I figured I might as well add some new chapters, except figuring out how to post them has given me hell! Oh well, I'm new at this. Thanks to everyone who submitted reviews, good or bad, it all helps
I dont own Naruto
Naruto slammed hard against the door of his apartment, sweating and panting hard. He fumbled with the keys in his pocket for a moment, before jamming them in the doorknob and turning furiously. Anyone walking by would have thought he was running from something, and in a way, he would have been right. Naruto didnt know why he had ran the entire way back to his place, Sasuke definately wasnt chasing him.
Sasuke, what the hell was that bastard on? Kissing him like that? Pushing the disturbing thought from his mind, Naruto pushed the door too hard, and went flayng across his living room, tripped over a rug, and face-planted on the hard floor.
"Fuck!" Naruto staggered to his feet, limped across the room, and slammed the door as hard as he could. "FUCK!" collapsing on the couch, he burried his head in his hands. Tears of frustration welled up in his eyes. "No, no, no, NO! Dont cry stupid!" pinching his arm to punish himself for being so pathetic to allow tears to form, he repeated his mantra over and over in his head. Tears are weak. Tears are weak. Then out of nowhere, a different thought burst into his head: Sasuke doesnt cry.
Naruto eyes shot open and his head jerked up. Had that reaqlly happened? The kiss? No, it couldnt have. Sasuke was straight, right? He had dated Tenten at one point, and besides... Naruto was a demon. It had been drilled into his head long ago that he was evil, that he was a demon, and nobody would, or even could, love a demon
Flashback
Naruto was four years old, and it was his first day of pre-school. Iruka, who had signed him up, thought it would be nice for him. Naruto was so excited because he would finally have some other kids to play with, without all the adults around to drag their children away from him, muttering about devils and screaming that he should be dead.
The smiling, happy little blonde boy bounded into the room, his eyes shining brightly at the thought of all the fun things he would get to do today. Clutching his lunchbox, he wandered over to where the teacher was standing with her back turned.
"Excuse me ma'am," Naruto chirped, "Where should I put my lunch?"
The teacher turned around. "Oh my GOD!" her hands flew up to her mouth, but not quickly enough for little Naruto to miss her expression of horror and disgust.
"Whats wrong, Miss?" the little boy asked timidly. Before he knew it, he was being dragged into the back room, a large, claw-like hand firmly clamped onto his chubby little arm.
"Missus, you're hurting me!" Naruto cried out in pain. "Shut up, you stupid kid!" She screeched, slamming the door behind her, her long fingernails digging into his skin. Kneeling to his level, she whipped him around to face her. "Listen to me, you little monster, I dont know who put you in this class, and I dont care. All I know is that I wont let you and your filthy ways corrupt any of these good, innocent children!!" pausing to take a rasy breath, she seized the front of his shirt, looked at his hurt, confused face, and continued, "You dont know why people dont want you around their children? Its because you are evil! A pure evil monster and you deserve to be dead!" Obviously satisfied, she released her grip on his shirt, stood up, brushed the dust from her skirt, and smirked down at the little boy crying on the floor. "I want you to get out, and never come back. EVER! Is that clear?"
Naruto was sobbing on the cold tiled floor. "Why m-m-iss? W-hy do you ha-t-te me? Wh- what-at did I-I do?" he couldnt understand her fury. He had never met this woman before, and he would never dream of hurting her, or anyone! Naruto couldnt even handle hurting a furry caterpillar!
"You were born, thats what. You were born a dangerous monster." A cruel smile crossed her thin lips. "Didnt they tell you? Didnt they tell you how you murdered all those people? Didnt they tell you how you robbed little babies from their mothers arms and killed them? Didnt they tell you-" her voice grew dangerously low "Didnt they tell you, that you are a demon? Nobody loves a demon now, do they?" Naruto's teary blue eyes flew open, trying to grasp what this woman was saying. Was he that bad? A true devil? He had killed children?
