CHAPTER 2: COOLIN' IT

Scene: A shadowy alley off the coast of Verona, Italy-Japan. There are produce ads scattered all over the concrete floor. Three broccoli members are chilling, wearing nothing but one ripe piece of broccoli to cover their crotches.

"Mmm," MZD said as he gently chomped on a piece of broccoli with his enamel powerhouses.

"Whatcha doing?" Roku asked in wonder when he saw the terrifying sight that was MZD eating the dead, steamed symbol of their broternal love that no one is sure why anti-vegetarians aren't making a big deal about.

"Say what you want, but don't you think you sound stupid saying that?" MZD oh-so-curiously asked his broccoli broski with the power of his miraculous vocal cords.

Before the samurai could answer, a gunshot sound, with the sound of…I don't know, a gun, went off from another questionable street. Screams muffled like those of my unfortunate neighbors could be heard from a nearby building.

"You guys said it too early," Jack said. "I need to tell my part of the story."

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JACK'S PART OF THE STORY

The subordinate was walking back home after a grocery shopping spree. Jack had bought the entire store's supply of chocolate, nine cartfuls of those crab cakes, and seventeen egg cartons. Why eggs, you ask?

"So let me get this straight," Jack said to MZD on the phone earlier, "You want me to buy seventeen eggs?"

"That's seventeen egg CARTONS," MZD replied. " You see, I like to surround myself with the very beings that got me to where I am today."
"You mean broccoli?"
"Hell yea."
"Sometimes I worry about you," Jack sighed.
"Says the child who can't live a day without hacking up a lung," MZD sneered. The kiddo was then greeted by the other end of the phone hanging up on him immediately.

Anyways, Jack was now walking to the broccoli hut to drop the eggceptionally eggstreme burden that was the seventeen cartons of eggs. Just when he arrived on his block, something happened that could be seen as a bit creepy to anyone outside the meme team. For it was none other than…the banana boys. Well, Nickey, Smile, and Masamune to be exact.

(Keep in mind that like the broccoli boys and their broccoli crotches, the banana boys also had nothing on but…well…banana crotches. Except for Masamune, because his helmet is pretty much a banana.)

"Stop right there young man," Masamune said, pulling out a gun. "That's quite a lot of eggs you have there. And I'm afraid that overcrowding living creatures in a small living space is against the law, child."
"Oh stop worrying so much Masamune~!" Smile said. " Yuli owns much more than seventeen lovely bats in his castle and so far he hasn't been put on trial."
"Um, may I ask how many bats, to be exact?" Jack said.
"Too many," Nickey replied, as he was picking up some rocks near the curb that looked like dongs and placing it in his rock collection bag.
"Well, I don't care what you guys think," Masamune shouted. "I, the great Banana-Warrior of Sendai, will put an end to this right now! Eat my guns, you insolent child!"
"Not if I have anything to do with it!" Jack sent out his two iron-fist things that appear in his FEVER! animation.
"Oh geez," Smile sighed, throwing potions of who-knows-what into the fray.
"Ayyyy lmao," Nickey said, still picking up rocks.
And before you could say Hip Rock 4,622, the seventeen cartons of eggs were erased of their existence by the powers of gun, gun, and more gun….powder.

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"What in tarnation is going on here?" MZD was outside the alley, wanting to see what all of the ruckus was about. He told Roku to keep watch of the door to the broccoli hideout entrance, so he missed out on all the action, I guess. When the god saw his broccoli brethren splattered on the pavement, he let out a ghastly scream. "My…my..cHILDREN!"
Masamune, Jack, and Smile all stopped fighting with their weapons, and stood there for a moment. Then they all packed their bags and high-tailed it out of there, afraid of whatever consequence MZD would not give because of his ever crippling trait of crippling apathy that all of the broccoli members shared.

"MZD…I'm sorry dude," Jack was looking at his broccoli to avoid eye contact. Probably not the best idea. "It was an accident…how about I make it up to you by taking you out to dinner?"
"Dude, no homo…" MZD said. "Remember? We live in Italy-Japan. The mass producer of all things supporting heteronormativity. We can't do anything that….bonds our relationship…..which we don't have."
"But…this is bromo." Jack said. At that moment, Jack ripped off his face, now a face mask, revealing the real identity of this mysterious homo- I mean hetero sapien- Wilhlem.

"WhaT THE HECK?" MZD said. "If you wanted to keep Jack so badly, why didn't you just say so? I'll go get him-"
"I didn't," Wilhelm replied. "I was paid by Jack to do this errand. The truth is, he's at the hideout with Roku, blogging about cauliflower at this very moment."
MZD stood there, giving Wilhelm the why-would-you-do-that-what-a-digital-dummy look.
"B-but can Jack be back home by twelve? We need him for—"
MZD shut the door, and made a rude gesture at Wilhelm through the window, but if you ask me, he looked kind of dumb with his finger and his thumb in the shape of an L on his forehead.