|| And here we have Chapter 2 of Swappable Stoppable, AKA "the part where everything goes to hell". ||


Chapter 2

Spyro grumbled, trying to stand. "Gfuyfweiwgf... what happened? I feel different... lighter... where are my wings?" He rubbed his head, then realized that something was wrong. Very, very wrong. "Why do I have hai- AAAAAARRGHH!" He legitimately began freaking out. "I'M FREAKING STEALTH ELF!"

He tried to stand up on two feet. "Alright, okay, I've got this, wait, nope, I'm falling." He roared. (What is going on?!) He got on his hands and knees, attempting to compromise with his... Stealth's... body. He looked over to see his own body, lying motionless on the ground. "Okay, so I'm- and that's- alright, I've got it now. STEALTH WAKE UP!" He began poking her repeatedly.

Stealth stirred, and unlike Spyro, immediately noticed that something was wrong. "What's going on?" she questioned. "This is a highly abnormal feeling..."

"That's cuz you're me!" Spyro cried. "What is this I don't even—" He fell over again. "-ow."

Stealth stood up, stretched her wings and wagged her tail. "Interesting."

"Interesting? INTERESTING?!" Spyro had a rage fit. "That's all you have to %#$ &ing say?!" He ran around, stumbling, hurting himself, roaring.

"Please don't do that in my body," Stealth requested. She scratched her head. "Hm, the force of the impact must have caused us to trade memories."

"Huh?"

She sighed. "For the lesser minded..."

"Hey!"

"...we switched bodies."

Spyro hit his head against a tree, the fell over again. "This can not be happening," he sighed.

Stealth was poking her own stomach. "What have you been eating?"

"Shut. Up."

Suddenly, a brilliant, brilliant idea came to Stealth. "Hey Spyro, your mentor is Trap Shadow, right?"

"Yeah," Spyro replied in exasperation. "I thought we established that this morning." There was no response. "Stealth?" He stood up, to see Stealth in his body dashing towards the Woodburrow gate. "Later loser!"

"H-H-H-H-HEY!" Spyro followed her back to Woodburrow. But after falling flat on his face a couple times, he lost track of her. "Dammit Stealth, I want my body back!" He tried looking around, but he got cut short when somebody tripped him. "Grfwifgbwu..."

"Funny, usually she saves herself." That was Zoo Lou.

"Come on, Stealth Elf." That one was Camo. "We all know that you don't want to go, but being this late for class is inexcusable."

Zoo Lou tossed Spyro over his shoulder. "Yeah, come on! Stink Bomb isn't gonna wait forever!"

"Hey!" Spyro cried. "Put me down! I'm not Stealth Elf! I'm Spyro!"

Camo snickered. "Yeah, and I'm Mesmerelda." Zoo Lou burst out laughing. "Seriously, Stealth, that's the lamest excuse you've ever come up with."

"But it's true!"

"There you guys are! Hey Stink Bomb, they found Stealth!" That seemingly familiar voice was Bumble Blast.

"Oh, good!" Stink Bomb said. "You can put her down now, Zoo Lou.

"Alright..."

Lou set Spyro down, and he tried to get his balance. "Okay, I've got it, I've got it... aaaaaaand I just fell. On. My. Face."

Bumble and Lou helped him up. "Are you okay, Stealth Elf?" Stink Bomb asked. "You seem uncoordinated." He scratched his head. "...Which is very strange for you."

"Ya ya," Spyro sighed. "I'm good." (Let's see if there's a reason that Stealth is so complainy.)

"Okay then," Stink Bomb shot a smile. "So, if everybody's good, let's get started! Hai?"

"Hai, sensei!" the boys exclaimed.

Spyro blinked. "I thought ninjitsu was Japanese. Wait, 'hai' is Japanese, but 'sensei' is Chi- what is this madness?!"

Stink Bomb cracked his knuckles. "Today's lesson is endurance, which is something that many people lack. So, we're doing the obstacle course!"

The boys groaned. "Again?!" Zoo Lou complained.

