This actually the first piece I wrote for this series, but it fitted better slightly later in the timeline. I hope you enjoy it.


From the first day he stepped onto the Enterprise, Jim has known that commanding a starship was going to be difficult. The months that have passed since the start of his five year mission have done nothing to assuage those fears. Jim likes adventure as much as the next person, more so in fact, but would a mission where everything went according to plan be too much to ask?

Take today. All they were supposed to be doing was transferring supplies to a vessel in distress. Easy, uncomplicated, a chance to take a break from the monotony of star charting.

He'd really like a mission to actually go according to plan. Preferably one that didn't end with a psycho chaining him up.

"You could make this so much easier on yourself, Captain."

Kirk glares at their captor. He'd identified himself as Jackson Kelvin, but if that was his real name Jim will eat his shirt. "I don't care," he growls. "It's not happening."

"What exactly do you think you're going to gain from this?" McCoy demands from the opposite wall. He's bound the same way Kirk is, his wrists shackles either side of his head, and captivity has done nothing for his temper.

"I told you, Doctor," Kelvin drawls. "I want the command codes for your ship."

"And I've told you you're not getting them." The thought of what Kelvin could do with those codes is not a pleasant one. No doubt Spock would be able to counteract him given time and opportunity, but if there's one thing Kirk refuses to put at risk it's his ship.

Kelvin sighs. "You say that now. I'm sure I can convince you otherwise."

McCoy snorts. "Good luck with that."

Kelvin's glare switches to McCoy, and Kirk takes the opportunity to test the restraints. It's about as effective as the last dozen times he's tried. "What do you mean by that?" Kelvin demands.

McCoy raises an eyebrow. "I've been trying to change his mind for years and never had any luck."

"Bones!"

"Well it's true. You're as pig-headed as a Tellarite. Or a Vulcan." He tilts his head to one side. "Don't tell Spock I said that."

Jim has to grin at his friend's incorrigibility, but all amusement is erased when Kelvin sighs and draws an old-style gun from behind him. "Yes, but as you see, I have alternatives." His eyes gleam with a light that doesn't look entirely sane. "I'd really be careful, Doctor."

Jim knows the look that enters his friend's eyes and shoots him a warning glare. The last thing they want is to antagonise the madman.

He isn't surprised when it has no effect.

"Maybe it's you who should be careful," Bones snaps. "Is that thing even legal?"

Jim's eyes narrow. "As a matter of fact, no. Projectile based weapons were outlawed decades ago."

Kelvin laughs. "I know, but I couldn't resist." He strokes the gleaming barrel. "This, gentlemen, is a Nagant M1895. One of the most famous guns of old Russia. Cost me a small fortune, but it was worth every penny."

Sulu would be in heaven now, let alone Chekov, but all Jim can think about is just how much damage that sort of weapon can do. "I don't care about the history," he snarls. "What do you want?"

Kelvin weighs the revolver in his hand easily, and Jim has a sudden rush of foreboding at the anticipation in his eyes. "Tell me, Captain; have you ever heard of the old Earth game Russian Roulette?"

Kirk's breath hitches. He can't be thinking what Jim thinks he is. No one is that insane. Then he remembers some of the things he's seen and looks at the expression on Kelvin's face and knows he's mistaken. Opposite him McCoy's face flushes with rage-filled understanding.

"You sick bastard-"

"Enough, Bones," Jim snaps. He let his lip curl, refusing to let Kelvin have the satisfaction of seeing just how rattled he is. "I've heard of it, but it won't do you any good. You're not getting any of those codes."

Kelvin sighs and twirls the gun round his finger and Jim's heart sinks. "I thought as much. Starship captains are known for being free with their own lives."

"Then why..." His voice trails off abruptly as fear even more potent than a moment ago rushes through him. "Don't you dare!" Not this, anything but this...

Kelvin laughs, a manic sound that sets Kirk's teeth on edge. "I see you've figured it out, Captain. Not bad." His smirk widens as he raises the weapon and points it straight at McCoy. "Let's see if you consider your friend's life of more value."

McCoy glares at him. "If you think for one second that this is going to work-"

"Bones, shut up," Jim rasps.

"Jim-"

"I said that's enough."

Kelvin glanced between the pair of them, his blue eyes dancing with glee. "Well, well, well. Looks like I was right."

"Except you're not," McCoy snarls. "He's not giving you anything."

