Summary: The Boogeyman is not someone to be trifled with. But when a blonde imaginary friend happens to fall into his Nightmare Realm, and disturbs the natural order of terror and death, he has to take matters into his own hands. Especially when that imaginary friend is messing with his next meal. AU, SasuNaru, and other couples

Disclaimer: Naruto and Company do not belong to me. Sadly. D:

Rating: R eventually for gruesome violence, abuse, sexual-ness and other adult like things

Warnings: This is eventually going to be a yaoi story. Means boyxboy. Yeah. Don't like it, then don't read it.

Pairings: SasuNaru (duuuurrr) and some others that I don't feel like naming

Note: Now we get into it and get to learn some fun things about IFs and Ns. :D

IF -Imaginary friend

N-Nightmare


Chapter One- How To Be An Imaginary Friend


"Now, I want you all to pay very close attention. This lesson may seem simple, but it is key in your role as an imaginary friend." A pair of chocolate brown eyes rolled over the group of trainee imaginary friends, who immediately quieted, their curious eyes locked on their 'teacher', "First off, who can tell me what an imaginary friend's worst enemy is?" A few hands rose, and the tanned teacher picked on a girl with long blonde hair tied up in a large ponytail, and mint colored eyes.

"A nightmare is, Iruka!" She chirped with a smug smile, then stuck out her tongue triumphantly at her rival, a girl with shocking pink hair and green eyes, who had also been trying to answer the question. The man smiled brightly, nodding his head so his short, brown ponytail bounced slightly.

"Very good Ino! And what do nightmares want?" This time his eyes fell on a sleeping boy, who also wore his dark hair in a pony tail, "Care to enlighten us Shikamaru?" The lazy boy lifted his head from his pillow (his arms), and blinked at his 'teacher' while stifling a yawn.

"So troublesome.. A nightmare is after the human children we watch and care for." He grumbled, before lowering his head back onto his make shift pillow. Once again, Iruka beamed, and nodded.

"Now, who knows how we keep a nightmare from getting out human child?" This time, no hands went up, and a soft murmur flowed through the full classroom. That was, until an imaginary friend with sunny blonde hair shot his hand into the air and shouted,

"We kick their asses and made sure that they never see or touch another human kid again! 'Cause we won't let a stupid Boogeyman eat our kids, no way!" The class let out a collective gasp as the blonde mentioned… him. Even Iruka swallowed hard, his eyes darting about nervously as he tugged on his shirt collar.

"Naruto… Please… I am very glad to see you want to defend our children, but do not mention his name… Remember that is not allowed in school." The blue eyed boy muttered something under his breath, but nodded sulkily. Stupid rules. It wasn't like old Booger brain could hear him say it anyways.

"Well he probably feels he can say it without being hurt, considering he's got a nightmare in him." A kid whispered loud enough for Naruto to hear, and his friend snickered loudly. The blonde scowled at them in turn, though a soft blush crossed his face, and he held his stomach protectively.

"In any case Naruto, you're right. We do have to keep them away from our kids, but since we deal in defense, not offense, there will be no… 'ass kicking' involved… But don't worry, even if we can't fight back, we can keep out most important treasure safe. So today we're going to learn how to make clones of ourselves to distract the nightmare so our kid can get away." Iruka let the warm smile slide back into place, before turning around to write the instructions down on the chalkboard.

Naruto sighed heavily, staring at the words with disgust, and wondering if nightmares had to learn such pointless things as well. He bet that they got to learn how to do cool and useful fighting techniques, instead of… stupid, boring, and worthless defensive tactics. Wouldn't it be better to kill a nightmare, not lead it away? Then it couldn't come back and hurt another child, right? Sometimes the blonde thought that imaginary friends weren't as smart as they were made out to be.


Black eyes watched curiously as small children raced around, laughing and giggling at the playground. Some climbed on the bars, while others slid gleefully down the slides, and some merely chased one another in a rule less game of tag.

But none went over to the swings, where a small, pale, raven haired boy sat, clinging to the chains of one swing as he stared at the other children, mystified. They didn't like him, this he knew. AS to why, he could not fathom, but at least he wasn't talking to people that weren't even there. Yes, that's right, some of the kids were speaking to a random spot, chattering aimlessly to a pole, or bush. Apparently they saw something, or someone, there beside them.

Yet Sasuke, for the life of him, couldn't see what it was that these kids were seeing, no matter how hard he squinted at them. The six year old was stumped (even though he was quite smart; his teachers knew he was going to become a genius), and that aggravated him to no end. Especially since he himself wanted someone to talk to…

He was always so… alone..


Naruto lay on his 'bed' in his dorm, staring blankly up at the ceiling. And to think, he still had twenty years of training to go before he could get his first kid. The blonde sighed, rolling onto his side now, to stare at the wall. He was basically lying on the floor, on a cushioned mat with blankets. There were no 'beds' in the Imaginary Friends University, or in fact, in the whole realm. If there were beds, that would leave a portal for him and his nightmares to get through.

For that reason as well, the imaginary friends had no closets.

Personally, Naruto thought the whole 'Boogeyman under the bed and in the closet' was a myth, seeing as they had no real proof on the matter. Then again, most child disappearances took place in the bedroom, and for that reason all imaginary friends feared them. That fear had been growing over the past few years, when imaginary friends began to disappear, and their last known whereabout was their assigned child's room.

Seeing as Naruto was basically a new born in the world of imaginary friends (despite the fact that physically he looked twelve), he had a lot to learn before he was ready for the responsibility of a child. All imaginary friends were required to go through twenty-one years of training before they got their first charge. Naruto was in his first year of training, and so far they ad only learned about the history of imaginary friends and nightmares.

By the time he left Imaginary Friend University, he'd have the physical appearance of a fifteen year old, since imaginary friends aged slowly. And, by the time they reached the physical appearance of a thirty year old, their bodies stopped aging and they remained that way until death. The average imaginary friend could live to be about one thousand years old, and could go through millions of kids. But they always remembered each and every one, even the first.

Especially the first.

Naruto wondered if twenty-one years would go by fast. At this rate, his answer seemed like a depressing 'no.' One day in itself seemed to take forever to get through. He groaned softly, burying his face into his pillow, and closing his eyes. Vaguely, as he drifted off to sleep, he wondered what it would be like to have a bad dream, instead of all the pleasant ones he was used to.

An imaginary friend never had a nightmare.


Author's Note: Well thats just my view on imaginary friends.. I know people might have different thoughts, like that kids make them up and stuff, but I like to think that they come to you, not the other way around. :D And nightmares are people as well, AND bad dreams. Two things that are named the same, but have different meanings in this story.

...There is a reason why it takes twenty-one years to become an official imaginary friend, I did not just pull that number out of my butt. CX