up in their own mouths." She jabbed with a smirk.
"I was prince charming." Draco retorted.
"You were an ass."
A slight chuckle escaped Draco.
"Yeah, I kinda was. You stuck around though, so I couldn't have been all that bad."
Stella nodded a little and folded her hands.
"I suppose I always have had a soft spot for damaged goods."
"Broken am I? You going to fix me?" Draco asked, his voice a slightly harsh at her description.
"I'm not trying to fix you; I don't think you need to be fixed. I'm not trying to turn you into someone else. I only want you to be who you already are. Because I think I know the real you. I think I've seen him."
Draco says nothing, his chest tightening a little.
"I don't care what anyone else says about you," Stella tells him. "I think you're a good person."
She stands from her desk and puts on her coat and walks over to Draco still sitting in the chair, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Even if your real shit at showing it sometimes." Stella then makes her way to the door. Draco stands and turns to face her.
"Where are you going?"
Looking over her shoulder, Stella raises her right arm and points to her watch.
"Time to go home."
Alright so there is the second chapter. I am trying to do this while staying true to the timeline as best I can. This story is supposed to be around 5 years after Hogwarts and being that everyone was in Hogwarts in the 90's this would make the year 2003-2004ish So of course things like music and electronic devices will be different. I don't know...but please tell me if you guys are liking it so far, I do love to read comments.