Kelvin folds his arms, his grin widening. "Then why doesn't he tell me that himself?"

For the first time in a long time Kirk finds himself at a loss for words. This isn't supposed to happen. It's supposed to be him who gets threatened and injured, not McCoy. McCoy, who would treat his worst enemy without a second thought, and who has never let Jim down. Kirk refuses to lose him to an over-ambitious pirate.

And yet Kelvin won't just have command of the Enterprise with those codes. He'd be able to access every Starfleet database; mission reports, orders, personnel files, technological information... The consequences don't bear thinking about.

"Jim?"

Kirk wrenches his mind back to the present to find McCoy staring at him. The doctor's eyes are wide with rising concern, and it's almost enough to break Jim's resolve.

But McCoy would never forgive him if he did that. And he would be right not to. Jim straightens as best he can and looks Kelvin straight in the eye.

"Doctor McCoy is correct," he says as calmly as he can manage. "Starfleet officers do not submit to intimidation and interrogation."

For a moment doubt shows in Kelvin's eyes, and Kirk mentally thanks Spock for helping him perfect his poker face. If Kelvin can just realise how foolish this course of action is...

But then the doubt is gone, and the last of Kirk's hope dies as Kelvin reaches into a pocket and withdraws a single bronze bullet. "We shall see."

Kirk's hands clench into fists as Kelvin loads the revolver. The movements are quick and practised, and Jim wonders how many other people have had to experience this before forcing the thought aside. He can't afford another distraction. He knows Spock will be working on finding them, but whether he will arrive in time or not is another matter. If they're to get out of this undamaged, they can't afford to rely on anyone but themselves.

"There's no need to do this," he says. He forces himself to keep the scowl from his face, instead putting all the charm he's famous for into his voice and body language. "Why don't you tell me why you're doing all this? Maybe I can help?"

He ignores the incredulous look McCoy shoots him in favour of watching Kelvin, but isn't surprised when the man just snorts. "You can't help me, Captain. Besides," he spins the cylinder, "this way is much more fun."

Kirk swallows, desperately searching for an alternative, but the gleam of the spinning cylinder is almost hypnotic and he finds his usual eloquence has fled.

"So glad you're not bored," McCoy mutters.

Kirk's throat tightens. "Bones..."

"I know, Jim," says McCoy quietly. "I know."

What has he ever done to deserve the friendship of a man like this? McCoy continues to glare at Kelvin, and the familiar glare is surprisingly heartening. Only someone who has known him as long as Kirk has could see the slight tremor of his hands and the flicker of fear in his hazel eyes.

"Well isn't that sweet?" Kelvin mutters. "Wonder if you'll feel the same way in a minute."

"You bet your ass we will," McCoy snarls, and Kirk once again wonders if it's really possible to burst with pride. Then Kelvin points the gun at McCoy's head and it's all he can do to keep his knees from buckling.

Kelvin raises an eyebrow at him. "Last chance, Captain."

Kirk looks him straight in the eye. "Go to hell."

"Maybe," Kelvin agrees. "But I won't be the first there." He points the gun straight at McCoy's head and pulls the trigger.

Click.

Kirk feels like throwing up. The gun might not have been aimed at him but the adrenaline rush is still enough to make him dizzy. Then he sees the way McCoy's face has turned chalk white and is furious with himself. "Bones?"

McCoy is shaking visibly, but he nods. "I'm fine, Jim."

"This time," Kelvin agrees. "Have you reconsidered, Captain?"

Kirk hesitates, but the glare McCoy shoots him warns him not to even consider it. "No."

Kelvin sighs and raises the gun, and McCoy isn't the only one who flinches. "Very well."

Click.

Blood pounds in Kirk's ears, and his knees are once again weak. McCoy has also slumped in his restraints, his breathing harsh and ragged. Kelvin looks at Kirk and raises an eyebrow, and it takes all Kirk's willpower to meet his gaze.

"No."

The gun comes up again, and Kirk has to close his eyes. He hates himself for it.

Click.

There's a low hiss, and Kirk's eyes fly open. McCoy's hands are clenched and blood is trickling down his wrists from where his nail have bitten into his palms, but it's the barely concealed terror on his face that causes Kirk to snap. "Stop this! It's me you're angry with; threaten me!"

"Jim," McCoy hisses, but Kelvin's laugh drowns him out.

"That's not the way this works, Captain."

