Chapter 2 – Time Won't Let Me Go
It was a year ago, Lily Evans could recall, that she lost her best friend. True, she had other friends; true, she was likely to lose her friend to the side of the war he was lurking on, but death, like that was undeserved. She never knew exactly how he died. She heard that a werewolf had been on campus and that Sev had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was always that way. Everyone always said "wrong place at the wrong time." Is there ever a good place or a good time?
Time stood still in Lily's mind, everyday, like the first day of grief. It wasn't the grief that touched her. It was that someone fell. It seemed odd. One had fallen at Hogwarts, of all places. No longer did Lily feel untouchable. No longer did it seem like she would only read about deaths of classmates' families. No. She knew, this death had woken her up from naivety, she would soon enough be reading about deaths of people she knew. Friends, classmates. They were all next.
Lily had come closer to her other friends: Mary MacDonald, the dark brunette of Hogwarts known for her ability to flunk her Divination O.W.L.s; Alice Liddell, the dirty blonde with whom Lily had been friends with since third year; and Emily Woodville, the Ravenclaw of the group. Ever since Emily told one of her brothers to stop calling Lily a mud-blood when they were forth years, they'd been inseparable ever since.
Lily had also noted after Sev's death that the Marauders were oddly enough, separable. James began hanging out with Frank Longbottom and after a while, Remus Lupin. Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black had become good friends along with a Ravenclaw named George Swynford, and Sirius had effectively ended his friendship with George by sleeping with George's sister Margaret and trying to seduce the other sister, Kathryn.
In Lily's case, however, it wasn't as though she was avoiding life, life was avoiding her, for a good reason.
She had so far blown up three potions, and had just blown up her forth. Professor Slughorn was getting more astounded by the day at how far the Star-Pupil of Potions was slipping into failure.
"Lily," Emily whispered to Lily, "Just give up. You can fail one measly potion. It isn't the end of the world."
"Just my grade." Lily snapped as she began her fifth try of the same potion.
"Lily, you have the best marks in the class, one bad potion will not tarnish your grades." Emily said as she perfected her own potion.
Lily sighed. "Fine. I give up." Lily said, taking some of her explosive potion and bottling it. She walked up to the front of the classroom, past the last few occupant of the class, the lasts to finish. Handing Slughorn the horrible potion grudgingly, she walked back to her table, grabbing her stuff, and effectively leaving, Emily soon following her.
"Lily, no need to be so angry about a simple potion grade." Emily said as she ran to catch up with Lily.
"It's not the grade." Lily snapped.
"Then what is it?" Emily asked as she finally caught up with Lily, out of breath and out of shape.
Lily's eyes widened, some sort of revelation Emily was presuming and before Emily could realize anything, Lily was walking fast, away from Emily. Too fast for Emily to catch up without dying in the process.
Pausing, Emily took her bag off of her shoulder and rested it on one of the walls, catching her breath. It was in that short quarter of a minute, that Sirius Black decided to leave Potions. It was an odd thing with Sirius and Potions. Emily knew that Sirius aced the class simply, some days, he was the first student to leave the classroom, yet some days, he was the last.
"Hey Emily." Sirius said, throwing a cocky grin on his face as he slowly moved himself towards Emily.
Emily rolled her eyes and Sirius noted the way the green in her eyes outshone the blue parts when the light hit them correctly. "Sirius, I don't care how horny you are, I'm not sleeping with you. No matter how much you tell me that it'll piss of Tom, Nick, and Nat, I would like to keep my virginity, thank you very much." Emily said, her words dripping with disdain.
"So sleeping with me wouldn't piss off Austin?" Sirius joked. "And hold on, virgin? I thought you lost it last summer." Sirius said.
Emily looked at Sirius, thought for a moment, and snickered. "Sirius, that was my friend, Mildred. How in the world do you even confuse the two of us?"
Sirius shrugged.
It was then, that Peter Pettigrew left the Potions classroom. Unlike Sirius, Peter was always late; he was the worst in the class and really, he should've dropped the class.
"What're you two talking about?" Peter asked, walking up to the two.
"Sirius confused me and Mildred up. He thought I lost my virginity last summer, when in reality it was Mildred." Emily explained.
Peter faked a surprised face. "Mildred lost her virginity over the summer?"
"Peter, don't be so naive and think sex is saved marriage." Sirius explained to his naive friend.