"I've come to expect it," Camo added.

"Stealth Elf!" Stink Bomb ordered. "Think you're up to it?"

Spyro flinched. "Oh, that's me!" he exclaimed. "Um... sure?"

"Great!" Stink Bomb directed him to the start of the course. "That's what I like to see from you, Stealth; spirit even when you're feeling down!" He pushed Spyro, and the dragon... er, elf... found himself face-to-face with spinning blades, spike walls, Greeble punching bags bearing real daggers and about a trillion booby traps.

Spyro swallowed hard. "This wouldn't be so hard if I were in my own body..." He took a deep breath, then rushed forward. One of the blades nearly sliced his hair off. "Wah! Talk about close shaves!" He leaped up and just barely landed it. Unfortunately for him, he landed on a button that set off a wall of arrows. "Agh!" He tripped at the perfect moment, avoiding them, but he found that he was faced with the wrong end of a Greeble punchy. He whipped out Stealth's Dragonfang daggers and sliced it in half.

Suddenly feeling very full of himself and light on his feet, Spyro began jumping and flipping around like a show off. Every booby trap missed, every spinning blade leaped over and every Greeble sliced in half. "Aw, what does she say? What does she say? Oh yeah!" He landed on his feet and pumped a fist in the air as everything behind him fell apart. "Silent but Deadly!" He blinked, then began laughing hysterically. "Oh my gosh, how did I not notice that before?! Woo, no wonder Master Eon signed her up with Stink Bomb! Ha ha ha ha!"

Stealth's classmates watched in confusion. "Is she making fun of herself?" Zoo Lou inquired.

"This is... odd behavior for Stealth Elf..." Camo said.

Stealth watched from a distance. "What an embarrassment," she growled. "I'll probably never be able to show my face again."

"Hey Spyro!"

"Eh?" Stealth turned to see Whirlwind approaching.

"Hey, are you watching Stealth's class? That's ironic, since she was watching yours like a hawk earlier." She blinked. "Hey, are you feeling alright? Your eyes look funny."

Stealth blinked, then glanced at her reflection in the enchanted pool. (My eyes... that could be a problem.) "It's nothing, Whirlwind," she responded. "I'm fine."

Whirl tipped her head. "Are you sure?" she asked, a worried tone flooding her voice. "Your voice... you're talking really soft, Spyro."

Stealth sighed. "Whirlwind, there's something I have to tell you."

"Anything, Spyro!"

Stealth looked around, then whispered it into Whirl's ear.

"What?" Whirl sounded very surprised, but then she giggled. "Come on, Spyro. What the heck are you trying to pull?"

Stealth sighed and directed Whirl's vision to where Spyro, in her body, was still poking fun at her catchphrase. "That's Spyro."

Whirl blinked. "Alright, I'm convinced. Stealth Elf would never do something like that." Stealth nodded. "But, just one question, how did this happen?"

"It's a long story," Stealth replied. "But I'm hoping to keep it up until Trap Shadow's class tomorrow."

Whirlwind tipped her head. "Oh, but your mentor is Stink Bomb!"

"I know that!" Stealth replied. "But I'd like to at least train with Trap Shadow for one class. Like I said before, Stink Bomb can't teach me anything."

"Well Sunburn said he could teach you how to throw a shuriken..."

"I don't need to know how to throw a shuriken!" Stealth exclaimed. "I just need to avoid Spyro until tomorrow. Think I can pull it off?"

"Definitely!" Whirlwind told her. "And ya know what, I'll help you out! I'll keep Spyro off your back. I wish I could say the same for Sunburn, though. But, eh, are you sure you'll be alright?"

"Didn't we already establish this?"

"No, I meant as a male dragon."

Stealth blinked.


|| Oh my god. Ugh. Spyro has Sunburn's personality in this story. And Stealth Elf is intelligent. One of Stealth Elf's most defining characteristics in this series in every story after this one is that she's unintelligent. And I actually censored that curse word even though the story was rated T. This story is garbage.

It is pretty hilarious, though. Just not in the way I intended. ||