Disclaimer : I don't own Rizzoli and Isles. I don't own the characters. The only thing that is mine is the story-line.

-Anyone is capable of hurting you. You just have to find the one worth suffering for.-

-Bob Marley-

-o-o-o-

-Present-

"What are you doing, hiding in here?"

With that cheerful, familiar voice, Jane opens her eyes and is greeted by the smiling beautiful face of Dr. Maura Isles.

The smile she casted the ME was one only reserved for the Doctor. It wasn't a fake one, but it wasn't one that reaches her eyes. "I didn't want to steal your thunder," she answered and the honey-blonde woman shakes her head good-naturedly.

"So, I spoke to Jack earlier," Maura stated as she sat herself across her best friend. Jane stiffened immediately for some reason she doesn't know. It wasn't as if she did or said anything bad about Maura, but it was her initial body reflex. It was fortunate for the detective that the Doctor seemed to not notice as she went on saying, "he said that you gave him a 'Maura 101' today".

Holding up a finger to stop the ME, Jane corrected, "He asked me for a 'Maura 101."

"Ok," the Doctor said shrugging. "And what may have you told him about me?"

The smile from her best friend was contagious that Jane couldn't help the smile that formed in her lips; and just like the ME's gesture, she too shrugs.

"I didn't tell him that he shouldn't forget Mr. Adverb," she said teasingly and that comment alone earned the detective her favorite Maura laugh; the one that was free and without a care in the world. It was also enough to keep the smile on the detective's own lips longer, as she tries to forget that the sight before her could be the last she would witness or the last of that laugh she would hear; that soon, it may take months or even years to see and hear it again.

With still a little smile, but eyes looking thoughtful, Jane in her quiet voice added, "Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't. Maybe then, he'll forget Mr. Adverb and you'd be turned off knowing his a professor who doesn't know the proper use of adverb and then you'd change your mind about marrying him and you'll stay here with us in Boston."

Her tone was teasing, her little smile still present after her –half-meant-comment but it quickly disappeared as soon as she notices the serious look on her best friend's face. And that's when she realized what she said and what it sounded and how it could've been perceived. Not that she wasn't aware, she just didn't expect Maura to catch on. It was a mistake on her part. Her best friend is a Doctor, meticulous and the Chief Medical Examiner for Commonwealth of Massachusetts. She should've known better.

"Maur… I… I didn't mean it in a bad way. I was just…" she tried to explain, only to be stopped by the ME herself, reaching for her hand.

"Jane, you do know that if I have a choice…"

"You wouldn't move. I know," Jane cuts in and completed the rest of the sentence for her friend.

Maura nodded and reached across the table for Jane's other hand. The detective lets her.

"I understand," Jane said even without Maura saying anything. Words were not needed; she could see through to the honest hazel eyes.

A moment of silence. It may have been just a couple of seconds or it may have been minutes, but it was enough for Jane to know that she has to look away from her favorite set of hazel. She had known Maura for years and been her best friend for almost the same amount. And in those times, she had been privileged to see those eyes in numerous amount of time and even then she still couldn't expect herself to know what color it would be when she looks. Sometimes, it was almost golden brown, when the light is bright and it reflects the Doctor's eyes. Sometimes, it would be caramel brown, when the lighting is not as bright or when it'd be almost dark. There were times that it would be hazel green and it would be during their jog in the park; the green surrounding reflects in the Doctor's eyes. But her favorite is when it's the mix of brown and green. Because that color only seems to appear when the ME is happy. And it is at that moment her favorite shade of brown and green, thus she has to look away.