"I'm so sorry!" he sobbed, throwing his little arms around the teachers spindly legs. "I'm sorry, I didnt know! Please forgive me!" he was crying harder than he ever had before. He didnt know how he had done all these things, but if she said so, it must be true. Now it made sense why all the people in the village hated him!
"Too late." the woman snapped bitterly. "Now shut up and get out! And never come back here." she added stepped out of the room, slamming the door as hard as she could, leaving the little boy all alone in the empty room.
Naruto lay there for what seemed like an eternity, but was really five minutes, before slowly sitting up, drying his tears, picking up his blue plastic lunchbox, and shuffling out of the room. On his way to the door, a little girl with white eyes asked him to come and play, and for a moment he considered it, but then caught the teachers nasty stare and continued on his way out.
End flashback
Naruto felt fresh tears prick his eyes at that memory. Bile stung the back of his throat. "Oh god!" he jumped up and raced to the bathroom, but he couldnt make it and threw up all over the hallway. "Oh no..." he made an attempt to head into the kitchen for some paper towels, but almost at once he collapsed on his knees, retching, his stomach purging itself of everything in it. "Not again." he sobbed out. Naruto felt so pathetic and disgusting right now. He was a crying, weak, loveless demon covered in his own vomit. "All the memories... all those horrible, horrible memories!" all the times he had ran to Iruka crying, all the times those villagers had hurt him, either with their words or with their fists, Sakura rejecting him time and time again, Sasuke taunting him, Sasuke leaving him, Sasuke trying to kill him, and finally... Sasuke kissing him.
Naruto couldnt get his mind right. All he could think of was his childhood hurt, and that damn kiss. Stripping off his now bile covered pants and shirt, got some cleaning supplies from the kitchen, and scrubbed the floor clean. Sighing, he plodded into the bathroom, tuned on the shower, peeled off his boxers and stepped in. "Christ, its freezing!" He had been having some trouble paying the bills lately, and so his heat had been shut off until he could afford to pay the bill. Ice water flowed freely over him, cleaning his skin and clearing his head of all but one thought. Sasuke kissing him replayed in his head over and over, and poor Naruto wasnt sure what to make of it. It couldnt be that Sasuke actually gave a fuck about him, no that was out of the question. He refused to let himself think about that and instead focused on other possible explanations. Sasuke hated him? Definately, but why would he kiss Naruto to show he hated him? Maybe Sasuke just wasnt right in the head, yes, that had to be it. Living with Orochimaru for years must have messed with his mind. Poor Sasuke, he thought. Or maybe its me. Maybe I'm the crazy one! Theres no way in hell Sasuke would ever kiss me... am I just imagining it all? Am I that starved for love that I would make it up? Naruto looked down at hs forearms, jagged scars flashing in his retinas. The one from this morning was still red and swollen, stinging as the water hit it. No, I'm still here. Too bad... it would have been nice to not have to deal with any more of these people. But the kiss... I cant deny I liked it... but that isnt possible! I mean, I love Sakura, not that self-rightous bastard!
"A-ah!" Naruto felt his legs start to go numb. Quickly turning off the water, he got out of the shower and came face to face with his naked reflection in the mirror. He studied himself for a moment. Sloppy, messy, blond hair. Tanned skin. Puffy, tear-streaked face and dull blue eyes. He stiffened for a moment, then-
"FUCK YOU!" slamming his fist against the mirror, screaming it to himself, to all of Konoha, and especially to Sasuke. He watched with satisfaction as it shattered into a million little shards, cutting up his hand. He didnt care. The pain punished him, cursed him, soothed him. As the pain shot through his arm, relief washed through his body and troubled mind. Quickly grabbing two towels, he dried himself off with one and used the other as a bandage. Feeling peaceful, he dressed himself, put on his usual mask of a smile, slipped on fingerless gloves to hide the wound, and headed outside to face the rest of the day
Okay, what did you think? Good? Bad? Absolute crap? Let me know!
