So the Glee club had been bitter sweet for me. Unfortunately, the auditions had been a bust. I had done amazing, better than even I had expected, but unfortunately it didn't matter. Mr Shue seemed to think that anyone auditions for the club gets in so I'm really not sure what kind of club this was going to be. That was the downside; I really did think that maybe this club could go somewhere, but now I wasn't so sure.
The upside was Mr Shue though, this had defiantly outweighed the negative. Not only was he seemingly good looking and had a smile that charmed her; but he cared about the club so much. He had shown this at our very first Glee club meeting on the Wednesday of that week. I had forwarded into the Glee room behind the aforementioned gay kid who I now knew as Kurt and sat down in the front row of the seats he had set up. He was at the front leaning against the piano looking through some sheet music but looked up with that charming smile as they walked into the room.
"Well, afternoon Rachel, Kurt," he said and I tried to hide my gush when looking at his smile. I shouldn't be feeling this way about a teacher, this I knew. But I just couldn't help it, he was so gorgeous, even the tone of his voice when he spoke was mesmerising to me.
"Is it just the three of us Sir?" I asked suddenly realising that no one else had followed us in.
"Actually no Rachel, there are another three to come. But it seems they're a little late," he said and just as he spoke three other people entered the room. One was a timid looking Asian girl, who was wheeling a kid in a wheelchair and they were followed by a larger girl who I actually had seen before. She had been in a few of my classes and all I know about her was that she had a little bit of a bad girl attitude. Not in the way that I thought she was going to steal a car or rob a bank; but enough to know she wasn't going to be pushed around. Maybe I would have some competition for solo's; but there were still a few problems.
At this stage the amazingly gorgeous teacher began speaking but my mind was going a million miles a minutes and I didn't really hear him. We only had five members, and I knew from my extensive research that you needed twelve members to qualify for most competitions and we only had five. The second problem was the sheer lack of male leadership in this club. Sure we had Kurt but even he wanted to be treated as more of a girl and aside from him the only other male was the kid in the wheelchair.
I didn't mean that in a derogatory way, in fact I had no problem with someone in a wheelchair; problem was I didn't know his name. It didn't matter though, I knew his type. He was shy, the quiet type and that was not the type of person this club needed as a male lead. I guess though, in my head; no guy was going to compare to the hot teacher standing in front of me; especially while he was just that, right in front of me.
I looked around realising now that he was only about a foot away from me and he was calling my name. The other four Glee clubbers in the room were looking at me and I realised Mr. Shue had probably asked me a question and I was probably supposed to answer.
"I'm sorry sir, what was the question?" I asked trying not to look like an idiot.
"I asked you to pick a number out of the hat," he said holding the hat out in front of him again, waving it around in front of me, " I want to have one on one interviews with the five of you this week as to get to know you better. I want to make this Glee Club like a family because the six of us are going to have to work together to recruit some more members."
I tried not to laugh at his enthusiasm as it was quite touching how much he clearly wanted this club to work. He tilted the hat down to me and I put my hand inside it, pulling out a number. I got number one and I found it difficult to contain my excitement as I turned the number towards him, holding it in both hand and waving it towards him in the cutest way I could muster.
"So it looks like Rachel is going to go first," he said walking back over to the piano, planning the top hat on top of it.
"Well she was the last to pick a number it was the only one left," the larger girl said; there was that attitude I was talking about before.
"Yes thank you for the comment Mercedes," he said silently telling her that that was enough of the comments. Rachel I will talk to you tomorrow afternoon if you could be here after school at say, quarter past three?" he asked me and I nodded. I get to spend an hour alone with him in a room; this was going to be fantastic. I pushed the sensation that this could go horribly wrong out of my head and focussed on the idea that I was going to be able to spend an hour getting to know him better. He dismissed us and I rushed home to try and decide what to wear tomorrow. I know the point of the exercise was for him to get to know me better but I could still try, couldn't i?"
So when I said I was going to find an outfit for the following day; what I should have realised was that it was going to take me three hours to find a perfectly suitable outfit that would tell him that I made no extra effort for him what-so-ever. But now, now I was sitting in the Glee room in a long sleeve maroon top and a green type tartan skirt with long socks and Mary Jane shoes. I loved Mary Jane shoes, I wore them most days, they make me feel like a ballerina all of the time. That was a finny concept to me since when I was actually doing ballet we never wore Mary Janes.
