Scene Two
Xander is at the bank, smiling...Nancy at this side.
Xander looks at his paycheck happily.
XANDER: Nan, baby, I've worked so hard for this.
NANCY: Nobody deserves loads of money more than you Xander.
a pause.
NANCY: What do you want to do now?
XANDER: Let's go to the Bronze and get drunk! The high school project was conveniently placed over the summer so I don't even have to be at work at all now, I might as well go get smashed and then you and I can make with the sex!
NANCY: But I have only known you for two hours.
XANDER: Are you a vampire?
NANCY: No.
XANDER: Are you a vengeance demon?
NANCY: No.
XANDER: Do you have a soul?
NANCY: Yes.
XANDER: Oh-KAY! We're good here.
NANCY: That's all you need to know? You don't even care to hear the monologue about my dramatic and abusive past? I have a STALKER!!!
XANDER: Is he human?
NANCY: Well, yeah.
XANDER: We'll invite him over for some chicken some time honey.
A loud crash is heard from out side of the bank and a giant worm appears. The worm moves quickly towards Nancy and Xander. Nancy blinks several times and Xander reaches into his pocket.
XANDER: Nancy, I've grown up so much in the past year, I think I am finally ready to accept the challenges of adult life....will you marry me?
NANCY: WHAT?!? You know we're going to die, don't you??
Scene Three
BUFFY: So, let me get this straight, you're ex-boyfriend left you like all the other men in your life. He beat your father figures girlfriend and he has the personality of a bread box? Hmm. He sounds nice.
DIANE: Well, yeah, he left me. It's okay, we weren't really right for each other, he was kind of boring...plus he did all this horrible stuff to me. I mean, there's this other guy-
BUFFY: NO! No other guys. No way missy. You just stick with your soul mate.
DIANE: Well, this other guy writes me poems, and he took them blame for me when I wrecked my parents car. He does so many things for me...and when we're together, everything is so much easier. I have feelings for him, I do, I think I might lo-
BUFFY: Sweetheart. He sounds like a stalker to me. Ignore him and hit him if necessary...he may get so upset that he tries to rape you, just ignore that.
DIANE: OOOOO-kay.
BUFFY: You can go back to class now Diane.
Diane gets up to leave the room, looking rather confused. Enter Principle Robin Wood.
ROBIN WOOD: Good morning Buffy Anne Summers: 21 years of age, vampire slayer, Rupert Giles is your watcher.
A grand piano falls from the sky and nearly hits and kills Mr. WOOD.
ROBIN WOOD: If I were white, that would have killed me.
BUFFY: (giggles) It's funny how we've only just met and I feel like you know so much about me. Plus you're not a vampire.
ROBIN WOOD: Just one second Ms. Summers, I have to pull out my tape recorder.
BUFFY: What's that for?
ROBIN WOOD: I just have some people back home looking out for us.
BUFFY: Us?
ROBIN WOOD: So tell me about Willow Rosenburg's majick addiction...
TBC