It wasn't because it hurts to see her best friend happy. It wasn't. She likes it, loves it even when Maura is happy. Just that, at this time, it hurts because she knows the cause of that happiness and it wasn't her. It hurts that she couldn't make Maura happy in that way. Also, sometimes, when the ME looks at her, it's as if she's trying to read her and if there's one person in the world that Jane knows could read her, it would be Maura. And sometimes, the way she looks at her, it looks as if she knows. And sometimes, there were moments when Jane wants her to know but the want of the Doctor not knowing is much stronger that the detective always finds herself looking away. Most of all, she looks away most of the time because she knows that if she continue staring, gazing, that she would lose herself. She would get lost in the depth of those kind hazel eyes and with it all her self-control that she's barely holding on to. So with an inner sigh, she averted her eyes and instead looks at their joined hands.

Maura has taken both of her hands in hers and hasn't let go yet and Jane stares while the Doctor consciously or unconsciously rubs the scarred tissue in both of her hands. And again, Jane just lets her; watches as soft fingers delicately massages the scar back and forth on both sides of both hands. The ministration is soothing and mesmerizing to watch that Jane had never had a problem with Maura touching her hands. Normally the raven-haired detective is sensitive when it comes to her hands. Nobody is allowed to touch it –even her mother- and especially the scarred part.

Maura Dorothea Isles is the only exception.

And as it seems, Maura Dorothea Isles is always the exception to any of Jane Rizzoli's rules. The Detective lets the Doctor make her eat greens and all other healthy stuff that she normally would never eat if she had a choice. She also lets Maura eat some of her fries. The ME was able to persuade her to wake up at early dawn to jog with her or even run the marathon in skin-tight running gear and not to mention with an embarrassing print on it. As such, the Doctor is also able to drag her to shopping and not just to the mall but to boutiques –sometimes, even able to convince her to buy something too. She also does yoga because Maura asked and even went as far as tried meditation with her. She's also drinking wine every now and then because of Maura. And above anything and everything else, not only did she let Maura see her cry, she also lets her hold her. She doesn't squirm away from her arms whenever her best friend offers her comfort; and in turn, the raven-haired was never short in giving hugs when it comes to the Doctor whom just like her, was not very fun of being touch especially when upset.

Jane doesn't know why she never noticed these things before. Why she never realized these before and she calls herself a detective. And they call her Boston's finest. Internally, she shakes her head at her obliviousness or maybe perhaps, stupidity.

"I've always admired your courage Jane," Maura said in almost a whisper and as if lost in her thoughts but enough to break the silence between them. It was a wonder how amidst the noise that surrounds them at the bar, that between them in their shared corner, they could create quietness. Like they're in a bubble and no one can touch them –not even the element of sound.

"You've faced worst and came out of it stronger," the honey-blonde Doctor continued, also looking at their hands –mostly Jane's. "Your actions were sometimes ill advised but… we can never fault you for being who you are." Maura's voice soft, her tone calm and it was a wonder how Jane could hear loud enough and clear regardless of the noise surrounding them. It was also a wonder how she manages to not look up and meet her best friend's eyes once again.

"You're very brave and a strong woman, in every sense and aspect of those words. You always put other's needs before yours and that includes your life," the way the ME spoke, it was as if the words were just supposed to be in the privacy of her thoughts only it was being voiced as she gazes at the scarred hands in hers.

"Just a bit hard to love," was Jane's words before she could stop herself. The words were not new to both friends; Jane has said and Maura has heard the exact words.

And at the mention of the phrase, the Doctor's eyes averted from the hands in hers and looks at the warm chocolate-brown eyes of her best friend. "You were never hard to love, Jane," she said sincerely. "Quite the contrary actually." In almost a whisper but can still be heard, she added, "the hard part is getting your love back."

With a frown in her brows, Jane opened her lips as if to argue but closes it again at lost of what to say back. For a split second her mind drifted back to the men that held her interest –Casey and Agent Dean. She loved Casey even if she was not sure in what context; she cared for Agent Dean. But now that she thought of it, she could say without a hint of doubt that what she felt for them weren't enough. It wasn't or didn't even came close to how much more she feels for the woman in front of her. The one that's very close to her, even in a physical manner that she could actually see her own reflection in said woman's eyes.

Maura.

The one very close yet very unattainable to her.