"Yes," Kirk grinds out. "Because you're a coward who can only attack a doctor."

"What d'ya mean by that?" McCoy mumbles, but Kelvin's eyes have narrowed.

"What did you just call me?"

Kirk ignores the widening of McCoy's eyes in favour of sneering at their tormentor. "You heard me. You're nothing but a cowardly, pathetic son of a-"

Kelvin moves faster than Kirk thought possible. The revolver comes up and Kirk's world explodes into pain.

"Jim!"

Spots spin in front of Kirk's eyes, and he finds his knees buckling. He vaguely hears McCoy swearing, and spares a moment to admire the sheer creativity his friend possesses before the pain once again blocks out all thought.

"Damn it, Jim!"

"'m all right," he slurs.

"Like hell you are. You leave him alone you pig-headed Neander-oof!"

The pained grunt does what the swearing couldn't. "Bones!" There's a sudden storm of coughing, and Kirk's concern deepens to outright terror. "Bones!" He forces his eyes open, only to clamp them shut again when the light threatens to make him throw up.

"I'm fine, Jim," comes McCoy's voice. It's no reassurance; McCoy is usually good at hiding pain, too good in fact, but he's doing a terrible job now, and that's more than enough to override Kirk's own discomfort. He opens his eyes again, more carefully this time, and squints towards the doctor.

McCoy is nearly bent double, but already he's regaining his footing. He meets Kirk's eyes and his lips twist into a hideous facsimile of a smile. "Look at us," he wheezes. "Spock's never gonna let us go out without a security detail again."

Kirk manages a grin, ignoring the way it strains his battered features. "You maybe," he manages. "I can override him."

"Not on my watch you won't."

"Enough!"

Kirk is all too happy to return his glare to Kelvin. The man's face is flushed with rage and his knuckles are white on the gun. Kirk manages a savage grin. "What's the matter? Feeling a little out of control?"

Kelvin just gives a thin smile. "Do I need to remind you which of us is holding the gun?" He raises the weapon in question, and any sense of triumph is immediately erased by the tension that appears in McCoy's body. Kelvin's grin widened and he turns to Kirk. "Well, Captain?"

Kirk stares back. His cheek throbs, and part of him acknowledges that the bone is cracked, if not broken, but the pain is manageable and he disregards it. "Don't do this."

"We've been over this, Captain," says Kelvin with a sigh. He spins the gun thoughtfully in his hand. "The M1895 carries seven rounds. We've had three. That means there's a 25% chance that the next one will have the bullet. How do you like those odds, Captain?"

Kirk's hands clench. "Kelvin, please..."

Kelvin raises an eyebrow. "Are you actually begging?"

"Jim-"

"Yes," Kirk snaps, because there's a time for pride and this sure as hell isn't it. "I'm begging you not to do this."

Kelvin studies him with something remarkably like curiosity. "Intriguing. But will you give me the codes?"

Kirk looks at McCoy. It's impossible not to see the pain and stress in the doctor's face, but it's the complete lack of hope that makes his blood burn. McCoy doesn't give up hope, it's just not in his nature. But this time, when this is at risk...

"No," he says quietly.

Kelvin gives an exaggerated sigh and pulls the trigger again.

Click.

"Damn it," McCoy chokes.

Kirk straightens up. "Bones? Bones, look at me!"

It takes McCoy far too long to raise his head. "I'm okay," he mumbles. "Sorry."

Any other situation and Kirk would laugh. Only McCoy would think of apologising for something like this. As it is, all he can do is shake his head. "Me too."

Kelvin rolls his eyes. "Touching. Truly touching. Captain, there are three rounds left. Are you really going to let this go on any further?"

Kirk doesn't, can't, take his eyes from McCoy's trembling body. "I have no choice," he whispers.

A one in three chance. If there are gods out there, let them be on his side now.

Click.

Kirk has to force himself to start breathing as McCoy's knees buckle and he slumps forward in his restraints. "Talk to me, Bones."

A low whimper is his only response, and Kirk thinks his heart is going to break. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

McCoy still doesn't reply. Kirk looks at Kelvin. He never thought he'd ever hate anyone as much as he did Nero. He was wrong. "I'm going to kill you."

Kelvin laughs. "You can try." He leans against the wall, once again playing with that infernal gun. "Two more chances. A fifty-fifty chance." Blue eyes gleam and Kirk has to fight back a shudder. "What are you going to do if he survives this time?"