"And honestly, Peter," Emily grinned to herself, "Don't act like you don't know, I mean you were the one she slept with." Emily said innocently, pretending she was saying something as common as a school assignment.
Sirius turned to look at his friend. "Finally?" He Sirius asked happily.
"Sirius you were the only non-virgin in our dorm. James is pining after Lily, Remus doesn't feel like he deserves girls and he thinks it's wrong, and Frank is, Frank." Peter bluntly said. A year prior, Peter Pettigrew would never have been so bold to say something like that without wearing a grin on his face afterwards. Sadly and sinisterly enough, Severus Snape's death had helped Peter Pettigrew. Taking the role as the 'middle-man' since Sirius was the problem, Remus was too sulky, James too enraged, and Frank too un-clued in, Peter had gained self-confidence, and sensibility alongside his appreciation for loyalty.
"Frank is pining after Alice." Emily butted in for her friend.
"Frank is still Frank." Peter and Sirius identically said.
Emily rolled her eyes. "It's mean to say that Frank doesn't get any because of the way he is," Emily pointed out.
"Sure." Peter and Sirius said.
Love was a state of mind. Regulus Black was sure of this; just like insanity and delusion, love was a simple state of mind. He hoped this true, because maybe his friend would snap out of this state of mind, seeing as Barty was pathetically in love. His friend Barty Crouch (Jr. to be specific) wasn't in love with Regulus, he was in love with the golden blonde haired girl sitting in front of the two.
Kathryn Swynford.
The golden blonde haired Slytherin was lusted after since the year's beginning when the male population of Hogwarts noticed her ... nice features. When Kathryn Swynford began her fifth year, she was quite noticeably more ... grown. Her curves had formed, her breasts had filled, and she got robes that were probably too small, but not tight enough for every guy in Hogwart's imagination.
Most of Hogwarts' male population stopped lusting after Kathryn when they realized she was out of reach (and George Swynford would probably rearrange their face), Barty was one of the few who still lusted after her.
"Her hair looks like heaven." Barty sighed as the fifth year Slytherins and Hufflepuffs were supposed to be listening to one of Professor Binn's lectures, Regulus and Barty never really paid attention, but somehow, Regulus felt that today he would rather listen to the ghost's droning of Goblin Rebellions than listen to how perfect Kathryn was.
"Barty, we don't care how perfect her hair is." The Hufflepuff on the other side of Regulus said, talking over Regulus. Regulus knew her, she was Eleanor Emerson. She was a nice girl, red hair, and was one of the few kids to intend to take History of Magic N.E.W.T. for pleasure. She had never fallen asleep during a History of Magic class, but fell asleep in nearly every Divination class. She sat next to Regulus in Divination as well, and the two met when they were nine. She had an older brother Patrick and a cat named Specka.
"But her hair is so shiny and perfect. I wonder if it's soft." Barty sighed, lovesick.
Kathryn turned around and threw a whipping look at Barty. "Don't even think about touching my hair Barty," She snapped before turning back around.
"Wow." Eleanor said. "The shrew doesn't want people touching her hair."
Kathryn whipped around once more. "I'm not a shrew, I have a better social and educational life than you, but maybe you're jealous of my looks and must call me names for your self-confidence. So honestly, Eleanor, call me names, it won't make you better, it'll just make you the shrew."
Eleanor rolled her eyes. "I'm the shrew?" She asked and Regulus wished that it was Eleanor behind Kathryn, and not him.
"Yes," Kathryn bluntly said, "You are, now be quiet, I would like to pass this class. Some of us don't have the option of stealing our older siblings' notes."
"Of course you don't Kathryn, both of your siblings just failed their O.W.L.'s last year for this class." Eleanor smugly said.
"As opposed to your brother who cheated his way through," Kathryn's fight was cut off.
"You two just shut up." Regulus whipped at the two, physically turning Kathryn around.
"You didn't have to end our fight." Eleanor said.
"Trust me, I had to." Regulus said.
"Lily?" Remus Lupin asked. "Lily?"
Lily was currently trying to balance about ten or fifteen reference books for a History of Magic essay.
"Lily? Do you need any help with those?" Remus asked.
"Uh, sure." Lily said, almost dropping every book.
Remus grabbed half of the books and put them on the table. Grabbing half of the remaining, he sat down at the table, Lily took the seat across the table from Remus, opening one book.
"Lily." Remus said softly.
"Can you pass me that book?" Lily pointed to a book next to Remus.
Remus passed Lily the book. "Lily."
