4 years ago…
"Push!"
Octavia was exhausted, her face drenched with sweat. She'd been in labor for several hours, which the midwife had assured her was normal for a first child. She felt as if she were being ripped apart from the inside.
Shaking her head, she sobbed, "I can't- I…"
The midwife, a woman in her late sixties by Octavia's guess, sat in front of her spread legs, her apprentice at her side. She rubbed Octavia's leg soothingly. "Breathe, and push."
She pulled in a steadying breath, braced herself, and pushed.
The intense pain Octavia had felt up until now had somewhat been eclipse by the feeling of pressure on her lower abdomen. And the physiological need to push.
In Lincoln's stead, Nyko sat by her side, holding her hand and giving her strength. He wiped sweat off her brow. Nyko had held her hand as she went through the worst pain of her life. He'd been her rock, not just through labor, but throughout the entire pregnancy. Octavia knew Lincoln had been like a brother to him, but she knew Nyko didn't do it out of some sense of obligation he might have to Lincoln, he did it because he was her friend.
On the other side of bed, Indra stood by, watching silently.
Octavia took a deep breath and pushed again, with all her might. Then, she fell back on the bed, breathing hard. She felt drained, spent.
Indra took Octavia's free hand in hers and looked her straight in the eyes. One look from her former mentor was all it took.
"You are a warrior," Indra told her. "This is your fight. Now fight! Push!"
Indra was right. She could do this, she was strong enough. She was a warrior.
Octavia pushed.
"I can see the head. Push!" the midwife encouraged.
Indra squeezed her hand tighter. "Push!"
A few pushes later, she heard it.
Her baby. Their baby.
"A girl," the midwife announced.
The tiny baby wasn't too happy to have been ripped away from the comfort and safety of her mother's womb. She wailed and squirmed, red faced and covered in white goo and blood.
The midwife deposited the wailing baby on Octavia's chest and her apprentice cut the umbilical cord with a knife; then Nyko covered the infant with a small blanket. He smiled down at them.
Octavia looked at her daughter in wonderment. It was such a relief to finally hold her child in her arms.
"She's perfect," the midwife declared.
Octavia knew she'd meant that her child had no physical deformities, as she knew it could happen due to the radiation left on the planet, but she couldn't agree more. Looking down at her baby, Octavia smiled. "Yes, she is."
She and Lincoln had made this beautiful little girl together, in love and lust and joy. Was that why she was so incredibly lovely, so wonderfully perfect?
She lifted her baby's little hand and brought it to her lips. "Hi, baby."
After, when they were both cleaned up and settled, Nyko sat beside Octavia's bed, holding her newborn daughter. She'd been fed and now lay sound sleep.
"Lily," Octavia said from the bed, looking worn out. Nyko looked up. "Her name is Lily."
He nodded in understanding. He knew about the flower and what it had meant for Lincoln and Octavia. "He would be proud."
She nodded in agreement, but tears welled up in her eyes. "He should be here."
Nyko took her hand in his and squeezed.
Indra walked into the room and assessed Octavia and the child. "How are you feeling?"
Octavia smiled at her friend and former mentor. "Tired. But I'm okay."
Nyko stood and carefully handed the sleeping baby back to Octavia. "Here you go. Back to your mother."
She smiled, and sat up straighter on the bed. "I'm glad you're both here, actually. There's something I want to say."
Indra and Nyko waited.
"I trust you both with my life. And, more importantly, with my daughter's life," Octavia continued. "If anything were to happen to me… I want it to be the two of you taking care of her."
Nyko nodded at once. There would be no other way for him; of course he would care for his friends' child. Not caring for Lily was out of the question for him.
Indra seemed pensive for a moment, then she took her knife and pricked her thumb with it. She came to the bed and smeared the bit of blood drawn on Lily's forehead while vowing to keep her safe and to protect her in their native tongue, followed by a kiss on her little head.
Lincoln had told Octavia about this once, the Blood Oath. The sacred vow of protection. Nyko reached for the knife and did the same.
"Thank you," Octavia whispered, deeply moved by their gesture.
She could rest easy, knowing her child would be fine if anything happened to her. Lili kom Trikru was under the protection of two of the most formidable grounders she'd ever met, her good friends, and now Lily's godparents of sorts.
Before leaving, Indra stated she was leaving for Polis in two days at the Commander's request. Ascension Day was approaching and she needed Indra's presence.