Kirk can't think. He can't breathe. He would do anything for Starfleet, for his ship, but he can't do this. He can't lose Bones, his best friend, the man who is more his brother than Sam ever was. Nothing is worth that.

"Don't even think about it."

Kirk's head snaps round so fast it makes his vision blur again but he ignores that. "Bones?"

McCoy looks terrible. There's no nice way of saying it. But his jaw is set, and the fire is back in his eyes as he finally meets Kirk's gaze. "Don't you dare give him what he wants, Jim. Don't give him the satisfaction."

"Think about what you're saying, Doctor," Kelvin growls, but it's too late. Kirk looks at him, and Kelvin actually takes a step back.

"He knows exactly what he's saying, and I agree with him. Do what you want with him, and with me. You will not get those codes."

The effort drains him, but he always knew it would come to this. He's a starship captain. He knew what that meant when he took command, and he still does. McCoy does too; there's pain and fear in his face but no condemnation, and Kirk realises again just how blessed he has been. Kelvin looks between the two of them and his expression hardens.

"Have it your way then." Once again he levels the revolver at McCoy.

And then the door bursts inward in a way that does nothing for Kirk's throbbing head. He makes out a figure in Science blue, but hope turns to fear as he sees Kelvin's finger tighten on the trigger.

"No!"

Bang!

The gun fires. Kirk desperately scans McCoy's body, but Spock is in the way. He has one hand clasped around Kelvin's wrist, forcing the gun to the floor, and the other reaching for the man's shoulder, but Kirk has no interest in the struggle. "Bones!"

For a moment there's silence, and Kirk's heart stops. Please not now, not after all this.

"I'm all right, Jim."

Kirk has to close his eye in sheer relief. "The bullet-"

"His wound is superficial, Captain."

Kirk slumps forward at that, only to find himself supported by strong arms. "You have excellent timing, Mr. Spock," he mumbles.

He hears the click of the key being inserted into his restraints then Spock's cool voice. "I apologise for the delay, Captain. This vehicle was somewhat troublesome to access."

"I'll bet it was." The manacles fall away and he staggers, waving off Spock's offer of assistance. "Help McCoy."

Spock hesitates, his dark eyes searching Kirk's bruised face. "Captain-"

"Captain Kirk!"

Kirk ducks around Spock before the Vulcan can move to stop him and freezes. Sulu is standing by McCoy waiting for the key, but his eyes are wide and he seems frozen in place. Kirk follows his gaze and lets out a curse.

McCoy is bleeding from the neck where the bullet grazed him but that isn't what draws Kirk's attention. The doctor's eyes are fixed on the floor, unseeing, or unwilling to see, their rescuers, and his entire body is shaking so hard that only the restraints are keeping him upright. Worse is still is the sound of his breathing, harsh and rapid and becoming more so with every passing second.

Kirk swears again and darts over to him. "The key, Spock; now!"

Vulcan speed means that Spock reaches the doctor at the same moment Kirk does, but Kirk pays him no attention. "Breathe, Bones. It's over, it's all right."

It's no good. McCoy is hyperventilating worse than ever, his eyes are glazed, and Kirk is horrified to find his skin is ice cold. He doesn't even attempt to support himself as Spock releases the shackles, and only the Vulcan's quick actions keep them both from tumbling to the floor.

"Captain, what-"

"Contact the Enterprise," Kirk snaps. "He's going into shock, or something, I don't know." He holds his friend close to him, his fear deepening when McCoy gives a low moan. Kirk follows his gaze again, and his grip tightens involuntarily at the sight of Kelvin still sprawled on the ground. "And get him out of here."

Spock nods. "The brig, Captain?"

"I don't care," Kirk growls. "Just get him away from us." He turns back to Bones, ignoring the movement of his First and helmsman behind him. "It's all right, Bones; he's gone. It's over."

McCoy's shudders only seem to intensify and Kirk hugs him tighter. "I'm here, Bones," he whispers. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

Then he realises what he just said and the irony almost makes him throw up. He's the reason McCoy got hurt in the first place. All of this is his fault.

"Jim."

The voice is so quiet he almost wonders if he's imagined it, but then McCoy stirs. "Jim."

"I'm here," Kirk chokes.

"K-Kelvin?"

"He's gone, Bones," said Kirk quietly. "He's gone."

