Ok, so here's chapter two!~ Wow, I'm surprised I finally got off of my lazy ass and updated... Well, anyways, I think that I have the majority of the next few chapters planned out, all I have to do is write 'em!

Molly, Jessica, William/Squeers, Charlie belong to me

Everyone else... aw crap, I still can't remember his name! GAH!


Chapter 2: Noon Nonsense

Molly yawned widely, smiling to herself as she stretched her long arms above her head, finally fully rested. Her head turned to look at the alarm clock once again. '11:42 am'. Wide awake now, she smiled and jumped out of bed. She turned around to her closet door, which she threw open and stepped into it, instantly engrossed in the land of hangers and linen (or, in her closet's case, leather and spandex). After a few seconds of contemplation, she snatched a tight turtle neck that came down to just above her navel, and a short skirt that went to the middle of her thighs. Grabbing a dark red towel and her hair care products (enough to probably supply a small convenience store), she happily walked towards the large bathroom she, her two female companions, and Konan shared.

An hour-long shower later, she practically skipped out of the bathroom, smiling happily to herself, humming Waiting On The End by Linkin Park under her breath. After neatly tucking away her beauty products, she checked her appearance in the mirror. Winking back at it flirtatiously, she was about to walk out of the door when her yaoi calendar caught her eye. March 31st The realization of the date made her heart sink slightly, 'Five days, till…'

Pushing the thought from her mind, her bright mood returned and she skipped out of the door, propelled by her growling stomach. She hoped that lunch would be ready by now…

As she descended the stairs, she was greeted with (as usual) a torrent of shouts and swearing, as well as a large glop of spaghetti in tomato sauce that exploded onto the wall beside her head, speckling her cheek with pulverized tomatoes. Her good mood evaporated on the spot. In front of her eyes, she saw that lunch (or a substance that was supposedly labeled as lunch) was indeed being made, but the kitchen had been turned into a war-zone in the process. At the stove, pots were boiling over with foam as voracious flames licked their sides, one pot entirely encased by them. Next to them, Kakuzu frantically tried to stifle the fire to no avail, seeing as the knob that would be used to control them had snapped off and was now being used as ammo in Charlie's slingshot. Beside that, Sasori rapidly waved his right arm frantically, attempting to put out the flames that had crept onto him. The fridge door had been flung open and was being used as a shield against food and appliances being thrown at Kisame who was taking cover behind it. The person who was doing the throwing was Hidan, at the moment holding a rather large cleaver. Sitting on top of the kitchen table were Tobi and Charlie, taking advantage of the current chaos to pillage the cookie jar. They both had crumbs and smears of chocolate over their hands and face/mask. Underneath the table, someone had taken it upon themselves to bind and gag Deidara, stuffing him there unceremoniously (it was probably Charlie or Itachi's doing). He had a fistful of unwashed socks stuffed into his mouth, and a jump rope that served as handcuffs. Near the toaster, a screeching Jessica was beating the metal appliance with a book, a vein pulsing in her forehead, hair sticking out in all directions as if she had thrust her hand into a fuse box. Konan was beating Pein with a bag of flour which by now was spread out across the floor, coating the floor (as well as the self-proclaimed 'god') in a ghostly powder. Itachi was stabbing a cook book with a kunai, and Zetsu was happily munching on the arm of a random corpse found in the second floor hallway. 'I should be used to this by now…' Slowly picking up the forgotten fire extinguisher, she walked (almost regretfully) towards the flaming stove and the soon-to-be-charcoal Sasori. After putting out Sasori's arm, she thrust the fire extinguisher at him, leaving the ball of fire that used to be an appliance in his care. Turning around, she picked up a spatula and, weighing it quickly, flung it at Hidan, burying the head of it deep into the side of his head. He froze, eyes widening in shock, then fell over, twitching slightly. Kisame, who had just nearly been impaled by a cleaver, shakily nodded to Molly in thanks. Next up were the two kindergarteners to deal with. Stomping over to the table, she snatched the jar of cookies away from Tobi and Charlie, earning watery puppy-eyes in response. She then proceeded to stash them on the highest shelf, away from short pyrotechnical maniacs, and snapped a lock on the handles, to ward off any overly-tall five-year olds (the lock typically was used on the cabinet that held the alcohol and such, but two idiots on a sugar-high was far more frightening than a drunk Jashinist). Peeking under the table, she was greeted with a muffled plea for help from Deidara. Blinking, she stood back up, walking away from the blonde terrorist. After that, she made her way to Jessica, who by now was screeching lewdly at the toaster. Molly jabbed the bright red button on the side, and immediately, two burned black pieces of bread popped up. Before the brunette could say anything, the fangirl walked away, pausing at the spectacle of Pein being beaten to death with a bag of flour. Shrugging, she turned from that as well, heading off to stop Itachi from permanently mangling the recipe for apple tarts.

About five minutes later, Molly had managed to calm down the inhabitants of the kitchen, and had then ordered for everyone to begin cleaning and repairing the kitchen (she was acting as temporary leader while Pein regained consciousness from excess-flour-inhalation). With much grumbling, and the over-hanging threat of her extensive yaoi collection in mind, the Akatsuki and two freeloaders set to work under Molly's watchful eye.