Internally she sighed at the irony. Being the best friend gives her the privilege of being the closest to the ME; it also gives her the curse of still not being close enough.

"How can you love someone, and not be able to be with them?" was the question, Maura asked her once. She wasn't able to answer her then. She didn't know how and at the same time never experienced it before. Now, she damn well knows how. She guesses her situation is worst, because Maura is just right there; so close that she's holding her hands. But she can't be with her.

She's just the best friend.

At another internal sigh, Jane decided that it's time for her to hide behind her humor. "You know, if you want to continue," her head nods in their joined hands, "feel free to do so. I'd never decline a free hand massage."

Realization downed on the ME. She then looks at their hands, her thumbs movement stopped and with a small smile she lets go of the detective's hand. Tapping it lightly before saying "That's all you'll get from me. Especially when you wouldn't tell me what you told my future husband."

At the comment or more the term the Doctor used made Jane cringed but if ever Maura noticed, she didn't show any indication of it in which the raven-haired felt a little reassured that her reaction had been as subtle.

Recovering from the initial reaction she manages to smile despite the painful constriction in her chest; and while she doesn't know where she gets the strength from to actually produce a smile when all she wants to do is curl and cry, she isn't about to complain. Maura –if she knows- would say that it is scientifically impossible to feel the way she feels, but for the detective -science be damn. She could swear to feel physical pain from all the things that's been happening around her.

"Just trust that it's all good things, Maur," she said. "You're perfect. There isn't anything bad to say about you," she added sincerely. She didn't mean to say the second part, but words were out before she realized what she was saying.

"Oh Jane…"

"Nope. Uh-ah," Jane shook her head stopping her best friend. "Don't 'Oh Jane' me," she warned, but couldn't help her lips from forming an actual –not forced- smile. The look Maura is giving her is one she had seen before. It was also a look she doesn't have a word for, only that it's mixed of something and adoration.

"What? What's happening to your face now?" she asked as she took a sip from her another almost empty bottle.

Dimple showing, still smiling, the Doctor shakes her head. In her face, in her eyes, anyone would be able to see how it lit at the thought of Jane thinking she's perfect. At Jane's question though, it was quite obvious that she remains oblivious of how her words affect the honey-blonde ME.

"Well that's good," Maura said, unable to actually find the right words or response to what her best friend had said. And just like the detective, the doctor tries to hide behind the humor. "Because as my best friend and my maid of honor, you are obliged to only say good things about me."

Jane knew Maura was teasing. No one can missed it from the glint in her hazel eyes to the tone of her voice. But yet again, the Doctor's words pulled the detective's heart strings and the pain struck again –not that it actually went away even for a second.

Jane didn't for the life of her knew it would hurt so bad to have 'The Best Friend' title in Maura's life.

Biting the inside of her cheek and unable to summoned yet another forced smile, Jane resorted to finishing the rest of her beer. It was either unfortunate or fortunate for the detective that when she placed the bottle down and eyes landed at the door, she was provided an escape from the Doctor's company. At the door, arrived Maura's 'Entertainment' so-to-speak.

Jack Armstrong.

Normally, Jane will not trade her time with her best friend over others neither would she give It up for Jack; but at the moment, Maura's closeness although is still what she craves for, has somehow become a torture –being so close and yet so far. She never understood that phrase before until now.

"And on that note of saying 'Good' things about you; I also found a good or the best entertainment for you." The detective then nods her head behind Maura urging the ME to look behind. When the Doctor did and saw her fiancé, when she turned back to face Jane all smile and bright eyed, Jane even with a heavy heart knew then that she had picked the perfect source of entertainment for her best friend.

Shrugging at the unvoiced 'thank you' of the ME; seemingly nonchalant, Jane said "I thought Jack would look good in a police uniform." A comment accompanied by a playful wink and her infamous smirk. "Go on," she motioned and encourage her friend. "Enjoy your entertainment."