He feels McCoy give a long sigh, and though the shuddering doesn't cease, his breathing calms a little. "Hobgoblin finally got here?"

Kirk has to smile at that. "Yeah, he's here."

"Good thing Vulcans have such perfect timing."

Kirk's chest hurts at the thought of what would have happened had Spock been even a minute later. McCoy's breath hitches, and Kirk forces his own distress away. "Did you just compliment Spock, Doctor?"

"He's earned it," comes the surprising reply. "If he hadn't..." His voice cracks and he ducks his head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be an idiot," Kirk snaps. He's instantly furious with himself for letting his own stress and pain get to him, but McCoy doesn't react and that scares Jim more than anything else. "Bones? Talk to me."

McCoy shakes his head. "Nothin' you c'n do about it, Jim," he mumbles. "Can't stop your officers from bein' scared, can ya?"

Kirk bites back some choice phrases. He can hardly blame McCoy for not thinking quite straight. "The man was pointing a gun at you," he says instead. "If you weren't scared I'd be ordering you to see a psychiatrist."

McCoy's body shakes in something that might pass as laughter. "So you do have some sense of medical regulations. Was beginning to wonder."

Kirk's body relaxes automatically at the banter. McCoy will be all right, eventually. He's stronger than anyone seems to realise.

Kirk just wishes he could say the same about himself.

"Jim?"

Kirk shakes himself back to the present. "Yeah, Bones?"

"Wasn't your fault."

How does he do that? Not for the first time Kirk wonders if Spock's the only telepath on the ship. McCoy gives a soft huff. "C'mon kid, I've been patchin' you up fer three years. I know when somethin's bothering you."

Kirk looks away. "He nearly shot you."

McCoy nudges him. "Better that than he got those codes."

"I don't give a damn about the codes," Kirk snarls.

But even as he says it he knows it's a lie. McCoy gives a long sigh and shifts to look him in the eye. "You did what you had to," he says quietly. "You did exactly what you should have done."

Kirk stares unable to accept that anyone could possibly accept and forgive this so easily, but there's no lie in McCoy's eyes. Fear, yes, and bone deep exhaustion, but no blame. No hatred. And that's too much to accept. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm so sorry."

McCoy looks at him for a long moment. Then, just when Kirk is beginning to wonder if he was mistaken McCoy reaches out to place his hands on Kirk's shoulders. "None of this was your fault," he repeats. "Don't you dare go blaming yourself for what that madman did."

Kirk's throat tightens. "Bones-"

"I mean it, Jim," McCoy interrupts. "He's done enough damage today. Don't...don't let him do any more."

Kirk takes a deep breath, then another, and then opens his eyes. McCoy's clouded eyes meet his, and he feels another rush of guilt. He isn't the one who needs help right now. "Okay." He shuffles forwards and wraps an arm around his friend's shoulders. "You gonna be all right?"

McCoy gives a small smile. "Don' worry about me, Jim."

Kirk just looks at him. "You're kidding, right?"

McCoy's smile disappears and he looks away. Kirk sighs, but before he can say anything there's a soft footstep and Spock enters the room. "Mr. Kelvin has been transported to the Enterprise," he says "Mr. Sulu is escorting him to the brig now."

"Thank you, Mr. Spock," says Kirk quietly. He feels McCoy's shoulders slump ever so slightly, but the doctor doesn't reply.

Spock nods, but he doesn't leave. His dark eyes study them, resting a moment longer on McCoy's still shivering body. "He was responsible for your condition."

It isn't a question but Kirk nods anyway. Spock's expression tightens in a way that Kirk has learned signals terrible consequences in store for someone, but to his surprise Spock simply moves to stand by McCoy's shoulder. "He is gone, Doctor," he says, and his voice is so gentle that Kirk stares. "He will not be permitted to harm you again."

McCoy's eyes are very wide as he finally looks at him. "Surprised you don't think my reaction is illogical."

Kirk sees a muscle work in Spock's jaw before the Vulcan replies. "The cause is sufficient." He meets Kirk's eyes, and Kirk knows he'll need to tell him the whole story soon, but not today. Now he's content to let Spock help ease McCoy's distress while he hugs their friend tighter to him and acknowledges the remainder of their silent pact.

This never happens again.

But even as he does, he has to wonder if that's really a promise he can keep.


Yeah, I wasn't kidding about the whump. Any feedback would be appreciated.