Scene Two

Xander is at the bank, smiling...Nancy at this side.

Xander looks at his paycheck happily.

XANDER: Nan, baby, I've worked so hard for this.

NANCY: Nobody deserves loads of money more than you Xander.

a pause.

NANCY: What do you want to do now?

XANDER: Let's go to the Bronze and get drunk! The high school project was conveniently placed over the summer so I don't even have to be at work at all now, I might as well go get smashed and then you and I can make with the sex!

NANCY: But I have only known you for two hours.

XANDER: Are you a vampire?

NANCY: No.

XANDER: Are you a vengeance demon?

NANCY: No.

XANDER: Do you have a soul?

NANCY: Yes.

XANDER: Oh-KAY! We're good here.

NANCY: That's all you need to know? You don't even care to hear the monologue about my dramatic and abusive past? I have a STALKER!!!

XANDER: Is he human?

NANCY: Well, yeah.

XANDER: We'll invite him over for some chicken some time honey.

A loud crash is heard from out side of the bank and a giant worm appears. The worm moves quickly towards Nancy and Xander. Nancy blinks several times and Xander reaches into his pocket.

XANDER: Nancy, I've grown up so much in the past year, I think I am finally ready to accept the challenges of adult life....will you marry me?

NANCY: WHAT?!? You know we're going to die, don't you??

Scene Three

BUFFY: So, let me get this straight, you're ex-boyfriend left you like all the other men in your life. He beat your father figures girlfriend and he has the personality of a bread box? Hmm. He sounds nice.

DIANE: Well, yeah, he left me. It's okay, we weren't really right for each other, he was kind of boring...plus he did all this horrible stuff to me. I mean, there's this other guy-

BUFFY: NO! No other guys. No way missy. You just stick with your soul mate.

DIANE: Well, this other guy writes me poems, and he took them blame for me when I wrecked my parents car. He does so many things for me...and when we're together, everything is so much easier. I have feelings for him, I do, I think I might lo-

BUFFY: Sweetheart. He sounds like a stalker to me. Ignore him and hit him if necessary...he may get so upset that he tries to rape you, just ignore that.

DIANE: OOOOO-kay.

BUFFY: You can go back to class now Diane.

Diane gets up to leave the room, looking rather confused. Enter Principle Robin Wood.

ROBIN WOOD: Good morning Buffy Anne Summers: 21 years of age, vampire slayer, Rupert Giles is your watcher.

A grand piano falls from the sky and nearly hits and kills Mr. WOOD.

ROBIN WOOD: If I were white, that would have killed me.

BUFFY: (giggles) It's funny how we've only just met and I feel like you know so much about me. Plus you're not a vampire.

ROBIN WOOD: Just one second Ms. Summers, I have to pull out my tape recorder.

BUFFY: What's that for?

ROBIN WOOD: I just have some people back home looking out for us.

BUFFY: Us?

ROBIN WOOD: So tell me about Willow Rosenburg's majick addiction...

TBC