Never Meant to be This Way
Chapter 2
You can all thank Jane and an Anonymous reviewer Thanks Guys
Atem
I had always thought that having Bakura would make everything better. I always thought that if I knew who he was we could be complete. I always wanted to bring him here, behind these prison walls, with me. It was a mistake.
He wasn't happy. Or he was, for an hour or two. What happened to what we had? He would slip in after the sun went down and leave before it came up again. He would not stay… he hated it here. How could I blame him? How could he give up his freedom to be with me?
It would be like locking up a beautiful Siberian tiger in a cage. How could I ever trap my beautiful lover here? Why did I ever dream of it?
Things were so different now. There was no innocence left from what we had had. Something had changed on his first day here. Anger and darkness had slipped into the love that had once been so pure. It seemed some days that he hated me just as much as he loved me; that he wanted to hurt me just as much as he wanted me.
That made me angry. It was who I was, what I was born to: this royal trap that was what made him hate me.
I didn't know whether I was more angered or more hurt by his hate. If I was anyone else it wouldn't have mattered!
At the same time I wasn't complaining. I loved him, I was angered by him, yet at night he was still here, still mine, only mine. The servants heard but did not say. They saw the bruises but said nothing. It was not their place to question the future pharaoh. My father was as ever to busy to notice. Mana noticed; I could tell she was worried. It was no secret I would soon be Pharaoh, my father's health was fading.
It was all pent up inside of me. Before I had always told Mana. I couldn't tell Mana about this. She was a child. My fair, loving, childhood friend. I could never bother her with this.
Bakura, Bakura, the beautiful man was driving me crazy. All I wanted, all I craved, was his love; yet he withheld it from me. I spent my nights in his grip; in a tumultuous experience of pain and pleasure. I spent my days dreaming of him, of what we had before. I couldn't decide whether I liked what we had now. It was heady, intoxicating, passionate but I don't know if it was the beautiful love we had had before.
He was driving me crazy. All day as I went about my duties it seemed it was only him I could think of! At my lessons I was distracted by flashes of memory: the feel of his smooth skin, the taste of his blood, the heat of his body, the strength in his grip, the fierce passion in his eyes; I could not escape it. It did not seem to matter at all what I felt about it in the day hours because when he came as silent and beautiful as a ghost in the night I still took him. Even tonight…
The sun had been down for longer than usual when Bakura appeared. I had begun to worry. Yet as he did every night he came. He came in silence and in stealth. I was getting quicker at recognizing his comings and his goings. I sat awake and alert waiting for him.
"Does something trouble your sleep?" he asked slipping into the bed beside me.
"Only you," I told him leaning towards him to press my lips to his. As usual he did not hold back. No longer were our kisses long and mixed with sweet words. Now when Bakura brought his lips to mine they met in a nearly violent frenzy of emotions. His long pale fingers gripped my biceps in their iron hold. I took a brief moment to ponder how his skin remained so ale here under the desert sun. I did not ponder long I simply allowed my self to be pulled under by the intoxicating power of his touches. The heady taste of his oft lips on mine could drive me crazy. There was nothing that could compare to the feeling of his silk like skin and the hard definition of his muscles as my hands slid over his body. Yet this stage… these moments of reveling did not last long. Soon the few garments we wore were divested. Soon the painful part began. Afterwards I always wondered if we should go back, if we COULD in fact. Yet never in the face of this raw passion did I pause to think before my teeth bit his skin, before my hand struck him, before my nails drew blood. Never did I pause as his hands slid over my heated skin.
Yet now I guess I was pausing. Suddenly I found myself not willing to fight back. Oh my beautiful Bakura what have we done? What have we turned our love into? What monsters of your heart do you wish to fight with me? What had robbed our love of it's beauty? What had taken innocent need and turned it into this violent, raw, monstrous passion?
His violent motions slowed even as my own had. I wondered what he was thinking. What secrets were lurking behind those chocolate eyes. The heat in his eyes was still there, still glowing, yet it seemed to have calmed. It was no longer the desperate look of passion that had over taken us there many nights. His touches were soft now. No longer would they leave bruises in their wake. I closed my eyes. It seemed as if it had been forever since his hands slid so gently over my body. It seemed I could barely remember the feel of his gentle fingers on my face, the softness of his lips on mine. The sweet memories of our love had been covered by ones of heated and painful passion. Now I longed to pull him into my arms, to caress his beautiful skin, to bury my face in his silken hair, to feel the gentle whisper of his lips on my skin. Yet I did not reach out for him. I had the feeling that this would cause us to revert to what we had been doing. I did not want that.
I looked down at him. His face rested on my chest. His eyes were closed. Cautiously I reached down and let one hand slide through his silken hair. He sighed and his head moved almost infinitesimally toward my hand. How I wish it had always been like this: his hand stroking my side down and over my hip in a gentle caress, my hand gently stroking his silky hair, the warmth of his body resting against mine. This moment stretched out into what seemed like a beautiful forever. I wish it would have stayed this way but nothing can last forever. Yet even as Bakura moved his lips trailed a gentle trail of kisses down my chest. He paused again with his head on my hip. His fingers gently caressed my inner thigh causing a moan to slip past my lips. He smiled, not his vicious smile, but the old playful smile. He slid his cool fingers over me and I gasped.
Suddenly I wondered what this would be like. Before we had always fought each other for dominance who ever was on top claiming the right and taking it, none to gently, from the other. This… was something they had never done, it seemed more intimate, more loving. I was distracted from these thoughts as he moved to put is mouth over me. I was distracted by the shifting of muscle, the graceful motion of his body. I gasped as his mouth slipped over me. I could never explain the feelings that surged through me as his mouth moved, his tongue probed, the sensations that brought me to a climax so fast. I did not cry out as I came. I gripped the sheets on the bed and tried to move too violently. He moved away from me when I was done. His tongue moved over his mouth as if to remove the come from it. He lay down beside me, his head in my shoulder. I buried my face in his hair and wrapped my arms around him. I had no idea how long I lay there but it seemed that finally a peaceful, quiet sleep would claim me when there was a pounding on the door…
AN well i just saw that I posted HALF of the chapter :) heres all of it
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Im sorry i took so long
but if you review i have more