Smiling even brighter, her dimple ever showing, Maura stood but before actually leaving the detective, she went to Jane's side of the table, bent and locked her in her arms. Jane even though taken by surprise automatically return her best friend's hug. And when the Doctor stayed prolonging the embrace, Jane didn't even try to stop herself from wrapping her arms tighter around Maura, closing her eyes in the process and basked in the moment while it last.

Of course, the moment didn't last. Soon Maura's arms loosened and Jane knew it's time to let go. She did and was left watching her best friend all but run to her future husband whom happily greeted her with a light kiss and made her seat in one of the stool. Unknowingly, the lanky detective bit the inside of her cheek yet again as she watches the professor performs his version of 'sexy dance'. Every female tech in Maura's lab attended and most of the female officer's in BPD did too, all seemed to be enjoying Jack's antics; everybody were smiling and even the males in the premises were laughing, but Jane's eyes were only trained to the ME. Every smile, every laugh, every kiss, all were like salt added to an open wound. It was a wonder to Jane how she's still alive.

And when Maura turns to her, smile a permanent fixture to her ever beautiful face, hands motioning for her to come over, Jane still manages to summoned a smile while shaking her head and with her eyes conveyed to the ME 'to go have fun'.

Maura did her 'eye thing' –as expected- with the detective whenever she wants Jane to do something, but before Jane could succumbed –fortunately- Jack's hand cups the honey-blond Doctor's cheek and turns her face to him as he playfully exaggeratingly rolls his hips. When Jane was sure that Maura's attention has been fully diverted and won't be looking at her direction any time soon, she bowed her head, silently swallowed the lump in her throat and secretly wipes a lone tear that escaped her eye.

"Janieee!"

At the sound of Frankie's booming voice –clearly not at all sober- and loud flop in the chair recently vacated by the ME made Jane straightened her posture again, strong and unfazed masked placed.

"What are you doing here?"

With and eyebrow raised, Jane gave her brother that pointed look that didn't need words to be explained. And of course, Frankie understood.

"I mean, the party is over there," he clarified, even turning to where Jack is at –swaying his hips and bottom at the very red-faced Doctor Isles while the rest laughs.

"I like that guy," Frankie stated as he turns and faces is sister again. Once face to face with Jane, Frankie's face turned serious, eyes full of warmth and adoration for his sister, voice now sober he said, "But I always like you more."

Meeting her brother's eyes, Jane knew. Her brain may not want to acknowledge or may want to remain oblivious of what her brother meant, but her gut certainly knew. And being Jane Rizzoli that she is, she chose to ignore it and motioned for another beer to one of the walking waitress.

"You've been acting differently and strangely lately," the younger of the two Rizzoli commented. "It wasn't very obvious but I can detect it every now and then. I didn't know why then. I didn't find out straight away. But now…"

"Now what?" Jane barked interrupting her brother. She felt bad in an instant for snapping at Frankie, but couldn't bring herself to apologize.

The younger Rizzoli still looks at his sister kindly and curiously. "We are all gonna miss Maura, Janie. But let's just say I know it must be extra difficult for you."

'You have no idea,' Jane thought.

Regarding his older sister and carefully choosing his words, Frankie stated, "I'm a detective."

"Geeze that's a surprise," Jane retorted in her typical sarcasm.

Regardless of the interruption, Frankie ignored his sister's comment and continued on. "I'm observant, knows you very well, but quite frankly anybody didn't need to be a detective to really see…"

"Stop being a damn cryptic and get to your point," Jane ordered impatiently.

But to Jane's annoyance, Frankie just shakes his head. "I'm not gonna say it Janie." Still remaining calm, his tone staying the same he added, "if you're not even ready to say it yourself, then I know you're not ready to hear it either."

Jane chose not to say anything and almost choke on the amount of beer she just swallowed –action not lost to her sibling.

