Will Always Stay
Derek happened to walk up to Penelope and JJ at work. When he saw Penelope, across the bull pen, he naturally smiled. Even though he was hurt and confused by her recent actions he still was thrilled to see her, thrilled she was healthy again after being shot and thrilled he could walk over to her and look in her beautiful eyes.
But before he made it to them he heard JJ ask "So how did that date go with Lynch?"
Penelope answered "I think meeting him proves fate is real. Before I thought it was but now I know."
Derek tensed. How could she believe her fate was to be with anyone but him? He wasn't the type to cry in public so he just faked a grin but inside his heart had taken another deep wound: the scar would have Baby Girl written all over it.
"Hey there," he nodded at JJ. Touching Penelope's back, he said "Morning, sweetness."
"Hi, Derek," she answered, distractedly, and then walked off.
He watched her go. Once he caught JJ staring at him curiously he jerked his eyes off Penelope and started to make small talk with her, pretending as if he was completely brushing off how cold Penelope had just treated him.
*********
There was a big part of him that didn't want to go say good bye to her when they got a new case. He was so angry at her and disappointed in what they were turning into. He told himself to just blow her off but he couldn't do it.
Who knew how many days it would be before they came home again. And if Penelope getting shot taught Derek anything it was that another day is never guaranteed so this could be the last time he ever got a chance to lay eyes on his baby girl.
He headed into her computer lab. "Hey, we're wheel's up in twenty, baby."
"Texas, right? I've got the preliminaries about the Unsub working through my system as we speak."
"Do your thing, girl," he said, in appreciation of her talent. Standing behind her chair, he placed both hands on her shoulder, bent and lay a feather light kiss on her hairline. "I'll be calling you, sweetheart."
She nodded, tensing up slightly. Derek wondered if maybe, now that she had Lynch, Derek wasn't supposed to kiss her anymore- even though all his kisses were never on her lips. He would hate to lose that part of their bond. He swore that the hits just kept coming.
How much more could he lose in such a short time?
As he thought this he immediately remembered that he hadn't lost her to that bullet so he shouldn't complain. She was alive and that is really what mattered most. Not his pain and not his desire for her.
"Later, baby girl."
"Bye, Derek."
He let out a short breath and headed for the door. He knew he wasn't imagining that she was cutting back on calling him all her cute little pet names. One date with Lynch and Derek's world was all screwed up. If Lynch and Penelope stayed together what the hell would Derek's life turn into?
He had slowly made so much of it about Penelope and he never regretted that, not even now. But it scared him. Because her rejection meant his world was in shambles.
**********
On the plane JJ made a joke. Emily was sitting nearby and laughed. Derek just turned and stared out the window but not before catching a sharp look from Emily.
Surely later on he would hear how his bad mood was bringing everyone's energy down. He wanted to not show how much he was hurting but it was getting harder and harder to smile through it.
His mind got lost in memories of when Battle came to Penelope's apartment. The fear Derek felt in that moment. How much he wanted to save her. How he believed he was protecting a woman who would be his wife one day. How he thought she was right there on his same wavelength.
Now he felt like a moron.
He'd always protect Penelope with his life but now he was wondering if he should have just kept his heart for himself. Not given the whole thing away to her, the only woman he ever loved, when she gave it right back to him like it meant nothing.
*********
Later that day his cell rang. "Morgan."
"I'm sending you a file right now on the third victim. There's a few numbers in her phone records from untraceable cell phones. One of them may be the unsub since we know he likes to taunt his victims beforehand. I've listed the towers the calls hit off."
"Good work....hey, baby girl, you okay?"
"Just fine."
"You sure?"
"Um, I guess I'm just a little tired today. After getting a drink last night Kevin took me to a jazz club."
"Oh yeah? You have a good time?"
"Wonderful. He's actually just my type. We couldn't fit together more perfect if a computer matched us."
The file came through. "I got the phone records. Thanks. Later." This time he was the one who held back any endearment.
His teeth clenched as he thought about her saying Lynch was her type.
**********
Derek lay on the bed in his hotel room very late that night. He wondered if Penelope had another date with Kevin after she got off work today. But he doubted it. They were only breaking for a few hours to get rest.
With his arms folded behind his head, and no shirt on, he stared out the patio doors of his hotel room, into the night sky.
In his head he remembered the first moment he met Penelope.
Back then he never thought they'd end up here. That he would fall in love with her. But he knew right away she was special and gonna be special to him. He just didn't believe in love so he couldn't imagine feeling like he did now.
Deciding he needed to connect with her he grabbed his phone off the night stand, flipped on a light, and sent her a text: Miss you and Clooney, baby girl.
She didn't text back.
Eventually Derek fell asleep but in the time he laid there, his body tired but his mind refusing to turn off, he decided when he went home he had to talk to her. This present sitution was completely unacceptable.
There was no way he was sitting around and watching her date another guy without at least calling her on this bull. She said she loved him. So she needed to tell him why that love wasn't strong enough to be with him...instead of Lynch.
Could Lynch really make her feel a tenth of what Derek did? Derek couldn't believe that was true. What him and his baby girl had was unique.
It made no sense for her to believe her fate was with another man. No sense at all.