Octavia finished cleaning Lily's forehead with a damp washcloth.
"Nyko?" He looked at her. "I want to go to the field. Help me?"
Nyko helped her up from the bed and held the baby as she dressed as best as she could.
They went to the field. It was late at night and the villagers had retreated into their homes, so they were alone.
Shortly after Lincoln's death, Nyko had come to her with a dozen lily bulbs, which they had planted in Lincoln's honor. The small patch of white lilies stood as a memorial to the great man Lincoln had been. This place brought Octavia comfort and she'd often come here during the past few months.
Lincoln's memorial, the place where, together, she and Nyko had scattered his ashes. The lilies they'd planted were growing fast; some of them had already started to bloom.
Octavia sat carefully on the ground in front of the field, holding her daughter close. Nyko stepped back to give her a moment alone.
"Hey," Octavia spoke to the flowers. She felt a little silly speaking to the lilies, but this place was one of the last links she had to Lincoln; it made her feel whole and safe again. She could all but feel his presence here.
"This is your daughter," she added, then smiled down at the sleeping baby. "I can already tell she looks like you."
A tear ran down Octavia's face.
"I named her Lily, after our flower."
Maybe it was all the emotion of the past few hours or the tragedy of her circumstances, but she got choked up all of a sudden. "I miss you."
Lily fussed in her mother's arms and let out a small whimper. Octavia rocked her gently, humming a lullaby to soothe her baby. "Shh, my Lily. It'll pass."
Octavia had echoed the words Lincoln had once told her. It'll pass.
Her little girl seemed so fragile, so tiny. But no harm would ever come to her, Octavia vowed. She would always protect her child, no matter the cost.
"It's okay, you're okay. I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you, Lily." She laid a gentle kiss on her daughter's forehead. "I love you."
Octavia's heart was still weary, but all she had to do was look at her tiny daughter and she could feel the sorrow lifting.
Since Indra's announcement the day before, Octavia had had a lot on her mind. War could come again someday, whether from the Skaikru or from some other enemy. In Polis, Lily would have a better life. She would be free, as far away from war and conflict as she could be while being at the heart of grounder society. Octavia wanted her child to have no association whatsoever with the Skaikru. Lily was Trikru, like her parents.
Even though she told herself she was still thinking about it, she knew she'd already made up her mind on the matter. Lily first. Her daughter was the priority. Still, she wouldn't mind a second opinion. She exposed the situation to Nyko and explained her point of view.
"Do you agree that it's what's best for her?" Octavia inquired.
Nyko paused for a minute. "I cannot see the future, my friend," he told her. "But I think you should do what you feel is best for your child."
Octavia thought of Polis again, slowly being rebuilt from the ashes and rubble of war, with the new Commander at the helm. She took some more time to think, the decision forming in her mind, and in her heart.
Later that day, she told Nyko.
He stood by his work table, mixing herbs in a bowl.
"Nyko?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm leaving with Indra."
He stopped his work. Part of him had hoped Octavia would chose to stay, but he accepted her decision, and supported her.
"I'm so grateful, for everything you've done for us. Really," she continued. "But I have to do what I feel is best for my daughter."
They glanced at the baby sleeping peacefully in her bassinet.
Nyko nodded. He held his arms open and Octavia stepped in for a hug.
Lily had been fed and changed, and was now strapped gently to her mother's chest, looking up at her. Gavriel had already taken most of their bags outside. He'd decided to follow his mentor and maternal figure. Besides, he was already enchanted by baby Lily.
Octavia was saying goodbye to the place she'd called home for months when Nyko came in. He handed her a small package. She sniffed and detected the scent of food.
"For the way," Nyko explained.
She smiled at her friend. "Thank you."
He nodded and promised, "I'll visit whenever I can."
Picking up their last bag, Nyko walked her out.
Octavia's midwife hadn't very happy about her leaving so soon after giving birth, but both she and her daughter were fine.
Outside, Indra and Nyko shared the grounder greeting before she mounted her horse.
Nyko reached for Lily's little hand and laid a kiss on it. "Goodbye, little one. I'll visit soon."
He helped Octavia mount her ride.
"Ste yuj... sis*1."
The term of endearment made her eyes water.
As they trotted off, Octavia glanced back at Nyko and at TonDC one last time. Then, she glanced down at her daughter; and knew she was doing the right thing.
*1 "Be strong… sister."