"I know, Janie." Frankie repeated quietly, looking straight in Jane's eyes and studying her face. After a few seconds of silence or maybe a minute, the younger detective shook his head. "It's almost funny, no one can beat you in poker because of your implacable poker face. Except," he paused and waited a heartbeat if his sister would make any sort of reaction –she only blink. And that blink is enough of Frankie. "Except when it's about Maura."

"You know what?" Jane dared asks again only to be answered but another shake of his sibling's head.

With no indication of ever answering Jane's question, the younger Rizzoli quietly turns to where the ME is at, watching said Doctor happily laughing with their colleagues and staff as her fiancé continue to provide them entertainment. When Frankie turns his attention back at his sister and caught a glimpse of Jane's profile while her eyes also at the Doctor, he could do nothing but sigh.

In front of him is not the Jane Rizzoli he came to know growing up. It's not even the Jane Rizzoli he had seen before. He never saw this side of his sister ever.

"I've always and will always admire you, you know," he said and his words caught Jane's attention back at him. "I've always idolized you. Always looked up to you. I couldn't be anymore prouder to be your brother."

Jane was silent and patiently listens to her brother. She doesn't know where he's going with all the things he has been saying and frankly couldn't follow their flow of conversation but she decided to listen. She owes it to him after snapping at him for no reason earlier.

"But I'm afraid I'm about to see my big sister, Jane Rizzoli, do the biggest mistake of her life."

Confused and with deep crease in her forehead, "what are you talking about?" Jane asked.

"Why are you keeping quiet?" Frankie asked back, his tone for the first time changed to one of frustration. "Do you know how hard it is to see you nowadays? To be around you and watch you?"

"Well then don't be around me!" Jane retorted back. "There, problem solve." She added and finished her bottle of beer and again ordered another one. She may be going over her limit but she passed caring. She and Maura can catch the cab later.

"Janie…" Frankie started, his tone calmed again.

"Frankie. Don't."

Jane cuts him off again, but not like the way she did earlier. This time, her voice were just above whisper and her tone lack of vigor. This time, Frankie could not only see but also hear the tiredness in his sister's voice.

Shaking his head again, the younger Rizzoli decided to press on. Someone needs to talk some sense to Jane. He may not know if others had figured it out yet, but he just could not stand idly by anymore and just watch his sister try her best to hide her –for lack of a better word- miserable state.

"Nobody's gonna judge, Janie. Why are you not saying anything? Why did you never tell her?"

Peeling yet another label from her bottle while she waits for the new one, she sighed. She doesn't have any energy and obviously her brother will not let this go. She also knows that there's no way she could lie her way out. She passed that chance.

Looking at the similar brown eyes, Jane saw his brother patiently waiting. She watch her brother watch her, noticing that he noticed she didn't deny nor deflect.

"Look over there," Jane motioned her head towards where Maura is at. "What do you see?"

Frankie did as he was told and look. "I see Maura." He answered and added, "I also see her glancing here every now and then every time I turn and look at their direction. And right now, I see her looking over here and beckoning you to join them over there."

Without warning, Jane slaps her brother lightly at the back of his head. When Frankie sharply turns back to her again, she clarified. "Do you see Maura's smile? Do you see that bright, dimple-showing smile?"

Rubbing the back of his head from where Jane had hit him, the younger detective nodded.

"Do you see that guy?"

Again Frankie nodded.

"That guy. That guy dancing like an idiot is the reason behind Maura's smile." She said sighing and standing up to walk over to where her best friend is located.

"That's why," she answered as she walk passed her brother before he could say another word.

'Sometimes. Sometimes, you just have to smile. Pretend everything is okay. Holds back the tears, and just walk away.'

But Jane Rizzoli didn't walk away. She walks straight to where her best friend is.

She walked towards Maura Isles –the reason of her pained smile and held back tears.

A/N : I apologize for any type and grammatical error. This is not Beta version. Also, both this chapter and chapter 1 is written mostly to show Jane's POV. I am currently contemplating if I should also do chapters to show Maura's POV in maybe (or maybe not) future?