"Can you pass me that book?" Lily pointed to another book.
Remus shook his head and Lily grabbed for the book, but Remus swiftly grabbed it from her and held it up from Lily's reach. Lily stood up to grab the book, but Remus was taller and stood up, holding the book from Lily. "Lily." Remus said.
"What?" Lily asked exasperatedly.
"You're acting really weird. You've been doing it for a while. Did you ever get over Sna-Severus's death?" Remus asked.
Lily nodded.
Remus raised an eyebrow.
"Not fully, but that's not, arg, never mind." Lily rambled, grasping for a different book.
"Lily," Remus said and Lily looked up at Remus, green met amber, "Are you sure you're all right?"
Lily slowly shook her head. "It isn't so much the grief though." She said.
"What's wrong?" Remus asked.
Lily opened her mouth and then her eyes widened and she shook her head. "Nothing." She said the way a child denies stealing from the cookie jar. "Absolutely nothing." She lied, easily and yet unconvincingly.
"Lily, neither of us believes that." Remus said.
Lily looked up at Remus. "Nothing about Sev's death is bothering me, now if you'll excuse me, I have an essay to finish."
Remus shrugged and left the library.
"So you're positive that she isn't still moping over Snape's death?" James asked and Remus and Frank sighed.
It wasn't normal that even Frank sighed at James's inquiries.
"James," Frank said, "Stop freaking out so much."
"For once I agree with Frank." Remus said.
"For once?" Frank asked.
"It's not freaking out, I'm just wondering." James argued for himself.
"For once?" Frank asked again.
"James," Remus exasperatedly said, "Even if she is over Snape's death, which I doubt she is, she still isn't really going to like you." Remus paused and then added. "Also, if she ever really figures out how Snape died, you really won't have a chance."
Frank sniggered. "He's right there mate." Frank had been clued in on part of Snape's death. James and Remus had decided to tell Frank about Remus's lycanthropy. Both left out the part of animagi, but did tell him that Sirius knew and told Snape. Frank had originally been angry, he had confronted Sirius once about it, but began to follow James and Remus's actions and just ignored Sirius.
James rolled his eyes. "Hey, I would've saved Snape, but I didn't find out in time." James argued.
Frank raised an eyebrow.
"I would've." James argued.
"Sure you would've." Remus said and Frank nodded.
"Well I would've." James argued.
"James," Remus said, "You hated Snape and he was the one person, in your mind, in between you and Lily. Honestly, I sincerely doubt that you would've saved him." Remus said.
"I would've!" James argued. "And I bet that if I had saved Snape, he would've stopped being a git, been nice to me, and Lily, seeing how brave I am, would've fallen for my charms and I would have her to myself."
Frank raised an eyebrow, questioning James. "James, if you had saved Snape, I doubt Snape would've liked you, and I sincerely doubt Lily would come around, especially if she knew that at the time, your best friend had done it." Frank finished with an emphasis on reality.
"For once, I agree with Frank." Remus said.
"For once?" Frank asked. "You always say 'for once,' but you say it so much, can't you just say 'I agree with Frank?'" Frank ranted.
"Okay, Frank," James said cautiously, "Calm down. No need to get as testy as Remus when I stole some of his chocolate."
"It was German Chocolate!" Remus argued.
James rolled his eyes. "You attacked me with a spoon."
Frank sniggered a bit. "A spoon, honestly Remus, I would've used a knife."
"Traitor!" James joked, throwing a book at Frank, which he promptly caught.
"You have apparently never tasted German chocolate if you think that." Frank pointed out.
James took in a dreamy sigh, as though he were siphoning a memory, "No, I remember that taste." He earned a glare from Remus.
"One." Mary said, motioning to a seventh year Ravenclaw.
Alice looked up. "Pass."
Emmeline Vance roller her eyes at the girls a year above her "When are you ever going to stop playing 'one-two-three' and just ask out Lupin like you totally want to?" Emmeline asked.
Alice looked at her friend. "Em! Don't say it so loud!"
Emmeline rolled her eyes once again, a habit she enjoyed doing. "Alice, your crush on Remus couldn't get anymore obvious."
"I don't know, I mean it could be as bad as James' crush on Lily." Dorcas pointed out as she flipped through a copy of Witch Weekly.
"And still," Alice said, "Don't advertise it."
