A/N: Welcome to the second chapter. A shout out to my girl, amillionyears! You. Are. THE AWESOMENESSS! Umm, to that one anonymous reviewer who asked why Sebastian and Blaine were the main characters and why it's not Seblaine? First of all, I don't like Seblaine. Second, just because two characters are the main characters in the story doesn't mean they're gonna be paired together. Not every story on is romance ya know? And third, in Sweeney Tood, Sweeeney and Lovett are the main characters. Blaine is playing Sweeney Todd, and Sebastian is Mrs. Lovett. I hope I cleared it up for you. To that reviewer named Emmy. (Hope I got it right) I'd so go in that direction, if it weren't for the fact that I haven't seen any of the original play, so I wouldn't be comfortable just randomly trying to write it down like that. Way too complicated. Avert your eyes! Sebastian is coming!

Italics is Sebastian (Mrs. Lovett) singing.

Chapter 2: The Worst Pies In London

Blaine walked into the shop named "Mr. Smythe's Pie Shop" and stared at the man behind the counter. His first impression of Mister Sebastian Smythe was that he could not possibly be human. He looked way too sinister, and when he looked up at him and smiled, he only grew a little bit more terrifying in Blaine's eyes.

Sebastian looked up as a tall man with hazel eyes and slick, black hair entered the shop. Instantly, he knew that he wanted this man, and Sebastian usually always got what he wanted. He hitched on a smile and gasped, "A costumer!"

Blaine turned, about to just clear out right then, when suddenly,

Wait!
What's your rush? What's your hurry?
You gave me such a -
Fright, I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute, can'tcher sit!
Sit you down, sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks!
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague -
Ugh! What is that?
But you think we had the plague!
From the way that people
Keep avoiding -
No you don't!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
Ick!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can't hardly blame them!
These are probably the worst pies in London!
I know why nobody cares to take them,
I should know,
I make them,
But good? No!
The worst pies in London,
Even that's polite!
The worst pies in London,
If you doubt it, take a bite!
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it!
It's nothing but crusting!
Here, drink this, you'll need it!
The worst pies in London...
And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
Never
Thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat
Findin' poor
Animals
Wot are dyin' in the street!
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop!
Does a business but I notice something weird.
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared!
Have to hand it to her -
Wot I calls
Enterprise
Poppin' pussies into pies!
Wouldn't do in my shop!
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!
And I'm tellin' you, them pussycats is quick!
No denying times is hard, sir
Even harder than the worst pies in London!
Only lard and nothing more -
Is that just revolting,
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it's molting,
And tastes like,
Well, pity
An old man alone,
With limited wind,
And the worst pies in London!
Ah, sir, times is hard,
Times is hard!