A/N
This is NOT the original manuscript. (matches 'Remastering') I unfortunately only started backing up original chapters after chapter 3. So, if you liked the old one better – sorry. It's gone forever. This one's better anyway.
Same old group.
Same old story.
Kami, why did this have to be so hard?
The aqua-haired girl automatically plastered a smile on, as she made it to the top of Rei's endlessly-painful stairs.
"Hey, Ami-chan!" Usagi gushed as her friend arrived. Damn. She was hoping to just slip in. "Rei's not here yet, and even though she always says to just come in, we're waiting out here and celebrate that we don't have to study... yet! Don't be mad!"
Ami just nodded wordlessly.
Well, maybe this won't be so hard after all. But where was her Rei?
Mina quickly engaged Usagi in the oh-so-latest gossip which usually filled the girls' entire 'study' meetings.
Maybe the meeting will be cancelled if Rei doesn't show…
As much as she would love to see Rei, the whole daily act of things was getting exhausting. Her wish was ill-fated though, since the miko herself came bounding up the steps as if on cue. She jumped the last step, rushed a breathless apology and proceeded to lead everyone inside.
"SorryI'mlateImissedmybus. Grandah'snotheretoday,justgointhelivingroom.
Whydidn'tyouguysgoinwithoutme,Ialwayssaidtogoahead ifI'mnothere."
After her hurried display of welcoming, she stopped shortly next to the door, her hands on knees. The girls straggled inside visibly disappointed as Rei waved them to go in. Ami, always the lagger, walked in last. To her surprise, Rei straightened immediately as she walked past, clapping a rough hand on her shoulder. Ami tried hard not to wince, but she couldn't help jumping at the sudden contact.
"Hey, Ames! How's it going!?" The blunette stared at her wide-eyed, trying to ignore the hot pain that seared through her shoulder.
"Uhh…Fine." She flashed a quick smile, ducked her head and walked out of reach towards her usual spot in the study-circle.
The others had already settled themselves and continued their lofty conversations. Rei left to get refreshments, while Ami opened her text and went to work silently. She could feel the wary eyes of the others on her, but she did her best to ignore them. Despite her best efforts, the long days were taking a toll on her. She was missing meetings, her tutoring sessions of the others had virtually come to an end, and her nerves were constantly bared.
As discrete as the others were, probably waiting for her to come forward with whatever was going on with her-... they weren't. It was the little things that gave them away. Instead of mutterings of Mina's loveless love-life or plotting to make Makoto spend the night at someone else's rather her lonely apartment; she knew, it was Ami everyone whispered about as soon as she left the room.
Minako, meanwhile, went on about her newest obsession.
"He's such a hottie! And he's funny! And, oh, soooooo athletic! You should have seen that bicycle kick - and those abs, when his shirt rode up..!" Her voice broke into a hapless squeal. "Buuuut… I've tried everything. I've hinted, and clued… Once, I even stumbled on purpose to fall into his arms!" She sighed. "He just put me back on my feet, told me to be more careful and walked away! He has to be taken already.I mean, he talks to me. He smiles at me. He winks at me! But then I throw myself at him, and he just walks away. Just like that - can you believe it?! He's sooo cute, and nice. Probably the nicest guy I've met in -ever. But-.. But… still… I just, I just wished he would justlook at me."
Ami's scribblings paused, her head dropped and an unsteady breath escaped her lips.
"You should move on. He doesn't see you."
"Uh, what?"
Minako blinked, tilting her head in confusion.
The rest of the room slowly turned their attention to the usually shy genius before them. But she had her eyes settled intently on the blonde across from her, her pen dancing lightly between fingers. "Well, you could keep trying. But doesn't that seem like a waste of time? I mean, how long are you going to keep chasing after someone that doesn't see you? How many times is too many-..How long until you can't stand that one person you want the most to remain out of your reach? Out of your league?" Minako raised an eyebrow, but Ami kept ranting. "How long will you keep pretending they don't see you before you get it; they just don't want you? How many times are you going to laugh along with them, when they actually see right through you? How often can you stand looking into their eyes and see that there is nothing for you there? The sooner you admit the truth, the better. Anyway, you're the Love Goddess, you'll find someone new. You're pretty. Outgoing. Desirable. Wanted.
...But we're not so lucky."
The blunette paused. Her gaze scanning the room before her glittering eyes settled on Usagi, the pen in her hands pointed at the girl.
"We're not as lucky as Usagi-chan and her destined love. We have to have to work for it. We have to earn it."
Her eyes fell, flashing back to Minako who watched her with a certain stillness.
"And even if we do find someone... There are ten people in this world that will live as long as us. And half of them are in this room. So even if we prevail for the benefit of an never-ending eternity and actually find someone out there-... Even if we outsmart the system; triumph in this morbid game of love..."
As if suddenly realizing the room was watching her with apt attention, Ami dropped her head, shrinking into her seat as her voice started to fade. Suddenly she was small, quiet and shy Ami again; picking at the sleeve of her shirt as the flames of boldness that had possessed her died away as quickly as they had flared up.
"...We will lose."
Though merely a whisper, her last words echoed, screaming off the walls. The others sat around her in stunned silence. They waited.. for something, anything to happen;but nothing did. Ami slowly dropped her gaze back down, but her pen only hovered insecurely above the paper.
Usagi finally broke the silence.
"Hey, Ami?" Worry hung heavy in her voice, making Ami cringe. "You…You know if there's anything you need to talk about…" Usagi placed a gentle hand on Ami's."…we're here."
Ami's eyes trailed reluctantly along the table, landing on Usa's hand. She stared blankly at the display of affection. Somehow, it made everything worse. This was human warmth, and therefore warmth that she couldn't trust.
Ami pulled her hand away, wiping a quiet tear that slid down her cheek.
Usagi's hand stayed where Ami had left it, cold and empty. There was more silence; the others finding answer in Ami's lack ofreply. A clink cut through the heavy air.
...
Rei stood stock-still, her chest heaving. One of the cups balanced precariously on its side from her sudden flinch. In reflex, she caught the cup and put it back into place with a slightly dizzy over the desperate words she had just overheard, she leaned her weight against the wall as memories washed over her.
A/N: So after a LOT of persuasion, I've been convinced to take another look at this story. Thanks to TheKueken for going over it with me. With her help, it should be something that I'm proud of once we're finished reviewing it.