I looked at the clock. School had finished at three o'clock and it was now five past. I really must have rushed here to get here so fast and I wasn't expecting him to be early. I moved from my seat, the same one I had been sitting on yesterday in Glee and sat down at the piano. I had learned how to play the piano early in life and was quite well versed. However at the present moment I chose not to play something intricate because my hands were trembling so much. Instead I ran my hands along the keys softly playing a note or a chord every so often and began humming along to it.
"Hey Rachel," Mr Shue said as he walked intothe room. I immediately moved my hands away from the piano and couldn't help but notice how cute he looked in the sweatervest he was wearing. He put his bag down and shut the door, walking over to the piano, bringing two of the chairs over with him. He gestured for me to take a seat in one chair and he sat down in the other, pulling out a notebook.
"Hi Mr Shue", I said and looked up from his notebook.
"So just have a questions for you so I can really get to know you a lititle better, is that ok?" he asked and again I nodded, "So first off I just want to know what what you are interested in music wise; what do you like to sing?"
"Well ballads are my favorite as well as show tunes. I love to sing solos," I said trying to be as confident as I could. I really wanted to make a good impression on him.
"You seem like a confident person Rachel. That will serve you well in life," he said and I was immediately reminded of how much my classmates actually don't appreciate me.
"Well I'm sure that will come later in life but right now if you aren't in a cherrio's uniform then you get a slushie thrown at you on a daily basis," I said and he kind of looked shocked by my statement. Were the teachers not actually aware of what goes on at this school? Surely they had to have seen a student get hit by one at one stage or another; or at least seen a student in the aftermath.
"I'm sure people appreciate you Rachel; you are really talented. When you sung yesterday in the auditions I was very impressed by your voice. Not only that but your heart; when you sing you put your heart into everything. Not everyone can do that you know?" he said and I was trying so hard not to think about him. I didn't want to see what he was saying as signs that he was taking a special interest in me because my better judgement told me that would only cause me heartache. It didn't work though and against my better judgement, I moved my chair closer to his and attempted to flirt.
"Well thankyou sir however not everyone appreciates my talent and me the way you seem to. In fact; I don't think anyone has ever taken this much time to get to know me," I said, lightly touching his arm. I wasn't sure if I was doing it right; I had never actually flirted before and although I had read magazines and books that told you exactly what to do; this was kind of a unique situation.
We were sitting quite closely now, our chairs were facing each other and I had a mix of emotions but of them leading me to be emotionally on the edge. On the one hand, talking about slushy facials and the fact that my classmates pick on me constantly puts me in a terrible emotional place. At school I act like a confident person; making them think I don't care that they torment me. It isn't real though, none of it is. In reality I am terrified; I am terrified all of the time. I'm scared when I walk around the corner I'll get hit by a slushy or pushed into a wall or get called man-hands. On the other hand, I could feel the tension between us building as I lightly touch his arm when he is surprised by what I say. I think at this stage that my flirting is working because he doesn't seem to be moving away.
Because I think that my flirting is working, I then do something crazy. I lean closer to him, resting my hand on his leg. Not too high, I didn't really want to give away what I was going to do. Any flinch from him might have taken away the confidence that I had suddenly gained. He was still smiling, but he wasn't saying anything. I leaned up and before I lost my nerve, I kissed him. It was a slow, soft kiss and in my head my wall came crashing down. He didn't pull away in fact he kissed back. Our lips swayed together and although it felt like time had stopped; we were only kissing for a few seconds.
My nerve only lasted so long though and the moment I pulled away, I couldn't look at his face. I didn't want to gage his reaction by his body language or the look on his face so I stared at the floor. It would be great if I thought his reaction was going to be good, but the chances of this turning into anything but a disaster were slim to none. I couldn't think of anything I could say or do to make this better so I did the only thing I could do.
I ran. I ran from the room quickly. I knew it was completely cowardly but I had no other options. I heard him call after me but at this point I couldn't stop, I just had to get out of there. I didn't stop running till I reached my car, got in and shut the door; making sure it was locked before I sucked in a deep breath. As the air left my lungs tears began to fall from my eyes, running down my face. How could I have been so stupid? Now not only have I ruined my chances of the Glee Club but now I have alienated the only person who ever cared about me; even if I now believed that it was only a student teacher concern.
I sat in my car blubbering like a mess; it wasn't as if I could drive while I was a mess like this. I tried to compose myself quickly because the longer I sat here, the more chances there were of running into him again in the car park. I was glad the cheerio's were all at practice at this point and the football players were o the field; at least there was no one poking around ready to call me a name for crying.
I know this isn't much of a cliff hanger but it's an update. Can people please review I really love it when I get that email that says someone cares enough to tell me what they think. Even if its telling me you hate it I'm cool with that as long as you tell me why.
Xo de