"Honestly Alice," Lily said, walking up to the table, "You advertise it already. Always so 'head-over-heels' for him. It's a wonder that he doesn't know already." Lily sat down next to Alice. "You should just ask out Frank, he's totally crushing on you."
Alice wrinkled her nose. "He's a dork."
"I think he's sweet." Lily said.
"Well then, you can have him." Alice said.
"I don't want him, he isn't my type, he is however, your type." Lily pointed out.
"And I suppose your type is someone like James Potter." Alice said offhandedly.
Lily's eyes flared red, something emerald eyes normally don't achieve unless it's around Christmas time. "I. Do. NOT. Like. James. Potter." Lily snarled.
"I was just joking Lily."
"Two." Mary said, pointing to a third year Hufflepuff.
"Lockhart?" Alice asked. "Heck no, he likes his hair more than he likes girls. Not to mention that he's fourteen!"
"Alice, it wasn't a funny joke. You and Emily keep saying I'm in love with Potter, since forth year when he first asked me out." Lily said.
"Yeah," Emmeline said, glancing up from an issue of a new magazine called The Quibbler, she found it amusing, "Alice, the joke got old really fast, when you started it two years ago."
"I'm with Emmeline." Lily said.
"Three." Mary proudly said, motioning to James Potter's two confidences.
"Remus?" Alice asked excitedly. "I'll take him."
Mary sniggered. "The other one. You get Frank Longbottom as your true love." Mary cooed jokingly.
"Just for that Mary, I say that you get to marry Peter Pettigrew." Alice said.
"Hey," Mary interjected, "According to Millie Mick, he's pretty good in the sack."
Alice rolled her eyes.
"Millie Mick?" Dorcas Meadows, the girls other roommate, inquired.
"Mildred McStravick, Ravenclaw, our year." Mary quickly spoke.
"Why Millie Mick?" Dorcas asked.
"Well Peter probably could get a better girl but she's ni-" Mary was cut off.
Alice interjected. "She means why the nickname Millie Mick. And Millie is the nickname Emily and I gave her, and Mick is from her last name McStravick."
"Got it." Dorcas said.
Peter Pettigrew was on a mission that could backfire. "Hey Remus, can I talk to you?" Peter asked. His plan had been to try and get Sirius and James together as friends again. The two had ended their friendship right after Sirius got his two years of detention for getting Snape killed. Oddly enough, Sirius didn't get expelled. Though, could one really get expelled for telling someone a place to go. Sirius had also been banned from Hogsmeade, not that it had ever stopped him.
Peter was growing tired of being Sirius's best friend. It was a stressful job for him, it was nothing for James.
Two of the four ex-Marauders were in the common room, James and Remus were occupied in the Marauders' Map while Sirius and Frank were at Muggle Studies.
Remus got up away from James and followed Peter to a more secluded corner. Though, normally when people were here, it was a boy and a girl and they were pressed together at the lips.
"I want to make Sirius and James friends again." Peter said.
Remus laughed. "As much as that would be great, Snape has a better chance of coming back alive, James has a better chance of dating Lily and Frank has a better chance trying to get Alice to notice him. Fab-."
"I get it." Peter said. "But we can do it, together." Peter insisted.
Remus shook his head. "Sorry Peter, but I really don't think this would work, and I don't want to test my friendship with James."
Peter rolled his eyes, annoyed. "Coward." He said, pushing past Remus and accidentally knocking over Emmeline Vance, successfully making her drop her books.
Both bent down to pick up the books.
"Sorry." Peter apologized.
"It's okay, Peter." Emmeline said, grabbing the last of the books. "What were you and Remus talking about?"
"I wanted to try and make James and Sirius friends again. Remus told me it's a bad idea," Peter explained.
"It is," Emmeline said. "James and Sirius are so far gone and too proud to admit if either was wrong. You have a better chance of Snape coming back from the dead, of James getting Lily," Emmeline was cut off by Peter.
"I get it!" He said. "Sorry." He then added, "I think you're wrong, I think James and Sirius can become friends again."
Emmeline snorted. "You're so wrong. I've seen both of them, neither will break from their anger. But if you are so sure, then let's bet on it."
"Bet?" Peter asked. "With what?"
"If you can't get them to be friends by the time I come back from France after Christmas break, then you get me a date with Sirius." Emmeline said.
"And if I do get them to be friends before you get back from Christmas Break, you have to ask out," Peter paused and then said the first Slytherin that came to mind, "Regulus Black."
Both too confident for their own good shook hands on it. "Deal."
