"Alec! I'm riding all over town to find out how to help you and you're at the bar smacking girls' asses!" Max yelled.
"They said it was cute!" Alec said, stomping his 5-year-old foot.
"It's not cute! You're not actually five! Which mean that you're just a perv!"
"Am not!"
"Are too! And kind of a dick!"
Alec was speechless for a long time as he willed himself not to cry. What the hell is happening to me? he thought. But the only thing he could think to do was yell, "You're mean!," kick Max in the shins, and run to the other room before she could see the tears starting.
"Oww!!" yelled Max. "That little brat! I am so going to kick his sorry ass."
"Boo, I like jokes about beating children as much as the next girl, but maybe you want to lay off for now," Original Cindy said to her.
"Easy for you to say, you weren't nailed in the shin by a transgenically enhanced 5-year-old."
"Of course I wasn't. I'm a delightful person."
"Funny, Original Cindy."
"Look, he may have Alec's memories, but that's a kid," Cindy continued, " I spent half the night convincing him not to pout because he was worried that you didn't like him."
"Now, that is just pathetic."
Cindy rolled her eyes. "Yes, the male ego at any age is quite pathetic. I would think you would know that, being a 'ro and all. Speaking of, could Logan find anything on what they did to Alec to make him all toy-sized?"
"Not yet, but he has some leads. He might have something soon, though."
"Well, that's good news. And I can think of a smartass little kid who could use some of that."
Max sighed. "Fine. I'll talk to him."
"Good," Cindy said, "Because I am a damn sexy badass, and it doesn't fit right to play the nice lady who's a good role model. Which means you're up, boo."
Max walked into the bedroom and quickly located the source of the sniffling hidden under the bed.
"Alec?" she said as she peered underneath.
"Go 'way!!"
"Alec? I'm sorry I yelled."
"I don't like you!"
"I know. You didn't always like me when you were big, either."
"Yes, I did,"
Max paused. Then, "You did?"
Alec hesitated, then said, "No. You're gross. And mean."
"Well, you can be mean too sometimes. Like now. It really hurts my feelings that you won't come out from under the bed."
"Good!"
"You know I could drag you out of there, right?" she snapped,
Alec looked at her, and though it was dark under the bed, Max could clearly see his hurt, moist eyes widen in surprise and fear.
Shit, Max thought. That's exactly how Ben looked when we were that age.
"I'm kidding," Max said. "You guys all know not to take it too personally when I start to lose my temper."
Alec answered, "More like, we all know to seek refuge in a nuclear shelter."
Max smiled. "Now that's the smartass I came in here to talk to."
Alec sniffled. "I remember who I am, Max. I'm not a child. I just..."
"You just react like one."
"Bite me, bitch."
"You know I'm not above slapping a kid, right?"
Alec looked frightened again, just for a second and then smiled. "Now who's the smartass?"
Max smiled back and offered her hand out to Alec as he crawled out from under the bed.
"We're going to get you fixed, Alec. Logan's working on it. And I'm working on it. We'll bust a few heads and we'll get you back to your insufferable self."
Alec's small hands clumsily wiped away the moisture on his cheeks and the snot under his nose. "What if you can't?" he asked.
"We will. Promise."
He gave her a big smile, as if that were enough for him. "Okay."
Max felt the sudden urge to pick him up and carry him to the other room, but she wasn't sure that Alec's dignity could take that kind of blow. So she gestured toward the kitchen with a nod and a mention of cookies and watched him excitedly skip alongside her.
Damn, is Alec cute like this, Max said to herself, and then, realizing her own train of thought, Don't ever think that again Max. Seriously, just stick something sharp in your eye instead. But then she saw Original Cindy give him a little kiss on the forehead as she wiped his mouth with a napkin, and decided that maybe it was nothing to be ashamed of. And besides, at least when he's small, I always have the option of locking him in the pantry when he talks too much.
To be continued?
